When Love Gets Tired: Understanding Emotional Fatigue in Relationships
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
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If you think love is always butterflies, then I’m sorry to let you know that it isn’t. Love is not always butterflies and long phone calls. Sometimes, love gets tired. Yes, it happens!
Love does get tired. Not tired of loving, but tired of carrying too much weight emotionally.
As a single, maybe you have poured your heart into someone who barely gave anything back. You’re always the one texting first, checking in, holding the conversation—and now you feel drained. That’s emotional fatigue. It’s your heart telling you: “This isn’t balanced” (or “e no balance!”)
My dear, it’s okay to step back. Real love shouldn’t feel like a performance where you always have to audition to be chosen. You deserve a relationship where the effort is mutual, not one-sided.
As married couples, emotional fatigue mostly creeps in silently. The busy routines, the endless responsibilities, the unspoken hurts—they simply just pile up. And before you know it, one day, one or both of you will feel like you’re running on empty.
What can you do?
1. Check in emotionally: Don’t just ask “How was your day?”—ask “How are you, really?”
2. Share the load: If one person is always giving and the other always taking, someone will burn out.
3. Create space to breathe: Sometimes, a short walk together or a quiet evening without screens can do a lot more for your marriage than a vacation.
4. Speak up early: Don’t wait till you explode. Learn to say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed” instead of pretending you’re okay.
Emotional fatigue is real, but it’s not the end. It’s a signal—an invitation to pause, recalibrate, and refill your emotional tank.
Yeah, even love needs rest. And when you honour that, your relationship becomes not just a place to give love, but to receive it too.
Cheers!
To healthy and fulfilling relationships and marriages.
I declare over you today:
You will marry well in the name of Jesus!
May the remaining part of this year bring you pleasant surprises in the name of Jesus!
That which has stood against you works for you now in the name of Jesus!
The Silent Struggle in Relationships and Marriages
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Dianna struggled deeply with masturbation. She was new in her faith, and it all started when a guy made her feel wanted through flirty chats and sexual conversations. He spoke to her in ways that made her feel special, then convinced her to explore her own body. Before she knew it, self-pleasure had become a habit.
Eventually, guilt overwhelmed her. She said:
“I feel so condemned… like God is angry with me.”
Maybe you’ve felt the same, whether you’re single or married. But here’s the truth: God is not waiting to punish you. He’s waiting to restore you.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”Romans 8:1 (NIV)
God doesn’t hold your sin over your head when you come to Him with honesty.
“Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”Hebrews 10:17 (NIV)
So… Is Masturbation Really a Big Deal?
In today’s world, it’s often seen as completely normal. “Everyone does it,” they say. Teens, singles, and even married people use it as an emotional or physical escape.
But the real question is: Is it helpful or holy for someone who wants to follow Jesus?
Sex was created by God for intimacy and unity in marriage. When we take it outside that purpose, whether with another person or by ourselves, we often end up with lust, shame, and distance from God.
Masturbation feeds the flesh but leaves the spirit starved.
“Dear friends, I urge you… to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.”1 Peter 2:11 (NIV)
This isn’t about shame. It’s about spiritual health and freedom.
So Why Do We Do It?
Sometimes it’s boredom. Sometimes loneliness. Sometimes, emotional pain. In some marriages, it might come from unmet needs or a lack of connection.
Whatever the reason, here’s a better question: What’s feeding the desire?
Porn? Romance novels? Late-night scrolling? Who are your influences? Friends? Online content? Even a spouse can sometimes encourage unhealthy habits.
“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV):
So, How Do We Break Free?
Start with Jesus. Not in fear, but in honesty.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.”Ezekiel 36:26 (NIV)
That’s a promise. And He means it.
Fill your time with scriptures, prayers, worship, community, and accountability.
And yes, cut off triggers. Don’t keep the door open to things that keep you trapped.
Also—talk to someone. A mentor, a spiritual leader, someone mature in faith. Healing begins when we bring things into the light.
You Can Be Free
Don’t believe the lie that you’ll always struggle with this. You won’t. The power of Jesus is greater than your habits.
You are not alone. You are not too far gone. And you can live free.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
One of the most powerful yet simple acts a couple can engage in is praying together. In a world where marriages are constantly under pressure, prayer becomes a binding force that strengthens not only your relationship with God but also with each other. Prayer invites God into the center of your relationship, aligning your hearts and goals with His will.
The scriptures remind us of the power of agreement in prayer:
Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.”(Matthew 18:19, ESV)
This verse isn’t just about agreement in general, but it speaks specifically to the kind of unity that comes when two people seek God by praying together. When a husband and wife come together before God, they cultivate spiritual intimacy, which naturally spills over into emotional and physical connection.
Many couples underestimate how prayer transforms conflict. When disagreements arise, as they inevitably will, prayer shifts the focus from “who’s right” to “what’s righteous.” It humbles both hearts, encouraging forgiveness and grace.
This is why James said
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.James 5:16 (NIV)
When you pray with your spouse, you are not only fighting for your marriage but also modeling a godly union that your children and others can look up to. You show that your relationship is not based merely on feelings or circumstances but on the unchanging foundation of God’s Word.
A study by the National Association of Marriage Enhancement found that less than 1% of couples who pray together daily end up divorcing. That statistic isn’t magic; it’s the fruit of prioritizing God together. Prayer opens the door to God’s peace, wisdom, and strength, which are all necessary for navigating the ups and downs of life and marriage.
Take a few minutes today to hold your spouse’s hand and talk to God together. You don’t need fancy words, just a sincere heart. Thank Him for each other, lift up your needs, ask for His guidance, and declare His promises over your marriage.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NLT)
Let Christ be that third strand in your marriage. When you pray together, you braid your love with God’s power—and that is not easily broken.
This message is for singles, too. Now is the time to build your altar of prayer. Let God shape your heart, your desires, and your expectations. Pray for your future spouse, even if you haven’t met them yet. Ask God to prepare you to be the kind of partner who brings spiritual strength into a marriage. A strong foundation in prayer while you’re single will prepare you to thrive in unity when you’re joined with another.
These days, I’ve noticed that many young people struggle to be thankful. A lot of people are upset, tired, and always complaining.
I get it. There are so many reasons to feel frustrated or even sad, especially if you live where I am. But there is something important that never changes:
God will always be God. Nothing will ever change that. You can be angry, ignore Him, or even say you don’t believe in Him, but He is still God and will always be God forever.
So the wisest thing you can do is to stay close to the One who made the world, the One who created you, and who knows everything from start to finish.
But knowing about God isn’t enough. Almost everyone believes there is a God somewhere. What matters is truly trusting that He knows what He’s doing with your life.
No one understands you better than God—not even you. Some people might say this sounds like preaching. Maybe it does. But the truth is, if you want your life to have real meaning, you must have a personal connection with God.
The devil doesn’t have real joy to offer. Money or things can make you happy only for a short time. Even marriage or dating can become disappointing if God isn’t part of it.
So why am I saying this? Because I want to encourage you as a single person: always be thankful. If you’re still unmarried at 35 or 40, it doesn’t mean God has forgotten you. He’s not some delivery service that gives you everything you want right when you ask. You were created for His purpose.
You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.Revelation 4:11 (NLT)
You keep asking God for things, but have you stopped to ask what He wants from you? You dream about loving your future husband or wife. Well, you should first learn how to build that kind of loving relationship with God. My pastor used to say the most romantic people are those who spend time in the book of Romans. It sounds funny, but it’s true.
For in him we live and move and exist.Acts 17:28 (NLT)
Don’t let ingratitude steal tomorrow’s joy. Focus on what really matters. Stay close to the Holy Spirit.Remember, God doesn’t owe you anything, so let’s not act like He does.
Practical Ways to Express Love As a Single or Married
Whether you’re in a relationship, married, or currently single, love is something we all need and something we’re all called to give.
Everybody enjoys being loved, yet sometimes expressing love can feel out of reach. Maybe you’re unsure how to go about it or think it requires a lot of money. The good news? Love is best expressed through sincere and practical actions, not necessarily big or expensive gestures.
At the heart of love is sacrifice. Even God demonstrated His love for us by giving—He gave us His most precious gift:
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 (KJV)
So, how can we express love to a spouse, partner, friend, or even family member in ways that are simple, affordable, and deeply meaningful?
1. Pray for the people you love.
One of the most powerful ways to love someone is to pray for them. It costs nothing, but it makes a huge impact. Praying for someone is a way of placing them before God and inviting divine help into their lives.
If you’re married or in a relationship, ask your partner what you can pray about for them. If you’re single, pray for your future spouse or loved ones. There’s a deep joy in knowing someone is lifting you up in prayer.
2. Pray with someone you love.
This can be your spouse, a close friend, a sibling, or a prayer partner. Praying together creates connection, builds unity, and strengthens your bond. It’s a powerful way to share your spiritual journey with someone else, and again, it’s completely free.
3. Give thoughtful gifts.
Love gives, but it doesn’t have to be extravagant. Whether it’s your spouse, a friend, a colleague, or even a family member, consider giving small, thoughtful gifts that show you’ve been thinking about them. A handwritten note, a favourite snack, or a small item they’ve been needing goes a long way.
If you’re single and hoping for a relationship, start practicing generosity now. Being a giver is part of building healthy relationships.
4. Be a good listener.
Love listens. It’s not always about having the right words; sometimes it’s just about being present and allowing someone else to share their heart. Whether in marriage, dating, friendship, or family life, listening shows care, respect, and love.
5. Offer help even when not asked.
See a need? Fill it. Whether it’s helping your spouse with chores, supporting a friend with a task, or just lightening someone’s load, offering unsolicited help is one of the most practical ways to show love. It says, “I see you, I care, and I want to make your life a little easier.”
No matter your relationship status, you were created to give and receive love. Don’t wait for the perfect moment or perfect person to begin practicing love. Start today, with the people already in your life, and watch how it transforms your relationships and environment.
Your ability to love well is part of God’s divine design for you.
