You should not only call the disciples (other friends) into your marriage, but you need to call Jesus as well. Both Jesus and his disciples were called. When they needed a miracle, it wasn’t the disciples that turned water into wine, they were busy drinking wine, but it was Jesus. There are times when the wine of the marriage dries up, and it is Jesus you need at such times.
In marriage, you need the person of Jesus and the principles of Jesus to make it. But you know, a marriage full of sexual compromise and lack of self-control is not giving space for Jesus at all. When you start having adultery, you are doing things worthy of self-rustication from the school. You are kicking at your teacher and you are trying to say you want things done your own way.
A marriage where the husband, wife or both of them are cheating are disenfranchising themselves from the very help and wisdom they need in their marriage! The scripture advises that you drink water from your own cistern!
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? – Proverbs 5:15 – 20
When you drink water from your own cistern (talking about making love with your wife), it is like water turned into wine. How sweet it is!
But, when you drink water from strange women and cisterns, you are taking poison! It tastes sweet in your mouth but it will hurt you!
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. – Proverbs 20:17
The teacher is compassionate! He stands at the door of the class, in your heart, and simply wants you to extend an invitation to him to enter the class! In your marriage, the wine will always be insufficient.
Your own wisdom will fail you. But he is there to help you out, if you invite him!
Will you invite him today? It is the best thing to do. He will save you from shame and keep the wine of your marriage, life and destiny flowing beautifully. He will teach you how to make your marriage a bliss and not full of blisters, how to make it a haven and not an oven!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
Believe me, all these contribute to the total well-being of a good marriage. But they can’t do all these when there are people living with them observing every move they make with critical eyes and breathing down their necks. They need that free space before the children start coming.
In those foundational years, the couple needs to become friends. What do friends do? They talk. They communicate. Study yourselves, Discuss temperamental differences. Watch Television together. Play games on your laptops together in your free time.
Dear wife, study your husband’s likes. Make up your mind to fall in love with what he loves. If he is a football lover, start watching football. This is the only way he won’t leave you at home to go and watch football with his friends outside.
Study his passion. Be passionate with his passion! Don’t feel left out when he buries his head in his laptop, iPad, etc. Join him and pad the iPad together! That’s the secret!
Dear husband, your immediate family which is made up of you and your wife is more important than any other in this world. You have the responsibility to protect it.
Don’t turn your newly wedded wife into a cook, because she has to cook for cousins, brothers, etc! The wife is not a professional cook or dry-cleaner who cooks from morning till night catering for the husband’s three brothers and mother from the village!
That is not healthy for any marriage! Sometimes, this is in addition to her career! And then, you wonder why she is always tired when you get to bed.
Give her quality time. Study her love language. Give her listening time. When she is talking, maintain eye to eye contact, and be involved even when she is discussing illogical things. Just listen and you won’t lose her to moods and depression.
Tomorrow, we will continue the series on Relationship and Marriage Killers.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom to fulfill my role in my marriage. My marriage is kept by God’s power. My marriage will not turn into hardship. I am helped of God. I am directed by the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my relationships and marriage and fill me with the Spirit id wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the suggestions above
There are several factors that could literally put an end to a marriage.
The first in the series of marriage killers we will be looking at is Home Invaders. I always counsel newly married couples – Don’t allow anybody to come and live with you when you are newly married, be it cousins, brothers, sisters, mother or father.
If you want to help your folk, and you should help them, you can make provision for them without necessarily their coming to stay with you. How I wish newly married couples can lend their ears to this wisdom.
This is because the newly wedded couple needs as much privacy as possible to be alone and to discover themselves. They don’t need any distractions in those foundational years, especially the first five years.
They need to focus on God and themselves. If a young couple can focus on God and themselves in the first few years, they would have established a solid foundation that will withstand any marital storm or wind that may come.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. – Proverbs 5:18 (KJV)
They don’t need anything that might trigger inhibitions in their sexual life. They don’t need anybody to complain about the wife’s inability to cook well or the husband’s uncaring attitude.
Two is a good company, three is a crowd. They don’t need somebody to critique the stew and how the meat didn’t collide well with the catfish.
The young wife needs to focus her love and respect on her husband and she does not need all the additional emotional upheavals and pressures that are often engendered when she has a lot of people to attend to.
They should be left alone to discover themselves. They should be free to walk around their house naked, play together, jump on themselves and have a lot of fun together.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom to fulfill my role in my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage and fill me with the Spirit of wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the suggestions above
In preparing for a successful marriage, money is not the most important thing.
Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold. – Pro 8:10 KJV
When you have instruction, money will eventually come.
Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life. – Pro 4:13 KJV
Another translation says:
Hold tight to good advice; don’t relax your grip. Guard it well–your life is at stake! – Pro 4:13 MSG
Dear couples to be, hold on tight to wisdom, because your marriage is at stake.
Dear wife to be, beauty is not the only thing you need. Beauty without gumption is ugliness! Sound practical knowledge is essential.
As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. – Pro 11:22 KJV
Message translation says
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head. – Pro 11:22 MSG
Now that you are still single, keep on developing yourself. The Bible says ‘he that findeth a wife…’ Not he that findeth a sister or babe! He that finds a wife!
How do you become a wife without being asked out? By developing yourself and knowing what it takes to be a wife. A wife material is what every man is looking for.
Dear husband to be, you will eventually become the head of the house and give direction to your wife and ultimately your children. Are you ready? Are you currently learning? Are you ready to give the necessary and right leadership not only to your future wife but to your future children as well?
There is no special anointing that comes on you on your wedding day…but you have a whole life on your hands from that day! Keep at self-development.
I pray for you this morning, that the heavens be opened over you and that every door that seem closed, may it open this day of its own accord in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I keep at self development. I search for knowledge daily
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a heart that pants after your word daily.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 13:18 KJV Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to build a Marriage library. Get books and materials on marriage and learn as much as you can.
Husbands, are you hurting your wife? Do you care for her emotional well-being? Or are you just focusing on what gives you fulfillment which is your job?
Do you leave your wife lonely, vulnerable and unhappy? Are you really concerned about her as a person or you just want her to be well behaved so you can have some peace and concentrate more on your job?
Do you really love her, cherish, appreciate adore and affirm your wife or you are too busy for that? Do you understand her inner struggles, unfulfilled aspirations, dreams and depression triggers?
Are you secretly cheating on her thinking that nobody will discover? Do you know that the scripture says one day will come when your sin will find you out? Even if you run to UK or USA, the ‘sin’ will collect visa too and will appear like James Bond!
Remember God has a marking scheme, and the marking scheme says, ‘Husbands, love your wife.’
Wives, are you submitted to your husband’s desires? Do you respect him even when his decisions seem hard to follow? Do you go your own way while you leave him to go his own ways? Do you spend ‘your own’ money the way you want without having the attitude that it is ‘our money?’
Are you really a loving couple or strange bed fellows? Do you seek to appreciate him? Do you make yourself available as a suitable help, adaptable to him or you are busy and consumed with just your own self?
Are you selfishly drawing or demanding attention for self without being selfless? Do you realize deep down in your mind that you can deceive somebody for a long time, but you cannot fool God for a second? That is why the scripture says God is not mocked!
Remember that if you fail in your marital assignment, you have failed in a major area of your life and destiny. But when we do fail, His mercy covers for us and he helps us in our weaknesses. He turns our failures into glory.
Thank God for grace, because God is a God of second chance. While grace is not a license for habitual sins, grace will embrace you if you make a mistake. He teaches and trains us while on the assignment. He gives us several tutorials and allows the Holy Spirit to show us some of the questions in the examination. He allows the Holy Spirit to enter the examination hall with us and help us out! What a God!
If you find yourself floundering in any areas, you have a father who will always embrace you and help you. Turn to Him and talk to Him. He has listening ears and He will not condemn you. He will rather embrace you in His everlasting and loving arms and turn your life and home around.
I pray that God will give you more wisdom in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will make a success of my marital assignment. I will love my wife. I will be submissive to my husband.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let every crisis area in my marital assignment receive healing in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 (AMP) However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask your wife how you can love her better. Ask your husband in what ways you can be the wife of his dreams.
