Love Is a Decision, Not a Feeling

Love Is a Decision, Not a Feeling

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Love Is a Decision, Not a Feeling

Some days, love feels like butterflies. Other days, it feels like a sacrifice. If you think godly love is just about how you feel, you’ll walk away the moment the feelings fade.

The truth is, love that lasts is not always powered by emotion; it’s powered by intention.

Feelings come and go. They rise and fall with mood, stress, seasons, and even hormones. But real love, the kind God talks about, is deeper than that. It shows up when it’s hard. It stays when it’s uncomfortable. It chooses even when it doesn’t feel like it.

1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t say love is a feeling. It says love is patient, kind, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Those aren’t emotions. They’re decisions. Daily decisions.

You won’t always “feel” in love, and that’s okay. What matters is what you do in those moments. Do you still choose to honor? To forgive? To pray for them? To show up? That’s godly love.

You see, culture tells us to follow our hearts. But God says to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). Feelings are unstable in everything,  especially in relationships.

Even Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross. He prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39), but love made Him stay. Love made Him choose obedience. That’s what godly love looks like. It’s a decision to honor God even when it’s uncomfortable.

Commitment is the only virtue that will take you further than chemistry, so you won’t always wake up with butterflies. I encourage you to choose love, not just when it feels good, but when it reflects Christ.

Shalom!

Five Types of Lovers Who Really Love

Five Types of Lovers Who Really Love

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Five Types of Lovers Who Really Love

Love is multifaceted, and when it’s genuine, it manifests in ways that reflect the heart of God. True love isn’t just about feelings or grand gestures—it’s about consistent, selfless actions that demonstrate care, commitment, and character. Here are five types of lovers who truly embody what it means to love deeply and authentically.

1. The Servant Lover

A servant lover prioritizes the needs of their partner above their own desires. Inspired by Jesus’ example of washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15), this type of lover finds joy in serving and supporting their spouse. Whether it’s cooking a meal, running errands, or simply listening after a long day, they show love through practical acts of kindness. Philippians 2:3-4 captures this mindset perfectly: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” A servant lover builds trust and creates a foundation of mutual respect.

2. The Faithful Lover

Faithfulness is the hallmark of a lover who truly loves. This person remains steadfast through life’s ups and downs, refusing to give up when challenges arise. Ecclesiastes 9:9 encourages husbands to enjoy life with their wives “all the days of this meaningless life” because faithfulness honors both God and the covenant of marriage. The faithful lover keeps their promises, resists temptation, and chooses loyalty even when circumstances are tough. Their unwavering commitment becomes a safe haven for their partner.

3. The Encouraging Lover

An encouraging lover sees the best in their partner and actively affirms their strengths, dreams, and potential. They understand the power of words to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21) and use their speech to inspire confidence and hope. When struggles arise, they remind their spouse of God’s faithfulness and encourage them not to lose heart. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” An encouraging lover empowers their partner to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.

4. The Sacrificial Lover

True love involves sacrifice—a willingness to lay down personal comfort, time, or preferences for the sake of the other. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. But sacrificial love isn’t limited to husbands; anyone can embody this principle. A sacrificial lover puts aside selfishness, forgives readily, and invests deeply in their partner’s well-being. Their love reflects the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, who gave everything for us.

5. The Praying Lover

A praying lover understands the spiritual dimension of love and consistently seeks God on behalf of their relationship. They recognize that human effort alone cannot sustain a marriage or partnership—it requires divine intervention. James 5:16 reminds us, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” By praying together and individually, the praying lover invites God into every aspect of their union. They intercede during trials, thank God for blessings, and ask for wisdom to navigate challenges. This kind of love is rooted in dependence on God and strengthens the bond between partners.

These five types of lovers—servant, faithful, encouraging, sacrificial, and praying—are united by their commitment to loving well. Each one reflects a facet of God’s unconditional love for us, reminding us that true love is less about romance and more about action.

If you want to be a lover who truly loves, consider which of these qualities you can cultivate further in your relationships. Whether you’re married, dating, or preparing for future relationships, strive to model Christlike love in all you do. After all, love is not just something we feel—it’s something we live out daily, leaving an eternal impact on those around us.

As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 beautifully describes, love is patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful. May you embrace these qualities and become the kind of lover who reflects God’s heart to the world.

Five Types of Lovers Who Really Love

Keep Building, Don’t Give Up

Keep Building, Don’t Give Up

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Keep Building, Don’t Give Up

1. Love is Built Daily, Not Just Declared

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV) reminds us that love is patient, kind, and never gives up. Love isn’t a one-time vow—it’s a daily decision. Small acts of kindness, honest conversations, and thoughtful gestures are the bricks that build a lasting relationship.

2. Stay Rooted in God, Not Your Feelings

Feelings can fluctuate, but God’s Word is constant. John 15:5 (NIV) says, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” When the love feels weak, plug into the source—God. Let His love fill you up so you can love your spouse or partner from a place of strength.

3. Choose Grace Over Grudge

No relationship thrives without forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) says, “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Let go of offenses quickly. Don’t let small wounds become wide gaps.

4. Remember Why You Started

When you’re tempted to give up, recall the joy, hope, and purpose that brought you together. Revelation 2:4-5 (NIV) encourages us to return to our “first love.” Revisit old memories, shared goals, and spiritual unity that sparked the relationship.

5. Keep Investing Even When It’s Hard

Love requires continual sowing. Effort, time, prayer, and intentionality are seeds. Proverbs 24:3 (NLT) says, “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.” Relationships grow when you keep watering the garden—even during dry seasons.

Galatians 6:9 (NLT) — “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.

Don’t abandon what God has called you to build. You are not alone—He’s with you every step of the way. Keep loving, keep showing up, keep building. The harvest of a beautiful, enduring relationship is worth it.

How to Trust Again After You’ve Been Let Down

How to Trust Again After You’ve Been Let Down

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How to Trust Again After You’ve Been Let Down

Disappointment has a way of lingering. Sometimes you can feel it right there, heavy and obvious. Other times, it just quietly follows you around, sitting somewhere in your chest, showing up how you hesitate, second-guess, and hold back. And when it is time to trust again, whether it is God, someone else, or even yourself, it can feel like you are being asked to jump with your eyes closed.

You might not feel angry anymore. Maybe you’re just careful, a little guarded. You’ve learned to keep moving forward on the outside, but deep down, the weight of what hurt you is still there. It’s not bitterness, it’s just being careful.

And here’s what matters: God gets it.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

He isn’t rushing you. He isn’t frustrated with you for being slow to trust. God isn’t standing far off, waiting for you to “get over it.” Psalm 34:18 reminds us that God draws close to us when we’re hurting. He sees the part of you that still aches, still wonders, still hopes, yet is afraid to hope all the way.

So, how do you even begin to trust again? It doesn’t happen all at once; it’s not by pretending that you are fine or by ignoring what happened. It starts by letting God into those broken places, and letting Him show you that He is still steady even when life isn’t.

1. Be honest with God.

Tell Him the whole truth not just what sounds good. Be real about how it changed you, about what you still don’t understand. Trust actually starts with honesty, and God is the safest place for it.

2. Separate God from what happened.

Disappointment can make us wonder if God let us down, or if we can even trust ourselves anymore. But sometimes, things just don’t work out, and it’s not a sign that God failed. He’s still trustworthy, even when the outcome is not what you wanted.

3. Let trust be something you practice.

It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Sometimes, trust is just making small choices—praying again, hoping again, showing up, even if you’re still a little scared. Trust grows slowly, with repetition.

4. Remember that healing and answers don’t always show up together.

You may not get all the answers you want, but you can still find peace. Sometimes healing is found in letting go of what you can’t figure out, and letting God carry that weight for you.

If you’re still carrying disappointment, remember this:

You are not too broken to trust again.

Being hurt doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human.

God is still with you.

You can trust again, slowly, fully, deeply, because your safety is in Him, not in any outcome.

Emotional Maturity In Relationships

Emotional Maturity In Relationships

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Emotional Maturity In Relationships

It’s not age that makes a relationship work.

It’s not titles, talent, or even how committed a church worker one is.

There are things that make relationships work, and one of them is emotional maturity.

You can’t build a healthy love life with someone who looks and sounds spiritually deep but emotionally shallow.

Someone who prays in tongues but pouts when corrected.

Or fasts for 21 days, but gives you the silent treatment for 21 days when upset.

Our journey with God ought to influence our walk on the earth!

Emotional maturity is being able to feel deeply without falling apart.

It’s the ability to hear hard truths without turning them into a war.

It’s saying, “I was wrong. I’m sorry,” without needing a three-day warm-up.

Singles, emotional maturity should be high on your list.

Don’t just ask if they are financially stable— ask if they know how to handle anger. If not, you will “chop” money and also “chop” slaps. You will eat spaghetti bolognese and also eat the silent treatment bolognese.

Find out.

Do they apologise or always shift the blame?

Do they shut down when corrected, or do they grow from it?

You’re not marrying their talent or their looks — you’re marrying their emotional patterns.

Married couples, it’s time to grow up emotionally.

Love isn’t just “feeling butterflies” — it’s being emotionally responsible.

Here are some ways to be emotionally mature:

1. Pause before reacting. Just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you should unleash it.

2. Stop keeping score. If you forgive it, don’t resurrect it with every argument.

3. Don’t use emotion to manipulate. Tears are not tools. Silence is not a weapon.

4. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Don’t say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not — that’s not maturity, that’s avoidance.

Emotional maturity doesn’t mean you never feel pain. It means you know how to handle it without destroying people in the process.

Let’s grow. Let’s mature. Let’s build love that doesn’t just feel good, but actually works.

Here’s One Reason You Were Created

Here’s One Reason You Were Created

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Here’s One Reason You Were Created

These days, I’ve noticed that many young people struggle to be thankful. A lot of people are upset, tired, and always complaining.

I get it. There are so many reasons to feel frustrated or even sad, especially if you live where I am. But there is something important that never changes:

God will always be God. Nothing will ever change that. You can be angry, ignore Him, or even say you don’t believe in Him, but He is still God and will always be God forever.

So the wisest thing you can do is to stay close to the One who made the world, the One who created you, and who knows everything from start to finish.

But knowing about God isn’t enough. Almost everyone believes there is a God somewhere. What matters is truly trusting that He knows what He’s doing with your life.

No one understands you better than God—not even you. Some people might say this sounds like preaching. Maybe it does. But the truth is, if you want your life to have real meaning, you must have a personal connection with God.

The devil doesn’t have real joy to offer. Money or things can make you happy only for a short time. Even marriage or dating can become disappointing if God isn’t part of it.

So why am I saying this? Because I want to encourage you as a single person: always be thankful. If you’re still unmarried at 35 or 40, it doesn’t mean God has forgotten you. He’s not some delivery service that gives you everything you want right when you ask. You were created for His purpose.

You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased. Revelation 4:11 (NLT)

You keep asking God for things, but have you stopped to ask what He wants from you? You dream about loving your future husband or wife. Well, you should first learn how to build that kind of loving relationship with God. My pastor used to say the most romantic people are those who spend time in the book of Romans. It sounds funny, but it’s true.

For in him we live and move and exist. Acts 17:28 (NLT)

Don’t let ingratitude steal tomorrow’s joy. Focus on what really matters. Stay close to the Holy Spirit.Remember, God doesn’t owe you anything, so let’s not act like He does.

May God help us all.

Dating Doesn’t Mean Disconnection From God

Dating Doesn’t Mean Disconnection From God

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Dating Doesn’t Mean Disconnection From God

You started the relationship with joy. The butterflies were flying, prayers were loud, and everything felt like a dream come true.

But slowly, your devotion to God started fading. Your prayer life grew cold. The fire you once had started burning low, all because of love.

Get on the seat and let’s gist. Look, it’s easy to get so caught up in someone that you forget the One who gave them to you.

Dating was never supposed to pull you away from God; it’s supposed to pull you both closer to Him. Any relationship that weakens your spiritual life is not a blessing; it’s a distraction.

Romans 12:11 says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” That means even while dating, your fire should still be burning. Your altar should still be alive.

If your relationship is costing you your connection with God, it’s too expensive. Love shouldn’t make you skip devotionals. It shouldn’t make you hide. It shouldn’t silence your convictions. True love doesn’t compete with God.

Don’t fall for the lie that says, “It’s just a season” or “It will get better.” Many have carried spiritual dryness into marriage because they never checked it during dating.

Pray together, yes. Also, pray alone.

Talk about your future, yes. Also, grow in your personal walk.

Love them deeply, but love God deeper.

You don’t have to choose between love and fire. You can have both when the relationship is built on the right foundation.

So, if you feel your fire slipping;

  • Pause
  • Reconnect
  • Return to your first love.

No matter how amazing they are, only God can satisfy your soul. You’re not just dating for fun, you’re dating for purpose, and purpose starts with staying connected to the One who holds it all together.

Shalom!

Why God Said No to Intimacy Before the Wedding

Why God Said No to Intimacy Before the Wedding

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Why God Said No to Intimacy Before the Wedding

In a world where premarital intimacy is often normalized and even celebrated, God’s design for sexual purity might seem outdated or restrictive. However, His command to reserve intimacy for marriage isn’t about limiting joy—it’s about protecting love, fostering trust, and reflecting His holiness. Let’s explore why God said no to intimacy before the wedding and how obeying this principle brings blessings far beyond what we can imagine.

1. Intimacy Reflects Covenant Love

Sexual intimacy was designed by God to be an expression of covenant commitment—a sacred bond between a husband and wife (Genesis 2:24). In Ephesians 5:31-32, Paul describes marriage as a profound mystery that reflects Christ’s relationship with the Church. Premarital intimacy undermines this picture by separating sex from its intended purpose: lifelong unity. When couples wait until marriage, they honor God’s design and experience intimacy as He intended—as a symbol of unconditional, sacrificial love.

2. It Protects Emotional Health

Premarital intimacy often leads to emotional entanglement and vulnerability. While physical closeness creates strong bonds, these connections can become painful if the relationship ends. Many people carry scars of heartbreak, guilt, or regret into future relationships because they gave themselves fully without the security of a lifelong commitment. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Waiting until marriage safeguards your heart and ensures that intimacy strengthens rather than complicates your emotional well-being.

3. It Builds Trust and Respect

When two people honor each other by waiting for marriage, they demonstrate respect for one another’s worth and boundaries. This decision fosters trust, knowing that neither person is pursuing selfish desires but is committed to building something lasting. First Thessalonians 4:3-5 instructs believers to live holy lives, avoiding sexual immorality and treating others with purity and honor. By reserving intimacy for marriage, couples lay a foundation of mutual respect that enhances their relationship.

4. It Prevents Unnecessary Consequences

God’s commands are not arbitrary—they are rooted in wisdom and love. Premarital intimacy can lead to unintended consequences such as unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, or damaged reputations. These challenges can derail dreams, strain families, and create unnecessary hardships. By waiting for marriage, couples avoid these risks and enter their union with clarity and freedom to focus on building a life together.

5. It Honors God’s Holiness

God calls His people to live set apart from the patterns of the world (1 Peter 1:15-16). Reserving intimacy for marriage is an act of worship—an acknowledgment that our bodies belong to Him and are meant to glorify Him. When we follow His plan, we align ourselves with His holiness and invite His blessing into our lives. Psalm 119:9 declares, “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to Your word.” Obedience to God’s standards protects us from harm and positions us to experience His best.

Final Thought:

God’s “no” to intimacy before marriage is actually a loving “yes” to something better—pure, unbroken, covenantal love within the safety of marriage. While waiting may feel difficult in a culture that pressures us to compromise, obedience to God’s design brings immeasurable rewards: deeper intimacy, stronger trust, emotional healing, and spiritual fulfillment.

If you’ve already crossed this boundary, remember that God offers grace and restoration. Confess your choices, seek His forgiveness, and commit to walking in purity moving forward. Whether you’re preparing for marriage or seeking renewal in your current relationship, trust that God’s way is always worth it. After all, He knows what will bring you the greatest joy and satisfaction—not just now, but for eternity.

When Love Crosses the Line

When Love Crosses the Line

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When Love Crosses the Line

As the evening settled in and the sky shifted from the glow of the sun to the calm of moonlight, Becky waited for Tomi, the man she had recently fallen for.

They had been together for about two months. They looked like a perfect couple from the outside, but Becky knew the truth was far more complicated.

In those weeks, they became consumed by physical intimacy, engaging in daily sexual activity that stopped short of intercourse. Even though her virginity remained intact, she felt her sense of purity and peace slipping away. She couldn’t quite understand how she had allowed things to spiral so far, and now she was left with a wound she didn’t know how to heal by herself.

One scripture kept echoing in her mind:

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.”Hebrews 12:1–3 (MSG):

Becky realized that if she stayed on this path, she’d be letting down not just herself, but God, her family, and all those who believed she was capable of something better. It felt as though she was trading something precious, a life of purpose and integrity for a fleeting sense of pleasure she knew wouldn’t last.

But how could she turn around?

If you’re facing something similar, remember this: the answer hasn’t changed. It’s always been Jesus. When you feel trapped, call out to him. He never turns you away.

At the end of our lives, each of us longs to stand before God unashamed. That moment matters more than any temporary desire. Jesus said it plainly

I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”John 14:6 (KJV):

Hebrews urges us again:

Keep your eyes on Jesus… Study how he did it… He never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God.”

If you sense him knocking on the door of your heart, don’t wait. Today can be the day everything changes. Open the door. Let him in.

When Love Crosses the Line

Why Forgiveness Is a Must in Relationships and Marriage

Why Forgiveness Is a Must in Relationships and Marriage

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Why Forgiveness Is a Must in Relationships and Marriage

Forgiveness is not a suggestion in relationships — it’s a necessity. Whether it’s a friendship, courtship, or lifelong marriage, the need to forgive will always arise. Why? Because no one is perfect. Mistakes, misunderstandings, and offenses are inevitable when two imperfect people are doing life together. What makes the relationship thrive is not the absence of wrongs but the presence of forgiveness.

Here’s why forgiveness is a must in relationships and marriage, supported by scriptures:

1. Forgiveness Reflects the Nature of God

God is the perfect model of love and forgiveness. He extends mercy daily, and as His children, we are called to do the same in our relationships.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

When we forgive, we mirror God’s heart. It reminds us and our partner that love is not based on perfection but on grace.

2. Forgiveness Preserves Unity and Intimacy

Bitterness creates emotional distance, but forgiveness heals and restores connection. No relationship can thrive in the presence of resentment.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

When you forgive, you choose unity over being right, and peace over pride.

3. Forgiveness Frees You from Emotional Bondage

Unforgiveness hurts the one holding onto it more than the offender. It weighs your heart down with anger, bitterness, and emotional exhaustion.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

Forgiveness liberates your soul. You let go, not because they always deserve it, but because you deserve peace.

4. Forgiveness Keeps Love Alive

Love cannot flourish in an environment of record-keeping. Forgiveness allows love to grow without being choked by past offenses.

Love… keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5 (Nkjv)

The more you forgive, the more space you create for love to remain warm, patient, and resilient

5. Forgiveness Strengthens the Covenant

In marriage, forgiveness isn’t occasional — it’s constant. It’s the glue that keeps the covenant strong, especially during hard seasons.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

You forgive not only because you vowed to love through the ups and downs, but also because God commands it, and He rewards obedience.

Forgiveness in marriage and relationships is not about pretending the offense didn’t hurt; it’s about choosing healing over hurting. It doesn’t make the other person right — it makes you whole.

Forgiveness is how you love deeply, stay united, and remain free. It’s how you mirror Christ’s love and protect the gift of relationship that God has entrusted to you.

Choose to forgive — every time.

There is Stability In God

There is Stability In God

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There is stability In God

There are moments in one’s life where nothing is obviously wrong, but everything feels… off.  You’re not making reckless choices; you’re showing up, doing your best, and staying faithful. Yet, somehow, beneath all that, something just feels unsettled.

One day you’re steady, the next you’re overwhelmed. Yesterday you felt confident in what God told you, today you’re second-guessing everything. It’s not that you don’t have faith—it’s just that things are shifting, and you notice it.

 “I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” – Psalm 16:8 (NIV)

The bible didn’t necessarily promise a quick fix. What it gives us is something solid to hold onto. David didn’t say, “I won’t be shaken because everything’s going my way.” He says, “I have set the Lord always before me.” That’s a deliberate choice, not just a passing feeling. He’s saying, “God, You’re my focus. You’re at the center.”

It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about not letting God fade into the background. Where you set your attention shapes the way you see and respond to everything else.

And don’t skip the second part of the verse: “Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” That right-hand place means God is close—He’s not distant or detached. He’s right beside you, present, ready to keep you steady when life feels off-balance.

That awareness changes everything. Instead of reacting to every emotion or thought, you can pause, reset and not because you have all the answers, but because you know who’s holding your hand.

So, what can you do when life feels a little unsteady?

1. Refocus your attention.
Ask yourself honestly: “What have I been putting in front of me lately?” If it’s stress, pressure, or distractions, no wonder you feel unsteady. Look to Jesus—not just because it’s the “right thing to do,” but because it’s what truly works.

2. Slow your pace. 
We put so much pressure on ourselves to fix everything—fast. But often, feeling shaky comes from moving too quickly. Whether you’re making decisions or just trying to get through the week, pause. Invite God into the space your hurry wants to fill. Clarity usually comes in the quiet, not in the rush.

3. Go back to what God already told you. 
When life feels unsteady, it’s tempting to look for something new—a new word, a new sign. But revisit what God has already said. He doesn’t change His mind just because you’re having a rough week.

4. Let truth lead, not your emotions. 
It’s okay to feel deeply. But you don’t have to let feelings run your decisions. Let God’s truth guide you, even when your heart feels loud or uncertain.

Let this sink in: You’re not unstable—you’re just learning to stay grounded. God isn’t far away. He’s close enough to steady you. You don’t have to answer every doubt or fear. Just stay anchored to Him. If God is before you and beside you, you can never fall apart—even if life feels a little unsteady right now.

There is stability In God

Navigating the Complex Emotions of Your Wife

Navigating the Complex Emotions of Your Wife

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Navigating the Complex Emotions of Your Wife

Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it’s not without its challenges, especially when it comes to understanding and navigating the complex emotions of your wife. Women are multifaceted beings, and their emotional depth can sometimes feel overwhelming or confusing to their husbands. However, with patience, empathy, and wisdom rooted in Scripture, you can create a safe space for her emotions while strengthening your relationship.

1. Acknowledge That Emotions Are Valid

Your wife’s feelings are real, even if they don’t always align with logic or your perspective. Psalm 56:8 reminds us that God collects our tears in a bottle, showing His deep care for our emotions. Instead of dismissing her feelings as “overreacting” or “irrational,” validate them by saying things like, “I hear you,” or “That sounds really hard.” Validation doesn’t mean agreement—it means acknowledging her experience and letting her know she’s heard.

2. Listen More Than You Speak

One of the greatest gifts you can give your wife is your undivided attention. James 1:19 encourages us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. When your wife shares her emotions, resist the urge to offer solutions or defend yourself immediately. Sometimes, she just needs someone to listen—to hold space for her pain, frustration, or joy. Listening builds trust and shows her that you value her heart.

3. Understand Hormonal and Emotional Influences

There are biological factors—such as hormonal fluctuations during menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause—that can heighten emotions. While these changes aren’t an excuse for sinful behavior, they do affect mood and communication. Educate yourself about these cycles so you can approach her with compassion rather than frustration. Remember, Ephesians 4:32 calls us to be kind and tenderhearted toward one another.

4. Ask Questions to Understand Her Heart

If you’re unsure why your wife feels a certain way, gently ask questions to gain insight. For example, “Can you help me understand what’s making you feel this way?” or “What would make you feel supported right now?” This demonstrates humility and a desire to connect on a deeper level. Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” Be the person who seeks to draw out her heart with care.

5. Pray for Wisdom and Patience

Navigating emotions requires supernatural wisdom and patience—qualities only God can provide. James 1:5 promises that if we ask for wisdom, God will give it generously. Pray specifically for discernment to understand your wife’s needs and for the self-control to respond lovingly, even when emotions run high. Invite her to pray with you, too; shared prayer strengthens unity and invites God into the situation.

6. Avoid Taking It Personally

Sometimes, your wife’s emotions may stem from external stressors, past wounds, or internal struggles—not necessarily something you’ve done. Resist the temptation to take her feelings personally or react defensively. Colossians 3:13 urges us to bear with each other and forgive as the Lord forgave us. Extend grace and remember that her emotions aren’t always a reflection of your worth as a husband.

7. Affirm Her Strengths and Beauty

Words have immense power to heal or hurt. Regularly affirm your wife’s strengths, beauty, and contributions to your marriage. Proverbs 31:28-29 paints a picture of a husband praising his wife: “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Compliments and encouragement remind her of her value and help soften moments of tension.

Final Thought:

Navigating your wife’s emotions isn’t about fixing everything—it’s about being present, patient, and loving through the ups and downs. By seeking to understand her heart, validating her feelings, and leaning on God’s guidance, you’ll foster a deeper connection and create a home filled with love and safety.

Remember, marriage is a partnership where both individuals bring unique perspectives and experiences. As you navigate the complexities of emotion together, trust that God is shaping you both into better versions of yourselves and drawing you closer to Him and each other.

Don’t Joke With Trust

Don’t Joke With Trust

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Don’t Joke With Trust

Let’s be honest: without trust, love becomes hard work. Not the good kind of work — the exhausting, second-guessing, always-suspecting kind.

You start reading meanings into every word, every delay, every “seen” without a reply. And suddenly, love feels more like detective work than connection.

If that’s how your relationship is going, as a single, then you may really need to rethink it.

Well, as a single, don’t only ask, “Can I trust this person?”

Also ask, “Am I a trustworthy person?”

Trust isn’t just about catching lies. It’s about consistency. Integrity. Doing what you said you would.

So, ask yourself:

Can I be trusted to keep boundaries?

Can I be trusted with someone else’s vulnerability?

Can I be trusted to honour them when they’re not in the room?

For married couples, trust isn’t something you build once and forget. It’s a house that constantly needs maintenance.

If you’ve broken trust, then start working on rebuilding it, brick by brick:

1. Start with honesty. Don’t hide. Don’t defend. Own your mistake.

2. Give your spouse space to feel. Don’t rush him/her to “just move on.” Healing takes time.

3. Show consistency over time. Trust isn’t repaired with flowers. It’s repaired with changed behaviour.

If you’re the one struggling to trust, then:

1. Be honest with your feelings, not just your accusations.

2. Avoid punishing the present for the past, especially if your partner is trying.

3. Pray for healing. Not everything can be fixed with words—some wounds need divine help.

Finally, always remember this: Trust is hard to earn, easy to lose, and worth everything to protect.

When trust is strong, love can breathe. And when it’s broken, love can suffocate.

So protect it. Build it. Rebuild it if needed.

Trust is really important—don’t take it for granted.

Don’t Joke With Trust

Why Relationships Require More Than Just Prayer

Why Relationships Require More Than Just Prayer

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Why Godly Relationships Require More Than Just Prayer

You’re praying, fasting, and declaring, but the relationship still feels shaky. You keep saying, “God will change him/her,” even though the signs are clear. Prayer is powerful, but prayer alone doesn’t build a relationship.

Yes, God answers prayers, but Godly relationships require effort, wisdom, and responsibility. You can’t pray your way into a healthy relationship while ignoring red flags, poor communication, or a lack of commitment.

Some people are using prayer to stay in what God is trying to rescue them from. Just because you’re praying together doesn’t mean you’re growing together. You can hold hands and still be heading in two different directions.

James 2:17 says, “Faith without works is dead.” That includes relationships. You can’t pray for a godly partner but stay with someone who dishonors your boundaries, mocks your convictions, or refuses to grow. You can’t build something strong if you’re the only one doing the building.

Prayer should not be used to cover dysfunction. It should invite clarity, correction, and confirmation. Godly relationships require communication, accountability, honesty, service, maturity, and action. Not vibes, excuses (God told me you’re my wife) with no follow-through.

Yes, pray, but while you’re praying, also pay attention. How do they treat people? Do they honor your values? Do they have vision? Do they lead with love and responsibility? Stop using prayer to ignore reality. When God brings two people together, He doesn’t just give them emotions; He gives them instructions. Godly love must be nurtured intentionally.

So, keep praying for your relationship, and don’t ignore the work. Set boundaries, communicate, seek counsel, heal, apologize, and grow. Even the best prayers need the right actions. A godly relationship doesn’t just fall from heaven; it’s built with prayer and purpose.

Shalom!

When the Marriage Lacks Romance

When the Marriage Lacks Romance

Reading Time: 3 minutes

When the Marriage Lacks Romance

Romance is often seen as the heartbeat of a thriving marriage, but what happens when that spark seems to fade? Many couples find themselves in this place, where daily routines, responsibilities, and life’s pressures overshadow the affection and passion they once shared. If your marriage feels like it lacks romance, take heart. God designed marriage to be a reflection of His love for us (Ephesians 5:25), and with intentionality and effort, you can rekindle the flame.

1. Recognize That Romance Requires Intentionality

Romance doesn’t just happen naturally over time; it requires deliberate effort. Life gets busy, and if we’re not careful, we can drift into autopilot mode, neglecting the small gestures that keep love alive. Song of Solomon 7:10 reminds us of the beauty of pursuing one another: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” Take ownership of reigniting romance by planning date nights, leaving sweet notes, or surprising your spouse with thoughtful acts of kindness. Even small efforts can make a big difference.

2. Communicate Openly About Your Needs

A lack of romance often stems from unspoken expectations or unmet needs. Instead of harboring frustration, have an honest yet gentle conversation with your spouse. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to speak words that build up rather than tear down. Share how you feel without blaming or criticizing, and listen to your partner’s perspective. Healthy communication creates space for understanding and collaboration to restore intimacy.

3. Prioritize Emotional Connection

Physical romance flows out of emotional connection. If there’s distance between you and your spouse emotionally, it will likely affect your physical relationship too. Spend quality time together—without distractions—to reconnect. Ask about their dreams, fears, and joys. Pray together and seek God’s guidance for your marriage. Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Cultivating emotional closeness lays a foundation for deeper romantic bonds.

4. Be Willing to Sacrifice Comfort Zones

Sometimes, the absence of romance comes from complacency or fear of stepping outside our comfort zones. Maybe you’ve stopped trying new things or expressing vulnerability because it feels awkward or risky. However, growth rarely happens within the confines of comfort. Be willing to initiate change—even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Whether it’s dressing up for dinner, writing a heartfelt letter, or planning a weekend getaway, stepping out of routine can breathe fresh energy into your marriage.

5. Seek God Together

Ultimately, true romance isn’t sustained by human effort alone—it’s fueled by God’s presence in your relationship. When couples prioritize their spiritual connection with Him, they invite His love to flow through their marriage. Malachi 2:15 says, “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit, they are His.” Pray together, read Scripture, and ask God to renew your hearts toward each other. As you align yourselves with His purposes, He will restore joy and passion to your union.

Final Thought:

The absence of romance doesn’t mean your marriage is broken—it means it’s time to refocus and rebuild. Don’t wait for “someday” or assume things will improve on their own. With intentional action, open communication, and reliance on God, you can revive the romance in your marriage. Remember, marriage is a covenant—a lifelong commitment meant to reflect Christ’s unwavering love for the church. By choosing to nurture romance, you honor both your spouse and the divine design of marriage.

So today, take one step—no matter how small—to show your spouse they are still treasured. Love deeply, pursue passionately, and trust that God will bless your efforts to strengthen the bond you share.

When the Marriage Lacks Romance

Trusting God’s Perfect Timing

Trusting God’s Perfect Timing

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Trusting God’s Perfect Timing

Life isn’t a race.
Each of us is on our own unique timeline, and when the time is right, the things you’ve been hoping for will unfold in the way they’re meant to. Trying to force things to happen before their season often only leads to disappointment or struggle.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)

So don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re falling behind because you’re not married yet or don’t have children.
It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious sometimes. But after you’ve shared your heart with your Heavenly Father and he has assured you that everything will be okay, you can rest in that promise. At the right moment, what you’re praying for—whether it’s marriage, children, a new job, or your own home—will come to pass.

Think about how children grow. Each one develops differently.
One baby might start crawling at six months, while another waits until nine.
Does that mean something is wrong with the second child? Of course not.
It’s simply their own timing.

In the same way, there’s no need to compare your life to anyone else’s.
You are not late.
When it’s your season, nothing and no one can stop it. No force can stand in your way.

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 (KJV)

But it’s important to be honest with yourself too: Is there anything in your life that’s holding you back?
Are you walking closely with God?
Have you surrendered your choices and habits to him?
Sometimes, unconfessed sin or disobedience can delay the blessings he has planned. If that’s the case, don’t hesitate to turn back to him—he is always ready to forgive and help you start again.

The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.Psalm 34:10 (KJV)

You will never miss out on any good thing God intends for you.
Whatever you’re believing for, trust that he is faithful to provide.
Do you believe he can do it? Then hold on to his word. He will never let you down.

May God bless you abundantly.

Trusting God’s Perfect Timing