SINGLES-Three Things You Can Do In Your Relationship
When I started courtship with my wife years ago (1996), it was on the campus. We lived in the same compound, it was a very large one with several buildings there and there was the guy’s section and ladies’ section. So I had the opportunity of going over to her hostel and then we will walk down to the fellowship venue.
Immediately, I discovered that she did her things very slowly. This aggravated me because I was quick in doing everything. At the time, I had not read any books on temperaments and didn’t know that our differences were to balance out each other.
I started complaining and what delivered me was the book, Spirit-filled temperament. Your partner or spouse is not meant to be like you. What do you think the world would be like if everybody was like you?
Today, we are still very different in the ways we do things. I wake up with a start, with my eyes bright and my feet landing on the floor, ready to go.
My wife wakes up gradually, in stages thinking and sorting out her day, meditating and praying before her feet hit the floor. Interestingly, our first and last boys are like her. Our second boy is like me, he wakes up with a start. The catch is that you must accept your differences, work on your weaknesses and maximize your strength.
When two people come together in a relationship or courtship, there will always be issues. This is largely due to the fact that opposite attracts and of course, different backgrounds.
In marriage, where two people are living together, each with his or her ways of doing things, there will always be issues in relationships and marriage.
There will always be challenges. There will always be something to sort, discuss, solve or resolve. When two people live together, this is expected. It is for this reason that communication becomes important in any relationship and marriage.
Once communication becomes defective, there will be assumptions, and an assumption is the lowest form of knowledge, so naturally, there will be wrong conclusions. The wisdom then is to keep on talking and never keep malice with your, fiancée or friends.
1. There will be problems to SOLVE.
It simply means to find the solution to a problem or question. For example, attitudinal tendencies can become problems. There can be attitudes that have been picked up while your fiancé/ fiancée is growing up. These can form into habits that can become lifestyles.
Once there is a negative attitude, then you simply have a negative lifestyle. What do you do with such? You are to confront and solve, not deny or pretend that they are not there. Never ignore a bad attitude, solve it head-on.
2. There will be quarrels to RESOLVE.
To resolve means to reach a conclusion after a discussion or deliberation. With two different people in a relationship, there will be disagreements. But as Papa Kenneth Hagin said, you can disagree to agree! Resolve every disagreement.
Remember you are to complement each other not compete. Don’t bite or attack each other lest you swallow up yourselves, so warns the scripture. Don’t internalize unnecessarily, or else there will be an explosion one day. Resolve issues quickly, talk over them and avoid strife.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused. I have the mind of Christ.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in my inner man to do the impossible this year.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY True wisdom and real power belong to God; from him we learn how to live, and also what to live for. –Job 12:13 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Solve and resolve every issue in your relationship.
We are just a few weeks to the next half of the year, I know that there are things you wish had happened before now, but I know there are still unanswered prayers.
This morning, I bring you a word from the Lord. God yet surprise you this year!
Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and the treader of grapes him that soweth seed; and the mountains shall drop sweet wine, and all the hills shall melt. –Amos 9:13 (KJV)
God can still give that astounding result. This year God can still surprise you in your relationship. This is the year that God will establish you in His plans in the area of relationship.
I want you to go into the remaining half of this year with renewed hope, and vigour. I want your faith to be strong because it is still your year!
I want you to forget about past unpleasant experiences and trust God for the new because he can surpass your expectations!
I want you to read the above verses in The Message translation!
“Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” GOD’s Decree. “Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once–and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. –Amos 9:13 (MSG)
Yes, I come in the name of the Lord and in the power of the Spirit this morning to declare to you that things are going to happen so fast….yes because it is your year to pursue, overtake, and recover all without fail. It is a year wherein you will cease in your own strength and tap into the synergy between the humane and the divine!
Things will happen so fast, that your head will swim! My God! You won’t be able to keep up! As you are sharing one testimony, another has happened. God will visit you like never before. He will reward your faithfulness. The time to favour you is now, yea, it is the set time.
Good things will be happening at once. In the area of relationships, academics, jobs, careers, open doors and so on…grace heaped on grace…
Everywhere you look and turn into…blessings!
Believe it! Don’t doubt it. When you take God’s word as it is and run with it, it becomes your experience, because His words are so powerful!
I returned and saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong… -Ecclesiastic 9:11 (AMP)
It is not about your intellectual prowess or your business acumen; it is about the favour of God upon your life.
Thank God for the dignity of labour, but there is a difference between favour and labour!
God’s favour will distinguish you. It will set you apart.
God will favour you! He will satisfy you with His favour!
Decide that your life will be different in the remaining half of the year! Decide to enjoy all that God has for you by staying away from any form of sin and disobedience. Let your obedience be fulfilled so that the fullness of His blessings can become yours!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY This year will be a great and fulfilling year for me. I will succeed this year in Jesus name
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, I dedicate the rest of this year to you in Jesus name, and I pray that all your plans and purposes for me this year come to pass in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, and rivers in the badlands. –Isaiah 43:19 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray, Praise, and Set Goals.
SINGLES-How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
You see, the kingdom of God is perpetuated, lived, and enjoyed on the platform of consistency. It is not about what you have been doing, it is about how you have been consistent!
For example, you give today, but you stop tomorrow. Then you give again, and then you refrain. You pay your tithe for three months and then you miss the next two months.
That will not work because of unsteadiness. You must make up your mind and set your face like a flint. Yes, when you find yourself in sexual sin, and you repent genuinely, God will forgive you. But then if you keep going back to the same sin habitually, you are not being sincere and that could affect a whole lot of things.
You read your Bible for days only to miss it for some days. That is what is called inconsistency and it is a ‘waster’ of time and energy because all done in unsteadiness is more or less wasted.
Make up your mind to be steady this year. Don’t be like Reuben who thought the blessings of God is automatic, had the effrontery to take his father’s wife to bed, but at the end of the day lost his place in destiny!
I want you to succeed this year. I want all our members on KHC to succeed and I pray for you all the time, wherever you are around the world. I have a passion that you make it and do it right.
I have a passion to see your destiny bloom forth, and that is why I keep paying the price from my end here to bring you the fresh word of the living God every morning, which if you adhere to is guaranteed to see you through and keep you unstained. The word of God is that powerful!
That is why I admonish you this morning, I beseech you with the strength of my call, be consistent this year.
My desire is that you prosper and that you shine and excel in your chosen field. Don’t stop reading your Bible daily. Don’t stop praying daily. Start from this day onward.
Don’t go back into sin. If there is any sexual weakness, confront it and master it because sin shall not have dominion over you! Pay the price for your destiny! You will rejoice at the end of the day! How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
I see God’s help being made available for you as you make up your mind. Even now, I can sense fresh divine energy for you as you make a resolve this morning. I know you can sense the same thing because there is no distance in the spirit realm.
You can leave that sexual sin. You can leave those bad friends. You can stop seeing that man. You can stop seeing that lady. You can decide today. You can take charge of your destiny! You can make up your mind as Joseph did!
Be rejuvenated this day! Be freshened anew. Like the dew of heaven, it settles on you today as you make up your mind! Peace of God over you now, Shalom! Nothing missing, nothing broken! How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am steady. I am consistent.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to be consistent.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Reuben, you’re my firstborn, my strength, first proof of my manhood, at the top in honor and at the top in power, But like a bucket of water spilled, you’ll be at the top no more, Because you climbed into your father’s marriage bed, mounting that couch, and you defiled it. –Genesis 49: 3-4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘consistency’
In the early days of our marriage, I get angry very easily. It was a kind of subdued anger, not enough for me to raise my hands against my wife!
I have never done that and will never do that, no matter what! That is not a manly thing to do! It is unscriptural, and your prayers will be hindered when you raise your hands against a lady.
But, I used to be impatient. I am a quick person but my wife takes her time. I wanted to change her. When I am angry, I start lecturing my wife. After a while, I just had to change because the lecturing thing was not working. I had to learn early in marriage, to calm down when I am angry and then discuss it.
Over the years, I have come to learn to smile at some of the things that get me bothered and aggravated and looking back at those years, I wondered why I had to be angry in the first place! We were not meant to be the same way! A book on temperament I read was what delivered me!
If you are married to someone with an anger problem, here is some advice for you.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. –Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)
A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. –Proverbs 15:1 (MSG)
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for each other! Get books and read and deal with that anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. –Proverbs 16:32 (KJV)
A few things to do if you have problems with anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly on God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want to get back at your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am calm. I am not an angry person.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to resist unnecessary anger
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go –Proverbs 22:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read a book on dealing with anger
SINGLES-How To Prevent Instability in Relationships
What is the number one enemy you should fight and resist in the remaining half of the year? It is instability!
In the scripture below, Reuben who happened to be Jacobs’ first son was described in such a way as to conclude that a great destiny lies with him.
Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power: –Genesis 49:3 (KJV)
The Amplified version puts it this way:
Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the beginning (the firstfruits) of my manly strength and vigor; [your birthright gave you] the preeminence in dignity and the preeminence in power. –Genesis 49: 3 (AMP)
Those adjectives show he is a man that has been endowed and endued with greatness by virtue of his position in the family. He is a man fortified for the future, with everything he needs to succeed at his beck and call.
However, the next statement in Jacob’s mouth is a complete contradiction of the aforementioned qualities. It was almost bordering on a curse, a weakness of his that led him into an abomination and then the damning consequence of his transgression;
Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch. –Genesis 49: 4 (KJV)
Another translation puts it this way:
But you are as unsteady as water. So you won’t be first anymore. You had sex with your father’s concubine in his bed. You lay on his couch and made it ‘unclean.’–Genesis 49: 4 (NIV)
You see, Reuben committed a sexual sin. But that is not even what I want you to see. I want you to see the root of it all and How To Prevent Instability in Relationships. Why would he go and do something like that?
Why would a young girl be double dating? Why would a respected woman stoop low to sleep with her subordinate? Why would a choir leader in church sleep with choir members in church?
Reuben had a weakness he refused to confront. He had an attitude to life that was wrong and yet he didn’t deal with it until the attitude pushed him into dangerous terrains.
It is a weakness of being unstable or being unsteady!
It is the number one enemy to fight in the remaining half of the year if you notice such in your life. Why is this so?
To be continued
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am steady. I am consistent.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give the grace to be consistent.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Reuben, you’re my firstborn, my strength, first proof of my manhood, at the top in honor and at the top in power, But like a bucket of water spilled, you’ll be at the top no more, Because you climbed into your father’s marriage bed, mounting that couch, and you defiled it. –Genesis 49: 3-4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘consistency’
