Forgiveness Is Not Amnesia

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Forgiveness Is Not Amnesia

Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.

Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE

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Forgiveness Is Not Amnesia

“Just forgive and forget” sounds great until you’ve been hurt by someone you love. However, it’s important to forgive.

But can we really “forget”? Or what does “forgive and forget” really mean?

Here’s the truth:

Forgiveness is not amnesia. It’s not pretending it didn’t happen. It’s choosing not to weaponise what happened. That’s what “forgive and forget” really means.

Many relationships—friendships, courtships, marriages—break down because one or both parties never learned how to forgive well.

Dear singles, you can’t afford to carry the bitterness of your ex into the world of your future spouse.

You can’t keep your heart locked up and expect intimacy to bloom. Yes, people have hurt you. Lied to you. Played with your heart. But if you don’t forgive well, their offence becomes your prison.

Married couples would have found out, by experience (lol), that forgiveness is not a one-time decision—it’s a daily discipline.

You can’t do life with someone closely and not bump into their weaknesses.

Some days, you’ll need to forgive the tone.

Other days, you’ll need to forgive the forgetfulness.

And sometimes, it’s something deeper.

So here’s what forgiving well looks like—whether in marriage, friendship, or anything in between:

1. You stop replaying the scene to justify your anger.

2. You choose healing over rehearsing.

3. You set boundaries, but not bitterness.

4. You learn to confront with humility, not hostility.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean they were right. It means you’re ready to heal.

It doesn’t always restore the relationship to what it was, but it restores your heart to peace.

You don’t forgive because they deserve it.

You forgive because you deserve freedom.

Relationships only thrive where forgiveness flows freely. Not because we’re perfect, but because we’re learning to love like Jesus.