Are You In Love With a Concept or a Person? Part 2

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Are You In Love With a Concept or a Person? Part 2

Loving a concept instead of a person sets the stage for disappointment, resentment, and unmet expectations.

5. Are You Projecting Your Own Needs Onto Them?

Sometimes, we mistake our longing for fulfillment, validation, or security as love for another person. In these cases, we unintentionally burden them with responsibilities that belong to God alone. Isaiah 41:10 assures us, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.”

• Signs of Projection:
  • You rely on them to meet emotional, spiritual, or financial needs they weren’t designed to fulfill.
  • You feel incomplete or lost without them, placing undue pressure on the relationship.
  • You use them to fill a void that only God can satisfy.
• Solution: Turn to God first for wholeness and fulfillment. Allow your relationship to complement your faith, not replace it. Trust Him to provide what only He can give.

6. Does Reality Align with Your Expectations?

A key indicator of whether you’re loving a person or a concept is how well reality aligns with your expectations. Discrepancies between your idealized version of them and who they truly are can lead to frustration and disillusionment. James 1:22 urges us to “be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

• Signs of Misalignment:
  • You constantly compare them to others or an imagined “perfect” partner.
  • You dismiss their input because it doesn’t fit your preconceived notions.
  • You resist accepting them as they are, clinging instead to your fantasy.
• Solution: Adjust your perspective to align with reality. Celebrate their authentic self rather than clinging to unrealistic ideals. Remember, God created each person uniquely, and loving them means embracing their God-given design.

7. Are You Building a Relationship or Chasing a Dream?

Healthy relationships are built on shared experiences, communication, and commitment. When you’re chasing a dream or concept, however, the focus shifts away from nurturing the present moment toward achieving some future ideal. Ecclesiastes 3:1 encourages us to embrace “a time for everything under heaven.”

• Signs You’re Chasing a Dream:
  • You’re overly focused on milestones (e.g., engagement, marriage) rather than enjoying the journey.
  • You idealize your future together while neglecting current challenges.
  • You avoid addressing conflicts because they threaten your vision.
• Solution: Be present in the here and now. Cultivate gratitude for today’s blessings and tackle problems head-on. A strong relationship grows through intentional effort, not wishful thinking.

To build a thriving relationship—whether dating or married—you must commit to seeing, valuing, and cherishing the real person in front of you. As you navigate this process, lean on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which describes love as patient, kind, truthful, and enduring.

Ask yourself honestly: Am I loving a concept or a person? If you discover areas where you’ve been clinging to a fantasy, take steps to refocus on authenticity, humility, and grace. Invite God into your relationship, trusting that He will guide you toward genuine connection and lasting love.

Remember, people are beautifully imperfect reflections of God’s image—not projects to mold or fantasies to chase. By loving others as they are, you honor both their humanity and the Creator who made them. And in doing so, you open the door to a relationship that is rich, real, and deeply fulfilling.

Are You In Love With a Concept or a Person? Part 2