There are differenttypes, kinds, shades, and forms of trouble in life and of course, in marriage. Some of these troubles we face in marriage are due to our carelessness most of the time. While others are the devil wanting to stir up issues.
Whichever way, God has told us of how to handle troubles in His word.
I must admit that there are some troubles or challenges that are so bigger than us. There is no way we can come out of then successfully without God intervening.
King David even though he was God’s beloved Psalmist, faced different situations way bigger and stronger than he. The good news is that God brought him over them all.
At whatever season in our marriage, when trouble comes, not if they come, because they will surely come, if we are believers, we are assured victory.
Some challenges are spiritual and must be dealt with by engaging in spiritual warfare. Whether they are in-law issues, financial, child birth, barrenness, betrayal, infidelity issues, health issues or we just noticed some resistance on our way, or there are constant quarrels between us as couples that really has no basis, or any other attack on our marriage, it calls for spiritual warfare.
That is the time we should deal with and take charge of whatever trouble or strange oppressive spirit from the devil that wants to destroy our marriages.
We must know how to intercede for our marriage more than anything else. We fight on our knees.
The bible says
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:3 – 5 KJV
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 KJV
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Our major work is to bind the wrong spirit behind such issues and loose the power of God. We come against the different spirits causing troubles for us and not allow us to enjoy peace, love and joy in our marriage.
Some problems are not with the 3rd party but within spouses. You have to learn to take charge and exercise authority over such anti-peace, anti-unity spirit. All they are after is to cause division, disunity, distress and fight in the marriage.
Also, praying for the eyes of the understanding of the other party is important.
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, Ephesians 1:17 – 18 KJV
By the time you have engaged in spiritual warfare, God promised us victory over every trouble. The victory may not come the way we want. But victory is sure and peace will be restored into our marriage
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not a careless spouse. I engage in battle for my family.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Part of beingsincere and being open and transparent in marriage is being able to express yourself without feeling ashamed. This is why we are considering the topic Don’t Be Afraid of Being Needy In Marriage”
I know this could be difficult to do. I have been there before. My husband is a full-blown-blooded choleric. And clerics are very expressive and opinionated. They could be very blunt and believe why should they be diplomatic? In fact, the blunter the better. They are not apologetic at all.
In my own thinking as a phlegmatic, everything has to be with diplomacy. You have to think of not hurting the other person even if it means you get hurt instead. You have to be apologetic and so on.
My husband is of the opinion that if he needs anything he will ask. Jokingly or straightforward, he will ask. He believes there is nothing he should not be able to ask his wife especially Jeru trip(*winks). He is never ashamed.
I had to learn to ask and not be ashamed that I am needy.
Recently, I saw our Caucasian dog do this and the Holy Spirit ministered to me that it’s so easy to ask for what you want.
Shame is a sign you are not naked and transparent with your spouse yet.
Our huge dog, whenever you are outside will come to you, make sure you notice him and then lie down very close to you expecting that you use your leg to rub him. He shows pleasure and if you remove your leg he will use his own legs to touch you. A non-verbal way of saying “don’t stop”.
We as couples should always learn to ask politely and courteously from our spouse. Don’t let the unfavorable answer of our spouses discourage us. Just ask. It is either he/she says Yes, No, or some other time.
We all are needy, in one way or another. Where I am strong my husband is weak and he is strong where I am weak. God created it so. We need one another, but we have the responsibility of making our needs known.
Don’t be too egoistic and don’t be ashamed of your needs. God already knows you are needy. Don’t also try to be humble unnecessarily by sacrificing your needs. Talk about your needs as a woman. Talk about your needs as a man, which includes jeru trip, intimacy, affection, time out even the need to be pampered.
Let’s be expressive even if we have to learn it.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I put God first place in my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, empower me to do thy will, at all times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to sow a good seed into her today!
I discussed the topic “How To Overcome Hurt In Marriage” yesterday and today, I will be concluding on the topic.
We established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to wrought his 3 fold agenda in marriages which is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immune to the strategies and attacks of the enemy. He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snooze out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
Hurt is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God.
Getting rid of hurts and making sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise. See the spiritual implication of hurt and what it can potentially do to your marriage.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder.
There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim to the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle hurt include:
1. Vengeance or retaliation. This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or event that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degree of hurt, but whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our heart and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our heart against hurts is taking communion. Try it because it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also take authority over the hurt. Exercise authority over words that cause hurts. Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. Isaiah 54:17 KJV
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there are exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with , you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness defile you.
Let your heart be void of offence, bitterness or hurt against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be hurt. I refuse to be bitter.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive those who hurt me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to get rid of offense
Every marriage atone time or another will need the wine in the marriage to be renewed or replenish. This happens probably because we made more withdrawals than deposits in the emotional tank of each other.
Life happens and a times we get too busy or occupied with our tight schedules that we lag behind in the things that make our marriage sizzle. Maybe as a wife you have been busy with house chores, children , in laws, office work and you have been a liitle grouchy lately.
As a husband too, maybe you have been cranky lately with bills piling up and their deadline approaching or as a son to your parents you have responsibilities to fulfill or maybe your mechanic played a fast one on you and the list could be endless of different things that get us overwhelmed with life itself.
All these will eventually affect our marriage one way or the other.
In John 2:1-11 in the story of the Marriage at Cana in Galilee, we saw that at a particular point and time in the marriage the new finished. Thank God for Jesus being around at the marriage.
Jesus is the only solution for finished wine in our marriage. But Jesus alone did make it happen. Just as your being born again doesn’t guarantee the automatic renewal of the wine of your marriage.
In the marriage at Cana of Galilee, the key players are
1. Jesus Christ 2. The mother of Jesus 3. The Servants 4. The Bride and Groom 5. The chairman of the ceremony
For there to be renewal of your marriage wine you also need these people in your marriage.
1. Jesus Christ. – He is the Word. You need the word to be spoken over your marriage. You have to have an active relationship with the word and invite Jesus into your marriage.
2. The mother of Jesus. – you need people who care and are interested in you because they love you. They notice the little details of your life about your life and watch out for you. You have to give them the permission into your space.
They are like your mentor. This could also pass for the Holy spirit. Who nudges you that the wine in your marriage needs renewal.
3. The servants. –These are like your Protégées. They will do whatever you ask them to do. You must know how to manage them for the benefit of your marriage. Don’t let them become pain to you, they are gift. This could pass for your faculties you employ and yield in obedience to Jesus
4. The bride and groom. – they are the couples whose marriage the wine needs renewal. Their marriage can become beautiful again. They can be helped of God and become the envy of all people.
5. The chairman of the ceremony. – this stands for the unbelievers around who will witness and share in the joy of what the Lord has and can do in your marriage when invited.
May we always allow Jesus into our marriage. God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The wine of my marriage will not finish. I receive divine refilling.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know when I need a refill.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 2:5 His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.
I haveoften heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else. Especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you made up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision. It is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt. Some people have been hurt most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt get at you.
Hurtful words spoken are like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is a choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse or of its a God ordained relationship or a relationship you can’t avoid. Pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies. That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that 60 years of your life is gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let receive Grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, criticised, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune against hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time, He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord , and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one. The one who died on the cross for you. When you face to face before Him on the judgement day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory. He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, etc remind yourself and confession out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16 KJV
Remember protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotions.
Protect yourself Gods way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
