Marriage is an institution created by God for a purpose. It’s one of the most significant decisions you will ever make. This is a world where emotions run high and destiny calls, but many singles still find themselves asking if they should marry for love or purpose.
Genesis 2:18 (NIV) The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
The scripture gave us a reason why it is not good for a man to be alone which is why it said He will make him a helper suitable for him. The gospel truth is that love and purpose work together and every destiny decision must have a strong WHY.
The first thing Adam saw in Eve was her beauty. He was blown away and immediately gave her the name WOMAN. When he was to name the animals that God created, God had to give the instructions, but when he saw his wife, his purpose to oversee, to be fruitful and to multiply began to flow effortlessly, which made him name Eve immediately. Even though he was asleep when she was created out of his ribs, he got her name at first sight and followed through with sweet lines.
Genesis 2:23 (NIV)The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
There has to be a complementation between you and your spouse that allows you to flow naturally in the fulfillment of your purpose with deep love.
So, leaving purpose out for love does not balance with the equation of God.
Here are reasons you should marry for love and purpose.
1. Love without purpose is risky
Love is a powerful force. It makes your heart race, gives you butterflies, and makes you believe in forever. But love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. Feelings can be fleeting, and what happens when life gets hard? You will no longer feel the excitement you once had. When you make love a choice, your WHYs will reflect and you will be able to sustain better than relying on the feelings of love alone.
Proverbs 19:21 (NIV) “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
Marriage without purpose is like a car without fuel. It may look good on the outside, but it won’t go far.
2. Purpose without love is a struggle
On the other hand, marrying only for purpose, whether it’s for ministry, business, or societal expectations without genuine love can feel like a job instead of a joyful union. If you choose a partner just because they align with your calling but lack deep affection, your marriage may feel forced and duty-bound rather than fulfilling.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
Purpose alone won’t carry you through the days when you need warmth, affection, and deep emotional connection.
3. Balance love with purpose
The best marriages are those where love and purpose align. Love brings joy, intimacy, and companionship, while purpose gives direction, meaning, and a shared vision. God’s design for marriage is not just about romance or function, it’s about a divine partnership that glorifies Him.
Before saying “I do,” ask yourself:
● Does this person truly love me, not just in words but in action?
● Do we share the same spiritual and life purpose?
● Will our marriage honor God and advance His kingdom?
God’s plan for marriage includes love, partnership, and purpose to work together. If you marry only for love, you may wake up one day wondering why you’re together. If you marry only for purpose, you might feel emotionally disconnected and unfulfilled.
It’s only when love and purpose meet that you experience a marriage that is not only joyful but also God-ordained. So, love and the tendency of your purpose fulfillment have to be found in the person you’re choosing for marriage.
We’ve all been there, right? You’re at a family dinner, and someone drops one of those classic questions, “So, are you seeing anyone?” Cue the awkward smile and half-hearted laugh. Whether it’s your sweet grandma who’s hoping for a wedding or your bestie playfully nudging you about dating apps, the pressure can feel real.
Here’s the thing: Their questions usually come from a good place—they care about you and want you to be happy. But that doesn’t make the constant probing any less frustrating. Let’s break it down together: how to respond, how to set boundaries, and most importantly, how to stay rooted in your faith and authentic self.
Step 1: Be Real About Your Feelings
First things first—communicate. Let’s take a cue from Proverbs 15:1: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” When a family member starts grilling you about your love life, try sharing your perspective calmly:
“I really appreciate your concern, but I’m focusing on my relationship with God and myself right now.”
“Thanks for asking! I’m actually really content with where I am, and I trust God’s timing.”
This isn’t about shutting people down but inviting them to see where you’re coming from. Your loved ones may not fully get it, but most will appreciate the honesty.
Step 2: Guard Your Heart with Boundaries
You know what’s holy? Boundaries. Jesus Himself modeled this—remember when He stepped away from the crowds to pray (Luke 5:16)? Sometimes, you’ve got to do the same to protect your peace.
When the questions get too intense, it’s okay to draw the line:
“Hey, I’d rather not talk about my dating life. Let’s chat about something else!”
“Can we take a break from the dating questions? I’ll let you know if there’s an update!”
Boundaries aren’t about being rude; they’re about taking care of your mental and emotional health. And guess what? That’s biblical too. Philippians 4:7 reminds us that God’s peace will guard our hearts and minds—sometimes that peace comes from setting limits.
Step 3: Find Your People
Let’s face it, not everyone will get it. That’s why it’s so important to have a squad of friends who respect your choices and support your journey. Maybe that’s your Bible study group or your go-to brunch crew. Surround yourself with people who cheer you on whether you’re single, dating, or somewhere in between.
Also, don’t forget to lean into your relationship with God. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” That doesn’t mean He’s handing out spouses like Starbucks gift cards, but it does mean He knows your heart and has a plan for you—one better than anyone else’s timeline.
Step 4: Shift the Focus
Redirect the conversation. Next time someone brings up dating, try steering the chat toward other things you’re passionate about:
“I’m not dating right now, but let me tell you about this amazing project I’m working on!”
“No special someone yet, but I’m super excited about what God’s doing in my life right now!”
This not only shifts the narrative but also reminds people that your life is full and meaningful, regardless of your relationship status.
Step 5: Embrace Your Season
Being single isn’t a waiting room; it’s a whole season of its own, full of growth, opportunities, and joy. Think about Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34—he talks about how singleness can be a time to focus on the Lord without distractions. That doesn’t mean dating is bad; it just means that every season has its purpose.
Whether you’re single, dating, or “it’s complicated,” the goal is to live authentically and trust God’s timing. Don’t let anyone rush you into a season you’re not ready for.
Real Talk: You’re Not Alone
Feeling the pressure can be tough, but remember: You’re not the only one navigating this. Share your experiences with trusted friends, pray about your concerns, and give yourself grace.
Dating—or not dating—isn’t what defines you. Your worth isn’t tied to a relationship status; it’s rooted in who God says you are. So, next time someone asks about your love life, flash that confident smile and remind yourself: I’m walking in God’s plan, and that’s enough.
Got tips or stories about handling dating pressure? Share them in the comments! Let’s keep the conversation going.
30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage by Eno Jerry Part 2
We started on this yesterday and we will conclude today.
19. Manage Expectations
It’s normal to fantasize about marriage and picture the ideal relationship. However, unrealistic expectations can damage a union if not addressed. When two individuals commit their lives together, compromise is necessary.
No one is perfect, so don’t expect your partner to meet all of your emotional or physical needs without also meeting theirs. Appreciate your significant other for who they are, not who you imagine them to be. Small irritations that seemed minor before may bother you more as a married couple.
20. Find Purpose
Also, your partner should not have to fulfill your purpose or identity. While support is important, relying on them solely for happiness places unfair pressure on their shoulders. Maintain interests and friendships outside the marriage for balance.
Similarly, allow your partner space to follow their dreams too. Whether it’s furthering education, changing careers, or pursuing hobbies, encourage each other’s goals. Make time for activities you each enjoy separately as well as together.
21. Be Flexible
Compromise means considering your spouse’s perspective and finding solutions that work for you both. Be willing to bend when possible and don’t just think of yourself. With patience and teamwork, you can overcome challenges as a united front. Going into marriage with realistic views sets the stage for a fulfilling partnership built on mutual understanding and support. Unmet fantasies often stem the root of dissatisfaction.
22. Work on Communication
Strong communication serves as the foundation for any healthy relationship. However, speaking and listening with understanding do not always come naturally and require effort. As a couple, make developing this skill a priority.
Start by listening without judgment or assumptions when your partner speaks.
Focus fully on what they say rather than thinking of your response. Ask clarifying questions if needed so you can see things from their perspective. All these are important before marriage.
When sharing your feelings or needs, do so respectfully using “I statements” instead of accusations. Say something like “I feel upset when you forget our plans because I was looking forward to our time together.” This avoids placing blame.
Discussing disagreements kindly helps resolve issues rather than letting them fester. Come prepared to compromise rather than demand your way. Take breaks if tensions rise so you can return to difficult topics with clearer heads.
23. Don’t Sweep Issues Under The Carpet.
Small problems become big ones if not addressed. So talk through everyday annoyances before they accumulate. Catching issues early gives the best chance of a resolution that satisfies you both. With practice, you’ll strengthen your ability to communicate supportively as a team.
Healthy communication habits take work but are well worth establishing as the foundation for a strong marriage. Facing challenges together through respectful discussion helps deepen understanding and intimacy between partners
24. Seek Counseling if Needed
Even couples excited about marriage may have areas to improve before tying the knot. Pre-marital counseling provides an objective third party to help identify issues and give you tools to build a healthy relationship.
A counselor can guide meaningful discussions that you and your partner find difficult alone. They’ll prompt reflection on your backgrounds, values, expectations, and communication styles. This helps ensure you see eye to eye on important topics and are ready to support each other.
Working through any existing problems with a professional also gives the best chance of overcoming them. Bottled-up resentment or unresolved conflicts from your past are less likely to negatively impact your marriage.
Pre-marital sessions teach relationship skills like active listening, “I statements,” compromising, and managing conflict. Practicing these with guidance strengthens your bond and ability to face challenges together down the road.
Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if you notice areas of concern. It takes courage to address problems head-on with your partner and a counselor. But it provides so much benefit to working through difficulties before marriage rather than hoping they’ll disappear after “I dos.”
With counseling, you’ll feel confident that you and your significant other are fully prepared for the commitment of marriage. Your union will be built on a strong foundation of understanding, trust, and communication from the very beginning.
25. Signs It May Not Last
While every couple faces obstacles, some partnerships show red flags indicating deeper issues. If several of these signs apply to your relationship, seriously consider whether you and your partner are ready for marriage. It’s better to acknowledge problems now rather than later.
26. Lack of Commitment
One or both individuals are not fully bought into the marriage. They are not willing to put in the effort it requires through good and bad. One or both feet may still be out the door. Before marriage, this area should be sorted.
27. Inability to Solve Problems
Major conflicts over important issues like finances, intimacy, or in-laws are left unresolved. Partners lack effective communication skills and are unable or unwilling to find compromises. This is a crucial area that needs to be addressed before marriage.
28. Unrealistic Expectations
One or both have an idealized, fantasy view of marriage and relationships rather than a realistic one. They expect their partner to meet all their needs and resolve all their issues. Before marriage, unrealistic expectations should be discarded.
29. Lack of Trust or Respect
There are underlying trust issues due to past hurts, different values, or personality clashes. Partners disrespect one another through insensitive words, dismissal of feelings, or private criticism. If this happened before marriage without check, it will still happen afterward.
30. Frequent or Escalating Arguments
Disagreements happen, but true red flags include arguments that end in personal attacks, name-calling, or one partner trying to control the other through anger or tears.
Take time to reflect on whether any of these signs ring true for your relationship. Addressing concerns with counseling before marriage gives the best chance at a healthy union built to stand the test of time.
