The Secret Sauce – Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage
Finding Agreement in Marriage
Marriage was designed by God to be a covenant of exclusivity and intimacy between a man and a woman. A lasting marriage is God´s will. However, many couples struggle to find agreement and live in peace. In this article, we will discuss the root causes of unfaithfulness in a marriage, based on the message shared by Apostle Arome. By understanding these causes and applying the biblical principles outlined, couples can build a strong foundation for an enduring marriage of agreement.
What Are the Causes of Unfaithfulness in Marriage?
1. Soul Ties and Their Implications.
According to Apostle Arome, soul ties are spiritual connections formed when a person becomes intimate with another person through sexual relations or prolonged emotional attachment. Apostle Arome shares that soul ties act as “pathways” that allow demons to traffic between people and oppress or manipulate them.
A common way soul ties are formed is through pre-marital sexual relationships. The pastor explained that these relationships leave a person in a “vicious circle of connection” to former partners that can negatively impact their current marriage. Demons and spiritual problems can be transferred through this soul tie “highways.”
2. Lack of a Regulator in Marriage.
A regulator for the marriage is one of the keys to a lasting marriage. Apostle Arome used the analogy of an electric fan without a thermostat to illustrate what happens when a marriage lacks a “regulator.” Just as an uncontrolled fan could cause harm, an unregulated marriage where both partners do not submit to God’s authority is at risk of “crashing.”
When unbelievers marry without acknowledging God, there is no spiritual “regulator” to keep the relationship balanced. While they may live together, they are truly just “cohabiting” rather than in a covenant marriage as designed by God. This leaves the relationship vulnerable to demonic interference through unaddressed soul ties and other openings.
3. How Do You Prevent Unfaithfulness?
The first way to prevent unfaithfulness is to commit to God’s Regulations for Marriage.
For a marriage to be protected from unfaithfulness, both partners must commit their relationship fully to God as the supreme authority and regulator. They should see marriage as a blood covenant instituted by God, not just a legal contract. By willingly submitting to God’s regulations on marriage in the Bible, such as mutual exclusivity and intimacy only with each other, couples place themselves under God’s covering and protection.
4. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Accountability and Transparency with Each Other.
The pastor emphasized the importance of accountability between spouses. If one feels attracted to someone else, they should openly tell their partner instead of hiding it. Regular communication and transparency about thoughts and feelings can help address issues before they escalate. It also prevents the devil from taking advantage of cracks in the relationship.
5. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Working Through Misunderstandings with Understanding.
The testimony shared revealed how a disagreement led to a loss of attraction between the couple. Apostle Arome counseled resolving issues through understanding instead of driving one’s spouse away. During challenging times like pregnancy, husbands must learn their wife’s changing needs with patience. With open communication and a willingness to understand each other, misunderstandings need not lead to unfaithfulness.
6. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Identifying and Breaking Soul Ties.
Apostle Arome emphasized that deliverance must be deliberately sought to break soul ties formed in the past through pre-marital relationships. One must write down the names of all former sexual partners and repent fully of those acts. Breaking the associated soul ties requires calling on God to sever the spiritual connections.
7. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Fasting and Prayer for Complete Deliverance.
Complete deliverance from past soul ties and their effects may require an extended period of fasting and prayer. Apostle Arome noted it can take up to nine months of consistently rejecting demonic suggestions and images that surface.
But with persistence, one can be fully freed from the oppression of the past through God’s power. The fast also helps destroy appetites of the flesh that open doors to unfaithfulness. We will stop here today and continue with part 2 tomorrow!
11 Marriages That Must Not Take Place By Dr. D.K Olukoya
Introduction
I agree that wrong marriages can seriously damage our lives and futures. In this post, I will discuss Dr. Olukoya’s guidelines on 40 types of marriages that must be avoided. By learning to identify and steer clear of such unions, we can protect ourselves from unnecessary hardship. I will explore each kind of problematic marriage and explain why it should not take place.
Number 1. Fast food marriages.
Fast food marriages are based solely on physical attraction and lustful desires, rather than true love and compatibility. When the initial infatuation fades, as it always does, the relationship collapses. Marrying for looks or sexual chemistry alone is a recipe for divorce once those surface-level attractions disappear.
Number 2. Serpent in the pocket marriages.
A “serpent in the pocket” marriage is one where one spouse hides their real character flaws and intentions until after the wedding. Once committed, the deceptive person’s true colors emerge, often in a toxic manner that poisons the relationship. Founding a marriage on deception lays the groundwork for major betrayal and breach of trust down the road.
Number 3. Marrying the enemy.
Marrying someone you perceive as an enemy or competitor is asking for trouble. Unresolved negative feelings like dislike, mistrust, or a history of conflict do not make for a solid foundation for marriage. Even minor disagreements can easily escalate when underlying enmity exists. It is usually best to maintain distance from adversaries rather than legally binding yourself to them through marriage. Trying to change an enemy into a spouse often backfires.
Number 4. Marrying late in life hastily.
Those marrying later in life after previous relationships have ended may feel lonely or pressured to settle down quickly. However, rushing into marriage without properly evaluating the partner’s character can be imprudent. When loneliness or deadlines override good judgment, marriages entered into hastily tend to end in regret. It is wise not to compromise the standards of a compatible life partner just to avoid singleness. Taking the time to know someone fully is critical for long-term success.
Number 5. Half and half marriages.
Half-and-half marriages combine two incompatible halves that are doomed to clash. This occurs when partners of different faiths, cultures, or backgrounds enter marriage with unresolved differences. Over time, disagreements over issues like religion, in-laws, or child-rearing tend to intensify rather than diminish tension. For lasting peace, spouses must be fully united.
Number 6. Red Cross Society marriages.
Red Cross Society marriages refer to unions formed due to accidental pregnancy before marriage. While having a child does require responsibility, rushing to marry the other parent does not guarantee the couple is ready or suited to building a healthy family together long-term. Careful discernment is still needed.
Number 7. Demonic consultation marriages.
Demonic consultation marriages were explained as occurring when a partner seeks guidance from occult forces like astrology, witch doctors, or other ungodly sources rather than relying on God’s will. Putting faith in spiritual powers runs contrary to biblical teaching and exposes the marriage to harmful manipulation and control from demonic entities. God alone should direct our paths.
Number 8. Witchcraft marriages.
Witchcraft marriages are those involving spouses with a background or family history steeped in witchcraft, idolatry, or other demonic practices. Such spiritual baggage has toxic consequences, as the marriage itself may become a battleground for conflicting spiritual influences and ideologies that undermine harmony.
Number 9. Syringe marriages.
Syringe marriages occur when a partner has a history of drug abuse or addiction. Substance issues often stem from deeper problems, and getting clean is a long process even after rehab. Marrying an unreformed addict risks exposing yourself and any future children to harm from relapses or associated unhealthy behaviors. Stability must be established first before committing to such a union.
Number 10. Diabetes marriages.
Diabetes marriages involve partners with uncontrolled medical conditions like diabetes that require intensive management. The strain of caring for an ill spouse’s needs can drain both physical and emotional resources from the relationship. Health must be reasonably stable to ensure both spouses’ well-being and ability to fulfill their roles before marriage
Number 11. Marrying out of pity.
Marrying out of pity rather than genuine love or compatibility is unfair to both partners. Pity seeks to fulfill an ego need to help someone, but true care requires considering the other person’s long-term well-being and ensuring the relationship is healthy for both sides. Otherwise, it risks becoming a crutch rather than a partnership.
In conclusion, while the heart wants what it wants, marriage is not merely an emotional affair but a serious life commitment. Entering without fully considering factors like spirituality, values, health, background, and long-term goals nearly guarantees problems down the road. Rather than acting on fleeting feelings or circumstances, take time to carefully discern true compatibility in all areas before making a vow. Building on a firm foundation of mutual understanding and agreement increases the chances of a stable, fruitful union.
18 Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home Part 2 by Bishop Oyedepo.
We continue from where we left off yesterday.
8. Protect Your Home from Unauthorized Discussions.
Satan knows the best way to infiltrate is through our vulnerabilities. We must guard our hearts and minds, as well as protect our families, from having private counsel with those who could mislead or misinform.
Only by focusing on Jesus can we avoid being led astray down dangerous paths that end up destroying what God wants to build.
9. Satan, Liar and Deceiver.
Satan is introduced in the Bible as a deceiver, not a man of strength. He is against a Successful Marriage and home. His power comes from deception, not might. We must recognize him for who he truly is – a liar who seeks to trick us through half-truths and distortions of God’s word. To avoid giving Satan access, we must educate ourselves on the strategies he commonly uses. Some of his devices mentioned in the Bible include sowing discord, temptation of the flesh, and accusations against believers. Studying God’s word and growing in spiritual discernment equip us to recognize Satan’s tactics and not fall for his tricks.
10. Satan Seeks to Gain Advantage Through Ignorance.
Paul warns in 2 Corinthians 2 verse 11 that we should not be ignorant of Satan’s devices, lest he gain an advantage over us. Unless we are conversant in his tricks and tactics, the enemy will succeed in deceiving us. Knowledge is key to not allowing Satan’s entrance. We must understand how he operates so we aren’t caught unaware by his schemes. In a successful marriage, the couple is sensitive.
11. Love Your Spouse As Christ Loves the Church.
A foundational way to keep Satan out is by following Christ’s example of sacrificial love for our spouse. When we put our partner’s needs above our own desires, prioritizing understanding and kindness, it creates an environment Satan cannot penetrate. Your marriage and home becomes a haven.
12. Submit to One Another in Reverence for Christ.
Another one of the blueprints for a successful marriage and home is submission. Bishop Oyedepo highlighted the importance of mutual submission according to Ephesians 5. By humbly yielding to one another out of respect for Jesus, it fosters an atmosphere of peace, unity, and care that protects the home from Satan’s schemes.
13. Living Out God’s Design for Marriage.
God created marriage to reflect Christ’s love for the church. Living this out daily through small acts of service, communication, and time together provides the foundation Satan cannot gain entry over.
14. Dealing With an Unsaved Spouse.
For those with unbelieving partners, Bishop Oyedepo advised continuing to love unconditionally as Christ did, while being a light that points to Jesus. With patience and prayer, God can use a faithful spouse’s example to soften their companion’s heart over time. Your marriage and home can be glorious.
15. Standing United as a Family.
When spouses present a united front and make their marriage and home a priority through quality time together, it sends a message to Satan that he is not welcome. Discord and division give him an opening to sow temptation, but unity slams the door in his face.
16. Praying For and Encouraging Your Spouse.
Lifting each other through prayer is vital and also a Successful Marriage secret. When spouses cover one another before God’s throne daily, interceding for protection and blessing, it forms a hedge of protection around the home that demons cannot penetrate. Positive words of affirmation and compassion also strengthen the resolve to resist Satan’s attacks.
17. Resolving Conflict Biblically.
Disagreements will inevitably arise, but Bishop Oyedepo stressed addressing them according to Matthew 18, through gentle confrontation and then involving authority figures if needed. Refusing to let the sun go down on anger prevents the devil from gaining a foothold in division. thereby saving your marriage and home.
18. Filling Your Home With Love.
Making your marriage and home a place of acceptance, forgiveness, and fun keeps Satan at bay. Laughter, inside jokes, and making memories together form an impenetrable shield of protection. Filling your water pots with love and kindness starves the accuser of any opportunities.
Conclusion. By understanding Satan’s tactics, equipping yourself with biblical knowledge, and living out God’s design for marriage, you can send the demons attacking your marriage and home fleeing. Make protecting your family through Christ-centered unity and love a daily priority. Though spiritual battles will come, focus on filling your water pots with God’s love so Satan finds no entrance. Stay strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Top 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Marriage They Didn’t Teach In School Originally Taught by Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole
This teaching is done by Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole, an International Conference Speaker, Author, Life coach and Lead Pastor at Triumphant Nation. Many people struggle in their marriages wondering “why can’t relationships just be easy?” While love may feel simple at first, maintaining a healthy marriage requires effort. In this article, we’ll discuss the root causes of marital problems and provide practical tips for overcoming struggles through open communication, appreciation, and personal growth.
Here Are A Few Root Causes of Marital Problems
1. Unhealthy Comparisons
It’s only natural to compare our partners to others, but this often stems from unrealistic expectations. No two people or relationships are exactly alike, so comparing your spouse to an idealized version of someone else sets them up for failure. Learn to appreciate your partner for who they are. Focus on your partner’s positive qualities rather than perceived flaws. Appreciate how they enrich your life uniquely rather than longing for something different. Avoiding unhealthy comparisons is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage.
2. Taking Your Partner for Granted
How we treat our spouse on a daily basis matters greatly. When we stop showing gratitude for the little things they do, it’s easy to start resenting them. Don’t forget to express thanks for the care and support you receive from your partner. Verbalize gratitude, perform small acts of service, and give compliments. Keep romance alive with date nights, gifts, and quality time together.
3. Lack of Communication
Problems arise when we make assumptions instead of openly discussing how we feel. Resentment builds over time if issues aren’t addressed. Make deliberate listening a priority so you can understand each other’s perspectives. Use “I feel” statements to share feelings respectfully. Actively listen by restating what you heard to ensure understanding. Find a compromise when you disagree instead of demanding your way.
4. Lack of Regular Date Nights
Make time to reconnect as a couple away from distractions. Enjoy fun activities together to foster intimacy and friendship.
5. Not Participating in Chores
Lend a helping hand with chores or responsibilities to lighten their load. Offer back rubs, make their favorite meal, or send caring notes.
Understanding Each Other Despite Our Differences
While marriage comes with its challenges, understanding and appreciating our differences can help overcome them. Let’s dive into three key areas: At the core of the secrets to a stress-free marriage is understanding one another.
6. Rice vs Spaghetti Brains
Science has shown men and women’s brains develop differently. A man’s brain tends to be compartmentalized like individual rice grains, allowing him to focus intently on one thing at a time. In contrast, a woman’s brain is more interconnected like spaghetti, allowing her to multitask and take in various details simultaneously.
This affects how we process and store information. For example, a husband may have trouble following a story if his wife jumps around. Or a wife may get frustrated if her husband doesn’t seem engaged when she’s sharing feelings. Understanding these natural differences can help us communicate better.
7. Speaking Each Other’s Love Language
People also express and receive love primarily through five “love languages” – gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Gary Chapman’s research showed unless we understand our spouse’s main love language, our efforts to show love may not be properly received.
For instance, if a husband’s language is acts of service but his wife’s is quality time, he may feel unloved when she does chores but doesn’t spend meaningful one-on-one moments with him. Learning each other’s love language builds intimacy. Speaking Each Other’s Love Language is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage
8. Handling Challenges as Opportunities
Rather than magnifying problems, we can choose to see challenges as opportunities for growth. Hard times, if faced with gratitude, can strengthen our character and relationship in unseen ways. Problems often come hand in hand with blessings, if we have the right perspective. For example, an illness may bring family closer in caregiving. Financial struggles may lead to cutting expenses in healthy ways. Difficult conversations could improve communication long-term.
9. Blessings In Disguise
Seeing blessings amidst trials requires an active choice to be thankful in “all circumstances,” as Paul wrote. It’s human nature to focus on negatives; changing our lens takes effort but pays off.
Similarly, problems present chances to cultivate virtues like patience, humility and dependence on God. We can learn so much about ourselves and each other through adversity. If faced constructively as a team, challenges need not tear us apart but can instead bring us closer together. Seeing Challenges as Opportunities is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage.
10. The Power of Perspective
One powerful testimony shared was about a man who promised to take his family on a vacation. However, he then hit unexpected financial struggles and it seemed the trip may not happen.
Instead of worrying, the man chose to be thankful for what he had. He thanked God each day for blessings like his health and family. Opportunities then unexpectedly opened up for an even greater provision beyond what he asked for, enabling an amazing vacation.
This example shows how shifting one’s perspective from lack to gratitude can change everything. When we feel discontent, it’s easy to focus on wants. But being thankful for what we’ve received, no matter how little, attracts more goodness.
In conclusion, understanding our differences, seeing struggles as opportunities, and cultivating gratitude can strengthen any marriage. Appreciating each other as God designed will help weather challenges and build a foundation of love. When you understand these tips, you would have discovered powerful secrets to a stress-free marriage.
Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 2
We continue from yesterday.
6. You’re leading separate lives
This another one of the Signs You Need Help. Make a conscious effort to prioritize quality time together. We all need our own space and independence. But when you and your partner start feeling more like roommates than soulmates, that’s a major red flag. It’s like you’re two ships passing in the night, never really connecting or sharing experiences. The Bible hits the nail on the head with Amos 3:3 – “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
I’ll never forget this one couple I knew. Let’s call them… Sally and Buddy. These two were so wrapped up in their own worlds that they practically needed a translator to communicate. Sally was always off doing her own thing, while Buddy was glued to his video games. Date nights? Forget about it! They were living that separate lives life to the maximum.
But here’s the thing – a relationship is supposed to be a partnership, a journey you take together. When you stop making that quality time for each other a priority, the connection starts to fray. It’s like a plant that doesn’t get enough water – it’ll eventually wither and die.
So, what’s the solution? Well, it’s all about being intentional. Set aside regular date nights, plan little adventures together, or even just snuggle up and watch your favorite movie.
7. Trust has been broken
This is one of the Signs You Need Help. We’re not just talking little white lies here, but the kind that makes you question everything and feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
I had this one friend, we’ll call her Samantha, who went through the ultimate trust betrayal. Her partner of five years had been having an emotional affair, sharing deep thoughts and feelings with someone else behind her back. When she found out, it was like her entire world shattered into a million pieces.
Samantha was devastated. How could someone she trusted so completely violate that sacred bond? She felt like a fool for believing in their partnership.
But here’s the thing – rebuilding trust is possible, but it takes hard work from both parties. It’s a conscious choice to forgive, to be accountable, and to communicate openly, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Trust is precious, my friends. Once it’s been broken, working to repair it is one of the highest callings. It’s about choosing to see the higher road, even when the pain is fresh. It’s about loving bigger than you ever thought possible.
8. You’re feeling unheard or ignored
This is one of the Signs You Need Help. We’ve all been there, right? You try to share something that’s important to you – a frustration at work or an idea for a vacation. But instead of your partner’s full attention, you get the dreaded glazed-over look or one-word responses. It’s the romantic equivalent of talking to a brick wall.
Listen, communication is the lifeblood of any healthy relationship. Without it, that once-blazing connection starts to feel like a dying campfire. The embers are still there, but they’re getting faint and harder to re-ignite with each passing day.
The Bible says in James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Being an active listener, fully present and engaged, is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner. It’s a way of saying “You matter. Your thoughts and feelings are valuable to me.
So make that conscious choice, every single day, to listen with your whole soul. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and drink in every word your partner has to say, as if it’s the nectar of the gods. Let them feel that soul-quenching feeling of being truly heard.
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9. You’re not supporting each other’s goals and dreams
Here is another one of the Signs You Need HelpYour relationship should be a dream team – a dynamic duo working together to help each other soar to new heights. When one person’s wings start to falter, the other is there to provide an updraft and keep them aloft.
Not supporting one another is like two planets spinning in opposite directions, never quite aligning. And as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 remind us, “Two are better than one…If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Supporting each other’s goals and dreams doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as listening intently when your partner shares a new idea, asking questions to understand their vision more deeply. It’s celebrating each tiny victory and reassuring them through the setbacks.
10. You’re feeling stuck or stagnant
How do you know if your relationship has veered off that path of joyful partnership and stumbled into a growth-stunting rut? Well, there are a few telltale signs to watch out for:
The conversation well has run dry.
Date night is a distant memory. The core values and interests that once bound you together have drifted in separate directions.
If any of those strike you, fear not! This isn’t an inevitable death sentence for your relationship – it’s a wake-up call to get that growth groove back.
Here’s the truth – a relationship is a living, breathing entity. And like anything alive, it requires the oxygen of growth, progress, and exploration to survive. Stagnation is a slow suffocation.
So go ahead, be bold! Shake up those comfortable patterns. Nurture your evolving partnership with the same devotion and joy that first sparked it into existence.
Choose growth – in all its messy, unpredictable, breathtakingly beautiful forms. That’s what true partnership is all about.
