We started on the topic “How Couples Can Keep Emotions in Check” Yesterday, we started on this anger issue. I told us anger can be used positively, like the case of Jabez, who changed his story when he got angry.
In the context of marriage, however, you can start handling your anger in a positive way by using these 2 methods.
1. Trace back the source of your anger.
Most people’s anger could be traced to something that happened way back in their past. A parent abandoned them, the death of a loved one, something negative that happened, and so on.
We are angry because of pain. Think back and get the source of what makes you angry. Don’t just ignore it, thinking it will pass away.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
2. Admit your anger
What you don’t admit, you cannot take responsibility over. It is until you admit and agree that you have anger problem that is hurting you and your loved ones, it holds its grip over you.
Become vulnerable, admit it as a sin, then and only then can you be free to handle these negative emotions.
Also know that we all express anger for different reasons and in different ways. Don’t judge your spouse. Focus on dealing with your own anger problems before trying to help your spouse.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be an angry spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord help me recognize the source of my anger and deal with it.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for couples camp meeting
We all have emotions and there’s nothing wrong with having them. What could be wrong is not handling them well.
Whatever God has given us, whether money, relationships, jobs, career, gifts, talents etc, we need to take responsibility over them. Maturity is learning to handle them well, so that they are used to our advantage and not to our disadvantage.
For Example, God gave us all mouths, but do you know that some people have destroyed their marriages by the wrong use of their mouth?
Anger could be used in a positive way if we understand its great potentials. Anger is what makes us desire for things and ourselves to get better. When we get angry over the status quo we find change.
When we get angry at how we are treated by life, we seek something better, a better life for us and our families.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
In 1 Chron 4:9-10 it was because Jabez was angry at why a name meaning sorrow was imposed upon him that he could pray and have a change of name and destiny.
If we didn’t have the ability to get angry, we will remain as we are. Anger shows there is a problem to be dealt with. Even God get angry.
The evil of unmanaged anger like any other unmanaged emotions far outweighs the benefits.
In marriage, we must keep our emotions managed. Some couple react to situations in an explosive way while others react angrily in a quiet way. Whether it is an explosive anger or a silent anger both are destructive.
The silent anger is dangerous because it works like hot magma. It silently gathers strength and then in a moment without warning it explodes causing a lot of havoc.
Tomorrow, I will show you practical ways to handle anger in marriage.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be an angry spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord help me recognize the source of my anger and deal with it.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I have to deal with any source of angry but it destroys me
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC couple’s camp meeting
The ultimate goal of every marriage is for both the husband and the wife to grow increasingly in love and intimate with each other.
When you look at your marriage, can you say of the truth that you and your spouse are growing in love?
You may start out not being so close with each other in terms of understanding each other, but as the years roll by, you should be growing in intimacy.
However, it takes some couples longer years to grow to that level of intimacy. Some couples are like cat and mouse. They have not been able to work out their differences.
It is like a rat race, the husband always wants the wife to be exactly like him and vice versa. They always want to fashion their wife into what they want or what they feel she should be like. The same thing with the wife, always trying to make her husband into her image of what a husband should be.
God has not called us to the ministry of changing our spouses. It is a futile ministry, a ministry that will never prosper. If anything, you will end up having a spouse who is a clone of himself or herself.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Allow your spouse to grow at his/her pace. Don’t try to change your spouse. Your spouse is not essentially your primary responsibility in terms of monitoring him /her. Do more prayer and intercession for your spouse and allow God to get through to him/her.
Don’t let us be too hasty in judging our spouse. Let’s learn to rather commend them to God and to the word of his grace which is able to build up and give them an inheritance among them that are sanctified, as instructed in Acts 20:32
Here are some characters to watch out for that can hinder intimacy in marriage
1. Immaturity Learn to handle things in your marriage maturely. Learn to separate issues from your spouses’ personality.
2. Being temperamental When you are too strong on your personality or being a difficult person.
3. Being too emotional
4. Not forgiving easily
5. Not respecting your spouse as an individual and God’s child.
6. Not being easy to talk with
7. Lack of understanding If you don’t understand that you and your spouse are different and that you see things from different standpoints, intimacy is going to be difficult
All these and much more are things that can prevent any marriage from experiencing the intimacy they so much desire.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to be intimate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to love my spouse with all my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 2:24[NKJV] Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC Couples camp meeting
We started on the topic “Ways to Know that your marriage needs help” in yesterday’s devotional. let’s look at a few more
3. When the couples keep secrets from each other
There are different vital information that your spouse considers you should not keep away from them. Keeping such information away for whatever reasons could create a crack in the marriage. Trust is broken and you never see yourself as being naked and not ashamed.
4. When there is still parental influence
The Bible clearly says in Gen 2: 23, the husband should leave father and mother and cleave to his wife.
Parents, no doubt, want what is best for their children but we have to obey scriptures for our marriage to work like God planned it. Parents could be sentimental and biased when it comes to their opinion or judging issues in case there is a misunderstanding. So avoid the involvement of your own parents in your marital affairs as much as possible.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. When there is extramarital affairs
When there is extra marital affairs either by the husband or wife or from both couples, it’s a serious sign that all is not well. Whatever the justification whether out of retaliation, offense, being promiscuous, ignorance, neglect from either spouse, health conditions, financial constraints or whatever the reason. Whenever there is infidelity there is serious problem.
Maybe it is not a full blown affair, it is still under an emotional affair or an office affair they are all danger signs.
Seek help before it gets out of hand.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I seek the needed help when I need it.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord surround me with my helpers and let me recognize them.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 20:2 Send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will sincerely look into my marriage and identify areas where we need help
We all need help at some point or another. Needing help just shows that we are only humans and there is nothing to be ashamed of when we need help.
Some couples out of shame and not being sincere have sabotaged their marriage. In the physical, we have hospitals and Doctors to the sick. What of if the sick is ashamed and refuses to open up or go to the hospital? He simply die in his sickness.
Help is always available to whosoever will seek the necessary help when necessary.
In marriage too, we need help at different times for different reasons.
Your marriage may need help if these 5 signs are obvious in your marriage but of cause, it is not limited to these 5 things.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
1. If the wife is always denying her husband sex either to punish him or get her way. The need for sex in man is so enormous that this need has to be met. A man is satisfied and optimal condition when he has regular Jerusalem trips.
Yes, the wife could have a lot of reasons why they deny them but please this has to be talked about. Seek help through books or counselor. Don’t keep quiet, as this could be detrimental to your marriage.
2. When there is regular misunderstanding and strife that lingers. Find the source of your constant quarrels and prayerfully get to the root of it. Obviously, you will marry someone opposite of you. Your spouse will be of a different temperament to you. Try and accommodate your spouse excess while you grow up to maturity together.
To be continued…
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I seek the needed help when I need it.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord surround me with my helpers and let me recognize them.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 20:2 Send thee help from the sanctuary, and strengthen thee out of Zion;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will sincerely look into my marriage and identify areas where we need help
