SINGLES-Three Things You Can Do In Your Relationship
When I started courtship with my wife years ago (1996), it was on the campus. We lived in the same compound, it was a very large one with several buildings there and there was the guy’s section and ladies’ section. So I had the opportunity of going over to her hostel and then we will walk down to the fellowship venue.
Immediately, I discovered that she did her things very slowly. This aggravated me because I was quick in doing everything. At the time, I had not read any books on temperaments and didn’t know that our differences were to balance out each other.
I started complaining and what delivered me was the book, Spirit-filled temperament. Your partner or spouse is not meant to be like you. What do you think the world would be like if everybody was like you?
Today, we are still very different in the ways we do things. I wake up with a start, with my eyes bright and my feet landing on the floor, ready to go.
My wife wakes up gradually, in stages thinking and sorting out her day, meditating and praying before her feet hit the floor. Interestingly, our first and last boys are like her. Our second boy is like me, he wakes up with a start. The catch is that you must accept your differences, work on your weaknesses and maximize your strength.
When two people come together in a relationship or courtship, there will always be issues. This is largely due to the fact that opposite attracts and of course, different backgrounds.
In marriage, where two people are living together, each with his or her ways of doing things, there will always be issues in relationships and marriage.
There will always be challenges. There will always be something to sort, discuss, solve or resolve. When two people live together, this is expected. It is for this reason that communication becomes important in any relationship and marriage.
Once communication becomes defective, there will be assumptions, and an assumption is the lowest form of knowledge, so naturally, there will be wrong conclusions. The wisdom then is to keep on talking and never keep malice with your, fiancée or friends.
1. There will be problems to SOLVE.
It simply means to find the solution to a problem or question. For example, attitudinal tendencies can become problems. There can be attitudes that have been picked up while your fiancé/ fiancée is growing up. These can form into habits that can become lifestyles.
Once there is a negative attitude, then you simply have a negative lifestyle. What do you do with such? You are to confront and solve, not deny or pretend that they are not there. Never ignore a bad attitude, solve it head-on.
2. There will be quarrels to RESOLVE.
To resolve means to reach a conclusion after a discussion or deliberation. With two different people in a relationship, there will be disagreements. But as Papa Kenneth Hagin said, you can disagree to agree! Resolve every disagreement.
Remember you are to complement each other not compete. Don’t bite or attack each other lest you swallow up yourselves, so warns the scripture. Don’t internalize unnecessarily, or else there will be an explosion one day. Resolve issues quickly, talk over them and avoid strife.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused. I have the mind of Christ.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in my inner man to do the impossible this year.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY True wisdom and real power belong to God; from him we learn how to live, and also what to live for. –Job 12:13 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Solve and resolve every issue in your relationship.
We are just a few weeks to the next half of the year, I know that there are things you wish had happened before now, but I know there are still unanswered prayers.
This morning, I bring you a word from the Lord. God yet surprise you this year!
Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and the treader of grapes him that soweth seed; and the mountains shall drop sweet wine, and all the hills shall melt. –Amos 9:13 (KJV)
God can still give that astounding result. This year God can still surprise you in your relationship. This is the year that God will establish you in His plans in the area of relationship.
I want you to go into the remaining half of this year with renewed hope, and vigour. I want your faith to be strong because it is still your year!
I want you to forget about past unpleasant experiences and trust God for the new because he can surpass your expectations!
I want you to read the above verses in The Message translation!
“Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” GOD’s Decree. “Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once–and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. –Amos 9:13 (MSG)
Yes, I come in the name of the Lord and in the power of the Spirit this morning to declare to you that things are going to happen so fast….yes because it is your year to pursue, overtake, and recover all without fail. It is a year wherein you will cease in your own strength and tap into the synergy between the humane and the divine!
Things will happen so fast, that your head will swim! My God! You won’t be able to keep up! As you are sharing one testimony, another has happened. God will visit you like never before. He will reward your faithfulness. The time to favour you is now, yea, it is the set time.
Good things will be happening at once. In the area of relationships, academics, jobs, careers, open doors and so on…grace heaped on grace…
Everywhere you look and turn into…blessings!
Believe it! Don’t doubt it. When you take God’s word as it is and run with it, it becomes your experience, because His words are so powerful!
I returned and saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong… -Ecclesiastic 9:11 (AMP)
It is not about your intellectual prowess or your business acumen; it is about the favour of God upon your life.
Thank God for the dignity of labour, but there is a difference between favour and labour!
God’s favour will distinguish you. It will set you apart.
God will favour you! He will satisfy you with His favour!
Decide that your life will be different in the remaining half of the year! Decide to enjoy all that God has for you by staying away from any form of sin and disobedience. Let your obedience be fulfilled so that the fullness of His blessings can become yours!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY This year will be a great and fulfilling year for me. I will succeed this year in Jesus name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, I dedicate the rest of this year to you in Jesus name, and I pray that all your plans and purposes for me this year come to pass in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, and rivers in the badlands. –Isaiah 43:19 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray, Praise, and Set Goals.
SINGLES-How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
You see, the kingdom of God is perpetuated, lived, and enjoyed on the platform of consistency. It is not about what you have been doing, it is about how you have been consistent!
For example, you give today, but you stop tomorrow. Then you give again, and then you refrain. You pay your tithe for three months and then you miss the next two months.
That will not work because of unsteadiness. You must make up your mind and set your face like a flint. Yes, when you find yourself in sexual sin, and you repent genuinely, God will forgive you. But then if you keep going back to the same sin habitually, you are not being sincere and that could affect a whole lot of things.
You read your Bible for days only to miss it for some days. That is what is called inconsistency and it is a ‘waster’ of time and energy because all done in unsteadiness is more or less wasted.
Make up your mind to be steady this year. Don’t be like Reuben who thought the blessings of God is automatic, had the effrontery to take his father’s wife to bed, but at the end of the day lost his place in destiny!
I want you to succeed this year. I want all our members on KHC to succeed and I pray for you all the time, wherever you are around the world. I have a passion that you make it and do it right.
I have a passion to see your destiny bloom forth, and that is why I keep paying the price from my end here to bring you the fresh word of the living God every morning, which if you adhere to is guaranteed to see you through and keep you unstained. The word of God is that powerful!
That is why I admonish you this morning, I beseech you with the strength of my call, be consistent this year.
My desire is that you prosper and that you shine and excel in your chosen field. Don’t stop reading your Bible daily. Don’t stop praying daily. Start from this day onward.
Don’t go back into sin. If there is any sexual weakness, confront it and master it because sin shall not have dominion over you! Pay the price for your destiny! You will rejoice at the end of the day! How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
I see God’s help being made available for you as you make up your mind. Even now, I can sense fresh divine energy for you as you make a resolve this morning. I know you can sense the same thing because there is no distance in the spirit realm.
You can leave that sexual sin. You can leave those bad friends. You can stop seeing that man. You can stop seeing that lady. You can decide today. You can take charge of your destiny! You can make up your mind as Joseph did!
Be rejuvenated this day! Be freshened anew. Like the dew of heaven, it settles on you today as you make up your mind! Peace of God over you now, Shalom! Nothing missing, nothing broken! How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am steady. I am consistent.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to be consistent.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Reuben, you’re my firstborn, my strength, first proof of my manhood, at the top in honor and at the top in power, But like a bucket of water spilled, you’ll be at the top no more, Because you climbed into your father’s marriage bed, mounting that couch, and you defiled it. –Genesis 49: 3-4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘consistency’
SINGLES-How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
What is the number one enemy you should fight and resist in the remaining half of the year? It is instability!
In the scripture below, Reuben who happened to be Jacobs’ first son was described in such a way as to conclude that a great destiny lies with him.
Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power: –Genesis 49:3 (KJV)
The Amplified version puts it this way:
Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the beginning (the firstfruits) of my manly strength and vigor; [your birthright gave you] the preeminence in dignity and the preeminence in power. –Genesis 49: 3 (AMP)
Those adjectives show he is a man that has been endowed and endued with greatness by virtue of his position in the family. He is a man fortified for the future, with everything he needs to succeed at his beck and call.
However, the next statement in Jacob’s mouth is a complete contradiction of the aforementioned qualities. It was almost bordering on a curse, a weakness of his that led him into an abomination and then the damning consequence of his transgression;
Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch. –Genesis 49: 4 (KJV)
Another translation puts it this way:
But you are as unsteady as water. So you won’t be first anymore. You had sex with your father’s concubine in his bed. You lay on his couch and made it ‘unclean.’–Genesis 49: 4 (NIV)
You see, Reuben committed a sexual sin. But that is not even what I want you to see. I want you to see the root of it all and How To Prevent Instability in Relationships. Why would he go and do something like that?
Why would a young girl be double dating? Why would a respected woman stoop low to sleep with her subordinate? Why would a choir leader in church sleep with choir members in church?
Reuben had a weakness he refused to confront. He had an attitude to life that was wrong and yet he didn’t deal with it until the attitude pushed him into dangerous terrains.
It is a weakness of being unstable or being unsteady!
It is the number one enemy to fight in the remaining half of the year if you notice such in your life. Why is this so?
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am steady. I am consistent.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to be consistent.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Reuben, you’re my firstborn, my strength, first proof of my manhood, at the top in honor and at the top in power, But like a bucket of water spilled, you’ll be at the top no more, Because you climbed into your father’s marriage bed, mounting that couch, and you defiled it. –Genesis 49: 3-4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘consistency’
Eventually, one day came and God brought out Joseph from the prison. He did not just bring him out, He became a ruler!
When he was called, he did something.
Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they brought him hastily out of the dungeon: and he shaved himself, and changed his raiment, and came in unto Pharaoh. –Genesis 41:14 (KJV)
Learn to dress for your future address as Joseph did. Ladies, learn to dress well without being seductive. Don’t be overly spiritual and be careless with your dressing. The fact is that men are moved by sight, even the very spiritual guys. So learn to dress well.
Wear clothes that fit you very well. Joseph shaved and changed his raiment in order to prepare for where God is taking him. Before you complain that there is no husband, go and fix that hair, dress well and be particular about your appearance.
6. Finally, Joseph was a forgiver!
He forgave his brothers. He didn’t try to fix them or deal with them.
Now, therefore, be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. –Genesis 45:5 (KJV)
He allowed the overall plan of God to gain ascendancy over hurts and past wounds. If your relationship, and inevitably marriage will work, you must be a quick forgiver. An unforgiving spirit can hinder you and stop God’s blessings in your life.
The one that violated you while you were little, the one that raped you, the one that took advantage of you, the one that deceived you, the one that used you and dumped you, the one that collected your money and later dumped you, the one that jilted you, the one that was double dating with you, the one that really hurt you badly, the one that slowed down your education.
The one that impregnated you and denied he never met you, the one that ditched you for a richer person, the one you sponsored out of the country and then forgot about you, the one that took your money and your esteem away, the one that stole your dignity, the one that robbed you of your innocence, the one that forcefully violated you, the one that toyed with your emotions, the one that you trusted as a pastor but manipulated you….the list goes on…forgive all of them!
Why forgive? Four reasons:
a. So that God in heaven will also forgive you.
b. So that your heart can be unclogged and you can move on.
c. So that your prayers can be answered.
d. So that the adversity will eventually become an advantage!
Mention their names, and say, so so… I forgive you!
That seems difficult, but do it! That is how to move forward in life. Let go and let God!
I pray for you this morning that God will help you to forgive those you need to forgive! Free yourself. Let your soul escape like a bird out of the snare of the fowler.
If you need to cry to do that, please do, but forgive! God will wipe your tears away and you will forget the shame of your youth!More Lessons From The Life of Joseph
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I forgive. I am a forgiver! I will not clog my heart with hurts and bitterness
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray and ask God to give the grace to be a quick forgiver
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. –Genesis 45:8 (KJV)
This morning, we are looking at more things singles can learn from the life of Joseph
4. Joseph would not let go of his dream
Joseph held on to his dream despite contradictory circumstances. He refused to give up on God. He had hope. He knew God would not let him down!
I will like you to know this morning that your dreams will still come to pass. Never let go! God’s words will never fall to the ground and He is never too late. Hold on to the horns of the altar and refuse to resign to fate! He that has promised you is also faithful to bring it to pass!
5. Joseph was in the prison but the prison was not in him!
It is one thing to be bound physically, it is another thing to also be bound within! There are many people who are not imprisoned physically but are chained within. There are many people who are walking free but are actually in prison and there are people who are imprisoned but are free within!
Joseph never allowed the prison to enter him. He still went ahead and interpreted a dream for someone in the prison which was to be an act that would later facilitate his exit from the prison. That is something Singles Can Learn From Joseph
Joseph never allowed bitterness and offense to which he had every reason to succumb. He was still trying to help out others with the intent he became the leader in the prison. Despite that he has been sentenced to a special maximum prison where the king’s offenders were kept with no hope of coming out, he did not get bitter!
Never get bitter at God for any reason. You cannot fight your maker and win. You cannot blame God for any woes. God is not mocked. Bitterness at God will only worsen the situation
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I forgive. I am a forgiver! I will not clog my heart with hurts and bitterness
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray and ask God to give the grace to be a quick forgiver
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 45:8 (KJV) So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.
This is a major one! He was offered free intercourse, but he ran away! He refused to get bitter about God because of his experiences and did not allow depression and conflicting emotions to push him into the clutches of available compromise with Potiphar’s wife!
(7) As time went on, his master’s wife became infatuated with Joseph and one day said, “Sleep with me.”(8) He wouldn’t do it. He said to his master’s wife, “Look, with me here, my master doesn’t give a second thought to anything that goes on here–he’s put me in charge of everything he owns.(9) He treats me as an equal. The only thing he hasn’t turned over to me is you. You’re his wife, after all! How could I violate his trust and sin against God?”(10) She pestered him day after day after day, but he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her.(11) On one of these days he came to the house to do his work and none of the household servants happened to be there.(12) She grabbed him by his cloak, saying, “Sleep with me!” He left his coat in her hand and ran out of the house. – Gen 39:7-12 MSG
Joseph said; I cannot sin against God! He had the fear of God. This is one of the reasons he became the greatest in Egypt! From prison to a ruler! What Singles Can Learn From Joseph
You see, righteousness exalts! Never ever allow the devil to tell you that you are missing out because you are a child of God. Never envy those who don’t have a relationship with God. David made that mistake too and he envied unbelievers, but he said when he got into God’s presence, then he understood their ends.
Joseph ran away! This is what you do in the face of sexual compromise! That is not the time to start speaking in tongues when he or she has removed his or her clothes! Run away! Flee! That is why God created legs for you!
Don’t come around and say somebody seduced you. Run! Five minutes before the compromise, you will always know what is about to happen. Don’t wait there trying to see what will happen when all the angels have already fled so that their eyes will not behold evil!
What else will happen between a guy and a lady alone in the room, with no light and no candles around 9.00 pm? Run! That is how to preserve your destiny! Run! That is how to fulfill your destiny! Run! Pack out of the house, you are not yet married! Run away because your destiny is greater than the compromise you are entangled with! Free yourself by God’s Spirit and run!
Take a cue from Joseph. But if I leave him, he won’t give me money again! If I leave him, he won’t pay my school fees again, and so on and so forth. That was also the place Joseph found himself. He ran away, and then seemed to land in the prison! But God did not leave him and that is the important thing. Righteousness will eventually exalt you and give you a better platform than exchanging your body for some paltry sums!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a dreamer. I will not stop dreaming!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the strength to say No in the face of compromise
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 KJV And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
Well, some people would say he was careless and that if he had hidden his dream, he would not have gone through the ordeals of the pit and then being sold into slavery.
However, I also want you to know that if he had not verbalized his dream, he might not have been sold into slavery and he might not have been transported into Egypt from where he eventually fulfilled his destiny! Talk about God using perceived enemies to fulfill His counsel over your life!
Hear me well this morning! God is using some of the people you hate right now and you think don’t like you to achieve His overall plans for your life! In the end, you will see how everything will eventually add up! Before you fight the person that jilted you, why don’t you wait for the unveiling of the new person God is bringing your way? You will thank him or her later for breaking your heart!
Learn to talk faith and not doubt. Learn to say what you want God to do and not what you are going through in your relationship or as singles. It is a spiritual principle! Say what you will like to happen and not just what has happened or what is happening!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a dreamer. I will not stop dreaming!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the strength to say No in the face of compromise
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 KJV And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
We all know the story of Joseph and I will like to bring out some salient truths by the Spirit of God as it relates to relationships and marriage.
What God did in the life of Joseph is what you could call a ‘crazy miracle.’ God did not just make him an important man in Egypt, a strange land, he actually became a father unto Pharaoh!
It is like God making you a father unto the King of Dubai! It is as crazy as that! How did Joseph get there? What kind of a person is he?
(4) And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt. (5) Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. (6) For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest. (7) And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.(8) So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt. – Gen 45:4-8 KJV
Here are things to learn
1. Joseph was a dreamer
Never stop dreaming about your life and future. After his first dream, the scripture says that he dreamt yet another dream! Don’t stop visualizing where you want God to take you to or where He has shown you that He is taking you to.
Keep hope alive! It is not out of place to visualize and pray about the kind of relationship, marriage, and home you will like to have. Don’t let the experiences of relatives and your environment suffocate or kill your dream. That nobody has enjoyed his marriage in your family does not mean that would be your experience! No!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a dreamer. I will not stop dreaming!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the strength to say No in the face of compromise
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 39:2 KJV And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man, and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian.
There is something about a person that is willing to wait. He wanted something more spiritual and enduring than some passing fleeting moment of physical pleasure or satisfaction.
He is not about to lose his testimony because he saw a girl that dressed somehow. He is not about to kick at the pricks because of lack of self-control. He is not about to jeopardize the salvation of his soul because of some pleasure!
You see, it is about value! She is not about to sleep with a man because of some money! She is not about to sell her body in exchange for school fees! The list goes on and on!
Esau syndrome is saying you cannot wait till marriage before having intercourse. Esau syndrome is sleeping with an Ex or with a colleague for whatever reason. Esau’s syndrome is sleeping with men in exchange for money to meet your needs instead of trusting God to meet your needs. Esau syndrome is sleeping with your boss to secure a position.
Verse 17 says “For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.”
May we not be rejected when it comes to the fullness of God’s blessings! May our eyes be open to see the consequences of some actions that we feel do not matter. May we not exchange God’s blessings, support, and favour for some few minutes of pleasure that is sure to bring regrets later.
Before you are caught up in some guilt this morning over some things you might have done wrong, I want you to know that in God there is a place for repentance and restoration. That is the beauty of serving God. Jesus paid the price for all your sins, and you stand forgiven if you can embrace God’s love.
And that is what I want you to do rather than get into some pity party. Also, don’t allow the devil to tell you that it is too late or that you are too far gone. God is a rewriter of destinies, a re-molder of lives, and the one that can make you forget the shame of your youth! He is the one that can give you double joy for every trouble you have been through! Run to Him now!
I pray for you that you will not fail of the grace of God. God’s favour will work for you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive the grace to wait for you
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God’s Spirit will help you to live right.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 25:32 AMP Esau said, See here, I am at the point of death; what good can this birthright do me?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place or thing that is influencing you negatively.
As I waited on God on what to write on this morning, the Spirit of God dropped this phrase in my spirit: “Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau…”
Let’s see the reference.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. – Heb 12:15-17 KJV
The first time I have seen this scripture, my immediate question was, “Did Esau ever commit the sin of fornication? No! What he did was that he sold his birthright, and yet the Bible likened him to a fornicator or a profane person.
How was Esau profane? Let’s look at the Message translation.
Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. – Heb 12:16 MSG
Esau traded away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. This is the same thing a fornicator or a profane person does.
He trades away eternity for a few minutes. He disregards the consequences of his actions just to satisfy some rush of adrenaline at the moment.
That is Esau’s syndrome. That is fornication. That is profanity.
Esau was hungry when he came back from hunting. He probably had some dead animal he brought, but the moment he set eyes on the pottage, he could not WAIT!
And that is it. WAITING!
Waiting is powerful! If he could wait, he would not have traded his birthright! Jacob too was hungry! That was why he was cooking in the first place. But he could wait for what he wanted! When a man is profane, he will always lose something valuable to another man that is upright. If Esau could wait, he could have prepared what he brought or go cook his own pottage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive the grace to wait for you
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God’s Spirit will help you to live right.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 25:32 AMP Esau said, See here, I am at the point of death; what good can this birthright do me?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
If you are in courtship, be careful. Don’t let the devil trap you. The raging fire in your body will not be doused with kissing; it will only rekindle it until you want to explore more!
In the scripture, When Joab wanted to kill Amasa, he deceived him with a kiss!
And Joab said to Amasa, Art thou in health, my brother? And Joab took Amasa by the beard with the right hand to kiss him. But Amasa took no heed to the sword that was in Joab’s hand: so he smote him therewith in the fifth rib, and shed out his bowels to the ground, and struck him not again; and he died. So Joab and Abishai his brother pursued after Sheba the son of Bichri. – 2Sa 20:9-10 KJV
Yes, it will look harmless. It will sound logical. But it can destroy destinies.
Jesus Christ was betrayed with a kiss!
But Jesus said unto him, Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss? – Luk 22:48 KJV
Isn’t something inappropriate with a lady who is leading the church in worship, but who the previous night had been in an intense kissing session with the brother who led opening prayer that same morning?
Live right, for God is not mocked!
There is nothing wrong with a light hug. There is nothing wrong with a light peck by the cheek if that was how you were raised up, but it is better to just stay away! But the problem is will you stop at that stage? Your body will crave more and if you lack self-control, you will yield to it. There are some brothers that can’t talk to a lady unless they touch her or place their hands on her shoulder. Must they tap current before they can talk?
That kissing, touching, and petting you do behind doors will get you into trouble sooner than you think if you don’t put your feet down now. Don’t dabble into those terrains because the song afterward is always, ‘we didn’t want to go all the way,’ but the mistake would have been made.
Resolve to do it right and you will enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings.
I pray God gives you more understanding and help you to stop every form of compromise!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
Continued from yesterday…
This is because it will always lead to something else! What you did the last time will not satisfy you the next time you meet, and before you know it, there will be a compromise.
If you are kissing someone who is not your wife somewhere and I bump into you as your pastor, what will happen? You will quickly apologize. Why? You are doing something out of place.
On the other hand, if I am kissing my wife somewhere and you bump into us, it is still you that will apologize because you are interrupting us and what we are doing is in place!
I can’t walk into a place now and then you grab my wife to kiss her and then tell me you are greeting her. I will remove my suit and fight you!
But candidly speaking, you may not find any scripture in the Bible that says kissing is a sin, but it will surely lead you into sin because of the law of progression. It is better to stay off.
After marriage, if you decide to kiss your spouse for a whole day non-stop, God will not frown at it, because your bodies belong to each other.
Don’t be deceived that since God says not to fornicate, kissing must then be a way out to relieve pressures!
You cannot kiss strangers you met two hours ago all in the name of expressing your love. The power of life and death lies in your mouth, so says the scriptures. You want to be careful then with whom you get entangled and lock that mouth with!
There are people you kiss and destinies are swallowed up! There are strange lips all over the place and that is why it is important you follow God’s order. I am a Pastor for close to twenty-five years and I can tell you my eyes have seen a little and my ears have heard enough to make them tingle.
Ladies, you cannot submit your lips to a guy as if you are submitting a sheet of paper in the examination hall. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Guard it. If the guy or the lady is hungry, must it be your lips that would be eaten? Honour yourself and honour God’s word so that God will honour you.
I have seen a guy who only kissed someone he met and he became mentally unstable from then. I have had to pray for a lady who practically lost her mind because of sexual sin!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
A few days ago, on one of our WhatsApp platforms, a question was raised on the subject of kissing and we had several interesting comments. By the way, if you are single and yet to join our discussion hub on WhatsApp, do so HERE. There are discussions, questions, and answers you can learn from on a daily basis.
I have been asked several times about this issue. A lot of people believe there is nothing wrong with kissing. In fact, most people believe it is godly. The question is, ‘is it right or wrong?’
Before, I answer the question; let us look at the scripture that is often quoted to justify kissing in relationships.
Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. – Rom 16:16 KJV
All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. – 1Co 16:20 KJV
Greet one another with an holy kiss. – 2Co 13:12 KJV
Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss. – 1Th 5:26 KJV
From the above scriptures, it looks like a kiss is not a sin, and sincerely, in the context of the above scriptures, it is not a sin.
What is the above context? It is a cultural context. A Jewish kiss is a form of greetings in those days. Nothing more! See an example here:
And his father Isaac said unto him, Come near now, and kiss me, my son. – Gen 27:26 KJV
The issue with us in this part of the world is that we don’t greet with a kiss. You can’t lock your lips with your fiancée for over thirty minutes and then turn around to say you’ve just been greeting her! What kind of greeting was that? What type of greeting were you doing that your heartbeats accelerated and your hands got busy?
The scripture above says to greet one another with a holy kiss. Now, the Jewish kiss may be holy, but I am not sure that the Nigerian kiss is holy!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
It will probably bring more. You have one more life to manage. If you cannot manage yours and you venture into marriage, it will be a disaster. When the children start coming, there will be more pressure. Learn to take pressures head-on by casting your care on Jesus and refusing to worry as the scripture advises.
5. Marriage is not all about lovemaking.
Ask somebody who is married. Yes, sexual intercourse is a marital glue, a healing balm in the soul for couples, and a blessing that keeps couples together. But it is not like you think intercourse in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Average couples actually make love twice or thrice in a week. However, the more frequent it is for married couples, the better for them.
6. Your spouse will neither be a magician nor is he the Holy Spirit.
He will be a human being with his own issues. You will always need God. He might be very anointed on the pulpit and filled with God’s glory while she is ministering in the choir, but at home, he or she is a human being with all the weaknesses complete. Learn to separate the office or position of your spouse from his or her person at home.
7. Marriage is not all about kisses, flowers, cinemas, cakes, chocolates, and vacations alone.
It is about cooking, pampers, crying babies, working, paying school fees, and so on. It is about budgets, plans, strategies, and divine wisdom. It is about submission to your husband who you sometimes think is hard, insensitive, and unloving. It is about loving your wife who you sometimes think is stubborn, does not want to be corrected, and can nag from morning till the next day. Few Things Marriage Will Not Do For You
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I keep on praying over my relationship in season and out of season.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your grace rest upon my relationship in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 4:6 KJVBe careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be a happy single
We live in a dissatisfied generation. Those who are short in height wished they were taller. The white is tanning their bodies trying to get dark, the blacks are bleaching trying to get white. The young are tinting their hair white, the old are dyeing their hair black.
Singles are posing with wedding ring, those married forget to wear it, those with beards are shaving off, those with none are using methylated spirit to grow some!
Today, I have a story to tell. Are you ready for it? Here we go. Once upon a time, (time – time), when I was single, I looked forward to marriage. Now that I am married, I missed the time I was single! End of story!
Singles will hardly believe that because all in their mind is to get married so that everything can change. I have been happily married for twenty two years and here are a few things I have learned that might bless you if you are still single.
1. Marriage will not make you happier.
Be happy before marriage. Marriage has no power in itself beyond the two people involved.
2. Marriage will not change you.
Change begins inwardly. Marriage is not a change agent. Marriage will not improve your attitudes, it will expose them. Marriage does not eliminate your weaknesses, it will amplify them. Start working on your attitudes and weaknesses before marriage.
3. Marriage will not cure loneliness.
There are several married people who have their spouses with them by the second, but are extremely lonely. Loneliness is more of a state of mind than availability of people around you.
The loneliest people in the world are sometimes the ones with large number of fans and crowd around them. Only God’s word can cure the root cause of loneliness. Few Things Marriage Will Not Do For You
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I keep on praying over my relationship in season and out of season.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your grace rest upon my relationship in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 4:6 KJVBe careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be a happy Single
SINGLES – Three Types Of Men Ladies Need To Know About
Continued from yesterday…
2 SCAVENGERS
They capitalize on the weaknesses of ladies with low self esteem. They weaken already weak ladies. They take advantage of their weaknesses.
They have a way of locating needy ladies and low self esteem ladies who will offer their body endlessly in order to get love which will forever remain elusive.
The scavenger is not looking for love or romance, he is simply looking for intercourse, and he will feign love and care to get what he wants. The day he stops getting that, he moves on, and the lady is left heartbroken.
What the scavenger does not know is that life is all about seed, time and harvest! He has unwittingly sown bad seeds and the harvest will spring up in time.
How do you avoid a scavenger? Learn new creation realities. Know who you are in Christ. Meditate on his word and develop God-confidence.
What do you do as a single if you find yourself here? Stop offering your body! Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. Start over and get out of all ungodly relationships
3 GARDENERS
These are the real men and I know this is where you belong! They cultivate their women, make them blossom, fruitful and bring out the best in them.
Ladies, you are like a fruitful vine, tender, yet full of great potentials. You have the responsibility of watching where and who plants you.
The environment (relationship) you agree to get involved with determines whether you will blossom or not.
Is the guy you are going out with a hunter? Is he always draining you financially, telling you it’s ok, promising to marry you? Is he a scavenger? He knows your story of abuse, low self esteem, that you have been deflowered and he feels he is the next person to sleep with you?
Make sure you do not enter into a relationship until you can vouch that the guy is a ‘gardener’, ‘a real man’, a ‘groom’, someone who will cultivate you, lead you and take you on a journey of self discovery and self confidence.
You can do it by God’s grace, if you trust and seek his help.
Always remember this, the wisdom you need to resolve the present issue lies with God.
I pray for you this day that God will surround you with His love.
Ladies, you will blossom in Jesus name. You will burst forth with full manifestation of your gifting in Jesus name.
Men, receive grace and wisdom to be the best that God has called you to be over your wife and your home! Three Types Of Men Ladies Need To Know About
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall into the hands of a hunter or scavenger. I am a a fruitful vine.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father I receive help to be all you desire me to be. I refuse to be the object of abuse of any man.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY ‘Thy wife shall be like a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house’ Ps.128:3
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Get yourself out of any abusive relationship. Seek advice and help where necessary.
SINGLES – three types of men ladies need to know about.
1. HUNTERS
They use ladies for their own satisfaction or consumption. They are skilled at searching for beautiful but ignorant and naive ladies. They watch out for rich ladies to service their financial needs. They are in it for what they can get out of the lady.
They look out for ladies living abroad or who have foreign citizenship, who works in juicy places like the Oil and Gas sector to capitalize on.
This is a wrong motive for a relationship and it will always come with its attendant consequences. What the hunter does not know is that he cannot be smarter than God. He is soon consumed in his own lust.
Hunters are manipulators, their headlight is fixed and when they focus on potential prey, they have a way of hypnotizing them.
How do you avoid a hunter?
Stay in God’s word and always seek his face before you take any decision.
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped. –Psalms 124:7 (KJV)
What do you do as a single if you find yourself in this kind of relationship?
Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler. –Proverbs 6:5 (KJV)
Disconnect! A relationship is not by force, but by choice. You have the power to choose.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall into the hands of a hunter or scavenger. I am a fruitful vine.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I refuse to be the object of abuse by any man. I ask that you help our men occupy their place in destiny, Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler. –Proverbs 6:5 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Get yourself out of any abusive relationship
SINGLES – Practical Tips To Make Your Fiancée Happy – Part 2
Continued from yesterday…
4. Respect;
As singles, treat her with respect. Don’t ask for sexual intercourse, for that will be asking her to compromise her virtue, and that is not respect. Protect her, and she would love you dearly. Treat her with dignity and you will have her heart and make her happy.
5. Abuse;
Singles ladies, if you are in a relationship and you are not being treated well, don’t hesitate to back out. It is your life and it is your decision. Don’t stay in a relationship because of self-pity. If you are being verbally abused or physically abused, don’t ever think he will change after marriage; it’s really going to get worse. A word is enough for the wise. Don’t walk blindly into a marriage when you can see all the wrong symptoms.
Don’t go into a marriage with a man who tells you he will quit dating other girlfriends after marriage. If he can have them now, he will keep having them. Have a good self esteem and trust God to give you the best. Don’t marry a man or woman who doesn’t love God and who does not value God. That would be a costly mistake. It is better to end such relationships. A broken heart is still better than a broken life.
Selah!
For you reveling in sin because of ungodly affairs, I pray that God will give you the energy to end that relationship!
For those whose relationships are of God, I pray for you this day that God will give you the wisdom to make that relationship work. Practical Tips To Make Your Fiancée Happy
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner and to love him/her more and make him/her happy.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I break free from all wrong mindsets about marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. (Mal 2:15 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Surprise your partner today. That does not include kissing, petting, sex etc. Reserve those till after marriage.
SINGLES – Practical Tips To Make Your Fiancée Happy
George who is in courtship with Lucy is frustrated. Lucy is always vacillating between two extreme emotions and poor George is at a loss on how to make her happy. If I can be experiencing this before marriage, what will happen after? George reasoned.
As a single in courtship, how do you make her happy?
1. Communicate;
It is important you keep in touch daily especially if you are not in the same place. If this all-important communication is not there, trust me, there will be issues coming up from time to time.
2. Apologize;
As singles, stop being egocentric and learn the art of apologizing quickly both ways. Don’t let your courtship be filled with memories of weeping, feeling down and out. It is not a good seed into your marriage.
3. Decisions;
As singles, take decisions together and don’t let her feel you are the superman that can do all things. If she relaxes and you run the relationship all by yourself, she would get used to that style and the help you ought to get from her when you are down will not be there. Don’t muffle her.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner and to love him/her more.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I break free from all wrong mindsets about marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. (Mal 2:15 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Surprise your partner today. That does not include kissing, petting, sex etc. Reserve those till after marriage.
