Learning to Love Through Tolerance
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Relationships demand more than fleeting emotion. They require something deeper, sturdier, and often uncomfortable, which is tolerance. It’s not flashy, and it rarely gets applauded. Yet, the quiet strength keeps relationships from crumbling under the weight of human imperfection.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV),
That phrase, “bearing with one another,” holds within it the heart of tolerance. It doesn’t mean putting up with abuse or neglect. It means making room for the rough edges of another soul, edges God might still be shaping.
For the married, this is often tested in the daily rhythm of life. How your spouse leaves the kitchen after cooking, how they process stress, or even how they express affection may not align with your preferences. But tolerance says, “I choose grace. I choose to love you as you are today, not just as I hope you’ll be tomorrow.”
Singles aren’t exempt from this refining process. Whether it’s in friendships, dating, or family dynamics, there’s always an invitation to practice humility and gentleness. Culture often encourages quick exits when discomfort arises, but Scripture calls us to lean in instead.
“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians 3:13 (ESV)
The root of tolerance is love laced with patience. It is recognizing that others are works in progress, just like you. It’s resisting the urge to reshape people into our image and allowing God to do His work in His time.
There is also the other side: allowing others to tolerate us. That means being aware of our own weaknesses and accepting grace when it’s given. That’s humbling. But it levels the ground in any relationship, keeping pride in check.
For the single person waiting for marriage, or the married person weathering seasons of frustration, here’s a truth worth holding onto: Tolerance isn’t settling, it’s sowing. You are planting seeds of mercy, humility, and steadfastness that mirror the very nature of Christ. It won’t always feel rewarding in the moment, but it will shape your heart and your relationships into something deeply resilient.
May God help us to love beyond convenience.
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