We have been looking at this topic building to last in marriage for some time now and I will be taking the concluding part of the same topic.
I pray and sincerely hope this message will bring couples to ways they can discuss this together to find their own way of implementing the points. There may be ways based on their peculiar situation, they could adapt the points discussed here.
8. Never talk bad about your spouse to anybody
Respect the covenant between you. Let no one be able to come between you. Don’t betray trust. Defend each other. Don’t fight with each other but fight for each other. Don’t fight your spouse because of any other person. Don’t give any other person the privilege of being more special than your spouse. It will backfire. What is between the two of you cannot be compared with any other relationship.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
9. Love jeru trip
Enjoy Jerusalem trips. It is pleasure to both of you. Never get tired of each other. Give yourself to one another unhindered
10. Keep the word ‘divorce’ out of your dictionary
Remember your marriage vows. It is till death do us part. There are no problems without solutions. There are issues, challenges but there are ways of handling them. We may not be patient enough or seek God’s face enough to find a lasting solution. God has promised us a way of escape.
Jesus said in John 14:6, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life
Have a bulldog approach to your marriage. Whatever happens, God can restore and make all things new. That doesn’t mean staying in an abusive relationship and environment. Seek all the help you can get for your marriage to be better.
11. Understand each other’s love language
Your love language is like your native mother language, you are most comfortable speaking it and have a free flow with it. Just like you speak the language your spouse understands, you must be willing to learn and understand your spouse’s love language. Don’t insist on your own way of expressing love.
Try to please your spouse. Do whatever he/ she likes and best expresses that you love and care for him/her.
It is either it is gifts, words, touch, actions, or quality time. If it is words, learn to speak tender and kind words to your spouse. Don’t be harsh with your words. Don’t correctly sharply.
If gifts, surprise each other with gifts, do this frequently.
If actions, help to do the dishes, throw the garbage out, wash the car, etc, just offer to do something.
12. Spice up your marriage with little gestures.
Surprise each other with gifts, kisses, and sex. That shows you are thinking of your spouse. Let your spouse know that you are still in love with them.
Kiss passionately, hold hands, cuddle and show public display of affection. Look into each other’s eyes when talking. Be deeply concerned about each other. Look out for yourselves and ask whatever may be happening to your spouse emotionally, physically, or otherwise.
May God bless our marriage as we put these things into practice.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
A lovely day it is to once again look into our topic, building a happy and lasting marriage.
It takes a conscious effort to build anything. Jesus showed us how to build. He says we must dig deep and lay the foundation on the rock, on solid principles that are void of sentiments. Build with godly principles that will outlive the test of time.
Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. – Luk 6:47- 48
5. Be polite to each other
This is very crucial if you must build a lasting marriage where both spouses are happy. Most of the time, the husband’s ego makes it difficult to be polite to his wife. He feels why should I say sorry, thank you, or please. If he says it at all, he does so once in a while.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
If the wife mentions it, he says ‘I am the husband’. In marriage, we don’t take each other for granted. Later than sooner, there will be reactions. Respect should be reciprocal.
6. Always listen attentively to your spouse.
Make it a habit to always listen when your spouse is talking. When the spouse senses that you are not listening, it gives a feeling he/she is not so important to you. You must make your spouse feel like they are the most important person in this world to you because really they are.
Stop looking at your phones, iPad, laptop or watching the news, or reading a book when your spouse is talking to you.
The best communication skill you can develop is listening. Be quiet and patient while your spouse is speaking and you can now express your opinion. Look straight into his/her eyes when he /she is talking to you. That will make them feel you are interested in what they have to say.
7. Communication
This is the key to your relationship. Talk like lovers and friends. Most couples have lost friendship and some were never friends. You need to make amends where necessary because you can’t build a lasting marriage where you are not each other’s friends.
Don’t grow apart. There should be no fear whatsoever in expressing yourself. Deal with the root of whatever is causing fear. Ask yourself; am I easy to talk with? Does my spouse find me easy to talk with? Don’t answer yourself, ask your spouse. Don’t let your spouse guess what you are thinking about.
I will stop here for now.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
We started this topic yesterday and we will continue today. Like I wrote before, I will take it slowly so that we can have ample time to discuss each point in-depth and we can meditatively make necessary adjustments in our marriage.
It is important that each husband and wife find time to discuss these practical steps. We have busy schedules but if we must build a happy and lasting marriage, we have to find the time. We find time for what is important.
Our marriage and family is the personal gift God has given us. He will ask us how we handled it and what we made out of it.
Let’s continue:
2. Be quick to forgive your spouse.
Marriage is two forgivers living together. Some spouses already have it in their mind some offense they can never forgive. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize. Forgive and stop referring to past wrongdoings. Never go to bed angry or with unsettled quarrels because you have time to brood over it and the devil has the opportunity to magnify it. Love forgives. Learn to accept apologies.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Love the person you married.
This is as much an instruction to the husband as it is to the wife. You must love the person you married not the person you wished you married. This will eradicate all forms of the complaint. If you know you are married and as it were, you are stuck together for life, weakness, strength and all, instead of complaining and comparing your spouse, you will find a way to reach a compromise about each other weaknesses.
You cannot love the spouse you have not accepted. Love seeks to accept. Until you accept your spouse, you cannot get the best out of marriage. Accept each other but love each other enough not to leave him/her to minimize their weaknesses
4. Meet the needs of each other.
Be generous to your spouse and children. Let your spouse know you are on the top priority list after God the giver of life. Provide the needs of the children. Don’t spend money meant for the upkeep of the children. Your wife knows and is assured that you love her when you care for the children. There is a sense of security it gives her.
Provide for the needs of your wife. Your wife has a lot of needs. Be concerned about her needs. Spend to beautify her. Don’t hoard money from your wife. Discuss budget, savings and be as plain as you can be about money
God bless our marriage
May God grant us grace to do these things we are learning.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
I will be taking us on a series and I believe it will help our marriages. The points I will be sharing with us are from a Whatsapp post. I will not just be giving us points but will be taking out time to discuss the points and how it affects our marriage.
If you can also discuss these points with your spouse or in a small group as we do on KHC women whatsapp group, it will be more effective.
Why do we have to build a happy and lasting Marriage? Because like any institution, marriage has the capacity to become old and obsolete. It is our responsibility to build into our marriage values that will keep it renewed.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Like a machine, it has to be greased, oiled, serviced and its parts replaced or repaired. In marriage, no one knows it all. When the husband begins to think he is right all of the time and cannot be wrong, trouble is brewing.
We want to be sure the ingredients we are using to build our marriage can stand the test of time. We need to raise a standard of the blood of Jesus against all that is militating against our marriage, especially in this end times.
There are specific wisdom needed to build our homes and marriages which does not answer to the wisdom we have in business or in nation building or in leadership, although some principles do apply.
Let’s go into the points.
1. Understand each other.
This is huge in any marriage that will succeed and will last. It will be pride for a husband and wife to think that they know or fully understand their spouse.
Understanding your spouse is what you will never graduate from. Both spouses must be willing and ready to keep on understanding each other.
You are different and may never be the same forever. Respect the fact that you are individuals with strengths and weaknesses.
The marriage is as strong as you strengthen each other’s weaknesses when you respond and not react to each other.
Marriage is like the jigsaw puzzle, the puzzles are never the same but fit perfectly to form a beautiful picture which individually can never be formed.
I will stop here today. May God build with us and help us build lasting marriages in Jesus name. God bless our marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word trust is defined as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Relationships have to be built on trust.
The very core, basis, and foundation of the marriage covenant is trust. Once the trust is ruptured, there is virtually nothing that can be done or said.
If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? – Psa 11:3
Once trust is broken for whatever reason, what is left is suspicion. Suspicion in marriage is so dangerous. It leaves either of the parties a victim in his/her own matrimonial home.
To be suspicious is, ‘causing one to have the idea or impression that someone or something is questionable, dishonest or dangerous.’
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
A marriage covenant is an oath or pledge between the couples to protect each other, help each other, defend each other, fight for each other, stand by each other, and much more.
In a covenant, the husband and wife are pledging to each other that your strength becomes my strength and your weaknesses become my weaknesses. I fight to defend your cause and I fight against your enemies. Your enemies are my enemies and your friends my friends.
Little wonder when God was cutting a covenant with Abraham he said
And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. – Gen 12:3
When there is suspicion, the very foundation for the marriage covenant is broken.
When a husband or wife fails to trust his spouse, he may also have trust issues with God.
Lack of trust may be borne out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing your spouse, fear of infidelity, insecurities,
Another reason why suspicion is dangerous is that according to Job, what you fear, your open the door for the enemy to afflict. You literally open up your marriage to be oppressed by the devil.
For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. – Job 3:25
Another basis for suspicion is a lack of genuine love and forgiveness. When you find it difficult to forgive whole-heartedly. You hold on to the past and make that the basis of your conduct in marriage.
To enjoy your marriage and to experience your strengths being multiplied, you need to trust one another and lift up each other in prayers.
It is my prayer that the Lord help us all to uproot seeds of suspicion in our marriages.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I trust my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
