In today’s culture, many singles find themselves in “situationships”, a connection with chemistry and consistency but without clarity or commitment. It offers the thrills of romance without the responsibility of real love. The problem is subtle but serious: it slowly steals your time, focuses your emotions on uncertainty, and blocks you from being available to the right person. Scripture says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Guarding your heart means guarding your time, attention, and future.
Situationships thrive on mixed signals and momentary comfort. It looks like late-night chats with no plans, affection without accountability, and the question no one answers: “What are we?” God is not the author of confusion but peace (1 Corinthians 14:33). If the dynamic constantly produces anxiety, it’s not leading you toward covenant. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Agreement is the minimum requirement for progress.
Quick heart-check questions:
• Do we share a clearly stated intention for this relationship?
• Does this connection move me toward purpose and godly standards?
• If I walked away today, would I feel relieved or regretful?
Practical steps to break free from situationships:
1) Name it if it isn’t committed. Call it what it is. (Ephesians 4:25).
2) State your boundaries and communicate your standard for exclusivity and timelines (Philippians 4:7).
3) Require alignment if definitions are dodged, and take it as direction to move on (Proverbs 19:20–21).
4) Seek counsel and share with a mentor/pastor for wisdom (Proverbs 11:14; James 1:5).
5) Refill your schedule with purpose, serving, learning, and community so your heart isn’t tempted to return to crumbs.
Remember- Ruth’s purposeful movement positioned her for covenant; she wasn’t stuck in cycles (Ruth 2–3).
Pray this: “Lord, establish my steps in Your word; let no in-between relationship have dominion over me.”
In Christian dating, boundaries are to create a safe space where two people can grow together while keeping God at the center of the relationship. The Bible states in 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 that it is God’s will for us to live in holiness and avoid sexual immorality in other to learn how to control our bodies in a way that honors God.
Boundaries are part of that obedience. They serve two important purposes which is to protect you spiritually and emotionally. When you and your partner are intentional about limits, maybe it’s physical touch, how late you spend time together, or what kind of conversations you entertain, you reduce opportunities for temptation and confusion. Instead, you give your relationship room to be built on respect, trust, and accountability.
Secondly, boundaries show love. It may seem strange, but when you say “No” to certain things in dating, you’re really saying “yes” to honoring your partner’s soul and future. Healthy limits keep you from using each other for temporary satisfaction and help prepare both of you for a lasting Christ-centered marriage.
Some practical boundaries could include:
Setting limits on physical intimacy so things don’t escalate beyond what honors God.
Avoid situations that put you in unnecessary temptation (for example, being alone late at night for long hours).
Being intentional about the kind of conversations you have. Keep them pure, uplifting, and respectful.
Seeking accountability from a trusted mentor or couple who can speak into your journey.
Boundaries may feel restrictive at first, but in reality, they create freedom. They free you from guilt, regret, and constant second-guessing. They free you to focus on truly knowing the other person’s values, character, and walk with God.
The goal of Christian dating is growth, and boundaries help ensure that your love story grows in a way that reflects God’s design.
In our hyper-connected world, love stories are everywhere. Your Instagram feed showcases picture-perfect proposals, your friends announce engagements with ring selfies, and dating apps promise instant connections. It’s no wonder that many of us find ourselves measuring our romantic journey against these highlight reels.
Comparison quietly robs you of joy and makes you question God’s timeline for your life.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
Consider the diversity of love stories even within Scripture:
• Isaac and Rebekah: An arranged marriage that blossomed into deep love (Genesis 24)
• Jacob and Rachel: A seven-year courtship marked by obstacles and waiting (Genesis 29)
• Ruth and Boaz: A widow who found love through faithfulness and divine providence (Book of Ruth)
• Mary and Joseph: A couple called to extraordinary circumstances requiring tremendous faith (Matthew 1)
Each story was different, yet perfectly orchestrated by God’s hand.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Some relationships blossom quickly, like spring flowers after the first warm rain. Others take years to grow, like mighty oak trees that require deep roots and patient seasons.
Some people meet their future spouse in church during a worship service, others in the workplace over shared projects, and some only after walking through a long season of singleness that prepared their hearts.
None of these paths are “less spiritual” or “more blessed” than the others. They’re simply different chapters in God’s bigger story.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Here are Practical Steps to Trust God’s Timeline
1. Limit Social Media Consumption
If scrolling through engagement announcements consistently leaves you feeling discouraged, consider taking breaks from social media or unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison.
2. Practice Gratitude
Keep a gratitude journal, noting the good things God is doing in your life right now, regardless of your relationship status.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
3. Invest in Personal Growth
Use this season to become the person God wants you to be. Read books, attend counseling if needed, develop your gifts, and pursue your passions.
4. Serve Others
Sometimes, the best way to stop obsessing over our own timeline is to invest in others’ lives. Volunteer, mentor someone younger, or find ways to use your gifts in ministry.
5. Surround Yourself with Like-Minds (Community)
Find friends who will remind you of God’s faithfulness and your identity in Christ, especially during seasons of waiting.
God is writing a beautiful story with your life, including your love life. Trust the Author who knows the perfect beginning, middle, and end. Your chapter is coming at exactly the right time, and it will be more beautiful than anything you could have planned for yourself.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
There’s a reason God sometimes delays the kind of love you think you’re ready for. God is more concerned about your heart than your relationship status. Many people rush into love thinking it will heal the wounds they have faced, i.e, loneliness, rejection, heartbreak, and fear. The truth is, love doesn’t heal you. God is the only healer of body and soul.
When you don’t give God access to your broken places, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you. You will expect your partner to fill voids only God was meant to satisfy. That’s why some relationships feel like cycles of disappointment because what you’re really craving is healing, not romance.
Before Adam ever received Eve, he was whole, walking with God, working, and worshipping. It was in that place of completeness that God decided it was not good for him to be alone. He didn’t say Adam was lonely. He said he was ready.
Meanwhile, being healed before dating doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you’ve let God into the mess to allow Him to make sense out of your story, and you’re no longer depending on someone else to fix you. Relationships thrive when two whole people meet, not when two broken hearts try to make each other breathe.
God is not punishing you by keeping you single. He’s preparing you. Don’t despise the season of healing. It is the foundation for the love story you’re praying for. As Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Let Him bind up yours.
When you let God heal you, you stop chasing temporary affection and start attracting purpose-aligned love, and that’s the kind of relationship worth waiting for.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. spread the word!
No one talks about how scary it is to fall out of love with someone you thought you’d love forever.
One minute, they’re your answered prayer; the next, you struggle to feel anything. You smile less and withdraw more. The connection that once lit up your world now feels like a flickering flame.
But before you make any rash decisions, pause. Love is a commitment, not an emotion. Feelings fade, but godly love doesn’t. The Bible says, “Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13:7–8). So the spark isn’t gone, maybe it’s just buried under disappointment, unmet expectations, or unspoken frustrations.
Falling out of love doesn’t always mean the relationship is over; sometimes, it’s time to rebuild.
Ask yourself:
Have we stopped communicating?
Have we stopped praying together?
Have we grown apart because we’ve stopped growing with God?
Many relationships drift because people stop being intentional. Love can’t thrive where neglect lives.
What if you’ve done all you can and the feeling is still gone? Then you need to be honest with yourself, with them, and with God. Staying in a relationship out of guilt, fear, or obligation is not God’s will. He wants you in a relationship that brings peace, not confusion. “God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown…” (Hebrews 6:10).
If you’re in this space where you’re no longer sure, don’t run, reflect. Also, don’t settle; seek clarity from the One who knows your heart even when you don’t. God is not afraid of your silence, confusion, or breaking point. He specializes in restoring what feels lost. However, He also gives you the grace to walk away when love is no longer aligned with His Will.
