Angie is a single lady of twenty-nine while Betty is a married woman of about thirty-seven years of age. Angie visits Betty who is her mentor.
Angie: Hullo Auntie
Betty: How are you, Angie?
Angie: I am fine
Betty: No, you are not fine. Why is your face like this? (Looking at her intently)
Angie: That is how my face is Auntie; I like frowning.
Betty: No, that is not your face, something is definitely wrong.
Angie: Ok, Auntie, if I tell you, hope you will not laugh at me?
Betty: No, trust me now?
Angie: Ok, Auntie, na husband wahala o! (It is the issue of marriage)
Betty: (laughing)
Angie: You promised you won’t laugh o
Betty: Ok…but seriously, is that the only issue?
Angie: Yes now, Auntie, or won’t I marry?
Betty: But this frown on your face doesn’t solve it
Angie: It is not easy, I am just depressed about it all
Betty: This your face, if I am the man and I see this face, honestly I will take off
Angie: What happened to my face?
Betty: Take a look at the mirror
Angie: Auntie, it is not that bad, it is just the way I feel
Betty: You don’t get it. You want a husband, and now you put up an attitude that will discourage the exact thing you are looking for. Can’t you see that the purpose is defeated?
Angie: It is not easy, and that is how I feel
Betty: You cannot live by your feelings because feelings are fickle, and they don’t represent well. You have to learn to trust God that He will not disappoint you.
Angie: I trust God, I am even praying and fasting
Betty: I disagree with you on that
Angie: But God knows I trust him o…God looks in the heart, not my face.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
You wouldn’t imagine how important this is to women. They want to hear it all the time! A man wonders why he should keep saying that because he is logical.
A woman thinks if you don’t say it often, with emotion, eyeball to eyeball, you don’t really love her!
For singles, It is okay to express your love to your fiancée but you must not allow verbal expression to lead to physical aggression. You sure know what I am talking about!
2. Tell her she is beautiful.
Women have issues with their bodies especially after giving birth. She worries about her shape, her belly, her face and more. It goes a long way when you tell her and keep telling her that she is beautiful. I say this to my wife all the time and she would still blush and smile like she is hearing that for the first time.
If your fiancé or husband never says that to you, ask him directly how you look in a dress.
Ladies who are not yet in a relationship, understand that you will not appear beautiful to everybody. If somebody says you are ugly, that is a personal opinion. You will be beautiful to your spouse!
The scripture says you are ‘fearfully’ and ‘wonderfully’ made. So it is okay to be ‘fearful’ to some people. Beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When your spouse sees you, you will be the most beautiful woman on earth. So stop worrying yourself unnecessarily.
3. Listen to her when she talks, give her attention, and don’t ignore her presence.
This is very important to both singles and married couples. It is important you listen well. In a particular country, women pay listeners per hour to just listen to them talk. If a woman finds a listener in her colleague, an emotional affair is knocking on the door. Ever wondered how respectable women end up sleeping with their cooks or drivers?
They were neglected by their husbands and they found a companion elsewhere!
The highest form of listening is empathic listening and this is what your fiancee requires. It involves a guy putting himself in her shoes as he listens with compassion.
Give her your time and attention. Don’t let her compete with laptops, blackberries, ipods, ipads and other ‘toys’
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust your timing.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
When you are falling in love, fall in love with some life! Don’t fall in love with a profile on social media. You may be disappointed. Don’t fall in love with a picture! You never know who you are dealing with!
Before you give your heart out, be sure you see the person you are dealing with, or else your heart can be wrenched apart!
“Pastor, it is not just a profile, I heard his voice!” It is still the same hopelessness, falling in love with a voice. Who owns the voice?
The rule of thumb is simple, never give any commitment to someone you have not seen.
If he is not committed to travel down to where you are, or he doesn’t have enough money to come or he doesn’t have the time, then he is not ready for marriage.
I know there can be situations when the persons are far away, probably in another country, then get family members who are around involved.
You cannot just fix a wedding date with somebody in Brazil and then travel there. I cannot recount how many have called me to talk about the greatest disappointments of their lives upon emptying their accounts and resigning from work to go and meet a guy somewhere who eventually turns out to be mentally imbalanced. A word is enough for the wise.
3. Don’t fall in love carelessly.
Don’t fall in love carelessly.
You met two hours ago. Now you are in bed! That is not love! That is lust and you are going to be dropped soonest like hot potatoes! The principles of God are being violated like that and you are not going to have His support.
The purpose of falling in love is not to take somebody to bed; it is to take somebody down the aisle. Jeru trap with someone will never be able to prove your love. They are just not the same, otherwise, the prostitute will fall in love with all her clients, but it never happens that way. Fall in love with care and caution!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Falling in love is a special experience, or so it is intended to be. But there are ways to fall in love. The foundation to falling in love the right way is to fall in love with God first. God, Himself is love and when you fall in love with Him, He will teach you and help you to understand what real love is.
God is the lover of your soul and He is your first true lover! Any attempt to ignore Him is at your own peril to your eventual love life. Without Him, you will never be able to know how to love and how to be loved. Here are a few ways not to fall in love.
1. Don’t fall in love secretly.
I have said it many times; a godly relationship is not a secret cult. It is not a fraternity between two people. If you like yourself and you will like to protect yourself, heed my advice this day by the Spirit of God; don’t fall in love with a closed-up person.
Let your friends know about it. Let your Pastor know about it. The moment he or she insists that nobody should know, that should be a red light for you. Why hide something that is meant to be good news?
When I asked my wife out while we were students at Ogun State University (now Olabisi Onabanjo University) and she said ‘Yes,’ I announced to all that cared to listen! It was a joyful experience for me as a twenty-four-year-old chap!
I later got married at twenty-seven years of age some three years later in 1999.
Are you in a relationship where nobody knows except the two of you? Why would that be? The risks are high! The first sign of commitment in a relationship that is intended to lead to marriage is that the authority figures in your life will be involved. While this may not totally ensure the success of the relationship, it goes a long way to validate the relationship.
For those who are married, ensure that you are accountable to a particular authority figure for counsel and wisdom as you navigate the terrain of the marital journey.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will fall in love rightly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to get it right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t fall in love secretly
This is the concluding part of this series. If you missed any of the devotionals, go HERE
6. Deceptive Lovers
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious.
They are unapproachable and unreachable. Their self-deception becomes a wall that fences up their destinies.
But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Unforgiving Lovers
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker.
If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including the children defiled.
The way out! So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate.
Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
