He Doesn’t Love When He Says These. As I said, problems don’t just show from the blues. They have always been there and would have been hinted at because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
We looked at two yesterday, let’s dive into the remaining today.
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These
3. Out of all my girlfriends, you are the best
This is often a logical way to manipulate the emotions of the lady. As a lady, I don’t really know what you are doing with someone who tells you out rightly that you are not the only one he is seeing. Are you encouraging adultery after marriage and giving him a go-ahead? Men don’t really change after marriage! When a man has the guts to tell you that he has several ladies as lovers including you, then as a lady you should have the guts to walk away from such affliction!
4. We don’t have to tell anybody about this relationship
When a guy begins to make this statement, your antenna should go up! Something is defective right there. There are no commitments when he hides the relationship from friends and family. There may be occasions when the parents are not interested in marriage and it is wise to keep quiet for some time, but at least, he should be willing to notify his pastor. What if he doesn’t have a pastor? The answer to that is another question. What are you doing with such a person?
5. I am just managing you and you should thank your stars
When a guy doesn’t love you, he will verbalize it one day, one way or the other. If you are sensitive, you can pick it up from his words. When a guy says he is just managing you, that sounds like wickedness to me. Probably the lady in question has a self-esteem issue, but as a lady, you don’t have any business with anybody that doesn’t value you or appreciate you as a person. After marriage, you don’t want to be treated as a doormat, you want to be valued as a true help.
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be deceived
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me what I don’t know
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 12:34 (KJV) O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disallow your relationship to be sex driven
How To Build Intimacy Intentionally. This is a very interesting topic and I hope we all are ready to learn one or two things. For our marriage to work and be blissful, we have to invest in knowledge. Knowledge is very important in the issue of marriage.
Men and women are so different. We have to humble ourselves to learn and keep on learning.
The whole concept of marriage is for intimacy. Intimacy simply means “into me see, into my needs, or a deep connection between spouses”. It is when two people become one flesh.
Gen 2:23 -25 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Many people build their marriage on different things e.g. kids, career, fame, ministry, and so on, whereas we should build our marriages on our relationships with one another.
The kids will grow and go, what happens to our relationship with each other?
Marriage is meant to survive anything where there is intimacy. It can survive infertility, infidelity, lack, poverty, health challenges, or interference. Interference of in-laws or third parties thrives in a marriage without intimacy.
The bond and covenant of marriage are strong enough to withstand any of these pressures.
When we build intimacy in our marriage that’s when we begin to enjoy the rewards of unity. Where we begin to have great rewards, we begin to chase 10,000 more as a couple.
How do we build intimacy in our relationship? Let’s look at the acronym ‘INTIMACY’.
How To Build Intimacy Intentionally
1. INTENTIONAL
We cannot build intimacy in our marriage without being intentional. We don’t become one at the altar on the wedding day. We are pronounced ‘one’ and then go through the process of becoming one which involves the two spouses.
No marriage suddenly breaks; couples gradually drift apart.
Love can die. If love can grow then it can also die. We have to be intentional about keeping love ablaze.
As powerful as fire is, something has to keep it burning. Such is the passion of love. We start a marriage with emotional love where we love almost unconsciously.
As the marriage grows, we need to be intentional and conscious about loving our spouses, knowing them, meeting their deepest needs, and being there for them.
Good couples become intimate by chance but great couples become intimate by choice. This is How To Build Intimacy Intentionally
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am intentional about being intimate with my spouse. I am careful to notice what their needs are and I meet those needs.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Help me Lord to grow in my intimacy with my spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”. Gen 2:23-24 NKJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be intentional about being intimate with your spouse. Seek to know what love language your spouse is speaking par time and meet their needs.
Why Can’t I Get Someone To Love Me? Before anybody can love you, believe me, you have to love yourself.
Yes, love yourself!
The most Herculean task anybody can embark on is to start loving persons who do not love themselves.
Oh, what a frustrating journey!
The junctions and stops of that pathway is laced with depression, quarrels, several blue days, and emotional blackmails. That is just to mention a few.
Depression will be constant because the person will be most unhappy, always falling into comparison traps and never appreciating himself or herself.
2Co 10:12 (KJV) For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
Why Can’t I Get Someone To Love Me?
Constant quarrels will percolate the relationship because the other lover will be mostly confused as to why unhappiness clouds the relationship. It is a truism that men are confused when their lover is unexcited about them.
No energy, no passion, no excitement, no anticipation, just going through the motions! It is noteworthy that a relationship can be like that and yet filled with pre-marital sex! They would think sex would solve the problem but it would actually add to the confusion.
Several blue days because the devil will plow such a mind, make negative suggestions, plant assumptions, dampen the little morale left and fill the mind with condemnation darts. The presence of such a person is an effulgence of negative vibes!
Emotional blackmails because such a person is good at excuses, always explaining why things went that way, blaming others for his woes, and making his or her lover take the blame for the failures.
The beginning of solving this issue is to resolve the identity crisis, take a journey into God’s word to discover what God says about you, start refusing negative thoughts and suggestions from the devil, and start walking in the Spirit. Walking in the Spirit means listening to hear God and following His direction and wisdom!
Why Can’t I Get Someone To Love Me? One thing you can also do immediately is to saturate your life with the truth of God’s word. Light will always dispel the darkness!
Lastly, be truthful with yourself and stop living in denial. Nobody is able to deal with any situation while still in denial. Confrontation is part of the process of repentance!
May God bless you today!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love myself and I understand who I am in Christ
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, open my eyes to see me!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Co 10:12 (TPT) Of course, we wouldn’t dare to put ourselves in the same class or compare ourselves with those who rate themselves so highly. They compare themselves to one another and make up their own standards to measure themselves by, and then they judge themselves by their own standards. What self-delusion!
Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention. Nobody enters marriage with the intention of divorcing, but along the line, there is a disconnection and couples have crises.
Men and women are different species if I can use that term. That’s why it becomes absolutely necessary for them to study and learn about each other’s world.
God has put so much investment into marriage. The first institution that God created was marriage. He made Adam a husband and a father. Marriage was the first institution before any other institution
We have successful lawyers, businessmen, and doctors, who have spent years before becoming what they are while not succeeding in their marriage because they failed to learn about marriage.
Men’s number one need is Acceptance. Women, never confront your husband. Men are warriors and fighters by nature. If you confront him, he will resist you, instinctively because the warrior in him will rise up.
When you accept him, he knows you are for him. You are an ally, not an enemy.
Women, when you want to get your husband to change don’t confront him. The direct correction will not work. He is not your child which you correct. You are to love your husband and you are to correct your children.
The rule is to accept your man, don’t confront him.
For example, if your husband dresses roughly, don’t tell him he dresses roughly and he needs to change. Tell him he is a very handsome guy and that he will even look better when he wears complimentary colours and dress sharp. He gets the message or better still, find a time he is more relaxed and tell him he looks finer with colours that match.
Women like to fix things, please don’t try to fix your man. Accept and celebrate him. Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention
On the other hand, women need attention. Your wife needs attention. Everything she does, the hair she makes, the cloth she wears, everything is to get your attention. Notice her, verbalize the fact that you notice her. Don’t ignore your wife. Be the first to notice what she’s wearing and comment. Notice when she makes a new hairstyle and make comments.
Tell her she is beautiful and gorgeous. Be tender towards her like you will do to a baby. Shower her with attention, don’t neglect her for another lady. It’s a No, No. Don’t show another female more attention than you show your wife, under any circumstances.
Couples, learn this about each other and make necessary adjustments.
Your marriage will thrive. Men Need Acceptance While Women Need Attention
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I accept my husband. I give my undivided attention to my wife
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father help me to realize that men and women are different. Grant me wisdom in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5: 33.….husbands love your wives, wives respect your husbands
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be mindful of accepting your husband and giving attention to your wife
Oil for Today: Day 383 – Prayer For Relationship And Marriage
Prayer 1
Let’s begin to thank for His mercy
Ps.136.1 – O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
Prayer 2
Lord, I speak mercy to my marriage/relationship.
Job 22.28 – Thou shalt also decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: and the light shall shine upon thy ways.
Prayer 3
Lord turn every evil counsel of the wicked over my marriage/relationship to foolishness
2Sam.15.31b – And David said, O LORD, I pray thee, turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness.
Prayer 4
Lord Jesus take over the building of my marriage/relationship
Ps.127.1(MSG) – If GOD doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks. If GOD doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap.
Prayer 5
I receive wisdom and understanding for my marriage/relationship.
Prov.24.3 (MSG)- It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation;
Prayer 6
Wealth and glory accompany my marriage/relationship in the name of Jesus.
Prov.8.18 – Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness.
Prayer 7
My marriage/relationship is fruitful in the name of Jesus.
Gen.9.7 – And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.
Prayer 8
Appreciate God for the answered prayers.
Eph.3.20 – Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Prayer For Relationship And Marriage
Confession
My marriage/relationship is blessed. I will not lack wisdom and understanding in this marriage/relationship because I have made Christ the foundation. Negative words or counsel will not prevail over my marriage/relationship. The wine therein is fresh everyday and will not end. God is sustaining us with wealth and honour in the name of Jesus. Amen
