Instead of vague “looking for adventure” nonsense, you’re honest: “I’m looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. I value faith, family, and Friday nights in, more than clubbing.”
2) On the First Date:
You’re upfront about your non-negotiables: “Faith is really important to me. I’m looking for someone who shares that foundation for my love life.”
3) In Early Conversations:
You share your actual life goals, past struggles, and what you’ve learned, not a sanitized highlight reel.
4) When Conflicts Arise:
You address them immediately with kindness and clarity, rather than letting resentment build. God doesn’t just recommend honesty, He commands it as the foundation of all healthy relationships:
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:6-7)
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. (Proverbs 24:26)
When someone values your honesty, that’s when you know you’ve found something real. Yes, it requires courage. Yes, it means risking rejection. But you gain the possibility of real, lasting love with someone who actually knows you and chooses you anyway.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)
Maybe it’s time to stop hiding and get loud about who you really are. The right person isn’t looking for a perfect performance; they’re looking for an honest heart, and that’s something worth finding.
Why Radical Honesty is Revolutionizing Relationships
The dating game is changing. And honestly? It’s about time. Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Three months into a relationship, you discover your partner wants completely different things in life. Or worse, they’ve been hiding who they really are, wearing a mask just to impress you. Sound familiar?
Welcome to 2025, where a new trend called “Loud Looking” is flipping the script on modern dating. And surprisingly, it looks a lot like what the Bible has been teaching for thousands of years.
What is “Loud Looking?
Loud Looking is the practice of being radically transparent from day one. No games, pretence, or holding back your true intentions, flaws, or deal-breakers until you’re safely in a relationship. It’s about being loud and clear about who you are and what you want immediately.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.(Ephesians 4:25)
God designed us to be truthful with each other because we’re interconnected. When you hide your true self from someone you’re dating, you’re not just being dishonest, you’re preventing a real connection from happening.
For years, dating culture has taught us to:
Hide our “crazy” until they’re hooked
Downplay our needs to seem “low maintenance”
Pretend we don’t want commitment when we actually do
Filter ourselves to be more “dateable”
The reality is that you will attract someone who likes the filtered version of you, not the real you. Then you spend months or years trying to maintain an exhausting performance, only to have it all fall apart when reality catches up.
Jesus had something to say about this, too:
Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. (Matthew 5:37)
Stop playing games. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Be who you are.
Tomorrow, I will share with us what “loud looking” looks like.
Yesterday, we talked about some ‘dos’ in godly dating. Today, we will explore the ‘don’ts’.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.2 Corinthians 6:14
1. Don’t trade your values to keep someone.
If you have to compromise your convictions to make a relationship work, then that relationship is costing you too much. Love that forces you to disobey God is not love—it’s bondage.
2. Don’t ignore the red flags
That uneasy feeling you keep brushing aside? That habit that bothers you, but you convince yourself, “they’ll change”? Those things matter. Red flags ignored today usually become heartbreak tomorrow.
3. Don’t rush the intimacy.
Love takes time to grow. When physical or emotional intimacy comes too quickly, it blinds you from seeing clearly. Slow down. If it’s real, it won’t die because you took your time.
4. Don’t date just because you feel lonely.
Loneliness has pushed many people into relationships that were never God’s plan. If you are dating only to fill a void, you’ll end up settling for less than you deserve. Learn to enjoy your own company with God first.
5. Don’t let people’s pressure dictate your choices.
Family, friends, even culture will try to rush you—“When will you marry? Why are you still single?” But remember: it’s your life, and it belongs to God. His timing may not match their timeline, but it is always perfect.
Conclusion
Godly dating is not about being uptight or following endless rules. It’s about being wise, protecting your heart, and building something that glorifies God.
Dating is one of those things that everyone has advice about. Some people make it sound casual, like it is not that deep, while others overcomplicate it. But here’s the truth: dating matters because your heart is involved, and who you give your heart to can shape your life.
God never meant for dating to feel like guesswork. He gave us principles to protect us, not to cage us.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.2 Corinthians 6:14
Let’s talk through some very practical “do’s that can help you keep God at the center while protecting your heart.
1. Pray first, not last.
Too often, people start dating and then only run to God when things get messy. But prayer should come first. Before saying “yes” to someone, talk to God about it. While you are in it, keep praying.
Prayer keeps you sensitive to warning signs, helps you see beyond emotions, and anchors you when things get shaky.
2. Be yourself, don’t fake it
Do not try to act like someone you are not just to impress the other person. If you are passionate about your faith, say it. If you have boundaries, be open about them.
Pretending only leads to disappointment later. The right relationship will allow you to be fully you without shame.
3. Watch their actions, not just what they say.
It is easy for someone to say all the right things, but words without action are empty. Pay attention: Do they live out their faith, or is it just talk?
Actions will always reveal character more than sweet promises.
4. Push each other closer to God.
A godly relationship should make you grow spiritually, not shrink. If praying together, studying Scripture, or encouraging each other in your walk with God feels awkward in your relationship, pause and think.
The best relationships are the ones that don’t just make you happy but also make you holy.
Boundaries are not about fear or being “too spiritual.” They are about respect—for yourself, for the other person, and for God. Talk about them early. Stick to them.
When you cross them, regret often follows. When you honor them, peace follows.
6 Smart Ways to Support an Insecure Fiancé Before Saying ‘I Do’
Insecurity in a relationship can show up in many ways — jealousy, control, fear of losing you, constant suspicion, or a need for reassurance. If you notice your fiancé struggles with insecurity, don’t ignore it. It’s better to face it now than to fight it later in marriage.
Here are six practical ways to handle it wisely:
1. Don’t Take It Personal — Understand the Root
Insecurity often has a root — past hurt, rejection, family issues, or low self-worth. Instead of getting defensive, take time to understand where it’s coming from. Ask gentle questions, listen, and show empathy.
A soft answer turns away wrath. – Proverbs 15:1
Instead of saying, “You’re too jealous!”, you can say, “I notice you get worried when I talk to others; is there something I can do to help you feel more secure?”
2. Reassure Him — But Don’t Feed the Fear
Everyone needs reassurance, but constant validation can create dependency. Be affirming without encouraging insecurity.
Encourage one another and build each other up. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Occasionally remind him that you love and value him, but also encourage him to find his confidence in God, not in your attention alone.
3. Set Clear Boundaries Early
If insecurity leads to controlling behavior (checking your phone, monitoring your moves, isolating you), set healthy boundaries now. It’s a red flag if it goes unchecked.
Let your ‘Yes’ be yes and your ‘No,’ no. – Matthew 5:37
Explain that trust is the foundation of love, and boundaries are not rejection — they’re protection for both hearts.
4. Pray Together About It
Bring the issue before God in prayer. The Holy Spirit can do what words cannot. Insecurity is often a heart issue that only God can fully heal.
Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.– 1 Peter 5:7
Make prayer a regular part of your relationship. It keeps hearts open and teaches both of you to depend on God, not each other.
5. Encourage Personal Growth and Healing
Don’t try to fix him — encourage him to grow. Suggest counseling, mentorship, or personal reflection.
The truth shall make you free. – John 8:32
If he’s open, suggest premarital counseling or reading books on emotional maturity together. Growth before marriage brings peace after marriage.
6. Know When to Pause or Walk Away
If insecurity turns toxic — constant suspicion, verbal abuse, or control — don’t ignore it. Marriage doesn’t cure insecurity; it magnifies it.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. – Proverbs 4:23
Seek godly counsel. It’s better to delay a wedding than to live in lifelong emotional bondage.
Final Thought:
True love is not built on fear but on trust. You can support your fiancé, but he must also take responsibility for his healing. Build your relationship on God’s truth, not insecurity.
6 Smart Ways to Support an Insecure Fiancé Before Saying ‘I Do’
