Five Tips for Keeping Your Individuality in a Relationship

by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Nov 19, 2024 | Singles and Married

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Five Tips for Keeping Your Individuality in a Relationship

Hey there, lovebirds! Let’s chat about something super important but often overlooked in relationships: keeping your sense of you while navigating life as a duo. Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, it’s easy to get so caught up in the “we” that the “me” takes a backseat. But here’s the thing—God created each of us uniquely, and maintaining that individuality within your relationship can make your bond even stronger. So, let’s dive into some tips to keep your flame burning bright without losing yourself in the process.

1. God Made You One of a Kind—Celebrate It!

Remember Psalm 139:14? “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” That’s not just a feel-good verse; it’s a truth bomb! You’re not just “so-and-so’s girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife.” You’re YOU, with unique passions, dreams, and quirks. A healthy relationship doesn’t erase that—it amplifies it.

Take some time to reflect: what makes you you? What’s that thing that lights your soul on fire—art, music, gaming, fitness, volunteering? Hold onto it, because when you’re thriving individually, you’re blessing your relationship, too.

2. Talk It Out—No Secrets, Just Real Talk

Communication isn’t just “relationship advice 101”—it’s the heartbeat of any thriving partnership. Set aside time for honest, unfiltered conversations about your goals, hobbies, and personal growth. Maybe your partner loves journaling their thoughts while you’re more of a let’s-hit-the-trail-and-talk-it-out type. Share those things.

Think about it this way: just like Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Open communication not only keeps you connected but also helps you encourage each other’s individuality.

3. Do Your Thing (And Cheer Each Other On!)

Here’s the tea: being in love doesn’t mean you have to do everything together. In fact, spending time on your own passions can make your time together even sweeter.

Sign up for that pottery class. Join the gym. Start a Bible study with your friends. Your partner doesn’t have to be your co-pilot in every activity. Plus, how fun is it to come home and share what you’ve been up to? It’s like you’re creating mini-stories to bring into your shared narrative.

And when they’re doing their thing? Cheer them on like their #1 fan. Whether it’s their turn to lead worship at church or they’re grinding at work, be the person who reminds them of their awesomeness.

4. Boundaries = Love, Not Barriers

Let’s talk about space—emotional, physical, and spiritual. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re shutting your partner out. It means you respect each other enough to say, “Hey, I need some time to recharge or work on this thing God’s put on my heart.”

Boundaries can look like carving out time for prayer, hanging with friends, or even saying no to another Netflix binge night so you can read or journal. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Boundaries help you protect what matters most.

5. Why This Matters: Strong “Me” = Stronger “We”

Here’s the big picture: when you honor your God-given individuality, you’re not just taking care of yourself—you’re strengthening your relationship. It’s like a puzzle; the pieces are beautiful on their own, but together they make something amazing.

So, the next time you’re tempted to ditch your hobbies or dreams for the sake of “togetherness,” pause and ask yourself: How can I bring my best self to this relationship? Spoiler alert: it’s by staying true to who you are.

Final Thought

Relationships thrive when two whole, healthy individuals come together, not two halves trying to complete each other. So, be unapologetically YOU, and let your relationship be a reflection of God’s love—celebrating uniqueness, fostering growth, and always pointing back to Him.

Got a story or tip about balancing individuality and love? Drop it in the comments or DM me—I’d love to hear how you’re making it work. 💛