It is not just the wife that needs to be schooled on how to respond, husbands also need to know how to respond in a way that is not offensive.
We all come from various backgrounds and as said a number of times, our background usually affects the way we behave, our value and almost every other thing.
Some of us have the bad habit of responding in ways that may boomerang into a negative behavior from our spouse. Example, some give the silence treatment, some respond in anger, some with tears, some by shouting, some by being judgmental, critical, shaming and rejecting their spouse.
It should be noted that it is our response to our spouse’ verbal and non verbal communication that will inform whether the communication will be sustained or not or whether it will turn to an argument.
My husband talks more and plays more than I do. He used to tell me that I give him the silence treatment. I had to be schooled that not only is silence treatment rude, it is so unpleasant. I had to change my behavior.
Change is the only constant thing and we must not be rigid but always willing to change. We change to suit our spouse and our spouse also changes to suit us. That is the work that marriage entails.
We can get away with some of our negative responses based on our spouse temperament. You can’t compare how a Choleric will react to how a Sanguine will react to a negative response.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
For every single issue, event, situation and circumstances there is always a good or bad response. We should always keep in mind that in every situation we should learn to be pleasant and be a Christian at least, lol.
We should allow our responses to reveal the fruits of the spirit within us.
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Husbands and wives be gentle with each other. Being a man doesnt mean you cannot be gentle.
Let us as wives to willing to suffer long with our husband. When the resources are not enough, let us be found still standing by our husbands. When things get better they will respect us forever,( for men that are sane).
Don’t let our response by that of complaint like Jobs wife
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
What will inform our good responses all of the time is the help of God. We all need God’s help not to blow it. If we do miss the mark we should not build a tabernacle there. Let’s be quick to ask for forgiveness and learn from our mistake.
Let us understand that our response has the ability to hurt our spouse deeply. Our response matters a lot.
My husband told me how much my response affects him and either gives him the energy to pursue or to give up.
Imagine if Dave Meyer has responded to Joyce Meyers call to Ministry in a non Challant way, how would Joyce be so impactful?
Let’s be careful, lest we be found guilty of being an hinderance to our husbands or wives fulfilling purpose and destiny.
May God help us.
God bless our marriage
Confession of the day I walk in the spirit and not in the flesh, so I respond well to my spouse
Prayer for the day Lord, help me yield to the dictates of the spirit
Thoughts of the day My repose is important to my spouse
Action plan for the day Write down 2 areas you want to change your response to your spouse
What makes a marriage powerful is not the living together of a man and a woman under the same roof. It is the sacred vows shared on the wedding day.
What makes the vows powerful was that it was said before God.
Many don’t even realize the sacredness of what they were doing exchanging marriage vows. A marriage covenant was enacted the moments those vows were said to each other and more so, God being a witness to the vows.
There is no marriage without an officiating minister conducting the marriage. In fact, the priest has to read the vows for the intending couples. The presence of the priest, representing God and doing the joining, proves that God is involved in the union.
Mal 2:15 [KJV] And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
Mal2:16 [Amp] For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
God put a lot of premium on treating your spouse well in marriage. Not only is God against cheating but everything that is an appearance of evil.
Dealing with your spouse treacherously also means not having an understanding of your spouse’s temperament and love language.
God asks us in order to fulfill our marital vows to watch our spirit and let it be controlled by His Spirit. When we are controlled by God’s Spirit, we will not walk in the flesh.
Such things as anger tantrums, silent treatment, criticizing, shaming, conterminous your spouse will not be there. Rather we will look out and fulfill our roles as leaders (for husbands) and helpmates (as wives)
Even God recognizes the fact that it takes Him by His Spirit to help us. The marital journey can never be fulfilled on our own.
Seek God’s help in every area. Whatever is the peculiar need of your spouse, receive Grace to satisfy it. Remember, your spouse will always to the opposite of you.
Some spouses complain my wife/husband like Jeru trip too much, my spouse is too shy, my spouse is too slow, my spouse is tight-fisted, my spouse is careless, my spouse is too spiritual, my spouse likes food too much etc, the list goes on and on
Remember, God has equipped you with whatever your spouse needs, just as whatever will fulfill your own needs he will meet. You have what it takes to satisfy your spouse. Use it well. It could be demanding but do it anyway rejoicing.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my spouse rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to honor my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal2:16 [Amp] For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
Yesterday, we started this topic. If you missed the devotional, you can read it HERE
What are the three things every husband or wife wants?
1. Prayers
2. Words of affirmation
3. Jeru trip
Lets take these items one by one.
1. Prayers There is so much you can pray for about your spouse. The issue is that you won’t know until you decide to start praying for him/her.
You have to remain prayed up for your spouse. Let no day pass without you bringing them before the throne of Grace and Mercy. Not just a general prayer but specific prayers.
You can have a prayer journal where you follow up on your prayers intelligently. You won’t know how much you are short circuiting God’s favor, mercy, goodness etc until you start praying for each other.
2. Words of affirmation There is no one that doesn’t appreciate some good words. We thrive on words and so some good, encouraging words would help us when we are overwhelmed by life.
Learn to speak into the life of your spouse. Declare Gods words over him/her. Take authority over the devil and any depressive spirit around them.
Encourage your spouse, celebrate him/her when they have done something good, praise and eulogize them. This will encourage them to do better.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Jeru trip This is essential because any marriage lacking in good and intimate Jeru trip has been reduced to a club or association. Intimacy in marriage is achieved when both can be naked and not ashamed, where you can lay bare everything.
Jeru trip in marriage keep couples healthy spirit, soul and body. It releases tension and renews energy and creativity to move on.
Remember, your spouse needs you.
God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I pray for my spouse and encourage him/her with my words.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me sow good seeds into my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:31. (KJV) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a decision to do these 3 things
Every once in a while, every husband and wife needs these three things. It basically takes care of most of the needs we have.
My husband is very busy and I’m sometimes amazed at how he joggles many things together. The mere fact that he never went to any computer school nor had any formal training and he knows so much keeps me amazed.
He designs the KHC website and other sites and manages all our outfit online including our podcasts. Sometimes, he has to research all by himself for days and sometimes burn the night candle to get things done.
He also has a church to take care of, bills to pay and a family to look after. He also has stay at the cutting edge of ministry which involves a lot of prayers and studying God’s word.
As his wife, I have to provide the most conducive environment for him to function at an ultimate level, avoid strife and be very understanding.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
I most confess here, I do fall short of my responsibilities at times, but thank God for His Spirit and Grace that always helps me.
My husband has to teach me and tell me how important my support is to him.
I also feel we are meant to create the support system our spouses need. Husbands to wives and wives to husbands, we all need these support systems if not, the purpose of marriage is defeated.
Tomorrow, I would share just three of these support we can give each other at any given time.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I pray for my spouse and encourage him/her with my words.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to sow good seeds into my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ephesians 5:31. (KJV) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC couples camp meeting
