Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse. Mr. And Mrs. Johnson have long embarked on an endless journey of changing themselves, as they both believed they were each other’s problems. They also believed that if they were able to change their spouse, then their marriage would become heaven on earth. However, their attempt to change each other was the least feeble, and they constantly met a brick wall that stood like the rock of Gibraltar. Their missions failed woefully! How would they change themselves?
It has been said that you cannot change your spouse! And that is very true. Only God can change anybody. But wait, there are things you can deploy and activate to effect a lasting change in your spouse. Ultimately, it is God that will do the job, but there is a man-ward side to be deployed to enter into that economy of God where true change happens.
I want to quickly show you three such things you can do when you have a difficult spouse or an uncooperative spouse. The kind of change you want can be anything ranging from, “I want my spouse to be romantic” to “My spouse is an unbeliever”
If you are still single, and your lover is an unbeliever, there is no need to pray for any change. Just leave because God’s word is extremely clear on that!
What are the Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse?
Through Your Words
Eph 5:26 (KJV) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Speak the right words in your relationships and marriage. Keep saying what you want to see and not what is happening. I am not asking you to endorse or endure something wrong, I am saying, rather than sulk, think, get moody, or depressed, open your mouth and declare and activate God’s counsel by the spoken word.
Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse
2. Through Prayers
Jas 5:17-18 (MSG) [17] Elijah, for instance, human just like us, prayed hard that it wouldn’t rain, and it didn’t—not a drop for three and a half years. [18] Then he prayed that it would rain, and it did. The showers came and everything started growing again.
Prayers can do the impossible. Deploy the power of prayers rather than slide into depression. Enter into the realm of God where you can touch the heavens and birth something supernatural in your relationship and marriage!
Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse
3. Through Praise
Psa 149:6 (KJV) Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a twoedged sword in their hand;
High praise in your mouth equals a two-edged sword in your hands. Use it effectively and constantly and you will see God’s power in your life and marriage.
The tactics the devil uses doesn’t change. It is important we get conversant with his tactics so that we can better prepare ourselves and safeguard our destinies with the help of the Holy Spirit from falling into his traps.
That is why the scripture says
Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices. -2Corinthains 2:11 (KJV)
The Amplified version says:
To keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions. -2Corinthains 2:11 (AMP)
We must by the Spirit of God protect ourselves so that he does not get an advantage over us in our relationships.
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? –Genesis 3:1 (KJV)
In verse one of the above verse, he said:
“Yea, hath God said…”
He still does the same today. What he does is to challenge the truth of God’s word in your heart.
He did the same thing for Jesus Christ!
The temptations of Jesus Christ were crafted to challenge the word of God. That was why the moment Jesus Christ responded with “It is written…,” he won!
Why would the devil always challenge God’s word?
The reason is obvious. The moment he makes you doubt God’s word or reject God’s word, he would have a foothold to operate.
So he comes and says things like:
“Did God really say we should not have pre-marital sex?”
“But everybody is compromising! Why should I be different?”
“Can I really marry someone without ‘testing’ that person in bed?”
Sometimes he even comes quoting scripture and misapplies it. He says things like:
“The scriptures says we must be wise as a serpent, so I don’t think it is wrong to fight for my job at workplace by sleeping with my boss”
“Is it really wrong to be involved in adultery? David was adulterous, and yet God still said He is a man after His heart. Did God not approve adultery there? If God hates an adulterous life, He would have killed David!”
He comes and tells two people who are in courtship:
“See, there is nothing wrong in kissing and petting. It is something we should do in order to express our love since we are sure of getting married!”
He tells another:
“There is nothing wrong with masturbation. We must find a way to relieve the pressure, in as much as we did not fornicate. Even one Pastor said it is okay…”
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In all things, I give thanks, including for the priceless gift of a good spouse and helper. I will not allow the devil, pride, pressures of life, and ignorance direct, and lead me astray.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me your wisdom to be a good partner to my future spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Do you see what we’ve got? An unshakable kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander. –Hebrews 12:28 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make up your mind to stand strong in God
Expecting your spouse to change overnight will leave you heavily disappointed. It is entirely different if either spouse is an unbeliever; change in that sense is possible and can be anytime.
But when we talk about habits, attitudes, and behavioral patterns it can take a while.
Take note of these few points:
1. Patience
You will need to exercise patience! It takes a while. Let’s assume your spouse was twenty-five years old by the time you got married. It means that he or she has been formed into a certain mold for twenty-five years. Coming into marriage and expecting a quick change because you sermonized or lectured him or her will not make a change in a few days, expecting a quick change, may leave you disappointed.
Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud… -1Corinthians 13:4 (CEV)
I think in marriages, you always get to understand that virtue called “long-suffering!”
2. Don’t Lecture Or Sermonize
Your lectures and long talks do nothing at the end of the day; it only turns you into a nag, a domineering spouse, and an impatient spouse.
Between a husband and a wife, one will talk more than the other; don’t ever make the mistake of thinking your ability to package words is effective on your spouse.
It is even much more annoying and irritatingly hilarious if your spouse is a phlegmatic who doesn’t want trouble; he or she will allow you to talk and talk, and then will promise you there is change, only so that you can stop talking!
Only to do the very thing you’ve been talking about again!
You feel like escaping from the marriage, but sorry, you are hooked already!
Trust God that things will get better.
3. Pray Rather Than Talk And Talk
Your most effective and sure way to create any change is to pray. Take it to God and stop wearing yourself out.
Try and think about it, you’ve been complaining about something for seven years, yet no change! and you keep complaining!
Don’t you think in seven years, your spouse has disconnected himself or herself from your complaints?
He or she has mastered the art of closing the gate of his heart; you are only talking to the ears!
It does nothing and it would do nothing!
Pray about it!
4. Get Back Into Dating Mode
You used to love yourselves! You used to overlook and ignore some things you are bitterly complaining about now. What happened?
You need to get back into that romantic mode and love each other again rather than thinking your spouse is the problem of your family!
Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. -1Corinthians 13:7 (CEV)
Be supportive, be hopeful, and trust again. Cast your cares unto Jesus and stop focusing on the flaws of your spouse.
Get back into appreciating him or her in their area of strength.
I pray that God will help you need and send the very help you need in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love my spouse again
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, and never gives up. -1Corinthians 13:7 (GW)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read Myles Munroe’s book on the Myth of Singleness
We live in a dissatisfied generation. Those who are short in height wished they were taller. The white is tanning their bodies trying to get dark, the blacks are bleaching trying to get white. The young are tinting their hair white, the old are dyeing their hair black.
Singles are posing with wedding ring, those married forget to wear it, those with beards are shaving off, those with none are using methylated spirit to grow some!
Today, I have a story to tell. Are you ready for it? Here we go. Once upon a time, (time – time), when I was single, I looked forward to marriage. Now that I am married, I missed the time I was single! End of story!
Singles will hardly believe that because all in their mind is to get married so that everything can change. I have been happily married for twenty two years and here are a few things I have learned that might bless you if you are still single.
1. Marriage will not make you happier.
Be happy before marriage. Marriage has no power in itself beyond the two people involved.
2. Marriage will not change you.
Change begins inwardly. Marriage is not a change agent. Marriage will not improve your attitudes, it will expose them. Marriage does not eliminate your weaknesses, it will amplify them. Start working on your attitudes and weaknesses before marriage.
3. Marriage will not cure loneliness.
There are several married people who have their spouses with them by the second, but are extremely lonely. Loneliness is more of a state of mind than availability of people around you.
The loneliest people in the world are sometimes the ones with large number of fans and crowd around them. Only God’s word can cure the root cause of loneliness. Few Things Marriage Will Not Do For You
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I keep on praying over my relationship in season and out of season.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your grace rest upon my relationship in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 4:6 KJVBe careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be a happy Single
In summary, these are a few pragmatic things to do when you want a change.
1. Give your life to Jesus Christ genuinely and ensure every member of your family does.
2. Find a Bible-believing church and join the foundation class, with intention of becoming a worker. Do not go to church to seek miracles only, let your motivation be to grow in the things of God.
3. Never miss reading God’s word daily. Find scriptures that address that area where you need change. That is what will renew your mind.
4. From what you read daily, pick one or two verses to meditate on daily. You can do it with your spouse.
5. Go for water baptism by immersion
6. Go for Holy Ghost Baptism with evidence of speaking in tongues. This is the power of Christianity and it is the power of the Holy Spirit that gives you dominion over sin.
7. Pray in the Spirit often
8. Have a close mentor for accountability’s sake. Somebody you and your spouse can access one on one or via phone that will keep you on your toes and help guide you in major decisions.
Your mentor is not the one that pursues you; you are the one that pursues him because he usually has many protégées. I do this for quite a number of people and help mentor their marriage.
9. Serve in any capacity in God’s house and be sensitive to give when God asks you to.
10. You and your spouse should do a personal retreat from time to time.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY My mind is being renewed daily by God’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I pull down every stronghold in my mind that is keeping me bound to low life.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY Phil 4: 13 ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take relevant scriptures in the area you need renewal in your mind and begin to study, meditate and speak them to yourself.
