5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Ola would not speak to his wife for days. He buried himself in his work. Outwardly, the Johnson family was the quintessential couple everybody admired. Their marriage seems planned out of the very heavens. They were models to younger people as their PDA was simply top notch!
But, all that was pulchritude! Ola Johnson was not happy! Alone in the house, they despised each other! Ola would not speak to his wife for days. Kelly Johnson was just simply confused how his once romantic husband had hibernated and shut down his emotions towards her.
They acted good in public but were wrecks in the home. They maintained social media life while their reality is tearing apart!
Strife became the order of the day. Little actions would lead to massive provocations. They both knew they won’t last that way. Ola would not bulge. Their sex life was emotionless and the few times they made love, Kelly could almost be reading a novel while they were at it!
What happened?
Yesterday we looked at 5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. If you missed it read it HERE
Today, we are looking at 5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Well, Ola Johnson had been beaten with words. Being a chronic phlegmatic, and his wife the sharp-mouthed choleric, the only thing he felt safe to do was to resort to intimacy anorexia. He simply withheld his affection because he felt disrespected. He believed his wife would not change!
But what were the mistakes of Kelly Johnson? These are some of the words she used over and over again!
5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage
1. I feel you are not being a man in this marriage. That would certainly crush his ego and he would be helpless because we are dealing with personalities here
2. Why can’t you learn from that Mr so and so? Never compare your husband with any other man. The results will be unpleasant.
3. With the way you are going, I am not sure you can provide for me and the family Never say this to your fiance or husband. If you know you love him and you are led by God, what you need to do is to intercede for one another.
4. You are just slow and lazy. The only thing you know to do is sleep and watch football. Your fiance or husband will not take likely to such words repeated in his ears. Those words won’t make him to change either.
5. I made a mistake when I married you. I never suffered like this in my parents’ house. When you know you could not take care of me, why did you marry me? If you understand one flesh principle in marriage, you won’t even talk like this!
These are the 5 Things Women Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Read 1 Pet 3: 2 in Amplified Version!
I am going to stop here this morning. Note that this devotional is not to justify the unhealthy habits of spouses but to point your attention to the fact that wrong, negative, caustic words will only jeopardize the marriage more.
Good morning!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will respect my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom to treat my spouse right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:2 (AMPC) When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Change your method and be better to your spouse
5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Bode and Sade got married a few years back. Bode was the quiet easy going gentle giant while Sade is the vivacious hard laughing babe! And that was the attraction. Bode wanted an exciting wife to complement his inward introvert nature. And he got that for a few days only after their wedding.
Today, Sade is a shadow of herself. Bode is frustrated and Sade is hurt and bitter. What happened? Well, life happened, temperamental weaknesses visited and hibernated reactions came to life.
What really happened? They both came into the marriage with high expectations. They’ve had their fair share of quarrels here and there, but those were just child’s play compared to what they are experiencing.
Sade didn’t like harsh words because she was raised in a family where one single abusive word was never used.
Bode grew in an environment where he was cooked with negative utterances and vituperations.
Bode gave what he had. Sade reacted by withdrawing into her shell. Every excitement which Bode liked disappeared. Bode was frustrated and dished out more of the only thing he knew, harsh words.
He didn’t understand why just “stating the facts” can affect his wife. He believes his wife didn’t want to hear the truth!
He obviously forgot the scripture that says
Eph 4:15 (KJV) But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
The truth must be spoken in love! Do you think your fiancee is reacting? Is your wife no longer talking and she is withdrawn? The reason might not be far-fetched.
Here are five examples of words you should not say to your wife or fiancee
5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage
I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist The priest of the house should not say something like this.
I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage She would make more mistakes if you are not careful
You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage You might end up having exactly what you said. Words are powerful.
What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are sure you are okay? She would lose her self-esteem and have self-doubts.
I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad! Comparison in marriage is sacrilege!
These are just a few examples of Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. These kinds of statements will be like piercings of the swords in the heart of your wife. Sometimes it is the other way around and it is the husband on receiving end.
Whichever way, you are where you are today because of the words you have spoken. Start changing your vocabulary and let them be aligned with God’s word!
May God grant you grace to be a gracious person, whose tongue is bridled in your relationship or marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will speak healthy words.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bridle my tongue and take every pain away in my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 4:15 (GNB) Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t talk when you are angry
The Bizarre Truth Behind Marital Offences. Mr. and Mrs. George have never had one week of peace since their wedding. One thing would happen, and they will get offended and stay in strife. Most of their marriage days have been filled with bickering, bitterness, and offences.
In the same vein, Debby and Craig fought most of the time in their courtship. They tagged along hoping things will change for the better when they wed and start living together. They should have consulted with the Georges to know that marriage does not annihilate offences.
What is the bizarre truth behind offences? I taught this message yesterday in church, on spur of the moment and this will bless you!
Take a look at the Holy Writ!
Mar 4:16-17 (KJV) And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; [17] And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ARISETH FOR THE WORD’S SAKE, immediately they are OFFENDED.
In the above verse, affliction or persecution comes not because your spouse is unloving, not because your spouse is insensitive and whatever reasons you may proffer, they come for the word’s sake! And because that same word or revelation is not rooted, offence comes! And the seed of the word is lost and there is no fruit to show for it.
Let me give a practical example. Your spouse or your fiancee does something so annoyingly and refuses to ask for forgiveness and he’s even blaming you for it. You are wondering why your lover or spouse can’t own up. You are really angry and you get offended. You refuse to talk to him or her. Strife sets in, offence comes. Now, here is the bizarre truth. All that happened, not because your spouse is wicked or bad and all that, but because the devil doesn’t want any fruit from the word you heard last Sunday, midweek, or from your personal study!
Afflictions and persecution come for the word’s sake!
Amplified Bible puts it this way; …when trouble or persecution arises on account of the Word, they immediately are offended (become displeased, indignant, resentful) and they stumble and fall away.
You will not stumble! You will not fall away!
Be wise not to allow stuff between you and your lover or spouse to degenerate into strife! Forgive quickly!
Singles who are not in any relationship, refuse offences from colleagues, family, or friends.
Offence will stifle, choke, and strangulate the seed of the word, prophetic proclamations, and blessings from becoming a reality!
It is not your boss, friend, lover, or spouse that is the problem, it is on account of the word! This is The Bizarre Truth Behind Marital Offences!
May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be offended
PRAYER FOR THE DAY My fruit will not be lost in Jesus name!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mar 4:17 (CEV) But they don’t have any roots, and they don’t last very long. As soon as life gets hard or the message gets them in trouble, they give up.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY End all strife and bickering
How To End Quarrels And Bitterness. Ade and sally’s relationship was riddled with unending quarrels. They practically fought all through their courtship days. They hoped it would stop after the wedding, but alas, it intensified. They were both churchgoers, perceived as children of God, but filled with bitterness.
Somehow, they hoped things would change as each of them maintained their stances. They both had points to prove but nothing changed.
The reality is that wedding changes nobody. If you fight frequently during your courtship, you would most likely continue the quarrel party after the wedding.
Frequent quarrels should not be ignored or seen as normal as singles. Pay attention to it and seek help.
Yes, there will be friction that comes from male-female differences and temperamental differences, but there has to be a way of resolving those differences and forgiving each other as quickly as you can.
Bitterness in your relationship and marriage will slow you down, It will defile you and defile everybody around you.
It will create loopholes for the devil to exploit and create cracks that will be expanded.
How To End Quarrels And Bitterness
Heb 12:15 (KJV) Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
Can you see that? It will cause grace to fail, it will trouble you and defile many others!
Bitterness is a no no!
Bitterness is defined as “anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment”
It includes extreme hatred and wickedness.
Now you don’t need this in your marriage! You can see that it is a tool in the hands of devil.
You are in courtship, you have not been calling each other and yet you want to get married? What’s that?
You are married and you sustain animosity for months at a time! Eh! You are not only going to ground your prayers, but you are also going to stop financial flow!
What has your spouse done! You must forgive, or a lot of things will simply be slowed down!
In your marriage, you should work at it! Both of you. Don’t just look on till it degenerates to a point you won’t like and thing get stagnant and messy! This is How To End Quarrels And Bitterness
Seek help. Seek counsel!
I pray God will grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will not be bitter. I forgive easily
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy the spirit behind incessant quarrels in Jesus’ name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 12:15 (AMPC) Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God’s grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it-
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY End all bitterness and forgive
Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry. Did Apostle Paul actually say this? Yes, he did. He was actually asking the singles to stay single if they can and the married to stay married and not contemplate separation or divorce. Why would Apostle Paul say this?
Let’s look at the context in which he said this.
1Co 7:27 (MSG) Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married.
Now, I already know all the singles here want to get married, so that is not my subject of contemplation this morning.
The point I am trying to make is found in the next verse:
Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry 1Co 7:28 (MSG) But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
Did you see that phrase?
All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time!
Wow! Is there really additional stress that comes with marriage?
Well, the reality is that it is true!
Since you want to get married, (otherwise, you wouldn’t be on the Kisses and Huggs Club site, lol) what we should focus on is finding out what this stress is and how to manage the stress
The stress is what comes as a result of temperamental differences, man-woman differences, the needs of men versus the needs of women, and so on and so forth. This is Why Apostle Paul Said You Should Not Marry
And you know what, these differences can be very overwhelming and have led to separation and divorce in some couples. This additional stress can make you do what you don’t intend to do!
This additional stress comes when you refuse to learn the ropes. They come when you are not accountable to anyone in marriage. They come when you are unloving and not submissive. They come when you are trying to prove points in marriage. They come when you don’t understand that marriage is not a place to demand your rights, but a place to please your spouse after pleasing God. They come when you won’t love your wife the way the Bible recommended, and when you won’t submit to your husband the way the Bible advocated.
Prepare yourselves singles. Read all you can read. Go for wisdom. Work on your character. Develop a strong relationship with God. How do you relate with your roommates or colleagues at work now? Are they complaining about specific attitudes? That is what your future spouse would likely complain about after “eyes don clear!” Don’t ever go into marriage without proper Marriage Counseling! That you say apart is no longer an excuse, there are online Pre-Wedding Counseling that is comprehensive enough to give you a head start.
Married couples? Don’t be stressed out. Enjoy the wife of your youth. Make up your mind not to lose your joy! Treat one another tenderly. TLC – Tender Loving Care! Invest in your marriage. Go for Marriage Therapy when things are going South! When things are not working, don’t ignore or look on, or they will get worse, don’t just pray alone, learn, read, research, and go for Professional Therapy if need be!
May God bless your relationship and marriage!
I pray God will help you indeed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow God’s leading for my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me into your marital plan for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 7:27 (TPT) If you are married, stay in the marriage. If you are single, don’t rush into marriage.
