Making Decisions with Less Regret

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Regret in relationships usually does not come because God was silent. Most times, it comes because we went ahead without any plan. We rushed decisions in the heat of attraction, excitement, or even pressure from friends and culture.

Emotions can be very loud; they have a way of drowning out values if those values are not firmly in place. And the truth is, when you are “in the moment,” it is almost impossible to think clearly if you have not already decided where you stand.

That is why you need to set some things in place before you get swept up. Call them your non-negotiables, your personal rules, your anchors — whatever name you give them.

You need anchors already planted.

Examples? Let them be simple, clear, and gospel-centered. Something like:

• “I will not date someone who consistently disregards God, no matter how attractive they seem.” That rule saves you from long explanations and compromises later.

• “I will seek counsel before committing to a relationship that feels rushed.” That keeps you from being swept away by the charm of a moment.

• “I will never stay in a relationship that feeds secrecy, shame, or sin.” That one principle can save you from years of heartbreak.

Notice something? These decisions are not about fear, and they are not about ticking boxes. They are anchors — steady points that hold you in place when everything inside you wants to drift. They remind you that God’s wisdom is not about limiting joy, but about protecting it.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.” — James 1:5(NIV)

The good part of making these decisions and commitments is that it saves you from yourself. It is like having a trusted version of you — your clear-minded, prayerful, Spirit-led self — speak into the moments when your emotional self is too clouded to think. It is you saying ahead of time, “I know what I believe. I know where my boundaries are. I know what honors God.” And that brings freedom. You no longer have to panic in the face of pressure or compromise, because the decision has already been made.

Think back on your biggest regrets — chances are, most of them came when you did not stop to ask: What principle should guide me here? Imagine how different your story could have been if you had a pre-decided anchor to hold onto.

In conclusion:

You need at least one clear line you can fall back on when your emotions get loud. Write it down. Save it on your phone. You can even tell a friend to call you out, to check you…. Do that and you will save yourself from a lot of “if only” later.

Making Decisions with Less Regret