So what are some of the things I think you should know before you march down that altar to say ‘I DO’?
1. Marriage is a Covenant
“Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the COVENANT MADE AT YOUR MARRIAGE] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT [made by your marriage vows].” Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Did you see that?
Marriage is not just something that is carnal or merely physical… marriage is deeply spiritual and a serious business, with serious implications.
So the first thing you must understand about marriage is that marriage is a covenant!
Having this understanding will give you some ‘sense’ so that you don’t just handle your marriage matter, ranging from the choice of a marriage partner to the marriage itself, with a light hand.
You understand that you’re entering into a covenant with anyone you marry, so you can’t afford to just marry any Tom, Jerry, or Jeff that comes your way! Or any Cinderella, Queenette, or Jessica that comes along your path! You choose wisely, by the Spirit.
Why?
Because you know you’re entering a covenant!
Having this understanding will even help prepare your heart way ahead of your marriage to remain faithful (in thought, word, and action) to your partner. So you start knowing that infidelity is not an option… like your heart gets locked on the matter way before you start your marriage.
Listen. You don’t prepare for battle in the midst of battle! What majorly keeps us in the face of battle are the preparations we made before that battle!
So pondering on these things right now, before you ‘I DO’, will help give you the right posture to have a successful marriage when YOU DO.
Can you talk to yourself now? Say:
“Ogbonnaya (of course you put your name there), marriage is a covenant! You have to be deliberate about it.”
Everyone is looking for where the grass is greener. And subtly, somewhere in our minds, we keep our eyes on other people’s lands. But remember the 10th commandment?
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Exodus 20:17 [KJV]
It’s easy to look at other relationships and think they have it better. Whether single or married, the temptation to keep looking at other people’s lives, believing that something “better” is out there, can creep in. But the truth actually is:
The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.
For singles, social media can make it seem like everyone else is in a perfect relationship, while you wait. And you may start thinking, “Am I a spoon?” But don’t let comparison push you into desperation. Rushing into the wrong relationship because you feel left out can lead to heartbreak. Instead of searching desperately for the “greener grass” of a change of relationship status, focus on making yourself greener—growing yourself emotionally, spiritually, and mentally—so that when the right person comes, you’re ready.
For married couples, it’s easy to become dissatisfied when you start noticing flaws in your spouse. The excitement of the early days fades, and you might be tempted to think, “Maybe I married the wrong person.” Or worse still, you look at another marriage and begin to fall in love with another person’s spouse. But remember, we don’t fall in love like that, rather we fall in alignment with the angel of our destiny. (Laughs)
Every great marriage you admire was built—not found. Instead of looking outside, invest in what you already have. Communicate, forgive, appreciate, and keep nurturing your love.
Dear couples, let me even add another thought for you to ponder: the grass always looks greener on the other side until you come close. That person you’re now lusting after, whether subtly or overtly, has flaws too—maybe even greater than those of your spouse. The difference is that you’re close to your spouse but far from the person—so you see all your spouse’s flaws and not one of the other person’s. It’s easy to admire a person from afar, but when you come close, you find that there are flaws.
Listen, don’t destroy your marriage thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. Fight that distraction destroying your marriage. Stop looking at another man or woman. Focus on your spouse. Stop comparing. Focus on your marriage. Make it work.
Finally, dear singles and married, the devil thrives on making us believe that joy is always somewhere else. But true fulfillment comes from gratitude, contentment, and commitment. So, be grateful and content with where you are and what you have. And learn to water the grass in front of you—that’s where the greener grass is.
Valentine’s Day is here again—the season of red roses, candlelit dinners, and grand romantic gestures. Everywhere you turn, social media is flooded with sweet messages, couples showing off their love, singles showing off their bae/boo, and businesses selling the idea that love must be proved with expensive gifts and intimate moments. But here’s my candid advice for you—something to chew on even before the day goes far.
What is true love? This is the question that should stay in your heart throughout today. Judge everything that comes your way with this question.
Many [young] people feel pressure on this day—pressure to be in a relationship, to impress, and, most sadly, to compromise their values. The world has painted a picture that love must be expressed through physical intimacy—and we are buying it, simply because we want to “belong” to the world—but God’s Word tells us otherwise.
The Bible tells us what True love truly is. True love is patient. True love honors. True love waits.
Any acclaimed love that buys you a gift and wants to unwrap you as you unwrap the gift is not true love. A straight warning here: Don’t carry yourself and go to places where it’s easy to compromise—his house, her house, lowly lit joints, etc. I saw a post recently by a pastor that made sense to me. He said that it is those who go close to a pit that have a greater tendency to fall in!
The Bible is clear: Flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). It doesn’t say “walk” or “resist”—it says flee! Why? Because sexual sin is not just another mistake; it affects your body, soul, and relationship with God.
Don’t go to strange places. Be overly careful, because the demon of lust will be operating strongly today, and compromising will be easier. So, take my advice, whether single or married: flee from every appearance of evil.
If you’re single, don’t let loneliness push you into something you’ll regret. If you’re in a relationship, don’t let the expectations of the world override God’s standards. If you’re married, what exactly are you looking for with that man/woman that is not your spouse? Why those chats? Why that expectation/desire in your heart this Valentine’s Day? Like, why? Kill it now! It will burn you!
Singles and couples, our strength to say no to nonsense comes from staying rooted in God’s Word and surrounding ourselves with godly friends. Find a church program and attend this evening, and after service, go home—go home with no one! Unless you’re married, then go home with your spouse.
Dear singles, remember that your worth is not in a relationship status but in Christ. Don’t be pressured today. This Valentine’s Day, choose to celebrate love the right way—pure, honorable, and pleasing to God. Instead of falling for worldly pressure, why not show love in a way that truly matters? Serve, encourage, and remind others of the greatest love of all: God’s unfailing love for us. Preach the love of Jesus to someone today!
The situation in Israel was terrible, so terrible that MOTHERS entered into an agreement to have their children for lunch. There’s an emphasis on “Mothers” because mothers have a special bond with their children.
And the king said to her, “What is troubling you?” And she answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give your son so that we can eat him today, and we will eat my son tomorrow.’ So we boiled my son and ate him. And the next day I said to her, ‘Give your son so that we can eat him.’ And she has hidden her son”. 2 Kings 6:28-29
If mothers could slaughter their sons for lunch, then the situation was really terrible. And it also reveals to us that a man, if he doesn’t receive grace, can do ANYTHING in his vulnerable seasons.
This is actually a very disturbing story to read, but sometimes life can throw dirty and hard curveballs at you that will make you begin to justify barbaric acts. You can “kill” anyone just to survive, and you can even justify it as “God’s provision.”
“If I’m alive, I can give birth to another son. If I don’t boil my son, I and my son will still die of hunger. It’s better I sacrifice my son so I can live and give birth to another tomorrow. Thank You, LORD, for this wisdom.” One mother would have said, out of severe hunger, justifying the sin she was about to commit and slapping the name of God on it.
What are you currently trying to justify? This is God’s call for you to stop!
One of the moments you have to be extremely careful and double-check every action is in times of dire need… in your low moments. In such times, it will do you good to stay real close to God—to really enquire of God before taking any action—so that you don’t do anything you will regret and pay for later. Many have “boiled their sons” to satisfy their needs. I hope you don’t do so.
After they boiled the first woman’s son and ate, the hunger cleared, and the second woman began thinking well.
“How on earth did we agree to do this?”
So she went and hid her son.
You see that hunger was really the driving force of the barbaric act. Hunger can mess up your life. Hunger can make you do terrible things you couldn’t have imagined yourself doing. So, I counsel again:
In your times of dire need, stay close to God. Allow God to purify you constantly. Don’t take actions hastily—sit on decisions and allow God to direct you.
Finally, come to the throne of grace and receive grace.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16 [NKJV]
There’s Grace available for you. You can receive grace for the season you’re currently in. You can receive grace.
Time doesn’t really make things better; what happens IN time is what has the power to change the course of actions.
So, if the enemy has stolen from your life, marriage, family, and career last year, he will come to take another this year. Don’t think that the passage of time from 2024 to 2025 will stop him from taking another. He will come for another!
“Then he killed James the brother of John with the sword. And because he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded further to seize Peter also. Now it was during the Days of Unleavened Bread.”Acts 12:2-3 [NKJV]
Herod had killed James, and you would think that was enough and that time would make him stop. It didn’t. When he was done with James, he went for Peter! And had he been able to deal with Peter, he would have gone for another. And then another. And another… until there was none left.
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy…” John 10:10 [NKJV]
But the church stopped that from happening—they stopped the enemy from taking another. How?
“Peter therefore was kept in prison: but prayer was made without ceasing of the church unto God for him. Acts 12:5 [KJV]
Prayer was made without ceasing. What changed the narrative was what the church did in time—they made constant prayers.
In this season, things will spiral into more mess if you don’t step in and stop the flow. The enemy will take another if you don’t step in and stop the flow. More things will go wrong in your marriage if you don’t step in and stop the flow. Your life will get worse if you don’t arise and stop the flow.
It’s that year that we arise and declare, “No more!”
