Her needs are specialized and peculiar. They are different from your own needs. From spiritual needs to physical needs and emotional needs, you have to find out!
You will immediately discover her preferences, that what excites you on Television doesn’t not tickle her fancy! Find out and seek to meet those needs!
3. Understand her Language
Her language is like her password. It could be gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch or acts of service.
You don’t communicate to her on your own terms but on her own terms.
Find out her definition of “romantic” and go after that. The definition of the word “romantic” is not what you find in a dictionary, but there is a dictionary in her mind with its own definition like no other, authored by her, and you have to find a way to retrieve that dictionary and check the definition which would often be different from what you think.
4. Understand her pressures
She usually has pressures. Most times, she is not even seeking for those pressures to be taken away, because they are often necessities of life.
She just wants to know that there is somebody who understands what she is going through.
Many years ago, my wife explained this to me. She was pouring her hearts to me, and expounding her pressures and at a point I bursted out;
“Hey! I am not the Holy Spirit. I cannot take these things away!”
“And then she looked at me and said,
“I know you are not the Holy Spirit. I am not asking you to solve these issues, I only want to have a feeling somebody understands what I am going through!
Wow! That is what that lady in your life wants! An understanding heart and that takes the pressures off.
She just wants an understanding, loving and caring man!
Unfortunately, most times, single ladies look for this in wrong places and often fall into the hands of men who are only looking for sexual gratification.
If you are a single lady, make your needs known to God and never offer your body in exchange for some care that will vaporise the next minute!
Wait for the process of meeting that right man who will love you appropriately and will take care of you!
May God grant you strength in your inner man to cooperate with God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to understand my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 3:17-19 (KJV) That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love.
Why is that prayer important? It is so important because if you marry wrong, everything can quickly go wrong and awry.
I tell young folks, be patient. Do not be in a hurry! Calm down!
Psa 46:10a (KJV) – Be still, and know that I am God…
The Message Translation is more apt.
Psa 46:10a (MSG) – “Step out of the traffic!
Farabale!
In English, Farabalestic!
Patience has virtues. Waiting works with time, and with time, intentions and motives are exposed.
Walk down the aisle, don’t run. Do not chase anybody to the altar, and do not be coerced into matrimony.
The wedding is ring is not supposed to be handcuff. It is a token of covenant, not an item of bondage.
Dear singles, never ever get involved with a man who doesn’t know God. He must not only know God, but he must also be a God chaser. He must be filled with the Holy Ghost.
Somebody or something would always fill him, he cannot be void, so you had better be sure it is the Holy Spirit. That way, your risk is minimized, because the love of God shed abroad in a man’s heart does wonders to his decisions and dispositions.
After the wedding, you are subject to his wisdom or to his whims and caprices. You are subject to his love or his lust. You are subject to his creativity or his perversion.
He becomes your head in reality and in imagination. The oil flows down, or the blows!
He lays hands on you to pray for you or lay blows on you to prey on you.
He stops you from attending church or stops you from missing church.
He takes you to the club or takes you to God.
He becomes your head or your headache.
She becomes your help or your hell.
She becomes your inspiration or your frustration.
She takes sexual stress off you or pushes you into the waiting hands of adultery.
She honors you or becomes your horror.
She nags you until you feel like a rag.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not marry wrong.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to get it right in marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Well, you can know. It is so easy to know but we often close our eyes to the obvious signs. I am going to use myself as an example.
Ours is a typical campus lovebirds story. There are ways I felt and there are things I did.
While these may not be specific things he must do as well, they are just to guide you in actually knowing whether the love is genuine.
1. I wanted to be with her always
More than anything, I wanted to be around her.
Something is not in place when he is not bothered about not seeing you in months.
A lady once told me she is preparing for marriage and yet the husband-to-be had not seen her in two years despite that they were just a few kilometers apart. Well, it turned out that he eventually left her for another person.
2. I felt like I was her protector
We all know God is her protector, but I had that feeling I was responsible for her.
This feeling engendered compassion which in turn informed my actions towards her.
If you have been slapped, be careful. If you have been forcefully violated be careful.
If you have been left in the cold because he was angry not minding your safety, be careful. If you have been massively embarrassed and shouted at in front of friends and families, be careful.
3. I wanted her to be happy
I couldn’t bear the sight of her being moody or downcast.
I would always try to make her laugh, quote scriptures to her about the joy of the Lord and all that.
If he doesn’t care about you being sad and depressed for days as a result of his actions, be careful. Things are not likely to change after the wedding.
If he seems to enjoy you being down and sad, something is wrong somewhere.
If he doesn’t care about you being pregnant again despite the trauma of the abortion you went through, you need to speak to your legs. Abortion is murder, it should not be trivialized.
By the time you have aborted twice, you really need to review your life and get out of that abusive relationship that will lead nowhere.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to see what I cannot see.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Don’t let his shiny lamp, his fine car, and his iPhone without God deceive you. Those things bring temporary happiness that will fizzle out.
Real joy, constant victory only comes from God-ordained relationships and marriages who are constantly living by the word and the Spirit.
If he has no oil, he would think the lamp is the problem, and he would go and get more lamps, he would dabble into adultery!
They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them: [4] But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
Mat 25:3-4 (KJV)
Nothing is more excruciating to be married to a wicked spouse, cheating on you, lying, deceiving, full of frowardness, and never giving you peace of mind.
Nothing is more debilitating to be married to a strange woman, a knife instead of a wife, bringing daily hell instead of daily help!
Nothing is more fulfilling to be married to a man or woman who is faithful to God, and has no capacity for evil through cheating, lying, playing religion, brandishing lamps without oil.
Where is your oil? Where is your depth? Where is your fear for God? Where is your integrity? Do you pay tithe? Do you honour God? Then you can ask me out and only then will my heart fall for you!
I challenge you to look beyond the lamp and go for the oil, the oil will lubricate your destiny and prevent your marital engine from knocking!
I pray for you this day, with every fibre of my being and with the strength of my call, you will not miss it!
Can you pray in the Spirit a little?
I commit you into the hands of the one that will exalt your horns like the horn of a unicorn and who will anoint your head with fresh oil.
Every form of confusion is removed from your life in Jesus name!
You will not collide with losers. You will not be entangled with foolishness. God will go ahead of you and make the crooked places straight. Affliction will not have intercourse with you! Delay is removed from your race! Heaven will announce you!
Be blessed today!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to choose wisely.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
The greatest power you have as a single is not your handsomeness or beauty. It is not your height neither is it your hot legs. It is not your phonetics, and it is not your finesse.
Your greatest power, strength or advantage is your CHOICE!
Marriage is not or is not supposed to be by force but by choice.
Your choice!
You will live with your choice! You will live with the consequences of your choice. You will live with the strengths of your choice. You will live with the weaknesses of your choice.
If your choice is good, it translates into a good life. If your choice is bad, bad stuffs awaits.
A lady has the power of choice before wedding. After wedding, she still has choices, but her choice is subdued and influenced by the ultimate choice of her husband.
Many choice ladies on fire for God as singles ended up using the fire to cook only because of their choice.
Destinies have been warped and distorted by the choice of their choice!
In deciding who to marry, go beyond the obvious and plunge deeper to see what is beyond the pulchritude.
Go beyond the flesh of the flesh and check out the bone of the bones.
After you have seen the hot legs, does she have a hot heart as well? His height attracted you, but does he have a life a well?
A man who doesn’t have a life should not seek for a life partner.
You love his beard gang, are you sure it is not a gang-up against your destiny? Her smile slays you, but behind the smiles, are you sure there lies no bile?
The choice of a man is zeroed up after wedding, so choose well. The choice of a woman after wedding is final, choose well.
There is no clean divorce, it is always a tearing apart.
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I make the right choice in God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to choose wisely.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
