How To Navigate Quarrels in Relationships

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How To Navigate Quarrels in Relationships

1. Set Boundaries Around Arguments

While addressing concerns is healthy, avoid letting quarrels spiral into harmful behaviors like name-calling, yelling, or bringing up past grievances.

Ephesians 4:29 instructs, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.”

Solution: 
Agree on ground rules for handling disagreements, such as taking breaks if emotions get too heated or refusing to use hurtful language. Respect each other’s boundaries during tense moments.

2. Focus on the Big Picture

During the falling-in-love stage, it’s important to evaluate whether the person shares your core values and long-term goals. Small conflicts shouldn’t overshadow the bigger question: Are you compatible overall?

Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”

Solution: 
If the issue is minor (e.g., preferences or habits), choose to overlook it and focus on shared priorities. Save energy for addressing significant red flags that could impact your future together.

3. Practice Empathy and Understanding

Conflicts often stem from feeling misunderstood or unheard. Practice putting yourself in the other person’s shoes to see things from their perspective.

Romans 12:15 encourages us to “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

Solution: 
Validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully agree. Saying something like, “I understand why you’d feel that way,” can diffuse tension and create space for resolution.

4. Seek Wise Counsel When Needed

Sometimes, external input can provide clarity during recurring or complex conflicts. Trusted mentors, pastors, or counselors can offer objective guidance rooted in biblical principles.

Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.”

Solution: 
Don’t hesitate to seek godly advice if a disagreement feels unresolved or reveals deeper compatibility issues. A neutral perspective can help both parties gain insight.

Tomorrow, I will talk about more ways to handle quarrels in relationships.