Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
There’s a reason God sometimes delays the kind of love you think you’re ready for. God is more concerned about your heart than your relationship status. Many people rush into love thinking it will heal the wounds they have faced, i.e, loneliness, rejection, heartbreak, and fear. The truth is, love doesn’t heal you. God is the only healer of body and soul.
When you don’t give God access to your broken places, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you. You will expect your partner to fill voids only God was meant to satisfy. That’s why some relationships feel like cycles of disappointment because what you’re really craving is healing, not romance.
Before Adam ever received Eve, he was whole, walking with God, working, and worshipping. It was in that place of completeness that God decided it was not good for him to be alone. He didn’t say Adam was lonely. He said he was ready.
Meanwhile, being healed before dating doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you’ve let God into the mess to allow Him to make sense out of your story, and you’re no longer depending on someone else to fix you. Relationships thrive when two whole people meet, not when two broken hearts try to make each other breathe.
God is not punishing you by keeping you single. He’s preparing you. Don’t despise the season of healing. It is the foundation for the love story you’re praying for. As Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Let Him bind up yours.
When you let God heal you, you stop chasing temporary affection and start attracting purpose-aligned love, and that’s the kind of relationship worth waiting for.
Commitment can feel pretty overwhelming. A lot of folks today are nervous about getting tied down or making the wrong choice, especially when it comes to love. We all want something real, but deep down, there’s that fear, not because we don’t want to love, but because we’re scared of what love might ask from us.
“Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16
Take Ruth from the Bible, for example. She made a bold choice to stick with her mother-in-law, Naomi, even though she could’ve gone back to her own people. She didn’t have a husband, no clear plan for how she’d be taken care of, and no guarantee that her future would be brighter. But she chose to stay anyway.
Ruth’s story shows us that commitment isn’t always easy, but it can mean a lot and often comes from a place of faith.
Where does the fear of commitment come from, and why are people afraid of commitment? Many people struggle with the idea of commitment for several reasons:
Past hurt – Some of us have been let down, betrayed, or had our hearts broken before.
Fear of making the wrong choice – No one wants to tie themselves to someone, only to later think it was a huge mistake.
Loss of independence – Some people worry they’ll lose themselves or their freedom in a relationship.
Unrealistic expectations – With social media and those romantic movies, real relationships can feel kinda boring in comparison.
Unhealed wounds – If we’re still carrying baggage from the past, it makes trusting again really hard.
These fears are totally valid, but they shouldn’t run your life or your relationships.
What are the lessons we can learn from Ruth’s life?
1. Commitment is a choice, not just a feeling.
Ruth didn’t feel forced to stay; she made a deliberate decision. Real commitment kicks in when you choose to stick around, even when your feelings are all over the place.
God can guide you toward purpose through commitment.
By staying by Naomi’s side, Ruth eventually met Boaz and became part of Jesus’ family line. She had no clue how her story would unfold, but God honored her loyalty. Commitment often paves the way for unexpected blessings.
Having the fear of commitment is okay, but don’t let it hold you back.
Courage isn’t about the absence of fear; it is moving forward in faith despite it. You don’t have to know every little thing to trust God in your relationships.
2. Healthy commitment comes after healing.
Ruth didn’t jump into another marriage right after. She found healing by walking in faith and making wise, loyal choices. Before jumping into a relationship, give God a chance to help you heal and grow both emotionally and spiritually. Godly commitment aligns with purpose, not just feelings. When God leads your commitment, it brings peace instead of pressure. You don’t have to chase after love—just be ready when it shows up, how God wants it to.
So it’s okay to be nervous. The fear of commitment is ok. Most people aren’t really scared of love itself; they’re just worried about what might go wrong if they give their all. But real growth happens when we confront those fears instead of running away.
Ruth’s story reminds us that healthy and meaningful commitment is out there—it often takes us to the beautiful places God has waiting for us. If you’re single, now’s the time to face your fears honestly, let God work on what needs fixing, and start building the strength and trust that lasting love demands.
No need to rush or pretend. Just be yourself and stay open to the idea that love, when it’s God’s will, it is absolutely worth going for.
Some people are constantly trying to earn love. They over-give, over-explain, and overcompensate—just to be seen, heard, and chosen. They do beyond what they naturally would have done simply because they want to prove they are worth loving. Maybe they grew up in a family where love wasn’t freely given—everyone worked to receive love. When you do right, you’re loved; when you make a mistake, love is withdrawn. And so that’s all they’ve known all their lives—working just to earn love. Well, here’s the truth: You were never meant to beg for what should be freely given.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 [NKJV]
You see that? Love is freely given.
For singles, if you constantly feel the need to prove your value to someone, that’s not love—it may well be a performance. Love doesn’t make you walk on eggshells. Love doesn’t manipulate you with silence or keep you in confusion. If you always feel like you’re “not enough” unless you do more, give more, or become someone else, step back and ask: Is this love or emotional slavery? You still have time to walk out of that relationship. The right person will recognise your worth without needing a presentation.
This is not a stamp of approval to remain the way you are—weakness and all. Work on being a better version of yourself, keep growing, etc., but don’t do these things simply because you are trying to buy someone’s love.
This can also creep in subtly in marriage. In such situations, you start feeling invisible—like your efforts go unnoticed, like you have to compete with work, children, or even social media just to get your spouse’s attention. And you can start feeling empty and all. But remember this: You are valuable, even when you’re unseen. And sometimes, the healing starts when you stop trying to earn love and start receiving it the way God intended—freely, confidently, and without fear.
See Romans 5:8 again: “…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s love—undeserved, unearned, unconditional.
Let’s stop shrinking ourselves to fit into someone’s frail idea of love. And you absolutely don’t have to fight to be loved.
