COUPLES – How To Show Respect To Your Spouse – Part 2
What are the practical ways to show respect to yourselves in marriage?
1. Know that your spouse is so very special before God. Your spouse is bought with the precious blood of Jesus. Jesus would have come to die for your spouse alone.
2. Do not yell at your spouse. You may be angry but never yell.
3. Allow freedom of expression. It is okay to be different. That’s why you married in the first place. Men and women are meant to be different.
4. Let your spouse feel safe, secure, and trusted by building mutual respect.
5. When you have opposing opinions which will happen most times, you listen. Your listening shows respect.
6. Respect that your spouse is worth listening to. He/ she has something vital to bring to the table.
7. Allow healthy space when it is needed, it shows respect. Let your spouse be by him/herself, have her own friends, her own things etc
8. Do not control one another. Your relationship is unhealthy when there is the slightest control. God asks us to love, not control. Jesus never controlled the church.
9. Both spouses should admit once they are wrong and sincerely seek forgiveness. Swallow your pride and admit you are wrong and apologize.
10. Never treat one another shabbily, in private or public. Show appreciation for every little thing your spouse does. Don’t take each other for granted.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY my marriage is blessed in all ramifications.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will enable you to pay the price for the fullness of His blessings in your home.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:4 [AMP]Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
Against contrary opinions, respect in marriage is mutual. People are of the opinion that respect for the husbands is a big deal. Yes, it is. Just as men do not want to be disrespected in private or public, so also do women need a dose of respect.
Men can readily tell what a bruised ego is and in this part of the world, an average man will not tolerate being disrespected in any form, method, shape, or size. In other to have a relationship that is healthy and mutually beneficial, respect has to be mutual.
Some of us don’t even know when we are being disrespected. The gospel of men’s dominance has been preached for so long that women feel they are not worth much, that they are just worthless, less than good, helpless, weaker vessels.
Contrary, women have tremendous strength, ability, knowledge, wisdom, and great dexterity. It takes great strength to be a mother and give birth to a child. To keep a home, multitask, submit to your husband and stay married. All these take great strength.
But if we are going to have a healthy marriage relationship, we would know that submission to one another in the fear of God is essential. A man not submitted to Christ is a difficult man and hard to submit to.
This is not teaching or telling wives not to submit to their husbands. It is addressing the fact that marriage is meant to be mutually beneficial to both the husband and the wife.
What are the practical ways to show respect to yourselves in marriage?
I will write about that tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed in all ramifications.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will enable you to pay the price for the fullness of His blessings in your home.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:4 [AMP]Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
Every wife should get to a point where no matter how loving and romantic and cordial they are with their spouses, they still give God His place.
God deserves the first place in our lives and He wants to have all of our hearts, minds, energy, and best of our beings. God is a jealous God and He will not share His glory with any other man, not even our husbands.
Our husbands no matter how much they love us, they cannot love us like Jesus. They cannot die for us. That’s why Jesus is the lover of our souls. He alone can love deeply and extravagantly.
If our husbands are godly, God will reveal to them how to love and treat us. But that also depends on how well they can receive from the Lord.
Our spouses at the very best are still ‘human’. They are not given to meet all our needs. They can only try. God wants our attention, focus, love and worship.
You cannot beg to be loved. Rather, look to God to meet your deepest emotional needs.
Most spouses’ don’t even understand their wives. We are so wired differently. So sometimes, they are not being wicked, they don’t just have a clue on how to love us the right way and that is when God steps in. He wants to meet all our emotional, spiritual, social, and physical needs. He knows us because He created us.
There are some of our needs that we don’t even understand or can articulate in the right way or with the right words, making it difficult for even our husbands to try to meet.
So take the frustration off your husband and off your marriage. Let your spouse do what he can do and allow God do what He can and wants to do.
Don’t let your esteem or self worth come solely from your spouse. Your self worth should come from God.
You are very special to God. You worth so much to Him. You are royalty. You are the apple of His eyes. God will go all the way to protect you.
For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the Lord hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. – Isaiah 54:5 – 6 KJV
The scripture is telling us that thy Maker is thy husband. God is not just trying to be our husband or writing an application to be our husbands.
We have to receive this words, believe it and walk in the light of it. We have to mediate on it so much until it becomes real to our hearts. God is saying we are Mrs God. What a privilege! We are not just His princesses, we are married to Him.
He is our maker. He understands us. He knows our wiring because He put them there. He knows what words to speak to us per time.
We are married to the Almighty, all powerful, the wealthiest being on the earth and in heaven. Hallelujah! Its so comforting and refreshing to know God finds you so lovely, flawless and gorgeous.
Some other women are being treated harshly by their husbands. They are oppressed, bullied and abused. God wants you to shift your focus from the hurt you are experiencing. Give that hurt to God your husband. He knows how to fix it. God is introducing Himself as the Lord of hosts. You are Royalty, her Royal Majesty.
Never forget that. Find a way to always remind yourself that. I always wear a tiny chain around my neck to remind me that I am royalty. I am loved by God.
I will get into what it means to have God as your husband tomorrow by God’s grace.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I enjoy the love of God in my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father I receive help to be all you desire me to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 54:5 For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Say to yourself: God is my husband
There are different types, kinds, shades and forms of trouble in life and of course in marriage. Some of these troubles we face in marriage are due to our carelessness most of the times, while others are just the devil wanting to stir up issues.
Whichever way, God has told us how to handle troubles in His word.
I must admit that there are some troubles or challenges that are so bigger than us. There is no way we can come out of them successfully without God intervening.
King David, even though he was God’s beloved Psalmist, faced different situations way bigger and stronger than him. The good news is that God brought him over them all.
When troubles comes, at whatever season in our marriage, if we are believers, we are assured victory.
Some challenges are spiritual and must be dealt with by engaging in spiritual warfare. Whether they are in-law issues, financial, child birth, barrenness, betrayal, infidelity issues, health issues or we just noticed some resistance on our way, or there are constant quarrels between us as couples that really has no basis, or any other attack on our marriage, it calls for spiritual warfare.
That is the time we should deal with and take charge of whatever strange oppressive spirit from the devil that wants to destroy our marriages.
We must know how to intercede for our marriages more than anything else. We fight on our knees.
The bible says
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; – 2 Corinthians 10:3 – 5 KJV
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. – James 4:7 KJV
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. – Luke 10:19 KJV
Our major work is to bind the wrong spirit behind such issues and loose the power of God. We come against the different spirits causing troubles for us and not allowing us to enjoy peace, love and joy in our marriage.
Some problems are not with the third party, but with our spouses. You have to learn to take charge and exercise authority over such anti peace, anti unity spirit. All they are after is to cause division, disunity, distress and fight in the marriage.
Also praying for the eyes of the understanding of the other party to open is important.
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, – Ephesians 1:17 – 18 KJV
By the time you have engaged in spiritual warfare, God promised victory. The victory may not come the way we we want, but victory is sure and peace will be restored into our marriage.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for wisdom to handle marital troubles
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. – Luke 10:19 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take authority over the devil.
Yesterday, I established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to worth his threefold agenda in marriages. This is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immured to the strategies and attacks of the enemy.
He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snuff out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
It is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God, get rid of hurts, and make sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder. There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim of the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle it include:
1. Vengeance or Retaliation
This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart
We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt
We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or events that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degrees of hurt. But whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our hearts and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our hearts against hurts is by taking communion. Try it, it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also, take authority over the hurt, and exercise authority over words that cause hurt.
Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there is an exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with, you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness to defile you.
Let your heart be void of offense, bitterness, or hurt; against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
