30 Shocking Realities Before Marriage by Eno Jerry Part 2
We started on this yesterday and we will conclude today.
19. Manage Expectations
It’s normal to fantasize about marriage and picture the ideal relationship. However, unrealistic expectations can damage a union if not addressed. When two individuals commit their lives together, compromise is necessary.
No one is perfect, so don’t expect your partner to meet all of your emotional or physical needs without also meeting theirs. Appreciate your significant other for who they are, not who you imagine them to be. Small irritations that seemed minor before may bother you more as a married couple.
20. Find Purpose
Also, your partner should not have to fulfill your purpose or identity. While support is important, relying on them solely for happiness places unfair pressure on their shoulders. Maintain interests and friendships outside the marriage for balance.
Similarly, allow your partner space to follow their dreams too. Whether it’s furthering education, changing careers, or pursuing hobbies, encourage each other’s goals. Make time for activities you each enjoy separately as well as together.
21. Be Flexible
Compromise means considering your spouse’s perspective and finding solutions that work for you both. Be willing to bend when possible and don’t just think of yourself. With patience and teamwork, you can overcome challenges as a united front. Going into marriage with realistic views sets the stage for a fulfilling partnership built on mutual understanding and support. Unmet fantasies often stem the root of dissatisfaction.
22. Work on Communication
Strong communication serves as the foundation for any healthy relationship. However, speaking and listening with understanding do not always come naturally and require effort. As a couple, make developing this skill a priority.
Start by listening without judgment or assumptions when your partner speaks.
Focus fully on what they say rather than thinking of your response. Ask clarifying questions if needed so you can see things from their perspective. All these are important before marriage.
When sharing your feelings or needs, do so respectfully using “I statements” instead of accusations. Say something like “I feel upset when you forget our plans because I was looking forward to our time together.” This avoids placing blame.
Discussing disagreements kindly helps resolve issues rather than letting them fester. Come prepared to compromise rather than demand your way. Take breaks if tensions rise so you can return to difficult topics with clearer heads.
23. Don’t Sweep Issues Under The Carpet.
Small problems become big ones if not addressed. So talk through everyday annoyances before they accumulate. Catching issues early gives the best chance of a resolution that satisfies you both. With practice, you’ll strengthen your ability to communicate supportively as a team.
Healthy communication habits take work but are well worth establishing as the foundation for a strong marriage. Facing challenges together through respectful discussion helps deepen understanding and intimacy between partners
24. Seek Counseling if Needed
Even couples excited about marriage may have areas to improve before tying the knot. Pre-marital counseling provides an objective third party to help identify issues and give you tools to build a healthy relationship.
A counselor can guide meaningful discussions that you and your partner find difficult alone. They’ll prompt reflection on your backgrounds, values, expectations, and communication styles. This helps ensure you see eye to eye on important topics and are ready to support each other.
Working through any existing problems with a professional also gives the best chance of overcoming them. Bottled-up resentment or unresolved conflicts from your past are less likely to negatively impact your marriage.
Pre-marital sessions teach relationship skills like active listening, “I statements,” compromising, and managing conflict. Practicing these with guidance strengthens your bond and ability to face challenges together down the road.
Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if you notice areas of concern. It takes courage to address problems head-on with your partner and a counselor. But it provides so much benefit to working through difficulties before marriage rather than hoping they’ll disappear after “I dos.”
With counseling, you’ll feel confident that you and your significant other are fully prepared for the commitment of marriage. Your union will be built on a strong foundation of understanding, trust, and communication from the very beginning.
25. Signs It May Not Last
While every couple faces obstacles, some partnerships show red flags indicating deeper issues. If several of these signs apply to your relationship, seriously consider whether you and your partner are ready for marriage. It’s better to acknowledge problems now rather than later.
26. Lack of Commitment
One or both individuals are not fully bought into the marriage. They are not willing to put in the effort it requires through good and bad. One or both feet may still be out the door. Before marriage, this area should be sorted.
27. Inability to Solve Problems
Major conflicts over important issues like finances, intimacy, or in-laws are left unresolved. Partners lack effective communication skills and are unable or unwilling to find compromises. This is a crucial area that needs to be addressed before marriage.
28. Unrealistic Expectations
One or both have an idealized, fantasy view of marriage and relationships rather than a realistic one. They expect their partner to meet all their needs and resolve all their issues. Before marriage, unrealistic expectations should be discarded.
29. Lack of Trust or Respect
There are underlying trust issues due to past hurts, different values, or personality clashes. Partners disrespect one another through insensitive words, dismissal of feelings, or private criticism. If this happened before marriage without check, it will still happen afterward.
30. Frequent or Escalating Arguments
Disagreements happen, but true red flags include arguments that end in personal attacks, name-calling, or one partner trying to control the other through anger or tears.
Take time to reflect on whether any of these signs ring true for your relationship. Addressing concerns with counseling before marriage gives the best chance at a healthy union built to stand the test of time.
The Secret Sauce – Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage
Finding Agreement in Marriage
Marriage was designed by God to be a covenant of exclusivity and intimacy between a man and a woman. A lasting marriage is God´s will. However, many couples struggle to find agreement and live in peace. In this article, we will discuss the root causes of unfaithfulness in a marriage, based on the message shared by Apostle Arome. By understanding these causes and applying the biblical principles outlined, couples can build a strong foundation for an enduring marriage of agreement.
What Are the Causes of Unfaithfulness in Marriage?
1. Soul Ties and Their Implications.
According to Apostle Arome, soul ties are spiritual connections formed when a person becomes intimate with another person through sexual relations or prolonged emotional attachment. Apostle Arome shares that soul ties act as “pathways” that allow demons to traffic between people and oppress or manipulate them.
A common way soul ties are formed is through pre-marital sexual relationships. The pastor explained that these relationships leave a person in a “vicious circle of connection” to former partners that can negatively impact their current marriage. Demons and spiritual problems can be transferred through this soul tie “highways.”
2. Lack of a Regulator in Marriage.
A regulator for the marriage is one of the keys to a lasting marriage. Apostle Arome used the analogy of an electric fan without a thermostat to illustrate what happens when a marriage lacks a “regulator.” Just as an uncontrolled fan could cause harm, an unregulated marriage where both partners do not submit to God’s authority is at risk of “crashing.”
When unbelievers marry without acknowledging God, there is no spiritual “regulator” to keep the relationship balanced. While they may live together, they are truly just “cohabiting” rather than in a covenant marriage as designed by God. This leaves the relationship vulnerable to demonic interference through unaddressed soul ties and other openings.
3. How Do You Prevent Unfaithfulness?
The first way to prevent unfaithfulness is to commit to God’s Regulations for Marriage.
For a marriage to be protected from unfaithfulness, both partners must commit their relationship fully to God as the supreme authority and regulator. They should see marriage as a blood covenant instituted by God, not just a legal contract. By willingly submitting to God’s regulations on marriage in the Bible, such as mutual exclusivity and intimacy only with each other, couples place themselves under God’s covering and protection.
4. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Accountability and Transparency with Each Other.
The pastor emphasized the importance of accountability between spouses. If one feels attracted to someone else, they should openly tell their partner instead of hiding it. Regular communication and transparency about thoughts and feelings can help address issues before they escalate. It also prevents the devil from taking advantage of cracks in the relationship.
5. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Working Through Misunderstandings with Understanding.
The testimony shared revealed how a disagreement led to a loss of attraction between the couple. Apostle Arome counseled resolving issues through understanding instead of driving one’s spouse away. During challenging times like pregnancy, husbands must learn their wife’s changing needs with patience. With open communication and a willingness to understand each other, misunderstandings need not lead to unfaithfulness.
6. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Identifying and Breaking Soul Ties.
Apostle Arome emphasized that deliverance must be deliberately sought to break soul ties formed in the past through pre-marital relationships. One must write down the names of all former sexual partners and repent fully of those acts. Breaking the associated soul ties requires calling on God to sever the spiritual connections.
7. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Fasting and Prayer for Complete Deliverance.
Complete deliverance from past soul ties and their effects may require an extended period of fasting and prayer. Apostle Arome noted it can take up to nine months of consistently rejecting demonic suggestions and images that surface.
But with persistence, one can be fully freed from the oppression of the past through God’s power. The fast also helps destroy appetites of the flesh that open doors to unfaithfulness. We will stop here today and continue with part 2 tomorrow!
18 Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home Part 2 by Bishop Oyedepo.
We continue from where we left off yesterday.
8. Protect Your Home from Unauthorized Discussions.
Satan knows the best way to infiltrate is through our vulnerabilities. We must guard our hearts and minds, as well as protect our families, from having private counsel with those who could mislead or misinform.
Only by focusing on Jesus can we avoid being led astray down dangerous paths that end up destroying what God wants to build.
9. Satan, Liar and Deceiver.
Satan is introduced in the Bible as a deceiver, not a man of strength. He is against a Successful Marriage and home. His power comes from deception, not might. We must recognize him for who he truly is – a liar who seeks to trick us through half-truths and distortions of God’s word. To avoid giving Satan access, we must educate ourselves on the strategies he commonly uses. Some of his devices mentioned in the Bible include sowing discord, temptation of the flesh, and accusations against believers. Studying God’s word and growing in spiritual discernment equip us to recognize Satan’s tactics and not fall for his tricks.
10. Satan Seeks to Gain Advantage Through Ignorance.
Paul warns in 2 Corinthians 2 verse 11 that we should not be ignorant of Satan’s devices, lest he gain an advantage over us. Unless we are conversant in his tricks and tactics, the enemy will succeed in deceiving us. Knowledge is key to not allowing Satan’s entrance. We must understand how he operates so we aren’t caught unaware by his schemes. In a successful marriage, the couple is sensitive.
11. Love Your Spouse As Christ Loves the Church.
A foundational way to keep Satan out is by following Christ’s example of sacrificial love for our spouse. When we put our partner’s needs above our own desires, prioritizing understanding and kindness, it creates an environment Satan cannot penetrate. Your marriage and home becomes a haven.
12. Submit to One Another in Reverence for Christ.
Another one of the blueprints for a successful marriage and home is submission. Bishop Oyedepo highlighted the importance of mutual submission according to Ephesians 5. By humbly yielding to one another out of respect for Jesus, it fosters an atmosphere of peace, unity, and care that protects the home from Satan’s schemes.
13. Living Out God’s Design for Marriage.
God created marriage to reflect Christ’s love for the church. Living this out daily through small acts of service, communication, and time together provides the foundation Satan cannot gain entry over.
14. Dealing With an Unsaved Spouse.
For those with unbelieving partners, Bishop Oyedepo advised continuing to love unconditionally as Christ did, while being a light that points to Jesus. With patience and prayer, God can use a faithful spouse’s example to soften their companion’s heart over time. Your marriage and home can be glorious.
15. Standing United as a Family.
When spouses present a united front and make their marriage and home a priority through quality time together, it sends a message to Satan that he is not welcome. Discord and division give him an opening to sow temptation, but unity slams the door in his face.
16. Praying For and Encouraging Your Spouse.
Lifting each other through prayer is vital and also a Successful Marriage secret. When spouses cover one another before God’s throne daily, interceding for protection and blessing, it forms a hedge of protection around the home that demons cannot penetrate. Positive words of affirmation and compassion also strengthen the resolve to resist Satan’s attacks.
17. Resolving Conflict Biblically.
Disagreements will inevitably arise, but Bishop Oyedepo stressed addressing them according to Matthew 18, through gentle confrontation and then involving authority figures if needed. Refusing to let the sun go down on anger prevents the devil from gaining a foothold in division. thereby saving your marriage and home.
18. Filling Your Home With Love.
Making your marriage and home a place of acceptance, forgiveness, and fun keeps Satan at bay. Laughter, inside jokes, and making memories together form an impenetrable shield of protection. Filling your water pots with love and kindness starves the accuser of any opportunities.
Conclusion. By understanding Satan’s tactics, equipping yourself with biblical knowledge, and living out God’s design for marriage, you can send the demons attacking your marriage and home fleeing. Make protecting your family through Christ-centered unity and love a daily priority. Though spiritual battles will come, focus on filling your water pots with God’s love so Satan finds no entrance. Stay strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Top 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Marriage They Didn’t Teach In School Originally Taught by Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole
This teaching is done by Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole, an International Conference Speaker, Author, Life coach and Lead Pastor at Triumphant Nation. Many people struggle in their marriages wondering “why can’t relationships just be easy?” While love may feel simple at first, maintaining a healthy marriage requires effort. In this article, we’ll discuss the root causes of marital problems and provide practical tips for overcoming struggles through open communication, appreciation, and personal growth.
Here Are A Few Root Causes of Marital Problems
1. Unhealthy Comparisons
It’s only natural to compare our partners to others, but this often stems from unrealistic expectations. No two people or relationships are exactly alike, so comparing your spouse to an idealized version of someone else sets them up for failure. Learn to appreciate your partner for who they are. Focus on your partner’s positive qualities rather than perceived flaws. Appreciate how they enrich your life uniquely rather than longing for something different. Avoiding unhealthy comparisons is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage.
2. Taking Your Partner for Granted
How we treat our spouse on a daily basis matters greatly. When we stop showing gratitude for the little things they do, it’s easy to start resenting them. Don’t forget to express thanks for the care and support you receive from your partner. Verbalize gratitude, perform small acts of service, and give compliments. Keep romance alive with date nights, gifts, and quality time together.
3. Lack of Communication
Problems arise when we make assumptions instead of openly discussing how we feel. Resentment builds over time if issues aren’t addressed. Make deliberate listening a priority so you can understand each other’s perspectives. Use “I feel” statements to share feelings respectfully. Actively listen by restating what you heard to ensure understanding. Find a compromise when you disagree instead of demanding your way.
4. Lack of Regular Date Nights
Make time to reconnect as a couple away from distractions. Enjoy fun activities together to foster intimacy and friendship.
5. Not Participating in Chores
Lend a helping hand with chores or responsibilities to lighten their load. Offer back rubs, make their favorite meal, or send caring notes.
Understanding Each Other Despite Our Differences
While marriage comes with its challenges, understanding and appreciating our differences can help overcome them. Let’s dive into three key areas: At the core of the secrets to a stress-free marriage is understanding one another.
6. Rice vs Spaghetti Brains
Science has shown men and women’s brains develop differently. A man’s brain tends to be compartmentalized like individual rice grains, allowing him to focus intently on one thing at a time. In contrast, a woman’s brain is more interconnected like spaghetti, allowing her to multitask and take in various details simultaneously.
This affects how we process and store information. For example, a husband may have trouble following a story if his wife jumps around. Or a wife may get frustrated if her husband doesn’t seem engaged when she’s sharing feelings. Understanding these natural differences can help us communicate better.
7. Speaking Each Other’s Love Language
People also express and receive love primarily through five “love languages” – gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Gary Chapman’s research showed unless we understand our spouse’s main love language, our efforts to show love may not be properly received.
For instance, if a husband’s language is acts of service but his wife’s is quality time, he may feel unloved when she does chores but doesn’t spend meaningful one-on-one moments with him. Learning each other’s love language builds intimacy. Speaking Each Other’s Love Language is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage
8. Handling Challenges as Opportunities
Rather than magnifying problems, we can choose to see challenges as opportunities for growth. Hard times, if faced with gratitude, can strengthen our character and relationship in unseen ways. Problems often come hand in hand with blessings, if we have the right perspective. For example, an illness may bring family closer in caregiving. Financial struggles may lead to cutting expenses in healthy ways. Difficult conversations could improve communication long-term.
9. Blessings In Disguise
Seeing blessings amidst trials requires an active choice to be thankful in “all circumstances,” as Paul wrote. It’s human nature to focus on negatives; changing our lens takes effort but pays off.
Similarly, problems present chances to cultivate virtues like patience, humility and dependence on God. We can learn so much about ourselves and each other through adversity. If faced constructively as a team, challenges need not tear us apart but can instead bring us closer together. Seeing Challenges as Opportunities is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage.
10. The Power of Perspective
One powerful testimony shared was about a man who promised to take his family on a vacation. However, he then hit unexpected financial struggles and it seemed the trip may not happen.
Instead of worrying, the man chose to be thankful for what he had. He thanked God each day for blessings like his health and family. Opportunities then unexpectedly opened up for an even greater provision beyond what he asked for, enabling an amazing vacation.
This example shows how shifting one’s perspective from lack to gratitude can change everything. When we feel discontent, it’s easy to focus on wants. But being thankful for what we’ve received, no matter how little, attracts more goodness.
In conclusion, understanding our differences, seeing struggles as opportunities, and cultivating gratitude can strengthen any marriage. Appreciating each other as God designed will help weather challenges and build a foundation of love. When you understand these tips, you would have discovered powerful secrets to a stress-free marriage.
