We usually love “love” when it’s easy—when there’s laughter and romance, and everything feels right. And we can be tempted to think that’s all love is about. But what if I tell you that love can be inconvenient? What if I tell you love also demands patience, sacrifice, or even choosing to stay when walking away seems easier?
As singles, it’s easy to chase relationships that feel good in the now, even when you know the person is wrong for you. It’s easy to run at the slightest pressure. It’s easy to define love by “butterflies in the tummy.” But real love isn’t always convenient. It requires waiting on God’s timing, it requires walking away from the wrong person even when it hurts, and it requires choosing to love with wisdom instead of emotions. It requires staying strong even in valley moments. If someone only “loves” you when it’s easy—when you agree, when you look your best, or when you are crushing milestones—that’s not real love. Run, my dear, run for your life.
As married couples, you have to CHOOSE to love even through difficult seasons—when viewpoints differ, when tempers rise, when stress comes, when flaws are exposed. You must choose to love, forgive, communicate, and to fold your sleeves and get to work as you labour together for a better tomorrow. This is what real love is—real love can be tough. Tough love it is. The popular John 3:16 says:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
God loved us, and He died for us! Tough love, I say—a love that gives, even when it’s costly.
Is your love just in the feel-good times? Or are you willing to love, even when it’s not convenient?
P.S.: Dear singles, this is not about you staying even when the red flags are glaring! Please don’t get it twisted. Shalom.
When people think about love, they often picture grand gestures—expensive gifts, romantic dates, or the recent ongoing proposal craze. Ehm, all these are good and to be injected into the relationship or marriage. But listen, at the end of the day, true love isn’t proven in those big, glamorous moments but in the ordinary, everyday ones.
For singles, it’s easy to get carried away by appearances and by those exciting moments in a relationship. But let me let you know that even the devil can be a tall, dark, and handsome man who knows how to spoil you with fun. So, don’t allow your emotions to make the decision for you—let your brain function well, too. Beyond the romantic dates and sweet words that juggle your emotions, ask yourself: Can this person love and respect me in the ordinary, everyday issues? Can they be patient when you’re stressed? Can they handle disagreements with maturity? Do they regard your opinions? Do they have empathy, not just towards you but also towards others?
Love that you will enjoy in marriage isn’t built on butterflies but on consistent character. It’s in the small, everyday matters. Romantic date nights won’t happen every day in marriage, right? But you will live and relate with each other every single day. Open your brains, my friend.
For married couples, well, you’re already in. So, take this and implement it in your marriage. Love isn’t just about anniversaries and pulling off surprises; it’s about the little, simple everyday choices and acts—choosing patience over anger, choosing to listen instead of dismissing, choosing kindness when tired, washing the dishes without being asked, sending a thoughtful message in the middle of the day, offering a hug after an argument, instead of banging the door and storming out of the house. These small moments may seem insignificant, but they are the building real VIPs—the real blocks of a strong marriage.
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18).
Love is a daily decision to love in action—in the daily, little things of life, not just in the grand gestures.
Please, how do I end this now? Ehm, okay: Shalom, everyone! 😁
So what are some of the things I think you should know before you march down that altar to say ‘I DO’?
1. Marriage is a Covenant
“Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the COVENANT MADE AT YOUR MARRIAGE] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT [made by your marriage vows].” Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Did you see that?
Marriage is not just something that is carnal or merely physical… marriage is deeply spiritual and a serious business, with serious implications.
So the first thing you must understand about marriage is that marriage is a covenant!
Having this understanding will give you some ‘sense’ so that you don’t just handle your marriage matter, ranging from the choice of a marriage partner to the marriage itself, with a light hand.
You understand that you’re entering into a covenant with anyone you marry, so you can’t afford to just marry any Tom, Jerry, or Jeff that comes your way! Or any Cinderella, Queenette, or Jessica that comes along your path! You choose wisely, by the Spirit.
Why?
Because you know you’re entering a covenant!
Having this understanding will even help prepare your heart way ahead of your marriage to remain faithful (in thought, word, and action) to your partner. So you start knowing that infidelity is not an option… like your heart gets locked on the matter way before you start your marriage.
Listen. You don’t prepare for battle in the midst of battle! What majorly keeps us in the face of battle are the preparations we made before that battle!
So pondering on these things right now, before you ‘I DO’, will help give you the right posture to have a successful marriage when YOU DO.
Can you talk to yourself now? Say:
“Ogbonnaya (of course you put your name there), marriage is a covenant! You have to be deliberate about it.”
Everyone is looking for where the grass is greener. And subtly, somewhere in our minds, we keep our eyes on other people’s lands. But remember the 10th commandment?
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Exodus 20:17 [KJV]
It’s easy to look at other relationships and think they have it better. Whether single or married, the temptation to keep looking at other people’s lives, believing that something “better” is out there, can creep in. But the truth actually is:
The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.
For singles, social media can make it seem like everyone else is in a perfect relationship, while you wait. And you may start thinking, “Am I a spoon?” But don’t let comparison push you into desperation. Rushing into the wrong relationship because you feel left out can lead to heartbreak. Instead of searching desperately for the “greener grass” of a change of relationship status, focus on making yourself greener—growing yourself emotionally, spiritually, and mentally—so that when the right person comes, you’re ready.
For married couples, it’s easy to become dissatisfied when you start noticing flaws in your spouse. The excitement of the early days fades, and you might be tempted to think, “Maybe I married the wrong person.” Or worse still, you look at another marriage and begin to fall in love with another person’s spouse. But remember, we don’t fall in love like that, rather we fall in alignment with the angel of our destiny. (Laughs)
Every great marriage you admire was built—not found. Instead of looking outside, invest in what you already have. Communicate, forgive, appreciate, and keep nurturing your love.
Dear couples, let me even add another thought for you to ponder: the grass always looks greener on the other side until you come close. That person you’re now lusting after, whether subtly or overtly, has flaws too—maybe even greater than those of your spouse. The difference is that you’re close to your spouse but far from the person—so you see all your spouse’s flaws and not one of the other person’s. It’s easy to admire a person from afar, but when you come close, you find that there are flaws.
Listen, don’t destroy your marriage thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. Fight that distraction destroying your marriage. Stop looking at another man or woman. Focus on your spouse. Stop comparing. Focus on your marriage. Make it work.
Finally, dear singles and married, the devil thrives on making us believe that joy is always somewhere else. But true fulfillment comes from gratitude, contentment, and commitment. So, be grateful and content with where you are and what you have. And learn to water the grass in front of you—that’s where the greener grass is.
Valentine’s Day is here again—the season of red roses, candlelit dinners, and grand romantic gestures. Everywhere you turn, social media is flooded with sweet messages, couples showing off their love, singles showing off their bae/boo, and businesses selling the idea that love must be proved with expensive gifts and intimate moments. But here’s my candid advice for you—something to chew on even before the day goes far.
What is true love? This is the question that should stay in your heart throughout today. Judge everything that comes your way with this question.
Many [young] people feel pressure on this day—pressure to be in a relationship, to impress, and, most sadly, to compromise their values. The world has painted a picture that love must be expressed through physical intimacy—and we are buying it, simply because we want to “belong” to the world—but God’s Word tells us otherwise.
The Bible tells us what True love truly is. True love is patient. True love honors. True love waits.
Any acclaimed love that buys you a gift and wants to unwrap you as you unwrap the gift is not true love. A straight warning here: Don’t carry yourself and go to places where it’s easy to compromise—his house, her house, lowly lit joints, etc. I saw a post recently by a pastor that made sense to me. He said that it is those who go close to a pit that have a greater tendency to fall in!
The Bible is clear: Flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). It doesn’t say “walk” or “resist”—it says flee! Why? Because sexual sin is not just another mistake; it affects your body, soul, and relationship with God.
Don’t go to strange places. Be overly careful, because the demon of lust will be operating strongly today, and compromising will be easier. So, take my advice, whether single or married: flee from every appearance of evil.
If you’re single, don’t let loneliness push you into something you’ll regret. If you’re in a relationship, don’t let the expectations of the world override God’s standards. If you’re married, what exactly are you looking for with that man/woman that is not your spouse? Why those chats? Why that expectation/desire in your heart this Valentine’s Day? Like, why? Kill it now! It will burn you!
Singles and couples, our strength to say no to nonsense comes from staying rooted in God’s Word and surrounding ourselves with godly friends. Find a church program and attend this evening, and after service, go home—go home with no one! Unless you’re married, then go home with your spouse.
Dear singles, remember that your worth is not in a relationship status but in Christ. Don’t be pressured today. This Valentine’s Day, choose to celebrate love the right way—pure, honorable, and pleasing to God. Instead of falling for worldly pressure, why not show love in a way that truly matters? Serve, encourage, and remind others of the greatest love of all: God’s unfailing love for us. Preach the love of Jesus to someone today!
