It is important you look for a lady who is your friend. Friends don’t want to hurt one another. Friends love each other truly. Friends forgive each other easily. Friends want to be with one another. Friends don’t have problems with communication. They talk all the time.
It is important that your love grows from friendship. That is why it is not good to rush into a relationship with a person you barely know. There is a huge difference between marrying an acquaintance and marrying a friend.
It is even worse when you decide to marry a stranger that you met on social media. You will not live on Facebook. You will not give birth on Google Plus. You will not cook on LinkedIn.
So, why establish and maintain a relationship over social media?
Why fall in love with a profile? Why become emotionally attached with a voice over the phone? You have to go for a friend and friendship involves constant communication and a committed relationship.
Before you fall in love, before you are caught in a rapturous ecstasy, try and see her one on one! It is impossible to fall in love with a person you don’t know, so become friends first and don’t be caught up in infatuation.
2. Look for a homely woman
The next thing to look for in a woman is homeliness. Look for a lady that can cook! Yes, she is not a house-help, but she has to know how to cook! Good food is very important to men.
As a single lady, train yourself to know how to cook well. If she cannot cook, there will be issues.
If as a lady, you had grown up among several house-helps and you barely go to the kitchen, you have to deliberately teach yourself how to prepare good food in preparation for marriage.
If you visit your fiancée and all you are served are always noodles, flakes, beverages, and refreshments, you should start suspecting! That’s a joke!
Be creative with cooking. Get on the Internet and download recipe ideas.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am deliberate in my approach to find love
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, turn things around in my favour
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor––since they’re already “one” in marriage Eph 5:28 MSG
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start preparing for your marriage now.
Happy New Month to all partners and members of KHC. This month, your dreams shall become a reality.
From the first to the third of March, we will be waiting on God in fasting and prayers. If you are in Ibadan, Nigeria, join us by 6 pm at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, beside Trans Amusement park, Bodija-Ui road, Ibadan.
Continued from yesterday…
My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. – Song of Solomon 2:10 (KJV)
Or maybe you are in love with the one who is not in love with you… and that can be an affliction of the soul and the body. But much more than this, there is a voice that gives power to your lover’s voice.
There is the romantic voice and there is the spiritual voice. The romantic will always be dependent on the spiritual. Both of them are good, but one is terrestrial and the other is celestial. And the glory of the celestial will always surpass that of the terrestrial.
This is the voice of Yahweh. If your lover has heard Him in the morning, then his or her voice will not be muted towards you that day.
The voice of God is powerful, breaking cedars and shaking the wilderness of Kadesh. God’s voice will shatter the eerie silence that wants to dominate your relationship and marriage.
Have you heard Him this morning? That is only when you can speak like a true lover to your loved ones with your speech bringing grace!
No wonder we have it here:
Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. – Colossians 4:6 (KJV)
This only becomes a reality when humanity has a synergy with divinity, when you have been with the Lord, your mouth will not lack adequate words to everybody around you and particularly to your loved one!
What has your communication been like? Does His voice or her voice still tickle you? Do you listen to the voice of your maker at the dawn of the day?
This is what keeps your love life going, not just in the right direction, but with the right person. This is what keeps marriages and homes together. Without that voice, it will be a wasted effort.
I rest my case this morning as I conclude with this scripture:
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. – Psalms 127:1 (KJV)
You will not waste your years.
You will not labour in vain.
You will not fall in love hopelessly.
You will not waste your years in loving the one that will never love you.
You will not build shacks!
If GOD doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks… – Psalms 127:1 (MSG)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love helplessly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to recognize the voice of your lover
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! – Song of Solomon 2:10 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you truly in love? Think about it.
My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. – Song of Solomon 2:10 (KJV)
The Message Translation says:
My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! – Song of Solomon 2:10 (MSG)
The voice of your lover! There is always something about that voice!
If your lover is not speaking, something is wrong.
My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! So says the Message Translation.
You see, the proof of His arrival is His voice whose rich vocals fill the house.
If you want to really know the lover that has “arrived” with you, his or her voice will be busy. If your lover has arrived in his or her heart, if you are truly on the same page, his voice would not be muted.
The moment you have not heard the voice of the one you called your lover for weeks, he has not arrived! You are not on the same page!
If he or she is always busy, and the vocal cords are tied, and the voice is scarce, then something is wrong somewhere.
When married couples have been silent, rendered incommunicado by trivial quarrels and immaturity, that marriage is not in a good state. After silence comes assumptions and innuendos, and assumptions are the lowest form of knowledge.
Are you really in love? We will know by reason of when you spoke last. We will know if you are talking regularly. We will know if you are just doing surface talks and throwing banters with nothing deep or serious.
We will know if the love is one-sided and lop-sided with only one party doing the calling, the wooing, and the pursuing! We will know if he or she sees your voice as a rant, irritated at your calls, making you look like a nuisance.
That, my dear, is no love!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love helplessly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to recognize the voice of your lover
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! – Song of Solomon 2:10 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you truly in love? Think about it.
Alright, so when you come and say, I don’t have feelings for him or her again, the question is “was it feelings that led you before?”
Again, to test the genuineness of the loss of your feelings, do you already have feelings for somebody else? A coded way of double dating? And then the sense of guilt pushes you to disconnect with the former, thereby telling him or her, I don’t have feelings again.
Jumping from a feeling-led-relationship into another feeling-led relationship is like jumping from frying pan into fire!
A quick way of dropping the former is to say “I don’t have feelings again.” But you must check the intents of your heart and be sure it is conviction leading you.
Again, when you are dropping someone because you are in love with another one, it is not always healthy because you have initiated a love adventure with a new person without ending the former.
So you try to proceed into the new while you are still intertwined with the old. The new will be frustrated.
And no man putteth new wine into old bottles; else the new wine will burst the bottles, and be spilled, and the bottles shall perish. – Luke 5:37 (KJV)
Not having a sufficient time to heal and pray can often be a decision made out of feelings!
5. Feelings will not equate to God’s voice
Finally, do not allow feelings to replace leading.
You must be led.
Feelings can confuse the soul.
What a married man or woman has for a colleague are feelings and those feelings can get him or her into serious trouble if he decided to feed the feelings.
Learn to not give attention to your feelings especially when you are on the terrain of iniquity. Feelings and lusts are pals. They are close pals, so you need to be careful here.
It was a rush of feeling and lust that David had for Bathsheba. And it led to adultery and murder.
Decide to hear God’s voice and not just rely on feelings.
Take time to ask God for His leading, if you are going through a period of knowing who to marry. Also, if you are already in a relationship or you are married, take time to ask God to help you in your emotions so that you don’t get into trouble. Emotional affair is as real as a physical one.
I pray that God will help you in your emotions and love life and help you discern what is right from what is wrong.
God will help you! The heavens are opened over you! So shall it be in Jesus name!
Don’t forget to SHARE the devotional.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to stay faithful in a perverse world
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
This happens a lot and I get to hear this from time to time.
Pastor, I don’t have feelings for him again.
Pastor, I don’t have feelings for her again.
I will tell you five things quickly that will put things in perspective and help you judge your loss of “feelings” whether they are genuine or just some ruse.
1. Feelings are different from conviction
A feeling is the voice of your flesh. It is an emotional state. A conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.
So, when it comes to relationship and falling in love, as a child of God, you need to ask, is it just feelings I have for this person or do I have a “leading” from God?
They are two different things entirely.
2. Feelings are fickle
Feelings are not bad in themselves, it is just that you should not trust them.
They are fickle, and they don’t have a forever a status.
You can wake up with seven different feelings for a supposed loved one in seven different days.
They are also temporal and they often don’t last. Feelings come and go!
Feelings are not deep. They are surface surfers. Feelings cannot endure. Feelings are like fair weather friends.
3. You will not always have feelings for him or her
The next thing you need to realize is that you will not always have feelings for him or her.
So, in effect, feelings cannot be a standard for measuring your love!
Even in marriage, there are times you wake up to see your spouse and all the feelings have gone on holiday to Bahamas or some Island of no communication!
What do you do? Are you going to file for divorce?
You see, beyond your feelings, there must be a genuine commitment arising from a conviction towards the person you want to get married to!
So, you cannot afford to be led by what you “feel” alone.
Feelings are too weak to sustain you in the midst of love adventure. Feelings will abandon you at the slightest pressure.
It is only conviction that can travel the whole length with you, in cold or summer!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by the spirit of God. My feelings do not control me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the rightful person for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
