Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover. Mrs. Johnson was petrified. She wished the earth would open up and swallow her. She has just been embarrassed by her husband who shouted at her in the public.

She was like a chicken stripped of all its feathers, as she stood there, completely befuddled and disconcerted. If it was someone else who did this, she would have understood, but it was her husband, who was supposed to be her protector, that exposed her as it were, to preys who looked and sighed cynically.

It was a similar thing that happened between George and Sandy who were not yet married. It was George that was embarrassed in their courtship right in the market! They had gone shopping together and because George was unable to buy what Sandy wanted, she dropped her fiance like a hot potato, not considering what others thought about the situation. She left him there in the cold, and walked away, damning the consequences.

What are those things you shouldn’t do in public? Let’s dive into this. 

Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

1. Don’t talk down on your spouse in the public
Avoid this as much as you can.  Do not belittle yourselves before friends or family. Get the back of one another. Defend one another and then you can talk more later in the private. 

2. Do not correct your spouse publicly.
Correction can become criticism quickly depending on the scenario involved. Do not correct your spouse in the presence of friends and family. Wait till you are alone to make that correction.

3. Do not shut down or shout at your spouse privately or publicly.
This is one of the things that hurt ladies most. Shouting them down. Avoid doing that to the one you love. And of course, it is more grievous when it is the wife doing that to her husband!

4. Do not make your spouse an object of a joke. Don’t try to be comical by using your spouse as the object of laughter. There is something defective about people laughing at your spouse based on something you said.  It can hurt the bone. Simply avoid such. Don’t Do These In Public To Your Lover

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will not embarrass my spouse

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to stay strong and focused on you 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase. (Job 8:7 KJV)

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Keep giving, keep serving and keep rejoicing

READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 
Numbers 16-18



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Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are always at a loggerhead. They never agreed. Every statement is a sore point from where conflict arises and intensifies. “I don’t want peace,” “I don’t want peace,” the popular soundtrack on social media are the words that best describe their lives and marriage.

As Mr. And Mrs. Johnson sat before me in the office, I was able to find some habits that are the root causes of their constant imbroglio. It was a long therapy session, but we were able to identify the problems!

There are a few words of wisdom I offered to them. I have been married for twenty-two years and I will be fifty next month, so I have garnered a few things along the line. Below are some of the advice I gave them.

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage
1. Do not report your spouse to your parents or in-laws.
It wouldn’t always work out. Every parent is sentimental towards their children. It is just natural. The bias is as sure as your palms. 

Emotions will flare, and there would be bias.

What happens mostly is that you report to them when there are issues, but you don’t call them back when you settle the issues. So they keep making up their minds over time. You keep feeding them with negative stories and you know what, words are so powerful. In no time, if they are not cautious, they will continue to regurgitate all you fed them with and that would be toxic to your marriage.

The only time you should report to parents is when it is only the parents that your spouse listens to.

As singles, you are not yet married, and you are already reporting each other to your prospective in-laws. It is not a good way to go.

It’s akin to one cooking food that he won’t be able to eat.

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

2. Do not report your spouse to your colleagues or boss.

If you do, the devil can take advantage of the situation and set you up for an emotional affair.

Once there is an emotional affair, you are only a few touches away from a full-blown adulterous affair.

The beak cake you don’t want to eat, don’t fry it! Reporting your spouse or your loved one continually is a breach of the covenant. Imagine someone hearing a one-sided story many times. The advice you will be offered will be imbalanced and the emotional dependency that will be created from such a relationship will be parasitic at the end of the day.

For singles, in courtship, how do you take advice about your relationship from a friend who is not in any relationship? Something is not quite right! Look for someone who has done what you are trying to do!

Avoid These Mistakes In Marriage

3. Do not manipulate your spouse emotionally

Once your spouse says something or does something that does not resonate with you, you simply shut down and withdraw to your shell.

It is more or less like breeding strife. The devil can take advantage of this type of emotional manipulation and wreak even more havoc. 

This is not the right thing to do as it affects your prayer life!

Stay together!

May God bless your marriage!

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am wise

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray to God to open your eyes 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Pro 6:23 (MSG)  For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray for direction  

READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 
Numbers 14



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When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore

When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore

Reading Time: 3 minutes

When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. Mrs. Johnson became distracted and was falling in love with another man at her work place. She really loved God and yet she was sliding down the drain. She couldn’t believe it. Her mind was convoluted, and her emotions were like a roller coaster. She continually expressed her situation to her husband in very subtle statements, but her insensitive husband couldn’t decode the precarious situation.

On the other hand, George who was seeing Sandy was getting distracted by another lady. He tried getting attention of Sandy so as to fend off the new feelings, but Sandy did not have time for him, hence his vulnerability was amplified.

The reality is that statements made by singles in courtship or those married often show the depth of the trap within a relationship or marriage.

Even when you are not in any relationship as a single, your utterances can often reveal the kind of issues you have and that you need to address.

It happens all the time. Born again or not. Distractions set in. Traps come in various forms. Attacks in the mind and against the marriage are incessant.

Adulterous traps, akin to traps used to catch rats, are demonically placed all over. Snares, on almost every turn.

There are statements that your spouse or lover makes that show he or she is being distracted and needs your attention. Don’t ignore your spouse at such moments because you are needed to salvage the situation.

When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore

What are those statements?

Here we go.

1. You don’t have time for me again

You are always around your spouse and yet he or she makes this statement? You need to pay attention lest somebody take your place emotionally. This statement is calling for you to make time available so your lover or spouse can have reassurance that will help deflect the new rush of feelings!

Do not ignore it!

Do not defend!

Do not argue!

Do not turn it into ridicule.

Just make time and have some deep conversations.

Let me drop a word for singles that are not in any relationship. When a single friend says this to you, he or she is trying to show interest and is weighing your reaction to know whether to pursue or retreat!  Testing the waters! 

So if you don’t like the person and you are not considering any commitments, you can reply with

“Which time now? I be your boyfriend / girlfriend?”

That is enough red light!

But if you really love the person, then you say something like this:

“Haba! You know that you are special to me, don’t you?:”

The person will get the green light to proceed.

When Your Lover Says These Do Not Ignore

2. You are far away from me
When your spouse makes this statement, don’t take it lightly. Don’t fight or turn it into a quarrel. Listen to what is being said and what is not being said.

It is possible to be physically close to the one you love, and yet be far away emotionally. That is why couples who sleep on the same bed daily can often complain of loneliness. Sounds ridiculous? It’s the reality!

This person is telling you that the farther away you are, emotionally, the bigger the gap you leave for others to fill.

Married couples, prioritize your relationship with your spouse.

For those in a relationship, and not yet married, there is a twist to this statement. You need to find out if the statement is genuine or simply a call to give in to sex. Some tact and wisdom are needed here. Some decoding of words, and finding out of motives is required here.

When Your Lover Says These, Do Not Ignore. I will stop here and continue later.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am not deceived

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, lead me in the right way!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Psa 74:20 (MSG)  Remember your promises; the city is in darkness, the countryside violent.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray in the Spirit  

READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 
Exodus 7



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Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage

Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have not spoken to each other for one month! What? Are you whining me ni? And yet they are both praying daily! Don’t they understand?

There are the good days in marriage and those “bad” days when issues arise between married couples. There are days singles in courtship go out for ice cream, eat out, to cinemas, and all that and there are days calls are not picked up! Killer attitudes in relationships and marriage must not be allowed to seep in!

Wise couples make up their mind that nothing will come between them. Foolish couples gravitate to the times and allow situations to determine their joy.

It is wise to work together and get past “feelings!” It is a fool who fights and bickers over everything.

When the couple is financially buoyant, husband and wife are friends. When the finances are down, there is tactical withdrawal on one or both sides.

Love in marriage should not be based on what is available or what is not.

When either of the spouses starts feeling cheated, it is a fundamental and foundational issue whether they really love themselves genuinely.

If husband and wife have a mutual understanding that they are one, it becomes easier to handle these tense moments.

Selfishness has many flavours. The husband or wife is not complaining, but there is uneasy silence and withdrawal. At the end of the day, they often mess up their faith and their trust in God.

The devil loves such moments. He brings all kinds of suggestions and lies. But then, the devil has nothing to bring to the table except falsehood.

Oh, that husband and wife learn to be sensitive to these antics of the devil.

Be wise. Be prayerful. Never conclude and never think evil of your spouse.

Every time thoughts seep in that your spouse who has been good has suddenly become evil and wicked, know that the devil is at work.

You must be wise and learn to discern the antics of the devil and then reject them.

Singles, beware of sinful traps. These traps slow things down. They often hinder prayers! It is absurd to be praying and fasting for who to marry and at the same time you are giving your body out to hold down potential guys.

“If I no give am, wetin he want, he go leave me na!”

“Make in go na! Abeg!” In name be Abedne-go!

Dear singles, hear me, the one who really loves you will not insist on sex or trap you with sex! Both the guy or the lady can be guilty of this! There is a difference between sex, love, and lust! 

Singles and Married, beware of self-deception. These are Killer Attitudes In Relationships And Marriage. You are in strife but you tell yourself all is well. Religious spirits collude with self-deception and there will be a shipwreck of faith. Fasting and prayer become a waste of time because the heart is not right.

Some of the things you get angry over are things that should bring out compassion in you towards your spouse of lover if you indeed love yourselves.

And in these vulnerable moments, know that the devil can easily set you in direct or indirect adultery.

Suddenly enjoying the company of the opposite sex at such moments shows that hell is strategizing over you. Going a step further into a discussion at emotional levels, laughing together, throwing banters at each other while you come home to your spouse grouchy and irritated are all orchestrations of hell to thwart God’s purpose, frustrate your prayers, and make you a loser at the end.

Be wise. Be sensitive. Be selfless. Be spiritual.

And what makes this even more intense, is that all prayers at such moments of tactical strife and buried irritations are truncated.

God looks into the heart. So, the scripture aptly says

Pro 4:23 (KJV)  Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

What is going on in your heart?

Somebody who had a revelation of heaven said that our thoughts in heaven are louder than our voices on earth. If that is the case, what do you think you are saying to all of heaven in your thoughts? Would you be proud of them? Selah!

I pray that God will give you more understanding and strength to make needed changes. Let go of these killer attitudes and thank me later! 

Be blessed in your marriage.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
My heart is right toward my spouse

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me in my marriage

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Gal 6:9  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray for your spouse

READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 
Job 40 – 42



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This Is Not Good For Any Marriage

This Is Not Good For Any Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes

This Is Not Good For Any Marriage. Responsibility has been abdicated by Mr. Johnson! His wife has become the head of the house. As much as the wife thought she is helping out, an abnormality has crept into that home and it would impact all including the children. They would grow up to see an abnormality as the norm!
 
Sometimes, it is just the husband’s way of maintaining peace at home, but eventually, storms are gathering because God’s order is being violated. The fact that volcanic eruption has not taken place is not enough of an indication that molten magma is absent within the crust in all its fury.

What are the abnormal scenarios?

1. When the wife becomes the head of the house

 Certainly, this is not good for any marriage.

A marriage in which the wife calls the shot is one that is trying to come against God’s order.

A marriage in which the wife insists on her own way of doing things all the time, disregards the leadership of her husband, and manipulates him into doing her bidding will not last.

Eph 5:23 (KJV)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

It is simply not God’s order. Most of the time, husbands who allow such to pass and seem docile are involved in one compromise or the other. Their conscious abdication and docility are the price they pay for the unfaithfulness. 

Sooner or later, you’ll discover that you cannot be wiser than God. This Is Not Good For Any Marriage

For singles, do not marry anybody who is lazy, laid back, unwilling to work, and unwilling to take responsibility. This is because this will continue or get even more intense after marriage! The accompanying frustration can hasten departure from this milieu.

2. When the husband abdicates responsibility

A marriage in which the husband refuses to play his role by just being irresponsible will be riddled with issues.

The role of the father cannot be over-emphasized.

Our regeneration needs men that would stand up to what God has called them to do!

The husband is to provide leadership!

Eph 5:23 (MSG)  The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.

The eyes are located in the head, hence, the sight faculty, the navigation system for the family, the compass, and direction all lie with the husband or father.

The moment this is not supplied, the family can actually get lost in the forest of abuses, absurdities, addictions, and more vile things! This Is Not Good For Any Marriage.

For those who are single, being responsible over you includes waiting for sex till after the wedding! When a party wants sex, by all means, something is not quite right. This will also play out in other areas of life. Being responsible is being able to delay gratification!

 I will stop here this morning!

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
My relationship/marriage will be good 

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Father, restore your joy back into my relationship/marriage 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 
Tit 3:3-4 (KJV) For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. [4] But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared,

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Be committed to your relationship / marriage

READ THROUGH THE BIBLE IN ONE YEAR 
Tit 3



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