This morning, I want to write about four principles that should never be flouted by any lady, flouting these principles is a sure way a woman can destroy her family.
1. Never Compare Your Home Or Family With Another.
A lot of women are caught up in comparison traps, spending the money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need in order to impress people that are not even taking note!
You need to understand that some people use 90% of their income to pose and show forth, so it is foolhardy to compare yourself with them.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. -2Corintians 10:12 (KJV)
See how another translation puts it;
We’re not, understand, putting ourselves in a league with those who boast that they’re our superiors. We wouldn’t dare do that. But in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite miss the point. -2Corintians 10:12 (MSG)
When you fall into a comparison trap, you can put yourself, your husband, and your family in unnecessary pressure. Continual comparison can sentence one into a perpetual state of ungratefulness to God which can eventually culminate in depression.
2. Never Become The Head Of Your Family.
That is not the order that God has instituted. The moment you try to do this, you have violated the principles of God and confusion will surely set in.
This is often expressed when you refuse to accept corrections from your husband.
But I want you to understand that Christ is supreme over every man, the husband is supreme over his wife, and God is supreme over Christ. -1Corintians 11:3 (GNB)
I am not in any way suggesting you violate God’s principles in order to ‘submit’ to your husband. But in a general sense, a wife is supposed to submit to her own husband. Some women submit to their Pastors but not to their husbands.
That bothers on hypocrisy because you are submitting to another man’s husband in effect. Your submission to your Pastor becomes genuine when you really submit to your own husband.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise woman. I love my spouse appropriately
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to be a helpmeet indeed
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray for your husband and children now.
Infidelity is the quality of being unfaithful. Once either spouse gets into the muddy, murky waters of infidelity, trust is ruptured, the marital covenant is broken, and God’s principles are violated!
Infidelity is a marriage killer any day. There are so many reasons why people get into infidelity but none of the reasons is justifiable. You have no excuse for becoming unfaithful to your spouse. Adultery is a killer, it looks sweet initially, but the consequences are undesirable.
Let’s look at some scriptures in the book of Proverbs. When Solomon starts talking to you about adultery, you had better listen, he had it all and you will never be able to break his record! He had so many women in his harem that he must have used tallies or numbers to identify them.
Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. –Proverbs 9:17(KJV)
Adultery seems sweet, but what happens afterward?
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. –Proverbs 20:17 (KJV)
You sure don’t want to be served a plate of gravel for food, but that is what a lot of people are cooking for lunch and dinner!
Unfaithfulness in your marriage will also reduce you. It will reduce you to what can be swallowed by the devil. See it here:
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. –Proverbs 6:26 (KJV)
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be faithful. I am kept by God’s power. I am filled with God’s Spirit; I will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord keep me strong and keep me by your Word. Keep me by your Spirit in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So be happy with your wife and find your joy with the woman you married. –Proverbs 5:18
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every immoral relationship.
“Hullo dear, have you slept?” “No, I have not, I am listening! I heard the last thing you said.” The truth is that you have dozed off.
It has happened to me many times, and I am sure it has happened to you as well. My wife is talking to me on the bed, and I have dozed off. I am trying to listen to her because it is a legitimate need of hers, but the son of man is tired!
Somebody said women speak more words than men. A man speaks an average of ten thousand words in a day, but a woman speaks about twenty-five thousand words! There are exceptions, though.
The man is back from work and he has probably exhausted his 10,000 quota since he derives his self-esteem and fulfillment from work.
By the time he is coming back home, he is done for the day, words have been spoken with friends, colleagues, clients, employers, employees, on the phone and so on. He wants to come back home, eat, listen to news, check a few mails, make love to his wife and sleep!
The wife too has probably exhausted 10,000 words at work, but by the time she is home, she still has 15,000 words bubbling in her! It is even worse if she is a housewife! She has nobody to talk to and so people around her say she nags, making repetitions and all that. The fact is that she needs to talk!
So the wife asks her husband “How was work today?” He answers “Fine!” If he is in a good mood, he adds a few more words like, “oh baby, my day was cool, Thank God!”
She is worried he is not talking, but the guy is in no mood to talk.
The husband asks the wife, “how has your day been? And he regrets afterwards! That was all she needs to unleash the words that have been brewing in her like a molten magma. The volcanic eruption of words is so massive; the guy wants to walk away. So she starts from when she woke up, and goes on and on, and the man is wondering: “What did I ask, what is she narrating!”
You see, that is a woman for you and you must not mute her or shut her up! Let her talk! Don’t make a mistake of shouting her down all the time or quieting her! It is a legitimate need of hers.
When a woman has no fear of God and this legitimate need of hers has not been met, she might succumb to the traps of the devil and get that legitimate need met through illegitimate means, which of course will be detrimental to the marriage and the home!
There are people out there who are waiting to capitalize on your insensitivity to your wife and take advantage of that emotional gully created by lack of communication.
You see, a lady becomes emotionally connected to the person she talks to!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY (Pro 18:4) The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
You should not only call the disciples (other friends) into your marriage, but you need to call Jesus as well. Both Jesus and his disciples were called. When they needed a miracle, it wasn’t the disciples that turned water into wine, they were busy drinking wine, but it was Jesus. There are times when the wine of the marriage dries up, and it is Jesus you need at such times.
In marriage, you need the person of Jesus and the principles of Jesus to make it. But you know, a marriage full of sexual compromise and lack of self-control is not giving space for Jesus at all. When you start having adultery, you are doing things worthy of self-rustication from the school. You are kicking at your teacher and you are trying to say you want things done your own way.
A marriage where the husband, wife or both of them are cheating are disenfranchising themselves from the very help and wisdom they need in their marriage! The scripture advises that you drink water from your own cistern!
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? – Proverbs 5:15 – 20
When you drink water from your own cistern (talking about making love with your wife), it is like water turned into wine. How sweet it is!
But, when you drink water from strange women and cisterns, you are taking poison! It tastes sweet in your mouth but it will hurt you!
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. – Proverbs 20:17
The teacher is compassionate! He stands at the door of the class, in your heart, and simply wants you to extend an invitation to him to enter the class! In your marriage, the wine will always be insufficient.
Your own wisdom will fail you. But he is there to help you out, if you invite him!
Will you invite him today? It is the best thing to do. He will save you from shame and keep the wine of your marriage, life and destiny flowing beautifully. He will teach you how to make your marriage a bliss and not full of blisters, how to make it a haven and not an oven!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
Believe me, all these contribute to the total well-being of a good marriage. But they can’t do all these when there are people living with them observing every move they make with critical eyes and breathing down their necks. They need that free space before the children start coming.
In those foundational years, the couple needs to become friends. What do friends do? They talk. They communicate. Study yourselves, Discuss temperamental differences. Watch Television together. Play games on your laptops together in your free time.
Dear wife, study your husband’s likes. Make up your mind to fall in love with what he loves. If he is a football lover, start watching football. This is the only way he won’t leave you at home to go and watch football with his friends outside.
Study his passion. Be passionate with his passion! Don’t feel left out when he buries his head in his laptop, iPad, etc. Join him and pad the iPad together! That’s the secret!
Dear husband, your immediate family which is made up of you and your wife is more important than any other in this world. You have the responsibility to protect it.
Don’t turn your newly wedded wife into a cook, because she has to cook for cousins, brothers, etc! The wife is not a professional cook or dry-cleaner who cooks from morning till night catering for the husband’s three brothers and mother from the village!
That is not healthy for any marriage! Sometimes, this is in addition to her career! And then, you wonder why she is always tired when you get to bed.
Give her quality time. Study her love language. Give her listening time. When she is talking, maintain eye to eye contact, and be involved even when she is discussing illogical things. Just listen and you won’t lose her to moods and depression.
Tomorrow, we will continue the series on Relationship and Marriage Killers.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom to fulfill my role in my marriage. My marriage is kept by God’s power. My marriage will not turn into hardship. I am helped of God. I am directed by the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my relationships and marriage and fill me with the Spirit id wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the suggestions above
