What Jesus Said About Lust: 5 Things To Learn

What Jesus Said About Lust: 5 Things To Learn

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Matthew 5:28 (KJV) says, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”  Matthew 5:28, part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, challenges us to examine the condition of our hearts and minds. It goes beyond outward actions and addresses the inner motivations that shape our behavior.

Here are five key lessons  we can draw from Matthew 5:28:

1. Sin Begins in the Heart  

Jesus emphasizes that sin isn’t just about physical actions—it starts in the heart. Lustful thoughts are as sinful as committing adultery because they reflect the same internal rebellion against God’s design for purity. Proverbs 4:23  reminds us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”  Our thoughts and intentions matter deeply to God.

Be vigilant about what you allow into your mind through media, entertainment, or unchecked thoughts. Guarding your heart is essential for spiritual and relational health.

2. God’s Standard Is Holiness, Not Just Outward Compliance  

The Pharisees focused on external obedience to the law, but Jesus calls us to a higher standard—holiness of heart and mind. Adultery isn’t just a physical act; it begins with impure desires. 1 Samuel 16:7  declares, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  God cares about the purity of our inner lives.

Pursue holiness not just in actions but in attitudes. Regularly ask God to search your heart and reveal areas that need cleansing (Psalm 139:23-24 ).

3. Accountability for Thoughts and Intentions  

This verse makes it clear that we are accountable not only for what we do but also for what we think. Allowing lustful thoughts to take root is equivalent to crossing a boundary God has set. 2 Corinthians 10:5  instructs us to “take every thought captive to obey Christ.”  Our thoughts have power, and unchecked ones can lead to destructive behaviors.

When inappropriate thoughts arise, immediately redirect your focus to things that are pure, noble, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8 ).

4. The Importance of Self-Control  

Lust thrives when self-control is absent. Jesus calls us to exercise discipline over our eyes and minds. Job 31:1  provides an example of intentional self-control: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.”  Choosing where to direct our gaze reflects our commitment to honor God and others.

Set boundaries around what you watch, read, and consume. Cultivate habits that strengthen self-control, such as prayer, fasting, and accountability with trusted friends.

5. A Call to Radical Measures Against Temptation  

In the verses following Matthew 5:28, Jesus urges drastic action if something causes us to stumble: “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out… If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off”  (Matthew 5:29-30). While this is hyperbolic language, the point is clear: take radical steps to avoid temptation. Sin has serious consequences, and avoiding it requires decisive action.

Identify triggers or environments that lead to lustful thoughts and remove them from your life. This might mean limiting screen time, installing accountability software, or seeking godly counsel to address deeper struggles.

How To Build A Relationship Rooted in Christ

How To Build A Relationship Rooted in Christ

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1. Define Dating Discipleship

Dating discipleship is about seeing your relationship as a way to grow closer to God and each other. It’s intentional, faith-centered dating that moves beyond simple activities to a deeper spiritual connection.

2. Recognize Why Shared Faith Matters

Sharing a faith foundation creates alignment in values and goals. With God as your base, you gain a toolkit for tackling challenges together, helping both of you stay grounded and connected.

3. Set Spiritual Goals Together

Set goals beyond everyday plans, like praying, studying the Bible, or serving together. Spiritual goals, even in small steps, deepen your bond and align you with God’s purpose.

4. Work on Growth Together

Challenges will come, but a shared faith gives you the resources to handle them. Communicate openly, respect each other’s journeys, and seek guidance from mentors for a grounded, faith-based approach.

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5. Enjoy Faith with Fun

Balance spiritual growth with fun! Try daily devotions, worship together, or celebrate small faith milestones to keep things light and enjoyable as you build spiritual unity.

6. Face Real Challenges Faithfully

When conflicts arise, address them with honest communication, pray together, and seek outside perspectives from a mentor or pastor. Faith offers peace and patience to work through hard times.

7. Build a Faith-Based Community

Surround yourself with supportive friends, small groups, or couples’ retreats. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us that community can strengthen faith, providing encouragement and accountability.

8. Cultivate a Faith-Focused Culture in Your Relationship

Practice gratitude, talk about spiritual experiences, and create simple faith-based traditions, like weekly prayer or sharing reflections, to make faith a natural part of your relationship.

9. Envision the Long Term

If marriage is the goal, use dating discipleship to build a foundation. Discuss future visions for family, finances, and ongoing faith growth, setting up a lifetime of shared values.

10. Embrace Dating Discipleship as a Lifelong Journey


Dating discipleship isn’t about perfection. It’s a journey of faith, growth, and love. Stay true to your faith, enjoy the journey, and keep building a relationship that reflects God’s love.

Dating discipleship transforms your relationship into a spiritual journey, helping you grow closer to God while nurturing the love for each other.