And it is definitely not “if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
Love is work.
It’s showing up on days you’d rather check out.
It’s choosing to pray together when talking feels hard.
It’s saying “yes” to service when your body says “rest.”
Singles—don’t just pray for love, prepare for labour… prepare to work it out. Marriage is a responsibility, so you have to be responsible in order to do marriage well. Can you wake up daily and keep choosing one person? Can you plant seeds of kindness even when you’re not in the mood? Can you lose sight of yourself in order to care for another?
Couples—remember, butterflies don’t keep flying forever. You must build the love you have. Think of it as a garden. That therefore means planting, watering, and weeding. Keep planting new memories again and again. Keep pouring into your spouse’s emotional tank. Then water with patience and weed out bitterness and comparison.
Love does not thrive because feelings are always there, but because work never stops.
Let us not grow weary in DOING good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.Galatians 6:9
Don’t give up. Keep working. That’s how love lasts.
For singles, the “talking stage” can be exciting. You’re getting to know someone, conversations feel endless, and hope is high. But many hearts have been broken here—not because of love lost, but because of love assumed.
Guard your heart. Don’t start calling someone “my man” or “my woman” just because you’ve been talking for a few weeks. Clarity protects emotions. Don’t assume, seek clarity. Ask, “What are we doing?” Someone who is serious will not be afraid to define their intentions.
Couples, guarding your heart matters too. You’re married, yes—but guard it from distractions, from emotional bonds with others, from careless comparisons. Affairs don’t usually start in the bedroom; they start with unchecked conversations… they start in the mind.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.Proverbs 4:23
Guarding your heart in the talking stage is not about suspicion; it’s about wisdom.
Whether single or married, don’t let emotions outrun clarity. Protect your heart so it remains whole for the one God has truly given you.
Tobi and Amaka had just argued. Tobi knew he was wrong, but pride kept his lips sealed. Amaka waited for the words “I’m sorry,” but instead she got silence. Days passed, tension grew, and what started as a small spark became a wall between them.
Does that sound familiar? For some, saying “sorry” feels harder than climbing a mountain. But here’s the truth: apologies heal wounds faster than silence ever will.
Dear Singles, don’t ignore this in dating. If the person you’re with never admits fault, pay attention. A heart that cannot bend in humility will eventually break under pride. The ability to say “I was wrong” is a sign of maturity, not weakness.
And you, too, are you humble enough to apologise?
Couples, hear this: stop waiting for the other person to blink first. If you were wrong, say so quickly. Even if you were not wrong but your words hurt, apologise for the pain caused. Forgiveness flows where humility leads.
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.Proverbs 28:13
Don’t let pride kill love. It’s not about who wins—it’s about keeping the bond alive. “I’m sorry” might just save your relationship more than you realise.
Sometimes the strongest message in a relationship is not what you say but what you choose not to say. Silence can be golden, but it can also be dangerous—depending on how you use it.
For singles, silence might mean learning to walk away from someone who only entertains your emotions but has no intention of committing. You know those kinds of people, right? Silence can also mean choosing not to argue endlessly with someone who clearly doesn’t share your values. It’s guarding your peace instead of wasting words on someone who doesn’t listen.
For married couples, silence can be a tool or a weapon. It is a tool when you hold your tongue in a heated moment to avoid saying things you’ll regret. It becomes a weapon when you shut down communication and use silence as punishment. The first builds trust, the second destroys it.
Just by way of summary: silence should never mean avoidance. If you’re single, don’t keep silent about your boundaries and expectations. If you’re married, don’t bury issues under silence—because silence doesn’t heal wounds; conversations do.
Now let’s talk about how to use silence wisely.
Pause before speaking in anger.
Walk away when someone is baiting you into unnecessary drama.
Take time to think before responding. Then, when emotions have settled, return with words that heal rather than hurt.
In love, silence is not about shutting down—it’s about holding on for better words to come. It’s choosing peace without abandoning truth. It’s waiting for the right moment to speak, so that what you say edifies, not fries. (Smiles)
If you master when to be silent and when to speak, your relationship—whether single or married—will carry less drama and more meaning.
Not every day will feel like a movie. In fact, most love stories are built in the ordinary.
It’s in the way your spouse brings you water without asking. The way you laugh at the same silly joke. The way you pray together before rushing off to work. Ordinary love doesn’t make the headlines, but it makes the marriage last.
Singles, don’t only chase the grand gestures—roses, candlelit dinners, surprise trips. Those are wonderful, but temporary. Pay attention to how the person treats you in ordinary situations. Do they show kindness when no one is watching? Do they honour you in their tone, not just their gifts? That’s who they really are.
Couples, stop waiting for anniversaries and birthdays to feel romantic. Treasure the ordinary days. Hug before sleep. Eat together when you can. Send a text that simply says, “I’m thinking of you.” Share stories about your day, even if they seem small. These tiny acts are the glue of forever.
Song of Solomon 2:15 “Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards.”
Sometimes it’s not big betrayals but small neglects that ruin love.
But the reverse is also true—small, ordinary acts can sustain love for a lifetime.
Ordinary love may not trend on Instagram, but it will carry you through decades. Don’t despise it. Celebrate it. Because it is often in the little things that the deepest love is found.
