Life Is All About Change (And That’s a Good Thing!)
Change can feel like a rollercoaster ride you never asked to be on. One minute, you’re cruising through life, and the next, everything’s flipped upside down—new job, new city, new responsibilities, and suddenly, you’re adulting (whether you feel ready or not). But guess what? Change is a part of God’s plan for you, and it’s through these transitions that we grow—both in our faith and in life.
From childhood to adolescence, adulthood, and beyond, each stage of life brings new challenges, fresh opportunities, and growth moments. The secret sauce to thriving? Embracing the change. When you choose to face transitions with an open heart and mind, you’re not just surviving; you’re thriving.
Why Change Feels Like a Big Deal (But Doesn’t Have to Be)
It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed by change. After all, leaving your comfort zone can feel like stepping into the unknown (yikes!). In childhood, we learn the basics—how to make friends, how to tie our shoes, and how to love peanut butter (or not). Then, adolescence hits, and suddenly, it’s all about figuring out who we are, what we believe in, and where we fit in this world. Oh, and there’s that whole “peer pressure” thing. Fun times, right?
Fast forward to adulthood, and the stakes get even higher—career choices, relationships, and maybe even starting a family. The decisions we make now can shape our future, which sounds intense, but here’s the deal: God equips us to handle it. Each phase of life is an opportunity to trust Him more and discover who He created us to be.
The Real Perks of Embracing Change
Okay, so we know change can be hard, but why should we lean into it? Here are a few reasons embracing change is worth it:
1. You’ll Discover New Strengths
When you’re thrown into unfamiliar territory, you’ll find out just how capable you are. Think of it like spiritual and personal muscle-building. Each challenge is a chance to grow stronger and more resilient. You may even uncover passions or skills you never knew you had. Pretty cool, right?
2. You’ll Build Emotional Resilience
Dealing with change isn’t just about getting through it—it’s about growing through it. The more we adapt, the more emotionally resilient we become. Life will always throw curveballs, but embracing them with faith gives you the tools to bounce back even stronger.
3. Your Relationships Will Get Stronger
Ever notice how going through tough times can bring people closer? When you embrace change, you often find yourself leaning on family, friends, and God. These moments can deepen your relationships, creating bonds that are strong enough to withstand life’s twists and turns.
Let’s Get Real: Why Change Scares Us
Change can be scary, especially when it feels like you’re walking blindfolded. Fear of the unknown is real, but it doesn’t have to paralyze you. Whether it’s anxiety about a new job, fear of moving to a new city, or even just the small day-to-day adjustments, it’s all about mindset. Instead of seeing change as something to fear, see it as an opportunity for growth. Plus, Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us that we don’t have to be anxious about anything when we bring it all to God in prayer.
Supporting Each Other Through Transitions
Here’s a life hack: you don’t have to go through change alone. Leaning on community—whether it’s friends, family, or your church family—can make all the difference. Sharing your struggles, victories, and everything in between with people you trust helps lighten the load.
Remember that time your friend started a new job and was freaking out? Now think about how you were able to offer support and encouragement. That’s what community is all about. We’re called to bear each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) and to remind each other of God’s faithfulness, even in the middle of uncertainty.
Practical Tips for Embracing Change (Without Losing Your Mind)
So how do we actually do this? Here are some tried-and-true tips for navigating change like a pro:
Stay Present: Praying and even just breathing exercises can help you stay grounded when things feel chaotic. Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34), so focus on today and trust God with the rest.
Set Small Goals: Overwhelmed by change? Break it down. Setting small, achievable goals helps you stay focused and gives you those mini-wins that keep you motivated.
Get a Support System: Surround yourself with people who get it. Whether it’s your best friend, mentor, or small group, having people to talk to makes the journey a lot less lonely.
Flip the Script: Instead of seeing change as something to dread, reframe it as an opportunity for growth. Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things together for good, even the tough stuff.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey
Here’s the thing: change is inevitable, but growth is optional. Every life stage brings new challenges and opportunities, and while the road might be bumpy at times, it’s all part of God’s plan for your personal and spiritual growth.
So the next time life throws a curveball, remember: you’ve got this. God’s got this. Embrace the change, lean on your community, and watch how you’ll grow in ways you never imagined. And who knows? You might even end up enjoying the ride.
Stay curious, stay faithful, and trust the process—because God’s not done with you yet.
So, What Exactly Are Unhealthy Relationship Patterns?
Alright, let’s be real: relationships can be complicated. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we find ourselves stuck in unhealthy patterns. These can range from being codependent to dealing with manipulation or even emotional abuse. But what does all of this mean?
Codependency happens when you’re constantly putting your partner’s needs above your own, losing yourself in the process. Picture this: You’re always sacrificing your goals just to keep them happy, and after a while, resentment creeps in. Sound familiar?
Then there’s manipulation—where one person uses guilt or mind games to control the other. Ever had a partner who said, “If you really loved me, you’d do this”? That’s manipulation in action. Not cool, right?
And of course, emotional abuse—the more sneaky, damaging stuff like constant criticism or isolating you from friends and family. It can mess with your head and make you question your self-worth.
All of these patterns usually stem from deeper issues, like past trauma or attachment styles (which we’ll get into later). But the good news? Once you recognize these patterns, you can take steps to break free and create healthier connections.
How to Spot Unhealthy Patterns Like a Pro
So, how do you know if you’re in an unhealthy relationship? It’s not always obvious, especially when feelings are involved. But here are some signs to watch out for:
Anxiety on Repeat: Are you constantly feeling anxious about where you stand in the relationship? Do you second-guess everything you say or do? That’s a major red flag.
Lack of Trust: If you’re always questioning each other’s intentions or snooping through phones, it’s time to hit pause. Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship.
Losing Yourself: When you start changing your values, hobbies, or even your personality to fit into your partner’s world, you’re losing touch with you. Your relationship should enhance your identity, not erase it.
Same Fights, Different Days: If you keep arguing about the same things over and over, and the fights escalate over the smallest issues, it’s likely a sign that there’s something bigger beneath the surface.
Communication Breakdown: If meaningful conversations are becoming fewer and farther between, it’s a sign of disconnection. Healthy relationships thrive on open dialogue, not on avoiding tough conversations.
Breaking Free from Unhealthy Patterns
Now that you’ve identified the patterns, let’s talk about breaking free. Here’s where the hard work—and the magic—happens.
Set Clear Boundaries First things first: set some healthy boundaries. Let your partner know what’s okay and what’s not. This doesn’t have to be a confrontation. It’s about communicating your needs and standing firm on them. Your boundaries should protect your emotional and mental well-being.
Therapy Can Be a Game Changer Therapy isn’t just for “big” issues. It’s for anyone who wants to understand themselves better and break unhealthy cycles. Whether it’s individual therapy or couples counseling, having a professional guide you through the process can be super empowering.
Self-Care is Essential When was the last time you really focused on you? Take time to invest in your hobbies, spend time with friends, and nurture your spiritual life. The more grounded you are, the more you can show up as your best self in any relationship.
Look for the Red Flags Keep an eye out for red flags like disrespect, dishonesty, or controlling behavior. If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to step back when needed.
Building Healthier Relationships: What’s Next?
Alright, you’ve done the work to break free from unhealthy patterns—now what? It’s time to build the kind of relationships that bring joy and help you grow.
Communication is Key Make open and honest communication a priority. Don’t just sweep things under the rug. Have tough conversations, share your thoughts and feelings, and listen to your partner with empathy.
Mutual Respect A healthy relationship is built on respect—respect for each other’s individuality, opinions, and personal space. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you should value each other’s perspectives.
Trust and Intimacy Trust is earned through consistency. Be reliable, be honest, and create a space where both you and your partner feel safe. Intimacy isn’t just physical; it’s about being vulnerable, sharing your deepest thoughts, and connecting emotionally.
Keep Your Independence A healthy relationship is made up of two whole individuals. Continue to invest in your own growth, hobbies, and friendships. Your relationship should complement your life, not consume it.
Your Path to Healthier Relationships
Breaking free from unhealthy patterns isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. By recognizing the signs, setting boundaries, seeking help when needed, and committing to personal growth, you’re laying the foundation for relationships that are strong, fulfilling, and grounded in faith.
Now, I want to hear from you! Have you ever experienced unhealthy patterns in your relationships? How did you overcome them? Drop a comment below and let’s chat about it! Or, if you’re ready to take action, why not reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist and start your journey toward healthier connections?
Whether you’re single, dating, or figuring it all out, remember this: you deserve a relationship that uplifts, supports, and helps you grow into the person God created you to be. Take the first step today, and you’ll be amazed at how far you can go.
Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse. Mr. And Mrs. Johnson have long embarked on an endless journey of changing themselves, as they both believed they were each other’s problems. They also believed that if they were able to change their spouse, then their marriage would become heaven on earth. However, their attempt to change each other was the least feeble, and they constantly met a brick wall that stood like the rock of Gibraltar. Their missions failed woefully! How would they change themselves?
It has been said that you cannot change your spouse! And that is very true. Only God can change anybody. But wait, there are things you can deploy and activate to effect a lasting change in your spouse. Ultimately, it is God that will do the job, but there is a man-ward side to be deployed to enter into that economy of God where true change happens.
I want to quickly show you three such things you can do when you have a difficult spouse or an uncooperative spouse. The kind of change you want can be anything ranging from, “I want my spouse to be romantic” to “My spouse is an unbeliever”
If you are still single, and your lover is an unbeliever, there is no need to pray for any change. Just leave because God’s word is extremely clear on that!
What are the Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse?
Through Your Words
Eph 5:26 (KJV) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Speak the right words in your relationships and marriage. Keep saying what you want to see and not what is happening. I am not asking you to endorse or endure something wrong, I am saying, rather than sulk, think, get moody, or depressed, open your mouth and declare and activate God’s counsel by the spoken word.
Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse
2. Through Prayers
Jas 5:17-18 (MSG) [17] Elijah, for instance, human just like us, prayed hard that it wouldn’t rain, and it didn’t—not a drop for three and a half years. [18] Then he prayed that it would rain, and it did. The showers came and everything started growing again.
Prayers can do the impossible. Deploy the power of prayers rather than slide into depression. Enter into the realm of God where you can touch the heavens and birth something supernatural in your relationship and marriage!
Three Ways To Change Your Lover And Spouse
3. Through Praise
Psa 149:6 (KJV) Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a twoedged sword in their hand;
High praise in your mouth equals a two-edged sword in your hands. Use it effectively and constantly and you will see God’s power in your life and marriage.
The tactics the devil uses doesn’t change. It is important we get conversant with his tactics so that we can better prepare ourselves and safeguard our destinies with the help of the Holy Spirit from falling into his traps.
That is why the scripture says
Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices. -2Corinthains 2:11 (KJV)
The Amplified version says:
To keep Satan from getting the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions. -2Corinthains 2:11 (AMP)
We must by the Spirit of God protect ourselves so that he does not get an advantage over us in our relationships.
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? –Genesis 3:1 (KJV)
In verse one of the above verse, he said:
“Yea, hath God said…”
He still does the same today. What he does is to challenge the truth of God’s word in your heart.
He did the same thing for Jesus Christ!
The temptations of Jesus Christ were crafted to challenge the word of God. That was why the moment Jesus Christ responded with “It is written…,” he won!
Why would the devil always challenge God’s word?
The reason is obvious. The moment he makes you doubt God’s word or reject God’s word, he would have a foothold to operate.
So he comes and says things like:
“Did God really say we should not have pre-marital sex?”
“But everybody is compromising! Why should I be different?”
“Can I really marry someone without ‘testing’ that person in bed?”
Sometimes he even comes quoting scripture and misapplies it. He says things like:
“The scriptures says we must be wise as a serpent, so I don’t think it is wrong to fight for my job at workplace by sleeping with my boss”
“Is it really wrong to be involved in adultery? David was adulterous, and yet God still said He is a man after His heart. Did God not approve adultery there? If God hates an adulterous life, He would have killed David!”
He comes and tells two people who are in courtship:
“See, there is nothing wrong in kissing and petting. It is something we should do in order to express our love since we are sure of getting married!”
He tells another:
“There is nothing wrong with masturbation. We must find a way to relieve the pressure, in as much as we did not fornicate. Even one Pastor said it is okay…”
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In all things, I give thanks, including for the priceless gift of a good spouse and helper. I will not allow the devil, pride, pressures of life, and ignorance direct, and lead me astray.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me your wisdom to be a good partner to my future spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Do you see what we’ve got? An unshakable kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander. –Hebrews 12:28 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make up your mind to stand strong in God
Expecting your spouse to change overnight will leave you heavily disappointed. It is entirely different if either spouse is an unbeliever; change in that sense is possible and can be anytime.
But when we talk about habits, attitudes, and behavioral patterns it can take a while.
Take note of these few points:
1. Patience
You will need to exercise patience! It takes a while. Let’s assume your spouse was twenty-five years old by the time you got married. It means that he or she has been formed into a certain mold for twenty-five years. Coming into marriage and expecting a quick change because you sermonized or lectured him or her will not make a change in a few days, expecting a quick change, may leave you disappointed.
Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud… -1Corinthians 13:4 (CEV)
I think in marriages, you always get to understand that virtue called “long-suffering!”
2. Don’t Lecture Or Sermonize
Your lectures and long talks do nothing at the end of the day; it only turns you into a nag, a domineering spouse, and an impatient spouse.
Between a husband and a wife, one will talk more than the other; don’t ever make the mistake of thinking your ability to package words is effective on your spouse.
It is even much more annoying and irritatingly hilarious if your spouse is a phlegmatic who doesn’t want trouble; he or she will allow you to talk and talk, and then will promise you there is change, only so that you can stop talking!
Only to do the very thing you’ve been talking about again!
You feel like escaping from the marriage, but sorry, you are hooked already!
Trust God that things will get better.
3. Pray Rather Than Talk And Talk
Your most effective and sure way to create any change is to pray. Take it to God and stop wearing yourself out.
Try and think about it, you’ve been complaining about something for seven years, yet no change! and you keep complaining!
Don’t you think in seven years, your spouse has disconnected himself or herself from your complaints?
He or she has mastered the art of closing the gate of his heart; you are only talking to the ears!
It does nothing and it would do nothing!
Pray about it!
4. Get Back Into Dating Mode
You used to love yourselves! You used to overlook and ignore some things you are bitterly complaining about now. What happened?
You need to get back into that romantic mode and love each other again rather than thinking your spouse is the problem of your family!
Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. -1Corinthians 13:7 (CEV)
Be supportive, be hopeful, and trust again. Cast your cares unto Jesus and stop focusing on the flaws of your spouse.
Get back into appreciating him or her in their area of strength.
I pray that God will help you need and send the very help you need in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love my spouse again
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, and never gives up. -1Corinthians 13:7 (GW)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read Myles Munroe’s book on the Myth of Singleness
