by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Sep 26, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 4 minutes
Here’s an Invitation To True Love. Sandy is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
George is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr. & Mrs. Johnson want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continued, thinking that somehow, things will just work out. They are practicing what is known as an ”open relationship” where both know they are cheating on each other!
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They are all hoping God’s mercy will work for them, and really it will work for a while.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see some principles. Here’s An Invitation To True Love, The Invitation to buy:
Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. (Isaiah 55:1 KJV)
Here we see God inviting you to come and buy what you will eat and which will do you good. But these are not the kind of stuff you buy with money. These are the kinds of stuff you buy with time and with your heart.
The very first principle that will ensure success in your relationship, marriage, and life is to have a thirst for the things of God and to go to the waters.
The waters talk about the word of God. You buy revelation for your situation, not with your money but with a sincere and dedicated heart unto God.
You see, your thirst for a good life, a good marriage, a good home, and the good things in life is legitimate. Your thirst to make it, become significant in life, and be wealthy is a legitimate feeling. The hunger to quit living at the lowest rung of the ladder and move up is genuine, but you must take a step further to buy, the right way!
You buy with a good heart unto God and with spending time in God’s word regularly. You see, this is a lasting and tested principle that will quench that thirst of yours.
That thirst cannot be quenched with sex with the one you are not married to. You see, the hunger you feel in your soul, the emptiness of ideas, the feelings of loneliness that envelopes you can only be pacified and satisfied by honoring God’s invitation.
The devil has its own invitation cards as well.
It is an invitation to compromise. It is an invitation to spiritual apathy and mediocrity. It is an invitation to the road that leads to hell. The invitation card looks so alluring and beautiful, but you see, the consequence of honoring an invitation is not in the invitation card but in the person who is inviting you!
The guy who is insisting you should prove your love with sex is offering an invitation. The lady who told you to your face that you are old fashioned by staying away from sex is also offering an invitation.
Do you remember the invitation of the strange woman in Proverbs 7?
So now I’ve come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face––and here you are! I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed, colorful imported linens. My bed is aromatic with spices and exotic fragrances. Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking! My husband’s not home; he’s away on business, and he won’t be back for a month (Proverbs 7:15-20 Message)
But you see, the invitation is not always the end of the story. There is always a severe consequence when you honour the wrong invitation.
See what follows:
Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over (Proverbs 7:21-23 Message)
This is a clear invitation to adultery! Married couples, I challenge you today! Decide to refuse every wrong invitation. It is your choice! That guy or lady that seems better than your spouse is a trap! Do not get tangled in bed with the one you are not married to! The agony that follows such is intense!
God’s invitation will lead you to the good life you have always wanted.
Start the day with God’s word. Stay away from sin. Decide to live for God by refusing every compromise. Don’t play along thinking something will just happen, nothing just happens, everything is a consequence of an action, an effect after a cause!
I will conclude this morning by showing you God’s invitation through the mouth of Jesus Christ. No other invitation will beat this one!
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)
Now you won’t really understand the weight of the above invitation until you read it in another translation, and I conclude with that this morning!
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me––watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill–fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:28-30 Message)
Oh Jesus! I could preach a whole day from that. I challenge you to refuse and discard every other invitation and accept the invitation from the lover of your soul! Embracing the lover of your soul will lead you into the arms of the love of your life! Here’s An Invitation To True Love
What if you already get entangled as a single or married? Then get disentangled! It’s an issue of your decision, your God, and what God wants for your life! May God help you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I refuse to honour every wrong invitation
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to thirst and hunger after you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30 ESV)
ACTION PLAN
Tear every wrong invitation card
BIBLE READING
Eph 1
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Sep 25, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover. Mrs. Johnson was petrified. She wished the earth would open up and swallow her. She has just been embarrassed by her husband who shouted at her in the public.
She was like a chicken stripped of all its feathers, as she stood there, completely befuddled and disconcerted. If it was someone else who did this, she would have understood, but it was her husband, who was supposed to be her protector, that exposed her as it were, to preys who looked and sighed cynically.
It was a similar thing that happened between George and Sandy who were not yet married. It was George that was embarrassed in their courtship right in the market! They had gone shopping together and because George was unable to buy what Sandy wanted, she dropped her fiance like a hot potato, not considering what others thought about the situation. She left him there in the cold, and walked away, damning the consequences.
What are those things you shouldn’t do in public? Let’s dive into this.
Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover
1. Don’t talk down on your spouse in the public
Avoid this as much as you can. Do not belittle yourselves before friends or family. Get the back of one another. Defend one another and then you can talk more later in the private.
2. Do not correct your spouse publicly.
Correction can become criticism quickly depending on the scenario involved. Do not correct your spouse in the presence of friends and family. Wait till you are alone to make that correction.
3. Do not shut down or shout at your spouse privately or publicly.
This is one of the things that hurt ladies most. Shouting them down. Avoid doing that to the one you love. And of course, it is more grievous when it is the wife doing that to her husband!
4. Do not make your spouse an object of a joke. Don’t try to be comical by using your spouse as the object of laughter. There is something defective about people laughing at your spouse based on something you said. It can hurt the bone. Simply avoid such. Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will not embarrass my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to stay strong and focused on you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase. (Job 8:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Keep giving, keep serving and keep rejoicing
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
Numbers 16-18
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Sep 24, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are always at a loggerhead. They never agreed. Every statement is a sore point from where conflict arises and intensifies. “I don’t want peace,” “I don’t want peace,” the popular soundtrack on social media are the words that best describe their lives and marriage.
As Mr. And Mrs. Johnson sat before me in the office, I was able to find some habits that are the root causes of their constant imbroglio. It was a long therapy session, but we were able to identify the problems!
There are a few words of wisdom I offered to them. I have been married for twenty-two years and I will be fifty next month, so I have garnered a few things along the line. Below are some of the advice I gave them.
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
1. Do not report your spouse to your parents or in-laws.
It wouldn’t always work out. Every parent is sentimental towards their children. It is just natural. The bias is as sure as your palms.
Emotions will flare, and there would be bias.
What happens mostly is that you report to them when there are issues, but you don’t call them back when you settle the issues. So they keep making up their minds over time. You keep feeding them with negative stories and you know what, words are so powerful. In no time, if they are not cautious, they will continue to regurgitate all you fed them with and that would be toxic to your marriage.
The only time you should report to parents is when it is only the parents that your spouse listens to.
As singles, you are not yet married, and you are already reporting each other to your prospective in-laws. It is not a good way to go.
It’s akin to one cooking food that he won’t be able to eat.
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
2. Do not report your spouse to your colleagues or boss.
If you do, the devil can take advantage of the situation and set you up for an emotional affair.
Once there is an emotional affair, you are only a few touches away from a full-blown adulterous affair.
The beak cake you don’t want to eat, don’t fry it! Reporting your spouse or your loved one continually is a breach of the covenant. Imagine someone hearing a one-sided story many times. The advice you will be offered will be imbalanced and the emotional dependency that will be created from such a relationship will be parasitic at the end of the day.
For singles, in courtship, how do you take advice about your relationship from a friend who is not in any relationship? Something is not quite right! Look for someone who has done what you are trying to do!
Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
3. Do not manipulate your spouse emotionally
Once your spouse says something or does something that does not resonate with you, you simply shut down and withdraw to your shell.
It is more or less like breeding strife. The devil can take advantage of this type of emotional manipulation and wreak even more havoc.
This is not the right thing to do as it affects your prayer life!
Stay together!
May God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am wise
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray to God to open your eyes
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Pro 6:23 (MSG) For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray for direction
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
Numbers 14
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Sep 23, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. Mrs. Johnson became distracted and was falling in love with another man at her work place. She really loved God and yet she was sliding down the drain. She couldn’t believe it. Her mind was convoluted, and her emotions were like a roller coaster. She continually expressed her situation to her husband in very subtle statements, but her insensitive husband couldn’t decode the precarious situation.
On the other hand, George who was seeing Sandy was getting distracted by another lady. He tried getting attention of Sandy so as to fend off the new feelings, but Sandy did not have time for him, hence his vulnerability was amplified.
The reality is that statements made by singles in courtship or those married often show the depth of the trap within a relationship or marriage.
Even when you are not in any relationship as a single, your utterances can often reveal the kind of issues you have and that you need to address.
It happens all the time. Born again or not. Distractions set in. Traps come in various forms. Attacks in the mind and against the marriage are incessant.
Adulterous traps, akin to traps used to catch rats, are demonically placed all over. Snares, on almost every turn.
There are statements that your spouse or lover makes that show he or she is being distracted and needs your attention. Don’t ignore your spouse at such moments because you are needed to salvage the situation.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore
What are those statements?
Here we go.
1. You don’t have time for me again
You are always around your spouse and yet he or she makes this statement? You need to pay attention lest somebody take your place emotionally. This statement is calling for you to make time available so your lover or spouse can have reassurance that will help deflect the new rush of feelings!
Do not ignore it!
Do not defend!
Do not argue!
Do not turn it into ridicule.
Just make time and have some deep conversations.
Let me drop a word for singles that are not in any relationship. When a single friend says this to you, he or she is trying to show interest and is weighing your reaction to know whether to pursue or retreat! Testing the waters!
So if you don’t like the person and you are not considering any commitments, you can reply with
“Which time now? I be your boyfriend / girlfriend?”
That is enough red light!
But if you really love the person, then you say something like this:
“Haba! You know that you are special to me, don’t you?:”
The person will get the green light to proceed.
When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore
2. You are far away from me
When your spouse makes this statement, don’t take it lightly. Don’t fight or turn it into a quarrel. Listen to what is being said and what is not being said.
It is possible to be physically close to the one you love, and yet be far away emotionally. That is why couples who sleep on the same bed daily can often complain of loneliness. Sounds ridiculous? It’s the reality!
This person is telling you that the farther away you are, emotionally, the bigger the gap you leave for others to fill.
Married couples, prioritize your relationship with your spouse.
For those in a relationship, and not yet married, there is a twist to this statement. You need to find out if the statement is genuine or simply a call to give in to sex. Some tact and wisdom are needed here. Some decoding of words, and finding out of motives is required here.
When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. I will stop here and continue later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am not deceived
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, lead me in the right way!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Psa 74:20 (MSG) Remember your promises; the city is in darkness, the countryside violent.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray in the Spirit
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
Exodus 7
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Sep 22, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have not spoken to each other for one month! What? Are you whining me ni? And yet they are both praying daily! Don’t they understand?
There are the good days in marriage and those “bad” days when issues arise between married couples. There are days singles in courtship go out for ice cream, eat out, to cinemas, and all that and there are days calls are not picked up! Killer attitudes in relationships and marriage must not be allowed to seep in!
Wise couples make up their mind that nothing will come between them. Foolish couples gravitate to the times and allow situations to determine their joy.
It is wise to work together and get past “feelings!” It is a fool who fights and bickers over everything.
When the couple is financially buoyant, husband and wife are friends. When the finances are down, there is tactical withdrawal on one or both sides.
Love in marriage should not be based on what is available or what is not.
When either of the spouses starts feeling cheated, it is a fundamental and foundational issue whether they really love themselves genuinely.
If husband and wife have a mutual understanding that they are one, it becomes easier to handle these tense moments.
Selfishness has many flavours. The husband or wife is not complaining, but there is uneasy silence and withdrawal. At the end of the day, they often mess up their faith and their trust in God.
The devil loves such moments. He brings all kinds of suggestions and lies. But then, the devil has nothing to bring to the table except falsehood.
Oh, that husband and wife learn to be sensitive to these antics of the devil.
Be wise. Be prayerful. Never conclude and never think evil of your spouse.
Every time thoughts seep in that your spouse who has been good has suddenly become evil and wicked, know that the devil is at work.
You must be wise and learn to discern the antics of the devil and then reject them.
Singles, beware of sinful traps. These traps slow things down. They often hinder prayers! It is absurd to be praying and fasting for who to marry and at the same time you are giving your body out to hold down potential guys.
“If I no give am, wetin he want, he go leave me na!”
“Make in go na! Abeg!” In name be Abedne-go!
Dear singles, hear me, the one who really loves you will not insist on sex or trap you with sex! Both the guy or the lady can be guilty of this! There is a difference between sex, love, and lust!
Singles and Married, beware of self-deception. These are Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. You are in strife but you tell yourself all is well. Religious spirits collude with self-deception and there will be a shipwreck of faith. Fasting and prayer become a waste of time because the heart is not right.
Some of the things you get angry over are things that should bring out compassion in you towards your spouse of lover if you indeed love yourselves.
And in these vulnerable moments, know that the devil can easily set you in direct or indirect adultery.
Suddenly enjoying the company of the opposite sex at such moments shows that hell is strategizing over you. Going a step further into a discussion at emotional levels, laughing together, throwing banters at each other while you come home to your spouse grouchy and irritated are all orchestrations of hell to thwart God’s purpose, frustrate your prayers, and make you a loser at the end.
Be wise. Be sensitive. Be selfless. Be spiritual.
And what makes this even more intense, is that all prayers at such moments of tactical strife and buried irritations are truncated.
God looks into the heart. So, the scripture aptly says
Pro 4:23 (KJV) Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
What is going on in your heart?
Somebody who had a revelation of heaven said that our thoughts in heaven are louder than our voices on earth. If that is the case, what do you think you are saying to all of heaven in your thoughts? Would you be proud of them? Selah!
I pray that God will give you more understanding and strength to make needed changes. Let go of these killer attitudes and thank me later!
Be blessed in your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
My heart is right toward my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Gal 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray for your spouse
READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR
Job 40 – 42
