Life has a way of swallowing up our best intentions. Between deadlines, responsibilities, and unexpected curveballs, passion can quietly slip into the background. Not because love is gone, but because busyness has a way of pushing connection to the side.
Whether you’re married or preparing for marriage, here’s the truth: passion isn’t self-sustaining — it’s like a fire. If you don’t feed it, it fades.
Here are some steps to keeping passion alive:
1. Make time, don’t just wait for it.
Schedule date nights, walks, or even ten minutes of undistracted conversation if you’re married. If you’re single, start practising intentionality in your friendships and courtship. You won’t “find time” later if you don’t learn to make time now.
2. Keep the playfulness alive.
Married? Send a light, affectionate message or give a warm compliment. Single? Learn to keep joy and humour alive in your interactions — it keeps relationships fresh and enjoyable.
Playfulness says, “I still choose you” (or “I’m glad I’m getting to know you”).
3. Share more than tasks.
Married couples can get stuck in to-do list mode. Singles in courtship can get stuck in “just the facts” mode.
Either way, connection grows when you share your dreams, fears, and funny little stories. Emotional intimacy fuels every other kind of intimacy.
4. Touch more.
If you’re married, small touches — holding hands, a hug in the kitchen — keep the bond alive. If you’re single, you can’t “practise” this physically, but you can practise warmth and kindness in your body language and expressions.
5. Protect your special space.
For married couples, your bedroom should feel like a sanctuary, not a storage room. For singles, your personal space (home, desk, car) should reflect peace and care. The way you treat your space impacts how you treat relationships.
6. Pray together.
Married couples can pray as one before God. Singles can pray together as friends or in courtship, building spiritual intimacy the right way. Prayer aligns hearts and keeps relationships God-centred.
7. Keep learning each other.
Married? Your spouse will change over time — stay curious. Single? Keep asking questions and discovering new layers about the person you’re getting to know. Relationships thrive when you keep exploring.
Passion doesn’t vanish overnight — it fades slowly from neglect. Whether you’re building a relationship or nurturing a marriage, choose to feed it deliberately.
Love may be a gift from God, but keeping it vibrant is a daily choice.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
We love the idea of “potential.”
He’s not there yet… but he could be.
She’s still finding herself… but she’s got fire.
But here’s the real question: Does he or she have direction?
Hear this clearly:
Potential doesn’t build a marriage. Direction does.
Are you considering someone?
Don’t just ask if they are gifted.
Ask: Are they going anywhere with it?
Purpose isn’t a vibe—it’s a vision. It’s waking up with a sense of assignment. It’s building something bigger than yourself.
You don’t need someone perfect, but you do need someone pursuing. Someone who’s submitted. Someone who’s becoming.
Marriage is more than “We look good together.”
It’s “Can we carry destiny together?”
Can we push each other toward God’s call on our lives?
Can we raise children in purpose?
Can we give sacrificially, serve selflessly, and still laugh while doing it?
If you’re already married, it’s easy to throw purpose out of the window (by the time you begin to change diapers and think about school fees). But the pursuit of purpose shouldn’t stop after the wedding—that’s in fact when it becomes real.
So, become intentional. Ask yourselves:
– What are we building together—besides bills and babies of course?
– Are we aligned spiritually, or just surviving practically?
– Do we challenge each other to grow or just tolerate each other’s comfort zones?
Don’t let your marriage become a museum of old dreams.
Make it a greenhouse—where vision keeps growing, where callings are watered, and where you both flourish side by side.
God never creates purpose in isolation.
He pairs people to partner, not just to cuddle. Remember He made a HELP MEET suitable for Adam.
So whether you’re waiting or already walking the journey, remember this:
The right partnership doesn’t distract you from purpose—it propels you into it.
Red Alert:
If your current relationship is taking you away from purpose, that person is not for you. Cut it off!
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Every healthy relationship has conflict. Yes — even the godly ones. Even the mature ones. And even the “we finish each other’s sentences” ones.
The difference between couples who grow stronger and those who grow bitter isn’t the absence of fights. It’s simply how they fight.
Here’s how to fight fair — and still hold hands after:
1. Don’t aim to win; aim to understand.
If your goal is to “win” the argument, someone else has to lose. And when your partner loses, your relationship loses. (LOL)
Ask more questions. Don’t assume. Clarify things. Aim to understand.
2. Watch your tone, not just your words.
Saying “What did you say?” can mean five different things depending on how your eyebrows are positioned.
Tone creates safety — or shuts it down. Use it wisely.
How to Fight Fair and Still Hold Hands After
3. No name-calling. No character assassination.
You can challenge a behaviour without attacking their identity.
“Leaving your clothes everywhere frustrates me” is not the same as “You’re so lazy.”
4. Take breaks if needed; but don’t disappear.
If things get too heated, say, “Can we pause and talk when we’re both calmer?”
Storming out or going silent for days creates fear, not resolution.
5. Pray together, even if it’s awkward.
Nothing humbles a tense heart like holding hands and saying, “God, help us.”
While conflict invites pride, prayer invites peace.
6. Make up well.
Say “I’m sorry” without excuses. Hug. Talk through what you’ve both learned. Then move on. Don’t keep recycling the same argument.
Conflict doesn’t have to end in cold shoulders and quiet dinners.
It can end with better understanding, deeper connection… and yes, still holding hands.
And remember, love isn’t proven by how sweet your date nights are. It’s proven by how kind you are in the middle of a disagreement.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Forgiveness Is Not Amnesia
“Just forgive and forget” sounds great until you’ve been hurt by someone you love. However, it’s important to forgive.
But can we really “forget”? Or what does “forgive and forget” really mean?
Here’s the truth:
Forgiveness is not amnesia. It’s not pretending it didn’t happen. It’s choosing not to weaponise what happened. That’s what “forgive and forget” really means.
Many relationships—friendships, courtships, marriages—break down because one or both parties never learned how to forgive well.
Dear singles, you can’t afford to carry the bitterness of your ex into the world of your future spouse.
You can’t keep your heart locked up and expect intimacy to bloom. Yes, people have hurt you. Lied to you. Played with your heart. But if you don’t forgive well, their offence becomes your prison.
Married couples would have found out, by experience (lol), that forgiveness is not a one-time decision—it’s a daily discipline.
You can’t do life with someone closely and not bump into their weaknesses.
Some days, you’ll need to forgive the tone.
Other days, you’ll need to forgive the forgetfulness.
And sometimes, it’s something deeper.
So here’s what forgiving well looks like—whether in marriage, friendship, or anything in between:
1. You stop replaying the scene to justify your anger.
2. You choose healing over rehearsing.
3. You set boundaries, but not bitterness.
4. You learn to confront with humility, not hostility.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean they were right. It means you’re ready to heal.
It doesn’t always restore the relationship to what it was, but it restores your heart to peace.
You don’t forgive because they deserve it.
You forgive because you deserve freedom.
Relationships only thrive where forgiveness flows freely. Not because we’re perfect, but because we’re learning to love like Jesus.
It’s not titles, talent, or even how committed a church worker one is.
There are things that make relationships work, and one of them is emotional maturity.
You can’t build a healthy love life with someone who looks and sounds spiritually deep but emotionally shallow.
Someone who prays in tongues but pouts when corrected.
Or fasts for 21 days, but gives you the silent treatment for 21 days when upset.
Our journey with God ought to influence our walk on the earth!
Emotional maturity is being able to feel deeply without falling apart.
It’s the ability to hear hard truths without turning them into a war.
It’s saying, “I was wrong. I’m sorry,” without needing a three-day warm-up.
Singles, emotional maturity should be high on your list.
Don’t just ask if they are financially stable— ask if they know how to handle anger. If not, you will “chop” money and also “chop” slaps. You will eat spaghetti bolognese and also eat the silent treatment bolognese.
Find out.
Do they apologise or always shift the blame?
Do they shut down when corrected, or do they grow from it?
You’re not marrying their talent or their looks — you’re marrying their emotional patterns.
Married couples, it’s time to grow up emotionally.
Love isn’t just “feeling butterflies” — it’s being emotionally responsible.
Here are some ways to be emotionally mature:
1. Pause before reacting. Just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you should unleash it.
2. Stop keeping score. If you forgive it, don’t resurrect it with every argument.
3. Don’t use emotion to manipulate. Tears are not tools. Silence is not a weapon.
4. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Don’t say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not — that’s not maturity, that’s avoidance.
Emotional maturity doesn’t mean you never feel pain. It means you know how to handle it without destroying people in the process.
Let’s grow. Let’s mature. Let’s build love that doesn’t just feel good, but actually works.
