Many people enter relationships with high hopes, only to watch them crumble. But why does this happen? Is love not enough? The truth is, love alone does not sustain a relationship. Wisdom, commitment, and divine guidance do.
First, you need to understand that marriage is not the union of two perfect people. Rather, it is the coming together of two imperfect individuals, choosing to walk in love daily and grace as God leads them. No one is 100% perfect, and that’s okay.
However, when relationships fail, there are often clear reasons why.
1. Absence of the Instructor (God)
Marriage was designed by God, and He alone knows how it should function. In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” Yet, many couples walk into marriage without the One who created it. When challenges arise, they find themselves lost, with no divine wisdom to navigate through. A relationship without God is like a ship without a compass that drifts or crashes eventually.
2. A Mismatch in Faith
When you marry someone who does not share your faith, you are building on different foundations. A spouse who does not understand your beliefs or values may struggle to align with your vision.
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).
This spiritual disconnect creates frustration, leading to discord and, ultimately, failure.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
Expectations are natural, but when they are too high or completely unrealistic, they set the stage for disappointment. Many people enter relationships with fairy-tale dreams, only to face the reality that their partner is human. Instead of focusing on what they lack, appreciate the little things they do. A heart of gratitude strengthens love.
4. Lack of Purpose
God did not institute marriage just for companionship or procreation. It’s also a divine partnership with a purpose (Genesis 1:28). When a couple lacks a shared vision, marriage can become monotonous, leading to frustration and dissatisfaction. Purpose fuels passion. When both partners understand their God-given assignment, it brings joy and fulfillment to their union.
5. Selfishness
Marriage is not about me, it’s about us. When selfishness takes over, decisions are made without considering the other person’s feelings or well-being.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3).
A healthy relationship thrives on mutual sacrifice, compromise, and a willingness to prioritize the needs of one’s partner.
Every relationship has challenges, but with God as the foundation, shared faith, realistic expectations, purpose, and selflessness, it can stand the test of time.
Are you building your relationship on the right foundation? If not, it’s never too late to start.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)
Let God be the center, and watch your love flourish.
Marriage, they say, is the only institution where you receive a certificate even before you start. It is a lifelong journey, and the person you choose to walk with determines where and how you end up. Your spouse has a significant impact on your future, destiny, and purpose in life.
The question of whom to marry is a crucial one that requires sincere answers. Many people seem good, kind, and caring, but that does not necessarily mean they are God’s best for you as a life partner.
When I say “marry from your tribe,” I’m not referring to ethnicity, nationality, or cultural background. I’m talking about the tribe of Christ, which is the body of believers.
The Bible clearly states
[Amos 3:3] “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
A partner who does not share your faith and convictions will eventually create division, which will make walking in unity difficult.
Your tribe is not just someone who goes to church but a true believer in Christ. Someone who shares the same understanding of salvation, grace, and the Lordship of Jesus.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Being in the same church does not mean you share the same faith. Someone can be religious without being saved. True compatibility in Christ goes beyond attending services together. It means having the same foundation in faith.
If you believe in living a life of holiness, prayer, and service to God, marrying someone who doesn’t share those values will only bring conflict.
For example:
If you are convicted about modesty, don’t marry someone who believes otherwise, hoping they will change. Or if you belong to the no ornaments tribe, don’t marry someone who loves jewelry, expecting them to abandon it after marriage.
Yes, change is possible through God, but some changes require deep personal conviction. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” (Psalm 127:1)
Steps to Marry from God’s Tribe
1. Be a Part of the Tribe First
Before looking for a godly spouse, ensure that you are rooted in Christ. You cannot find the right person if you are not the right person.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
2. Pray for Divine Guidance
Marriage is not just about emotions; it’s a spiritual covenant. Seek God’s direction before making a choice.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
3. Observe Their Fruit, Not Just Their Words
Jesus said, By their fruits, you will know them. Matthew 7:16
A godly spouse should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23.
4. Check for Doctrinal Agreement
Do you both believe in salvation by grace? Do you both understand the role of faith, prayer, and obedience to God? Differences in core beliefs can create future conflicts.
5. Seek Godly Counsel
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14
Involve spiritual mentors, pastors, or mature believers in your decision-making process.
Marriage is a journey that should bring joy, not sorrow. You can either enjoy marriage or manage marriage. Let your standard go beyond the physical. Choose wisely and within the tribe of God.
One of the tools the devil uses against the body of Christ is to capitalize on the believer’s ignorance but the question is; Are believers truly ignorant?
The word of God says in Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge…” Why should we be destroyed, because we lack knowledge when it can be sought for?
In every season of the believer’s life, the right knowledge is needed. It’s about time we understand the authority we have and use it to our advantage.
Jesus Christ said, “Behold, I give unto you power” That power given is meant for use and not to be kept.
Why should you wake up from a dream frightened, when there’s an authority you have in Christ as a believer?
Why is our attitude to positive dreams so calm, but when it’s a negative dream, you can wake up suddenly and pray for hours, just to terminate it, why can’t we pray those positive ones into reality also?
The first authority we have is our identity in Christ. The life of Christ has been given to us to become the sons of God, who have been transformed into the kingdom of His marvelous life. Jesus Christ said on the cross, “It is finished.”
The word of the enemy over our life is finished, the grip of sin over our life is finished, the power of sickness over our life has come to an end, whatsoever that is not of God in our life came to an end when He said, it is finished.
These are the things the devil doesn’t want you to know. The day you know the truth, there’s a freedom that comes with it, and then the application of this truth is peace, dominion, and breakthrough.
Another authority we have is in His word. Hebrews 4:12 says: “The word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…” It’s deeper than we can ever imagine, the Bible says, the words I speak, are Spirit and Life. This word will only be life for us when we know the life-giver Himself.
The efficacy of the word is activated by God. The word is beyond mere words, you must read it till it becomes the life that awakens your spirit man.
These words established the world, and that’s the authority we are talking about, even the dry bones in the valley received life by the word.
Irrespective of the bad reports that look like the end, the word of God can give life back to it.
Believers, it’s time for us to arise and take our stand. Enough of giving the devil an upper hand over our lives, it’s time to take charge and authority.
Begin to speak those same words into your life now believing it’s done.
There are different stages of life that man may experience a wait. This wait could be for a job, a spouse, the fruit of the womb, a breakthrough, relocation, or an answered prayer.
The in-between season is never easy, it can be frustrating and uncertain. But in God’s kingdom, waiting is never wasted.
One thing you have to understand first is that your journey is different. Do not let comparisons or complaints enter your conversation with God or man.
The likes of Abraham, Joseph, Hannah, Moses, David, etc… experienced waiting seasons, so yours isn’t the first.
Meanwhile, the waiting season is not just about patience, it’s about preparation, transformation, and deep trust in God.
Below are four ways to maximize your waiting season:
1. Seek God Intentionally
The waiting season is the perfect time to draw closer to God. This season is to deepen your prayer life and meditate on His Word. The Bible says in Lamentations 3:25, The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” Instead of complaining, cultivate a heart that seeks God daily.
2. Develop Yourself
While you wait, invest in personal growth. Learn new skills, read, and become the best version of yourself. Isaiah 40:31a says “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…” This means waiting is not passive. It’s a time of renewal and preparation.
3. Serve Faithfully
Your waiting season can be a time of impact and blessing. So, engage in service to God and others. When Joseph was in prison, he didn’t waste his time, he served and interpreted dreams. This ultimately led to his elevation in Genesis 41:14.
4. Hold onto Faith
Waiting often comes with doubts, but remind yourself that God’s timing is perfect. Habakkuk 2:3 says, “Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come.” Have a strong belief that God is aligning things in His divine way.
Waiting season isn’t punishment, it’s preparation. So, embrace the process, trust God’s timing, and use this season wisely.
Affirm with me: Every waiting is working for my good! (Romans 8:28).
God’s love is the foundation of our faith. It is not just an abstract concept but a reality that He constantly reveals in our lives.
His love is evident in everything He does because love is an action word.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
The love of God comes with actions each time He expresses it to us. He’s so intentional about you and I that He gave us dominion and access through His son (Jesus Christ) whom He made our advocate.
How does God demonstrate His love for His children?
God demonstrates His love for His children in many ways, and the Bible is full of examples of His deep and unchanging love through:
1. Jesus Christ’s Sacrifice
God’s greatest demonstration of love is sending Jesus to die for our sins. Jesus Christ is His only begotten son and the second in trinity yet He gave Him out for the atonement of our sins. (Romans 5:8)
2. Adoption after Redemption
After the redemption Jesus Christ brought to us, we were now called sons and daughters of God which is an incredible access to God. God doesn’t just love us, He adopts us into His family.
1 John 3:1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are.
The day we give our life to Christ is the signage of our adoption.
3. Provision for our Needs
God cares about every detail of our lives, including our daily needs. The word of God says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) He is ever ready to show up for us in time of need. All that we need is to ask so we can receive from Him.
In conclusion, no matter where you are in life, single or married, employed or unemployed, trust in His love, it is always present, always faithful, and always enough.
