The truth cannot be overemphasized. Saying the truth at all times, regardless of the consequences, is a virtue that sets the foundation for lasting relationships. That is why I smile when I see people’s checklists for a marriage partner. You’ll often find: “God-fearing,” “financially stable,” “tall,” “beautiful,” “speaks in tongues,” and so on. But rarely do you find “truthful” or “trustworthy.” And yet, without truth, everything else is at risk.
Integrity is the bedrock of peace in both singleness and marriage. It’s not just about how things are today; it’s about building a life for 30, 50 years, and beyond. Truth keeps the foundation strong. Lies may seem small today, but they ripple out into the future with painful consequences.
To date, some people still don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. Why? Because a few soldiers were paid to tell a lie
Matthew 28:12-15 [MEV] When the chief priests were assembled with the elders and had taken counsel, they gave much money to the soldiers, saying, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole Him away while we weresleeping.’ If this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you secure.” So they took the money and did as they were instructed. And this saying has been commonly reported among the Jews to this day.
Their decision not to speak the truth has had eternal consequences for countless lives. Whenever we choose deception, no matter how “harmless” it seems, we are potentially robbing others of their peace, their trust, and even their destiny.
Whether you’re single or married, let truth be your banner. If you’re waiting for a spouse, ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes not just to beauty or charisma, but to integrity. If there’s a red flag to take seriously, it’s the inability to be truthful.
If you’re already married, let truth guide your home. Don’t allow fear or pride to choke honesty. A marriage where truth is absent is one step closer to decay, no matter how spiritually vibrant it may appear on the surface.
May Godhelp us to love the truth, speak the truth, and walk in integrity.
Several things should be considered before signing the dotted lines with anybody. I have outlined four of them, which I hope you’ll find useful.
1. Hear God.
Yes, that has to be the first thing. Make sure you hear God audibly. Make sure God is the one leading you into that marriage.
Do you know why?
Matt 7:25-27 [ESV] And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
Both houses faced the same test. Whether you heard God or you heard yourself, there would be challenges. If you are sure God led you to the relationship or marriage, you can navigate those challenges together.
And if you are married already, go back to where God spoke to you about him or her. Replay those encounters in your mind. It will shoot some adrenaline into you and give the desired energy to forge ahead.
2. Get your company involved
Everyone has a company, a group of people that share similar beliefs. Don’t do a relationship in isolation. Get them involved. Carry them along. Any relationship that aims to isolate you from your company (if it’s a good company)is a red flag.
Sometimes, we get tired of running alone. Sometimes, we need someone or some people to cheer us on. That is what your company is for.
Acts 4:23 [NKJV] And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them.
If you are in the wrong company, receive the strength to exit.
3. Create boundaries
Oh yes, this has to be on the list. You need to create boundaries. A relationship with no set boundaries will settle for anything, including things that don’t reflect godly purity.
You both need to sit and talk. How far can we go? Who can we allow access to our lives? When do we call it a day, by 2 am?
Even as a couple, you need to set boundaries. Who can stay over at your place? How much influence will parents have?
Don’t just assume these issues will sort themselves out. Talk about it and take a stand.
4. Have a defined goal
If you don’t define your relationship, you will abuse it. Why I’m I in a relationship with this person? What do we want to achieve in this marriage?
The cinemas and outings are good, but be sure to ask definite questions along the way.
Ask for short and long-term goals. With that, you will know if you fit or not.
Even if you heard God, the relationship still has to be defined. How long is this relationship going to last? Don’t assume it will lead to marriage; ask.
I believe we all have been there before—a time when we just didn’t feel like going on. What is the point of serving God when my requests remain unanswered? Others who do not do half of what I do have results to show for it.
Luke 1:7 KJV And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years.
This was the ordeal of Zechariah, the priest. A servant of God who gave his all to the kingdom, yet he had an unanswered prayer – he had no child of his own. He would appear regularly to attend to the needs of the people. They looked up to him, brought their issues to him and he would take it to God.
Sometimes, I wonder how he felt anytime he went to the temple. I wonder what his wife must have said a few times. I wonder what his friends or family members would have said to him. Some people would have mocked him, but that didn’t deter Zachariah. He always showed up when due. That was how he got God’s attention.
Perhaps you are feeling discouraged about an unanswered prayer in your life. Perhaps you feel like God has gone on leave. Like Zachariah, keep showing up, for you do not know your day of visitation when God will shift his attention on you.
God appeared to Zechariah at his duty post, doing what he was supposed to do. He did not allow his childlessness to keep him at home. He went about his duty as of before. The moment you start withdrawing from church, withdrawing from praying, withdrawing from studying the word, withdrawing from the believers, the devil is happy because that is what he wants – he has your attention already.
Luke 1:8-9 KJV And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest’s office before God in the order of his course, According to the custom of the priest’s office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord.
Just like his lot was to burn incense, your lot is to praise and worship God. Your lot is to maintain an atmosphere of thanksgiving. That is how to get God’s attention. You were created to serve him. Don’t do otherwise because you are ‘husbandless’ or ‘wifeless’ Don’t entertain offence. Don’t listen to the voice that says you’ve been serving God for a long time and have nothing to show for it. Don’t give up on God yet. God likes to come in at the ‘well-stricken’ point.
As a single man or lady, you sometimes are all about yourself alone. Certain decisions are made without considering anyone. When you get married, that narrative will change. Whatever you do, you put your spouse first.
What to eat, what to wear, when to return home, where to go, how much to spend, what to buy, etc.
When taking such decisions, you will have to consider your partner.
Mk 10:8 [ESV] and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
2. Forgiveness.
There is no place where offence is frequent other than marriage. The reason is clear. You get hurt by the one you love so dearly.
Marriage is not a place to keep malice. As a matter of fact, in marriage, you forgive ahead.
Who do you think can offend you 490 times in a day?
Who? Your spouse. You don’t believe, right? Ask a married person beside you.
Mat 18v22 [NIV] Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
3. Assumptions.
Assumption is the lowest level of knowledge. In marriage, couples don’t just make babies; they talk.
They talk about everything.
What you discussed in courtship, you discuss again in marriage. Life happens, and seasons change, so the conversation you had last year may need to be revisited this year.
The moment communication dies, assumptions set in.
You can’t live your life based on hearsay. Always ask.
Oh, I am not the talking type. Really? And you want to get married?
If you don’t talk to your spouse, someone else will do the talking.
Gen 3:1 [ESV] Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
4. Teamwork.
Marriage is not a competition where you want to find out who the better parent is. You are a team. It is both of you against the world, not against each other.
You don’t have to always have the final say; that’s why you are a team.
Carry him along. Carry her along. That way, it will take extra effort for anyone to come between you.
I am an independent person. I like to do things my own way. That is very good for your level, but the moment you agree to sign the dotted lines, that mentality has to change.
Gen 2v24 [NLT] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
Some time ago, I went to pick up my son from his school. As busy as the road was, I had no issue crossing it since I was alone. On my way back, with my son, I was more careful about crossing the same road. I stood there for a very long time, waiting for the road to be entirely clear before crossing.
I remember I saw others crossing with the speed of light while I stood there, calculating my next move.
People were watching me, wondering why I was finding it difficult to cross. I heard someone say,’ this man cannot live in Lagos State.’
Eventually, when the road was clear, I crossed.
On my way to his school, I crossed the road without thinking twice. On my way back, I had a tough time crossing the road – the same road, the same me…lol.
What happened? I was more conscious the second time because I was carrying something. I was carrying someone. I was carrying my son.
That consciousness altered the way I thought, acted, and even spoke. I didn’t mind the insults rained at me. I didn’t mind the time wasted. I couldn’t afford to miscalculate because it wasn’t just me this time.
How conscious are you of the one you are carrying? It is not enough to say it. You must act it and live in that consciousness. That consciousness won’t allow you to slide your hands into a lady’s blouse. That consciousness won’t allow you to send your nude pictures to him. That consciousness won’t allow you to alter that document. That consciousness won’t allow you to take advantage of the one you are meant to protect.
Perhaps I should remind you of who you’re carrying.
II Corinthians 6:16 [NKJV] And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.”
God dwells in you. You carry God inside. Let that consciousness guide you throughout today.
