5 Things to Do When You Know Your Future Spouse (Who Is Oblivious)

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5 Things to Do When You Know Your Future Spouse (Who Is Oblivious)

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It’s an exciting, yet challenging situation: you believe you’ve met the person God has for you, but they seem completely unaware of your feelings or intentions. While it’s natural to feel eager or even anxious, remember that relationships built on mutual understanding and shared faith are worth waiting for. Here are five godly steps to take when you know your future spouse is oblivious to your perspective.

1. Pray for Clarity and Wisdom

Before taking any action, bring the situation before God in prayer. Ask Him to confirm whether this person truly is your future spouse and to grant both of you clarity about His will. Pray also for wisdom on how to approach the relationship without pressuring or overwhelming them.

James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.”

Your prayers can cover areas such as their spiritual growth, openness to a potential relationship, and protection from misunderstandings. Trust that God is at work, even if the other person isn’t yet aware of His plans.

2. Focus on Building Genuine Friendship

Instead of rushing into romance, focus on cultivating a strong, authentic friendship. Friendships provide a foundation for deeper connection and allow you to demonstrate Christlike character over time.

Proverbs 18:24 says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Show them loyalty, kindness, and support without ulterior motives.

As you spend time together, let your actions speak louder than words. Be intentional about learning their interests, values, and dreams. This builds trust and creates space for them to see you as someone they admire and respect—not just someone pursuing them romantically.

3. Discern Their Readiness for Commitment

Sometimes, the reason someone seems oblivious is that they’re not ready for a serious relationship. Take time to observe where they are in life spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Are they actively seeking God? Do they prioritize personal growth and maturity? If they aren’t in a place to commit, forcing the issue could lead to frustration or harm.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Respect their journey and timing while continuing to grow yourself. A healthy relationship requires two people who are equally prepared to move forward.

4. Communicate with Grace and Humility

When the moment feels right—and after much prayer—consider sharing your heart with them. Approach the conversation humbly, focusing on your feelings rather than pressuring them to respond immediately. For example, you might say, “I value our friendship deeply, and I feel led to share that I see potential for something more between us. I understand if this is unexpected, and I want to honor whatever your thoughts are.”

Communicating openly doesn’t mean demanding an answer; it means giving them space to process and respond in their own time.

Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to use words that build up and give grace to those who hear.

5. Trust God to Work in Their Heart

Ultimately, only God can change hearts and reveal His plan to others. If the person remains oblivious or uncertain, trust that He is working behind the scenes.

Psalm 37:5 assures us, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will do this.”

Avoid manipulating situations or trying to force intimacy. Instead, surrender the outcome to God and continue living faithfully in the meantime.

Use this season to deepen your walk with Christ, serve others, and prepare yourself for marriage. Whether this person becomes your spouse or not, staying obedient to God ensures that you’ll be ready for whatever He has planned.

Knowing your future spouse who is oblivious to your feelings can test your patience and faith, but it’s also an opportunity to trust God’s timing and provision. By praying, building friendship, discerning readiness, communicating gracefully, and trusting His sovereignty, you position yourself to honor both the other person and the Lord.

Remember, marriage is a covenant designed by God, and both parties must be willing participants in His plan. Keep your focus on being the best version of yourself and walking in alignment with His purposes. Even if the path seems unclear now, be assured that God is faithful to guide you step by step toward the future He has prepared for you.