Facing the Fear of Commitment

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Facing the Fear of Commitment

Commitment can feel pretty overwhelming. A lot of folks today are nervous about getting tied down or making the wrong choice, especially when it comes to love. We all want something real, but deep down, there’s that fear, not because we don’t want to love, but because we’re scared of what love might ask from us.

“Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16

Take Ruth from the Bible, for example. She made a bold choice to stick with her mother-in-law, Naomi, even though she could’ve gone back to her own people. She didn’t have a husband, no clear plan for how she’d be taken care of, and no guarantee that her future would be brighter. But she chose to stay anyway.

Ruth’s story shows us that commitment isn’t always easy, but it can mean a lot and often comes from a place of faith.

Where does the fear of commitment come from, and why are people afraid of commitment?
Many people struggle with the idea of commitment for several reasons:

1. Past hurt – Some of us have been let down, betrayed, or had our hearts broken before.
2. Fear of making the wrong choice – No one wants to tie themselves to someone, only to later think it was a huge mistake.
3. Loss of independence – Some people worry they’ll lose themselves or their freedom in a relationship.
4. Unrealistic expectations – With social media and those romantic movies, real relationships can feel kinda boring in comparison.
5. Unhealed wounds – If we’re still carrying baggage from the past, it makes trusting again really hard.

These fears are totally valid, but they shouldn’t run your life or your relationships.

What are the lessons we can learn from Ruth’s life?

1. Commitment is a choice, not just a feeling.

Ruth didn’t feel forced to stay; she made a deliberate decision. Real commitment kicks in when you choose to stick around, even when your feelings are all over the place.

God can guide you toward purpose through commitment.

By staying by Naomi’s side, Ruth eventually met Boaz and became part of Jesus’ family line. She had no clue how her story would unfold, but God honored her loyalty. Commitment often paves the way for unexpected blessings.

Having the fear of commitment is okay, but don’t let it hold you back.

Courage isn’t about the absence of fear; it is moving forward in faith despite it. You don’t have to know every little thing to trust God in your relationships.

2. Healthy commitment comes after healing.

Ruth didn’t jump into another marriage right after. She found healing by walking in faith and making wise, loyal choices. Before jumping into a relationship, give God a chance to help you heal and grow both emotionally and spiritually.
Godly commitment aligns with purpose, not just feelings.
When God leads your commitment, it brings peace instead of pressure. You don’t have to chase after love—just be ready when it shows up, how God wants it to.

So it’s okay to be nervous. The fear of commitment is ok. Most people aren’t really scared of love itself; they’re just worried about what might go wrong if they give their all. But real growth happens when we confront those fears instead of running away.

Ruth’s story reminds us that healthy and meaningful commitment is out there—it often takes us to the beautiful places God has waiting for us. If you’re single, now’s the time to face your fears honestly, let God work on what needs fixing, and start building the strength and trust that lasting love demands.

No need to rush or pretend. Just be yourself and stay open to the idea that love, when it’s God’s will, it is absolutely worth going for.