How Men Can Earn Authority in Relationships or Marriage

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Yesterday, we started looking at how and why men are losing authority. We will continue in that light today.

How to Earn the Authority You’re Demanding.

1) Master Yourself First

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)

Get your finances in order
Control your temper
Break free from addictions
Develop emotional intelligence
Take care of your physical health
Grow spiritually through consistent discipline

2) Serve Before You Lead

Find ways to serve your partner or family without being asked

Anticipate needs
Do the unglamorous tasks
Sacrifice your preferences
Put their well-being before your comfort

3) Become a Student

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)

Read books on marriage, leadership, and emotional intelligence
Listen more than you speak
Seek counsel from older, wiser men
Learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them

4) Lead by Example

“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” (Titus 2:7)

Don’t just tell your family what to do, show them. You want them to pray? They should see you praying. You want them to read Scripture? They should see you reading Scripture. You want respect? Show them what respectability looks like.

5) Own Your Failures

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Real men apologize when they’re wrong. They admit mistakes. They don’t blame others but take responsibility.

6) Seek God First

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)

Your relationship with God must be your foundation. Everything else flows from there.

Biblical submission is a woman’s RESPONSE to godly leadership, not her obligation despite ungodly leadership. When you love your wife like Christ loves the church, when you’re serving, sacrificing, protecting, providing, and prioritizing her good, submission becomes natural. It’s not forced or demanded, it just flows from trust and respect.

It’s time to grow up, earn the authority you’re demanding. It’s time to lead like Jesus led through service, sacrifice, and love. The women are scaling up. The question is: Will you?

Shalom!