One of the Apostles who wrote extensively on marriage is Apostle Paul.
Interestingly, we are not sure whether Apostle Paul got married or not.
One thing we know for sure is that he was not married at the time of this writing. He was single!
1Co 7:27 (MSG) Are you married? Stay married. Are you unmarried? Don’t get married.
Why would Apostle Paul say this?
Let us dive into this.
1. Additional Stress
1Co 7:28 (MSG) But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.
He believed that getting married would bring some additional stress, which he believes is avoidable by remaining single! Just that you and I won’t listen!
2. It’s Complicated!
Apostle Paul believes that getting married will usher in some complications, which might make it more difficult to serve God.
1Co 7:32 (MSG) I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.
3. Demands on Attention
He believes your attention is totally divided because you must always please your spouse!
1Co 7:33-34 (MSG) Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, [34] leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.
4. Marriage is not wrong!
He is not saying marriage is wrong. He is only encouraging singleness.
1Co 7:38 (MSG) Marriage is spiritually and morally right and not inferior to singleness in any way, although as I indicated earlier, because of the times we live in, I do have pastoral reasons for encouraging singleness.
5. One will chase a thousand, two ten thousand.
If you find a couple who are sincere, sacrificial, selfless, and love God, they will do more as couples than remain single!
Marriage is a blessing, but only for those who are ready to work it out!
Relationships are tough. We all want connections that feel deep, steady, and lasting. Yet, with all the dating advice and “relationship hacks” out there, where’s the solid ground? It might surprise you, but these ancient words hold timeless insights into building a love that lasts. From dealing with conflict to deepening trust, scripture isn’t just “old wisdom” – it’s guidance we can use today.
Ready to dig in? Let’s unpack how these teachings can transform our relationships from surface-level to soul-deep.
How Love Is Defined in Scripture
Ever heard of “agape love”? It’s a Greek term that means unconditional, selfless love – a love that gives without expecting anything back. It’s the kind of love Jesus showed, and scripture invites us to reflect it in our relationships.
Example of Agape Love: Think about doing something for your partner that doesn’t benefit you at all – maybe listening to them vent after a long day, even when you’re tired. That’s the spirit of agape love, and it’s essential to building a relationship that lasts.
In scripture, love isn’t just an emotion; it’s a commitment to act in kindness, patience, and forgiveness. This kind of love challenges us but ultimately grows us.
Communicating with Love and Respect
Talking is easy. Real communication – the kind where you both feel seen and heard – that’s the hard part. Scripture emphasizes not just what we say but how we say it. For example, Proverbs 18:13 reminds us not to answer before we listen. Basically, hear your partner out before jumping in with advice or judgment.
Active Listening Tip: When your partner is sharing something important, resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Instead, try phrases like, “I hear you,” or “That sounds tough.” It shows that you care and makes them feel valued.
The Bible also encourages honesty. Ephesians 4:25, for instance, says to “put off falsehood and speak truthfully.” No hiding behind white lies or half-truths. In relationships, trust grows when you’re willing to be real, even about the hard stuff.
Conflict: Embracing Forgiveness and Finding Peace
Conflict? It’s inevitable. Even the healthiest relationships will hit rough patches. But here’s where scripture comes in clutch. Matthew 18:15- 17 teaches us to address issues privately first – so we should not bring friends or family into things right away. This approach helps keep conflicts personal and focused on finding a solution.
Then there’s the call to forgive. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to be “kind and compassionate…forgiving each other.” Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re okay with what happened; it means you’re choosing to let go of the resentment. In the long run, forgiveness can bring peace, healing, and deeper trust.
Forgiveness in Action: When you’re hurt by something your partner did, try to express your feelings calmly and avoid pointing fingers. Then, if they apologize, let go of the resentment and move forward. Remember, nobody’s perfect, and we all need a bit of grace.
Trust, Faith, and Finding Strength in Shared Beliefs
If faith is important to you, it can be a powerful anchor in your relationship. Couples who share a spiritual foundation often find strength during tough times by turning to their faith. Trust grows not just from who your partner is, but from believing that your relationship has a purpose beyond yourselves.
Ways to Strengthen Trust: Try praying together, talking openly about your spiritual beliefs, or even attending church or study groups together. These activities deepen your connection, keep your priorities aligned, and create a shared foundation of values and purpose.
Faith also encourages personal growth. By focusing on spiritual practices together, you can each become a better partner and person, building a relationship that’s resilient and purpose-driven.
Making Sacrifices: The Real “Secret” to Lasting Love
Sacrifice sounds heavy, but it’s actually woven into healthy relationships. It’s about putting each other first in practical ways – big and small. It’s skipping that social event because your partner’s had a rough day, or compromising on a big decision for the sake of your relationship.
The Bible gives us countless examples of love that sacrifices. By practicing selflessness, we can move beyond “What’s in it for me?” to “How can I serve and support this person I love?”
Daily Acts of Sacrifice: Small, selfless acts go a long way. Doing a chore they hate, listening to them when you’re tired, or compromising on what to watch for movie night – these little things build a strong foundation of trust and love over time.
Prayer and Scripture: Growing Together Spiritually
One of the most powerful ways to deepen your relationship is through shared spiritual practices. Taking time to pray together or study scripture isn’t just about faith – it’s about strengthening your bond and creating space for meaningful conversations.
Prayer Routine: Find a time each week to sit together, pray, or read scripture. Maybe set an intention for the week, like patience or gratitude, and use that time to reflect on how it’s impacting your relationship. You’ll be surprised at how it can bring you closer!
If you’re looking for even more community, consider joining a couples’ study group [strictly for the married]. Learning with others can offer fresh insights, provide accountability, and connect you with other couples who share similar values.
Community: Surrounding Your Relationship with Support
Finally, let’s talk about community. While you and your partner form the heart of your relationship, having a supportive community around you is crucial. Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, “Two are better than one…if either of them falls, the other can help them up.” This reminds us that we don’t have to do this alone.
Find friends, mentors, or faith communities that respect and support your values. They’ll cheer you on during the highs and help you through the lows, making your relationship stronger.
Find Your People: Look for friends and couples who encourage you to be the best version of yourselves. When challenges arise, having a solid support network will remind you of your shared values and goals.
Conclusion: Walking Together in Faith and Love
Building a strong relationship takes work, but Scripture offers us a roadmap filled with wisdom, love, and compassion. By integrating principles like active listening, forgiveness, trust, and sacrifice, you’re creating a relationship that goes beyond “just getting along.” Instead, you’re building something rooted in respect, faith, and purpose.
So here’s to love that grows, faith that strengthens, and a life together filled with the kind of partnership that endures – come what may. Remember, the journey isn’t perfect, but with guidance from scripture, you’ll have the tools to navigate it together.
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