There’s a growing crisis in relationships today, and it’s making both men and women frustrated, confused, and bitter. Men are asking, Why won’t she submit? while women are asking, Why should I follow someone who acts this way?
The present generation of men wants the authority their grandfathers had. They want to quote “wives submit to your husbands” while conveniently skipping the part about dying for their wives.
Meanwhile, women are waking up, educated, financially independent, spiritually growing, emotionally intelligent, and asking a fair question: “Why should I submit to someone who hasn’t earned the right to lead?”
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.” (James 3:1)
If you want authority, understand that God holds leaders to a higher standard. Yes, the Bible speaks about male leadership in marriage and family.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28)
Did you catch that? Biblical authority isn’t about SACRIFICE nor CONTROL. It’s about loving your wife the way Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He died for it. Not occasionally inconvenienced or slightly bothered. He gave everything. He put her needs above His own. He washed feet. He served. He protected. He provided. He led by example.
That’s the biblical standard for male authority. If you’re not willing to meet that standard, you have no business demanding submission.
In today’s digital age, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives, but it has also introduced new challenges into romantic relationships. Establishing healthy boundaries around social media use is about honoring God and your partner in the way you present yourself and your relationship to the world.
Social media boundaries begin with trust and transparency. When couples openly discuss their expectations about online interactions, they create a foundation built on mutual respect. This aligns with Proverbs 27:5, which tells us, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Honest conversations about what feels comfortable regarding likes, comments, direct messages, and connections with ex-partners prevent misunderstandings and build deeper intimacy.
The Bible emphasizes the importance of guarding our hearts and minds. Philippians 4:8 instructs us to focus on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable.” This principle should guide how we engage with content and people on social platforms. If certain interactions or content consumption create jealousy, temptation, or discord in your relationship, it may be time to establish firmer boundaries.
Social media can become a breeding ground for comparison and dissatisfaction when couples constantly expose themselves to others’ highlight reels. Set limits on sharing intimate details of your relationship online. Some moments are sacred and meant to be private between you, your partner, and God. Matthew 6:6 speaks about the importance of private devotion: “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.”
Effective social media boundaries might include agreeing not to air relationship conflicts publicly, being transparent about friendships and interactions with others, limiting time spent on social platforms when together, and regularly evaluating how social media affects your relationship’s health.
Ultimately, healthy social media boundaries reflect a couple’s commitment to prioritizing their relationship and glorifying God in their digital interactions. When both partners willingly establish and respect these boundaries, they create space for deeper connection, greater trust, and a relationship that honors the Creator who designed love itself.
The goal isn’t to eliminate social media entirely but to use it in ways that strengthen rather than strain your relationship.
In a world of DMs, emojis, and constant access, it’s easy for lighthearted banter to morph into emotional entanglement. Flirting can be harmless play, but when it plants expectations you have no intention to nurture, it becomes deception. The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in people who are trustworthy (Proverbs 12:22). Kingdom relationships require clarity, consistency, and care.
Where’s the line? Ask:
– Does my communication suggest commitment I’m not offering?
– Do my repeated compliments, late-night conversations, and exclusivity signal more than I intend?
Jesus counsels radical clarity: “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’” (Matthew 5:37). Paul adds, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6). Grace communicates kindly while salt preserves the truth.
Guardrails for integrity: 1) Communicate purpose and be upfront about friendship (1 Thessalonians 4:3–6; Philippians 2:3). 2) Watch the rhythm. If chats are frequent, vulnerable, and exclusive, you’re building a bond (Proverbs 4:23). 3) Set healthy boundaries for time, topics, and touch (Song of Songs 2:7; Proverbs 25:17). 4) Invite accountability loop in trusted friends/mentors to keep your motives clean (Proverbs 27:17). 5) If interest grows, honor them with direct pursuit, not hints (Proverbs 24:26).
Perhaps, you feel led on, replace assumptions with questions like: What are your intentions toward me? If answers are unclear, take that as guidance. God’s wisdom is peaceable and sincere (James 3:17). Pray for a clean heart and a clear path.
Hold on to this; love doesn’t play games, it tells the truth, protects hearts, and moves with purpose (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).
Digital dating has introduced new behaviors with old roots. Some of these dating traps are avoidance, manipulation, selfishness, ghosting, disappearing without explanation, and breadcrumbing, dropping just enough attention to keep you around, break trust, distort identity, and waste time. Yet your value is settled: “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). You were not designed for confusion or crumbs.
When someone’s words promise connection but their actions dodge commitment, you are not “needy” for wanting clarity; you are healthy. Kingdom love tells the truth (1 Corinthians 13:6; Ephesians 4:25). Jesus modeled honest, direct communication, and even hard truths in love (Ephesians 4:15). The goal is not to win attention but to walk in integrity.
Discern the traps early: 1) Inconsistent energy; hot today, cold tomorrow (James 1:8). 2) Private affection, public distance (Song of Songs 2:7; Proverbs 27:6). 3) Perpetually “busy” with no concrete plans (Proverbs 20:4).
Protect yourself wisely: 1) Raise the standard; Request clarity on intentions and timelines (Amos 3:3). 2) Match effort, not fantasy, and respond to reality, not potential (Proverbs 13:12). 3) Bring community in; Seek counsel from mentors/pastors (Proverbs 15:22). 4) Keep your peace; If their presence creates constant anxiety, step back (Philippians 4:7; Colossians 3:15). 5) Don’t audition for love. Jesus already secured it. (Romans 8:32, 38–39).
If you’ve been ghosted, resist bitterness. Release them and bless them (Romans 12:17–21). God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Clarity is not too much to ask. It is the path of love.
Few weights feel heavier for singles than the ticking birthday clock, friend’s marriage, parents asking questions, and culture whispers, “You’re late.” But Kingdom timing is different: He has made everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). God writes stories with wisdom, not with panic. When age pressure drives our choices, we often trade discernment for speed, peace for performance, and purpose for people-pleasing.
Take Abraham and Sarah for example. Promise delayed wasn’t promise denied. Isaac’s birth shows that God’s timing is not fragile (Genesis 21:1–3). David was anointed long before he sat on the throne. The preparation seasons are God’s love. (1 Samuel 16; 2 Samuel 5). Meanwhile, your life is not behind, its being built. The Psalmists says ‘My times are in Your hand’ (Psalm 31:15). Let that truth unhook you from society’s stopwatch.
How to dismantle the pressure:
1. Replace comparison with calling. Peter’s race wasn’t John’s (John 21:21–22). Ask, Lord, what are You asking of me now?
2. Build while you wait. Skills, finances, emotional health, spiritual roots (Proverbs 24:27; Colossians 2:6–7).
3. Curate your inputs. Reduce voices that feed fear and amplify voices of faith (Hebrews 10:24–25).
4. Date with discernment, not desperation.
It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way (Proverbs 19:2 NIV).
5. Pray out the promises of God for your life.
Though it may tarry, wait for it. (Habakkuk 2:3).
Affirm with me:
• I refuse false deadlines; I’m aligned to God’s timeline (Isaiah 60:22). • I am being formed for a healthy covenant, not a hurried ceremony (Philippians 1:6). • I will not marry in fear, I will marry in faith (2 Timothy 1:7).
When age shouts, answer with identity. You are not late, you are led by the Lord. The Shepherd leads beside still waters (Psalm 23:2).
