When the Marriage Lacks Romance

When the Marriage Lacks Romance

Reading Time: 3 minutes

When the Marriage Lacks Romance

Romance is often seen as the heartbeat of a thriving marriage, but what happens when that spark seems to fade? Many couples find themselves in this place, where daily routines, responsibilities, and life’s pressures overshadow the affection and passion they once shared. If your marriage feels like it lacks romance, take heart. God designed marriage to be a reflection of His love for us (Ephesians 5:25), and with intentionality and effort, you can rekindle the flame.

1. Recognize That Romance Requires Intentionality

Romance doesn’t just happen naturally over time; it requires deliberate effort. Life gets busy, and if we’re not careful, we can drift into autopilot mode, neglecting the small gestures that keep love alive. Song of Solomon 7:10 reminds us of the beauty of pursuing one another: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” Take ownership of reigniting romance by planning date nights, leaving sweet notes, or surprising your spouse with thoughtful acts of kindness. Even small efforts can make a big difference.

2. Communicate Openly About Your Needs

A lack of romance often stems from unspoken expectations or unmet needs. Instead of harboring frustration, have an honest yet gentle conversation with your spouse. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to speak words that build up rather than tear down. Share how you feel without blaming or criticizing, and listen to your partner’s perspective. Healthy communication creates space for understanding and collaboration to restore intimacy.

3. Prioritize Emotional Connection

Physical romance flows out of emotional connection. If there’s distance between you and your spouse emotionally, it will likely affect your physical relationship too. Spend quality time together—without distractions—to reconnect. Ask about their dreams, fears, and joys. Pray together and seek God’s guidance for your marriage. Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Cultivating emotional closeness lays a foundation for deeper romantic bonds.

4. Be Willing to Sacrifice Comfort Zones

Sometimes, the absence of romance comes from complacency or fear of stepping outside our comfort zones. Maybe you’ve stopped trying new things or expressing vulnerability because it feels awkward or risky. However, growth rarely happens within the confines of comfort. Be willing to initiate change—even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Whether it’s dressing up for dinner, writing a heartfelt letter, or planning a weekend getaway, stepping out of routine can breathe fresh energy into your marriage.

5. Seek God Together

Ultimately, true romance isn’t sustained by human effort alone—it’s fueled by God’s presence in your relationship. When couples prioritize their spiritual connection with Him, they invite His love to flow through their marriage. Malachi 2:15 says, “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit, they are His.” Pray together, read Scripture, and ask God to renew your hearts toward each other. As you align yourselves with His purposes, He will restore joy and passion to your union.

Final Thought:

The absence of romance doesn’t mean your marriage is broken—it means it’s time to refocus and rebuild. Don’t wait for “someday” or assume things will improve on their own. With intentional action, open communication, and reliance on God, you can revive the romance in your marriage. Remember, marriage is a covenant—a lifelong commitment meant to reflect Christ’s unwavering love for the church. By choosing to nurture romance, you honor both your spouse and the divine design of marriage.

So today, take one step—no matter how small—to show your spouse they are still treasured. Love deeply, pursue passionately, and trust that God will bless your efforts to strengthen the bond you share.

When the Marriage Lacks Romance

Love Me, Don’t Lust Me

Love Me, Don’t Lust Me

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Love Me, Don’t Lust Me

In a culture saturated with images, messages, and expectations that glorify physical attraction and instant gratification, the line between love and lust has become dangerously blurred. Many relationships today are built on fleeting emotions or surface-level desires rather than deep, lasting commitment. But God calls us to something higher—to love others in a way that honors Him and reflects His heart. Let’s explore why “Love me, don’t lust me!” is a powerful declaration for every relationship.

1. Lust Focuses on Self; Love Focuses on Others

Lust is inherently selfish. It says, “What can you do for me? How can you satisfy my desires?” Whether it’s physical attraction, emotional validation, or material gain, lust centers on personal benefit. James 4:3 warns, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

True love, however, shifts the focus away from self and onto the other person. 1 Corinthians 13:5 reminds us that love “is not self-seeking.” When we truly love someone, we seek their best interests, not our own comfort or pleasure. Love asks, “How can I serve you? How can I help you grow closer to God?”

2. Lust is Temporary; Love is Eternal

Lust thrives on momentary feelings—infatuation, chemistry, or excitement. These emotions might feel intoxicating at first, but they fade quickly when faced with challenges or reality. Proverbs 5:3-4 describes this cycle perfectly: “For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.”

God’s kind of love, by contrast, is eternal. It doesn’t depend on fleeting passions but on steadfast commitment. Song of Solomon 8:7 declares, “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” True love endures through trials, disagreements, and hardships because it’s rooted in covenant, not convenience.

3. Lust Objectifies; Love Honors

One of the most damaging aspects of lust is that it reduces people to objects meant to fulfill personal desires. This mindset strips individuals of their dignity and worth, treating them as tools for satisfaction rather than image-bearers of God (Genesis 1:27).

Love, on the other hand, honors and respects the personhood of another. Ephesians 5:33 instructs husbands to love their wives and treat them with reverence. True love sees beyond outward appearances and values the soul, character, and spiritual growth of the other person. It cherishes them as Christ cherishes His bride—the church.

4. Lust Destroys; Love Builds Up

The consequences of lust are devastating. It leads to broken relationships, shattered trust, and deep wounds that take years to heal. Jesus warned about the seriousness of lust in Matthew 5:28, saying that indulging in lustful thoughts is akin to committing adultery in the heart. Lust destroys marriages, families, and communities.

Love, however, builds up and restores. 1 Thessalonians 4:9 encourages believers to “love one another,” emphasizing that love fosters unity, peace, and mutual edification. When we choose to love instead of lust, we create an environment where healing, trust, and intimacy can flourish.

5. Lust Is Fleshly; Love Is Spiritual

At its core, lust originates from the flesh—the sinful nature within us that seeks immediate gratification without regard for God’s will. Galatians 5:16 urges us to walk by the Spirit so we won’t gratify the desires of the flesh. Lust separates us from God’s purpose and design for relationships.

Love, however, flows from the Spirit. It aligns with God’s Word and reflects His character. Colossians 3:14 tells us that love is the bond of perfection—it ties everything together in harmony. When we allow the Holy Spirit to guide our hearts, we learn to love others in a way that pleases God and brings glory to His name.

Final Thought:

“Love me, don’t lust me!” isn’t just a plea—it’s a call to live according to God’s design for relationships. Lust may promise temporary fulfillment, but only love offers true joy, connection, and purpose. As you navigate friendships, dating, marriage, or any form of relationship, remember that love honors, protects, and uplifts, while lust devalues, exploits, and destroys. Choose love—the kind of love that mirrors Christ’s sacrifice—and watch how it transforms both you and those around you.

Love Me, Don’t Lust Me!

Why Love is Different From Love

Why Love is Different From Love

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Why Love is Different From Love

At first glance, the phrase “love is different from love” might sound confusing. After all, isn’t love just… love? But when we dig deeper into Scripture and examine how God defines love versus how the world portrays it, we discover that not all expressions of “love” are created equal. Understanding this difference can transform our relationships, marriages, friendships, and even our walk with God.

1. Worldly Love is Conditional; God’s Love is Unconditional

The world often teaches us to love based on what someone does for us or how they make us feel. It says, “I’ll love you if…”—if you meet my needs, if you treat me well, if you look a certain way. This transactional approach to love is fleeting and fragile because it depends on circumstances and performance.

In contrast, God’s love is unconditional.

Romans 5:8 tells us, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

God didn’t wait for us to clean ourselves up or prove our worth before loving us. His love is given freely, without strings attached. When we embrace this truth, we begin to see that real love doesn’t keep score—it simply gives.

2. Worldly Love is Selfish; God’s Love is Sacrificial

Much of what the world calls “love” revolves around self-interest. Whether it’s seeking validation, pleasure, or personal gain, worldly love asks, What’s in it for me?” Relationships built on selfish motives inevitably crumble under pressure.

God’s love, however, is sacrificial. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. True love requires putting others’ needs above your own, serving them even when it costs you something. Sacrificial love builds trust, fosters unity, and reflects the heart of Jesus.

3. Worldly Love Fades; God’s Love Endures Forever

Feelings-based love—the kind fueled by emotions, chemistry, or infatuation—can burn brightly but fade quickly. Songs, movies, and social media often romanticize this type of love, portraying it as the pinnacle of happiness. Yet feelings come and go, leaving people disillusioned when reality sets in.

God’s love, on the other hand, endures forever.

Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds us, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

Love rooted in God’s nature isn’t swayed by moods or seasons. It remains steadfast through trials, disagreements, and hardships. This enduring love provides stability and security in relationships.

4. Worldly Love Focuses on Appearance; God’s Love Values Character

Society frequently equates love with physical attraction or outward success. People chase after superficial qualities like beauty, wealth, or status, mistaking admiration for genuine affection. However, Proverbs 31:30 declares, Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

God’s love looks beyond appearances and values character, integrity, and spiritual depth. When we align our understanding of love with God’s perspective, we prioritize inner qualities over external ones, creating stronger, more meaningful connections.

5. Worldly Love Seeks Possession; God’s Love Offers Freedom

The world’s version of love often seeks control or possession, demanding loyalty, exclusivity, or submission at any cost. This possessive mindset stifles freedom and breeds resentment.

God’s love, however, offers freedom. Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” True love respects boundaries, honors individuality, and allows room for growth. It seeks the best for the other person, even if that means letting go or stepping back when necessary.

Love is indeed different from love. Worldly love may bring temporary satisfaction, but only God’s love satisfies fully and eternally. As believers, let us strive to embody His kind of love—unconditional, sacrificial, enduring, value-driven, and freeing. By doing so, we reflect His heart to a world desperate for authentic, transformative love. Let your love point others to the One whose love never fails.

Five Decisions Every Man Should Make

Five Decisions Every Man Should Make

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Five Decisions Every Man Should Make

In a world filled with distractions, pressures, and competing priorities, men are called to rise above the noise and live with purpose. The Bible provides clear guidance on how to navigate life as a man of integrity, strength, and faith. Here are five critical decisions every man should make to fulfill his God-given role and leave a lasting legacy.

1. Decide to Lead with Humility

True leadership isn’t about power or control—it’s about serving others. Jesus set the ultimate example when He washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15), demonstrating that greatness comes through humility. As a man, decide to lead your family, workplace, and community not by demanding respect but by earning it through selfless service. Be willing to admit mistakes, listen to others, and prioritize their needs over your own ego.

2. Decide to Walk in Integrity

Proverbs 10:9 says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” A man of integrity aligns his actions with his words and values. Decide today to live honestly—even when no one is watching. Whether it’s in business dealings, relationships, or personal decisions, choose to do what is right rather than what is easy. Your reputation is built on the small, consistent choices you make daily.

3. Decide to Protect What Matters Most

Men are called to be protectors—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, sacrificing for her well-being. Beyond marriage, this principle applies to all areas of life. Decide to safeguard your family from harmful influences, defend those who cannot defend themselves, and stand firm against injustice. A protector doesn’t shy away from challenges; he faces them head-on with courage and conviction.

4. Decide to Pursue Wisdom

The Book of Proverbs repeatedly emphasizes the importance of wisdom, calling it more valuable than wealth or power (Proverbs 3:13-18). Decide to grow in knowledge and understanding by spending time in God’s Word, seeking counsel from wise mentors, and learning from life’s experiences. Wisdom enables you to make sound decisions, avoid unnecessary pitfalls, and guide others effectively. A wise man leaves a legacy of insight that benefits generations to come.

5. Decide to Depend on God

No matter how strong or capable you may feel, true strength comes from leaning on God. Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Decide to surrender your plans, fears, and struggles to Him. Trust that His timing is perfect, His provision is sufficient, and His grace is abundant. When you depend on God, you become unshakable because your foundation is secure in Him.

Final Thought:

Every decision shapes the man you are becoming. Will you choose humility over pride, integrity over compromise, protection over passivity, wisdom over foolishness, and dependence on God over self-reliance? These choices define not only your character but also the impact you’ll have on those around you. Men, the world needs godly leaders who reflect Christ’s heart and exemplify His ways. Start making these decisions today, and watch how God uses you to build a legacy of faith, strength, and love.

A Word to the Fathers on Father’s Day

A Word to the Fathers on Father’s Day

Reading Time: 2 minutes

A Word to the Fathers on Father’s Day

Father’s Day is more than just a day for celebration; it’s an opportunity to reflect on the profound impact fathers have in shaping lives, families, and generations. To every father reading this—whether you’re a biological dad, stepdad, adoptive father, spiritual mentor, or simply filling the role of a father figure—you are called to something greater than yourself. Your influence matters eternally, and God has entrusted you with a sacred responsibility.

1. Be Present

One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is your presence—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 reminds fathers to teach their children diligently, talking about God’s commands “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Being present means engaging in meaningful conversations, listening without judgment, and creating memories that will shape their hearts forever. Your time is one of the most valuable things you can offer.

2. Lead by Example

Children learn far more from what they see than what they hear. As a father, you are modeling what manhood, leadership, and faith look like. Ephesians 5:25 calls men to love their wives as Christ loved the church—a sacrificial, selfless kind of love. When you lead your family with humility, integrity, and devotion to God, you set a standard that echoes into eternity. Your actions today will leave footprints on the paths your children walk tomorrow.

3. Point Them to Jesus

Your ultimate goal as a father isn’t to raise perfect kids—it’s to point them to the Perfect Savior. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” Share your faith openly, pray with them, and show them how to seek God in both joy and hardship. A legacy of faith is the greatest inheritance you can pass down.

4. Extend Grace and Forgiveness

No father is perfect, and no child expects you to be. What they need is grace—the same undeserved favor God extends to us. Colossians 3:13 urges, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” When you admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness, you model humility and demonstrate the transformative power of God’s love.

5. Leave a Lasting Legacy

Your work as a father extends beyond providing materially—it’s about building a foundation of love, wisdom, and faith that endures long after you’re gone. Psalm 127:3-4 compares children to arrows in the hands of a warrior, sent forth to fulfill God’s purposes. Raise your “arrows” well, equipping them to make a difference in the world. Your investment now will ripple through future generations.

Final Thought:

To every father out there: Thank you for stepping up to the calling God has placed on your life. Whether you feel equipped or inadequate, remember that God is your strength and guide. As we reminisce on this year’s Father’s Day celebration, may you find encouragement in knowing that your efforts matter—not only to your family but also to the Kingdom of God. Keep running the race set before you, trusting that the seeds you plant today will bear fruit for eternity.

Happy Father’s Day!