Emotional availability is necessary for a good relationship or courtship to lead to marriage and also for a good marriage to work out.
However, there are a lot of ladies and young men who are emotionally unavailable and yet are praying desperately to get married. It is not going to work like that.
It is like somebody praying to graduate without going to school. That would never happen without the first.
You can be emotionally available without messing up. You can be emotionally available without being taken for granted and desecrated by sexual opportunists.
Emotional availability is necessary for a healthy relationship that will lead to marriage.
One of the greatest love mishaps is to fall in love with an emotionally unavailable person. It is an affliction of the soul and it is a waste of time.
How do you spot a person that is not available emotionally?
1. He is cooling off
His hands have just been burnt in a past relationship. His heart has just been broken in a former relationship where he or she has given all his heart but is heavily disappointed.
That person is simply emotionally unavailable.
His love or her love is ambidextrously intertwined with the old and the potential new.
It is like drinking a melange of old and new wine. The alcoholic consequence will culminate in a collateral damage.
The emotions are confused and he or she is still smarting from the love that went sour. The taste is still left in his mouth and taste buds are numb from experiencing the new.
In his or her subconscious, there is still a wish that the old should have worked out. He or she is still missing out on something or he thinks something is still missing.
It even gets worse if they had been sexually involved, and the illegal cementing of the souls complicate issues.
The way out is always never to jump into a new relationship as a way to numb his pain.
A person who just broke up and is still hurt still has his or her emotions in a confused state and such a person is simply not available to begin a new relationship.
I always advocate that a minimum of six months should be given before you move into another relationship.
This will enable a proper emotional severing and disconnection, a time of healing and cleansing of the soul and preparing the soul for the new.
God is always a good God.
When a relationship breaks up or doesn’t work out, God will always give a new direction but it is not something you should rush into!
So before you fall in love and allow unnecessary butterflies to start to flap their wings, are you emotionally available?
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a wreck to my lover
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be emotionally stable
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Heal from the past before moving to the next
It is good to follow the peace of God in your heart and not just your flesh.
It is good to stay in joy in the Holy Ghost; which is expressed always with your shout, dance, laughter, and singing.
This is how you get into the kingdom. This is how you get a spouse in the kingdom.
It is not just in spending unnecessary money all over the place. It is not just in making a decision because you saw the hips.
This thing goes beyond the pulchritude. It extends beyond the externals. It is not in partying all over the place, it is never in meat and drinks.
The believer that will get anywhere in God must be disciplined. Fast at least once a week. Leave the meat and the drinks alone.
How do you tell me you are a child God and you do all the alcohol, you smoke, party, and you do all that the unbeliever do? Something is not quite right there!
You may succeed in hiding the masturbation, pornography, and all the secret sins from your pastor, but those sins are so loud in heaven! And that is where your blessings come from, not from your pastor.
Do you want to please your pastor while you don’t care what God thinks? That is dangerous!
Fear God o!
Your thoughts are louder in heaven than your voice on earth! The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
The hips, the lips, and the trips are really important but never concentrate on that alone at the expense of God. When you leave God out, you are inviting crisis and storms.
You can live right with the help of the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to help you!
Then, take decisions. You cannot be asking the Holy Spirit to help you from sexual sin and then on Friday, you pack your load to go and spend the weekend in his place! That is mocking God and His word! And it is not a good place to be.
Your prayers must be backed up by tough decisions. Tough decisions about your destiny!
Some numbers must be deleted. Some associations must be severed.
You keep saying she is the one seducing you and yet you keep visiting her every night. No, you are the seducer o!
You have been in several relationships. All of them were sexual. All of them broke up. The pattern is clear enough! Stop ignoring the obvious and take charge of your destiny.
It is not only sex that can lead to breakups. There are relationships that were non-sexual and yet broke up!
It could be you rushed into it, it could be your attitudes, it could be anger problem, and it could just be that is not God’s best for you.
There are good men that could be wrong men for you. There could be a good lady, and yet she is the wrong one for you.
The baseline is to get close to God. The Holy Spirit will lead you through His peace in your heart.
Leave the meat, drink, fun, and all of that for a while and concentrate on the threefold cord that runs through the kingdom of God.
May God give you more understanding in Jesus name!
We break the power of iniquity in your life in the name of Jesus. I release God’s peace, shalom, nothing missing, nothing broken, to surround you in Jesus name!
I pray that the joy of the Lord is yours today and forevermore!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to mock God in any way
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to live with your fear in mind
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
A couple of years back, a certain lady called me. Let’s call her Sister Sube.
She started by telling me how bitter she is against God, that God has refused to answer all her prayers. She said despite constant vigils, fasting, and prayers, God has turned a deaf ear to her. She told me how she was on the brink of giving up.
Sister Sube went further to tell me that she has been crying for days and that she is thinking of forgetting God and moving on. She told me that no serious man has approached her in the last few months.
Then she dropped the bomb!
She said, “Even this man that I am living in his house has refused to propose!”
“Living in his house?” I asked.
“Yes now, I thought if I move into his house, it will make things fast, but right now, he has only been sleeping with me.”
Then she concluded, “Pastor, I am tired.” I pray a lot, no answer. I am even just coming from a vigil right now.”
As ridiculous as this may sound, I am telling you a true story. And I am also sure there are many people who might have found themselves in this kind of predicament.
The reality is that you cannot violate a part of the scripture and then expect His promises to work for you.
Yes, some things happen by acts of mercy, but you get to a certain point, God commands everyone to repent.
That lady above is trying to mock God. Sadly, God cannot be mocked. Such a person ends up deceiving himself or herself.
There is no point attending vigils and going to the mountain every Friday and then continuing in sin. It is just a waste of time.
Let me give you some tips that can help.
For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. – Romans 14:17 (KJV)
You cannot gallivant your way to heaven. It requires a certain level of seriousness and discipline with your spiritual life. It requires some inconvenience.
There is always a price to pay. It is not in meat and drink alone. It is not in tripping her, taking her to cinemas alone, and buying her gifts.
Meat and drinks, fun, and frolicking around are never the passwords into God’s kingdom.
It is in righteousness which is right living. You cannot cheat your way into the Kingdom. You are either for Him or against Him.
May God grant you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to mock God in any way
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to live with your fear in mind
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. – Romans 14:17 (KJV)
The quality of meekness is one state of the heart that should not be compromised. Marry a teachable woman. You need a lady that is submissive.
Submission is not subservience or servitude. It is just a cooperation to allow your husband have the final say.
As a lady, never marry a man you detest or that you cannot defer to.
In talking to women, Apostle Peter listed some qualities every woman should have and every man should look for.
When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your [a]reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. 1 Pet.3:2
Now, listen very carefully. You will not always find a perfect woman! You have to allow her to grow. You have to be patient.
If you are looking for that Mrs. Perfect, I have news for you, she does not exist!
4. Look for a woman you love and your heart blesses!
Marriage is by choice and not by force, so it is important you look for a lady you truly love and your heart blesses. Don’t marry out of pressure or suggestion.
When you marry a woman you truly love, when there are crisis or challenges, the first statement from you won’t be, “I want a divorce,” rather it would be “how can I salvage this situation?” Why? Because you love her!
The scripture likened marriage to Jesus Christ and the church. If Jesus Christ is like the husband, and the church is like the wife, the question is “has the church, the wife of Jesus Christ been perfect?”
The answer is No! How is Jesus Christ coping? How come Jesus has not divorced the church? The church is truly in a messy state and the body of Christ seemed divided and yet the scripture made a shocking statement that all husbands must learn from.
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:27 KJV)
How will Jesus achieve this for God’s sake? You see, because I am supposed to take a cue from Him since I am a husband or husband-to-be like Jesus Christ is the husband of the church.
Message Translation even made it more incredible.
Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor––since they’re already “one” in marriage (Ephesians 5:26-28 Message)
I must look for a woman I truly love and I am comfortable that everything I do or say is designed to evoke her beauty and bring the best out of her!
Verse 27 tells us how Jesus Christ would achieve this.
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:27 KJV)
May God grant you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am deliberate in my approach to find love
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, turn things around in my favour
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor––since they’re already “one” in marriage Eph 5:28 MSG
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start preparing for your marriage now.
It is important you look for a lady who is your friend. Friends don’t want to hurt one another. Friends love each other truly. Friends forgive each other easily. Friends want to be with one another. Friends don’t have problems with communication. They talk all the time.
It is important that your love grows from friendship. That is why it is not good to rush into a relationship with a person you barely know. There is a huge difference between marrying an acquaintance and marrying a friend.
It is even worse when you decide to marry a stranger that you met on social media. You will not live on Facebook. You will not give birth on Google Plus. You will not cook on LinkedIn.
So, why establish and maintain a relationship over social media?
Why fall in love with a profile? Why become emotionally attached with a voice over the phone? You have to go for a friend and friendship involves constant communication and a committed relationship.
Before you fall in love, before you are caught in a rapturous ecstasy, try and see her one on one! It is impossible to fall in love with a person you don’t know, so become friends first and don’t be caught up in infatuation.
2. Look for a homely woman
The next thing to look for in a woman is homeliness. Look for a lady that can cook! Yes, she is not a house-help, but she has to know how to cook! Good food is very important to men.
As a single lady, train yourself to know how to cook well. If she cannot cook, there will be issues.
If as a lady, you had grown up among several house-helps and you barely go to the kitchen, you have to deliberately teach yourself how to prepare good food in preparation for marriage.
If you visit your fiancée and all you are served are always noodles, flakes, beverages, and refreshments, you should start suspecting! That’s a joke!
Be creative with cooking. Get on the Internet and download recipe ideas.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am deliberate in my approach to find love
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, turn things around in my favour
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor––since they’re already “one” in marriage Eph 5:28 MSG
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start preparing for your marriage now.
You were born in one day! Nobody is born in days or weeks. That is why it is birthdays that are celebrated and not birth week or birth month.
You started school in one day. You matriculated into a higher institution in one day. You will graduate in one day.
One day, you will propose. One day, you will give or get an answer.
The processes may take weeks and even months, even years but the crescendo, the actual happenstance is one day!
You will have your wedding in one day. It is called wedding day!
Heaven was created in one day. The earth was fashioned in one day.
The man was made in one day. Eve became a reality in one day.
Jesus was birthed in one day. He was crucified in one day. He rose up in one day. He ascended in one day.
Death comes once and takes one day! Life comes in one day when you received Jesus into your life.
I am here to tell you this morning, that all you have gone through, what has made you cry, what has messed you up, the past that seems to have dragged for years, the delay in marriage that seems would not end, all will be sorted out in one day!
Sometimes, the issues we face seem so gargantuan that we conclude it cannot be solved in one day! But in one day, God will turn things around for you.
Who hath heard such a thing? who hath seen such things? Shall the earth be made to bring forth in one day? or shall a nation be born at once? for as soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her children. – Isaiah 66:8 (KJV)
But it happened in one day!
They have been in servitude and slavery for over four hundred years. Their slavery is not only acute but generational. Grandsons met their grandfathers as slaves and their own children met them there!
If such slavery and bondage has extended for over four centuries, certainly it would take years to dislodge and be free.
But not with God!
In one day, a nation was born. In one day, they left. In one day, they were made free. In one day, their emancipation came.
I want to announce to you this morning that the trans-generational issue is coming to an end in one day.
I say unto prophetically, as of the Lord, that affliction, that delay, that family issue that has been there is over today in Jesus name.
Weeping has endured for a night, now your joy has come!
You have been jobless for years, but your one day is here!
You have been trusting God for the right spouse for years, but today I announce to you, your marriage is born!
Now, how did the children of Israel leave? How did they cross the red sea? How did they transit from over 400 years of servitude into freedom in one day?
Here it is;
He turned the sea into dry land: they went through the flood on foot: there did we rejoice in him. – Psalms 66:6 (KJV)
It was with rejoicing! And that is what I dare you to do.
Keep rejoicing. Laugh at that situation. He that sits in heaven is laughing because your victory is sure.
He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. – Psalms 2:4 (KJV)
And you have to laugh too because you are seated with Him. Glory to God!
Refuse to be depressed. Rejoice at your victory because that one day of yours is here!
I announce to you in the name of the Lord, your one day is here!
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My one day is here! Glory to Go
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, turn things around in my favour
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 2:4(KJV) He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start singing and dancing now.
The spiritual husband will put the things of God first place. He takes charge of the family in the place of spiritual oversight and knows how to hear from God.
A man that doesn’t know how to hear God can make the whole family suffer because of wrong decisions.
Every day, a man is making decisions, but the consequences of his decisions go beyond him, they affect the whole family.
However, ladies don’t just want a spiritual husband. They also want a romantic husband.
4. The Romantic Husband
If he is spiritual but unromantic, he will be a bore!
Ladies would be like “Is it only Bible reading and speaking in tongues all the time? Going to the movies once in a while nko?
Ladies want a man that knows his onions when it comes to being romantic.
Every wife wants a man that can read the Bible but can also read their moods. They want a man who can interpret tongues and can also interpret non-verbal cues. They want a man who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit and is also sensitive to their needs!
Abi ladies, is that not what you want?
5. The Humorous Husband
Every lady loves her husband who can make her laugh! What is the point of frowning all over the house throughout the day?
Pastor, is it when there is no money that we would be laughing? Well, read your Bible very well.
At destruction and famine thou shalt laugh… – Job 5:22 (KJV)
Laugh about it and stop looking like Lucozade!
Make your wife laugh!
Those times when your wife is not really happy for whatever reasons, sometimes they themselves don’t even know why you should know what chords to strike that will tickle her.
If all you do is make that lady frown and sad, your relationship or marriage is at risk the day one colleague starts making your wife laugh!
You must know her password. You must learn her love language and learn how to deploy the words strategically to get her out of any pit of depression!
Laughter is like medicine! So, husbands, loosen up.
Guys in courtship, all this frowning all over the place because you are trusting God for money to get a house and settle down is not the way out. Get into God’s word, eat them and let it become a joy and rejoicing of your heart!
As you stay joyful, God will give you ideas that will bring more income, will favour you, and cause an in-flow of funds that will position you to experience God’s supernatural supply system!
I pray that God will give you more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will go after wisdom. Knowledge is pleasant to my soul. I enjoy reading God’s word. Discretion will preserve me. Understanding will keep me.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY O Lord, flood my heart with the light of your word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And here’s why: GOD gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding. (Pro 2:6 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start searching for knowledge of God’s word now.
Proverbs 20:6 (KJV) Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?
Most men will tell you all kinds of stuffs while toasting you, but where is really that faithful man?
A faithful man will abound with blessings. If you have a faithful husband, treasure him. If you have a man that will not cheat on you, you are blessed!
We are in a generation where ladies would open their legs without asking for it.
If you are unfaithful, if you are careless, if you have no self control, you will fry yourself alive!
See me, I have made up my mind o… there is no going back by the grace of God!
Making up your mind doesn’t mean you are boasting, it means you are consecrating yourself unto God and by His Spirit to stay true to His word.
I am an Ijebu man. We are very shrewd.
Which one weighs more? Your destiny or seven minutes of sweating and jacking up and down? Just asking ni o!
Enjoying yourself in the pleasure of adultery or fornication versus losing God’s favour and even losing heaven when you are unrepentant! Which one?
2. The Responsible Husband
The responsible husband will ensure his family is taken care of.
He would not spend money drinking around town while his kids are sent home for not paying school fees.
He would do all possible in God to ensure the best is provided for His family.
He is not lazy.
Every woman should pray for a responsible husband.
My heart bleeds to hear of many women who are breadwinners of their families, struggling to make ends meet because they are married to a man who is full of promises and talks but will never do anything.
Marrying a lazy man is an affliction in itself. Before you walk down the aisle, watch it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by the spirit of God. My feelings do not control me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the rightful person for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Happy New Month to all partners and members of KHC. This month, your dreams shall become a reality.
From the first to the third of March, we will be waiting on God in fasting and prayers. If you are in Ibadan, Nigeria, join us by 6 pm at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, beside Trans Amusement park, Bodija-Ui road, Ibadan.
Continued from yesterday…
My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. – Song of Solomon 2:10 (KJV)
Or maybe you are in love with the one who is not in love with you… and that can be an affliction of the soul and the body. But much more than this, there is a voice that gives power to your lover’s voice.
There is the romantic voice and there is the spiritual voice. The romantic will always be dependent on the spiritual. Both of them are good, but one is terrestrial and the other is celestial. And the glory of the celestial will always surpass that of the terrestrial.
This is the voice of Yahweh. If your lover has heard Him in the morning, then his or her voice will not be muted towards you that day.
The voice of God is powerful, breaking cedars and shaking the wilderness of Kadesh. God’s voice will shatter the eerie silence that wants to dominate your relationship and marriage.
Have you heard Him this morning? That is only when you can speak like a true lover to your loved ones with your speech bringing grace!
No wonder we have it here:
Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. – Colossians 4:6 (KJV)
This only becomes a reality when humanity has a synergy with divinity, when you have been with the Lord, your mouth will not lack adequate words to everybody around you and particularly to your loved one!
What has your communication been like? Does His voice or her voice still tickle you? Do you listen to the voice of your maker at the dawn of the day?
This is what keeps your love life going, not just in the right direction, but with the right person. This is what keeps marriages and homes together. Without that voice, it will be a wasted effort.
I rest my case this morning as I conclude with this scripture:
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. – Psalms 127:1 (KJV)
You will not waste your years.
You will not labour in vain.
You will not fall in love hopelessly.
You will not waste your years in loving the one that will never love you.
You will not build shacks!
If GOD doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks… – Psalms 127:1 (MSG)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love helplessly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to recognize the voice of your lover
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! – Song of Solomon 2:10 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you truly in love? Think about it.
My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. – Song of Solomon 2:10 (KJV)
The Message Translation says:
My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! – Song of Solomon 2:10 (MSG)
The voice of your lover! There is always something about that voice!
If your lover is not speaking, something is wrong.
My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! So says the Message Translation.
You see, the proof of His arrival is His voice whose rich vocals fill the house.
If you want to really know the lover that has “arrived” with you, his or her voice will be busy. If your lover has arrived in his or her heart, if you are truly on the same page, his voice would not be muted.
The moment you have not heard the voice of the one you called your lover for weeks, he has not arrived! You are not on the same page!
If he or she is always busy, and the vocal cords are tied, and the voice is scarce, then something is wrong somewhere.
When married couples have been silent, rendered incommunicado by trivial quarrels and immaturity, that marriage is not in a good state. After silence comes assumptions and innuendos, and assumptions are the lowest form of knowledge.
Are you really in love? We will know by reason of when you spoke last. We will know if you are talking regularly. We will know if you are just doing surface talks and throwing banters with nothing deep or serious.
We will know if the love is one-sided and lop-sided with only one party doing the calling, the wooing, and the pursuing! We will know if he or she sees your voice as a rant, irritated at your calls, making you look like a nuisance.
That, my dear, is no love!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love helplessly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to recognize the voice of your lover
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My lover has arrived and he’s speaking to me! Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me! – Song of Solomon 2:10 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Are you truly in love? Think about it.
Poverty is not your portion! Lack is not part of your redemptive package!
Your prayer should be that God should help you obey Him in giving and other instructions.
For constant financial blessings, there are seeds that must be in the ground. It is a universal law that will never be broken as long as you see day and night.
While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. – Genesis 8:22 (KJV)
You can break the back of poverty with your seed and your confession, not just with prayers.
So, your prayer should be that God should give you a heart that gives and obeys God promptly. Always listen to what He has to say and do it.
You should reject poverty with every fibre of your being. Refuse to accommodate flashes and pictures of lack and insufficiency!
The devil likes to flood your mind with images of lack and insufficiency. Passionately refuse, reject and divorce those images. Rather, fill your mind with God’s word about increase and prosperity and that becomes your experience.
4. Mediocrity
We serve an excellent God and we are to do things excellently!
God loves excellence.
There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun, who rideth upon the heaven in thy help, and in his excellency on the sky. – Deu 33:26 (KJV)
He is an excellent God! Everything you do should be done, not with the least energy but with all you have, surpassing expectations and going before the norm.
Oh, when you have that excellence perspective, nobody can just slide into your skirt or trousers! No way!
That excellent spirit abhors chaos, disorder and gate crashing! When a guy wants to gate crash, the excellent spirit in you will not allow such invasion!
Mediocre spirit accommodates nonsense and every kind of violation! Mediocrity celebrates generosity of one’s body!
An excellent spirit births a strong self esteem that makes you secure in who you are in God!
Say with me, “I have an excellent spirit!
May God grant more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will no longer be delayed. I cooperate with God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray against the spirit of delay.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
There are trends in your life you should reject completely. They are not God’s plan for your life.
Never call them “My problem” They are not your problems, the devil is only trying to impose them on you.
There are things that are already dealt with and finished as a result of the death and the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Let’s take a look at them.
1. Delay
There are delays caused by natural situations. There are self inflicted delays as a result of disobedience. But there are also demonic delays, a direct attack from hell.
Whichever way, whatever is attempting to steal your joy is not of God. In God, the price is paid through Jesus Christ.
Whatever has been a hindrance and obstruction on the path of your destiny, it is removed in Jesus name!
A major cure for delay in your life is a passionate cry unto the Lord to satisfy you early with mercy that you may be glad all the day of your life!
Mercy Lord!
2. Compromise
Like plagues, that is how you treat habitual sins, because that is what they are!
Listen to me, if your life must gain traction, if help must reach you, if the heavens be opened over you, you have to let go of habitual sins.
Sin is not supposed to lord it over you again. Jesus dealt with it once and for all!
Read these verses slowly and meditatively.
A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. [3] God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn’t deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that. The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. [4] And now what the law code asked for but we couldn’t deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us. [5] Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! – Romans 8:2-5 (MSG)
Hallelujah!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will no longer be delayed. I cooperate with God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray against the spirit of delay.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Alright, so when you come and say, I don’t have feelings for him or her again, the question is “was it feelings that led you before?”
Again, to test the genuineness of the loss of your feelings, do you already have feelings for somebody else? A coded way of double dating? And then the sense of guilt pushes you to disconnect with the former, thereby telling him or her, I don’t have feelings again.
Jumping from a feeling-led-relationship into another feeling-led relationship is like jumping from frying pan into fire!
A quick way of dropping the former is to say “I don’t have feelings again.” But you must check the intents of your heart and be sure it is conviction leading you.
Again, when you are dropping someone because you are in love with another one, it is not always healthy because you have initiated a love adventure with a new person without ending the former.
So you try to proceed into the new while you are still intertwined with the old. The new will be frustrated.
And no man putteth new wine into old bottles; else the new wine will burst the bottles, and be spilled, and the bottles shall perish. – Luke 5:37 (KJV)
Not having a sufficient time to heal and pray can often be a decision made out of feelings!
5. Feelings will not equate to God’s voice
Finally, do not allow feelings to replace leading.
You must be led.
Feelings can confuse the soul.
What a married man or woman has for a colleague are feelings and those feelings can get him or her into serious trouble if he decided to feed the feelings.
Learn to not give attention to your feelings especially when you are on the terrain of iniquity. Feelings and lusts are pals. They are close pals, so you need to be careful here.
It was a rush of feeling and lust that David had for Bathsheba. And it led to adultery and murder.
Decide to hear God’s voice and not just rely on feelings.
Take time to ask God for His leading, if you are going through a period of knowing who to marry. Also, if you are already in a relationship or you are married, take time to ask God to help you in your emotions so that you don’t get into trouble. Emotional affair is as real as a physical one.
I pray that God will help you in your emotions and love life and help you discern what is right from what is wrong.
God will help you! The heavens are opened over you! So shall it be in Jesus name!
Don’t forget to SHARE the devotional.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to stay faithful in a perverse world
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
This happens a lot and I get to hear this from time to time.
Pastor, I don’t have feelings for him again.
Pastor, I don’t have feelings for her again.
I will tell you five things quickly that will put things in perspective and help you judge your loss of “feelings” whether they are genuine or just some ruse.
1. Feelings are different from conviction
A feeling is the voice of your flesh. It is an emotional state. A conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.
So, when it comes to relationship and falling in love, as a child of God, you need to ask, is it just feelings I have for this person or do I have a “leading” from God?
They are two different things entirely.
2. Feelings are fickle
Feelings are not bad in themselves, it is just that you should not trust them.
They are fickle, and they don’t have a forever a status.
You can wake up with seven different feelings for a supposed loved one in seven different days.
They are also temporal and they often don’t last. Feelings come and go!
Feelings are not deep. They are surface surfers. Feelings cannot endure. Feelings are like fair weather friends.
3. You will not always have feelings for him or her
The next thing you need to realize is that you will not always have feelings for him or her.
So, in effect, feelings cannot be a standard for measuring your love!
Even in marriage, there are times you wake up to see your spouse and all the feelings have gone on holiday to Bahamas or some Island of no communication!
What do you do? Are you going to file for divorce?
You see, beyond your feelings, there must be a genuine commitment arising from a conviction towards the person you want to get married to!
So, you cannot afford to be led by what you “feel” alone.
Feelings are too weak to sustain you in the midst of love adventure. Feelings will abandon you at the slightest pressure.
It is only conviction that can travel the whole length with you, in cold or summer!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by the spirit of God. My feelings do not control me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the rightful person for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
“But that is what you are doing! It is firstly sweet in your mouth, but afterward, it turns into gravel. The mastication process will go awry. So says the scriptures.”
“I don hear. Holy sister.”
“But candidly speaking, your perspective is wrong. Don’t waste your time on what will not work.”
Phone rings, as they made to enter their room.
Nancy picked up her phone and looked at the name on the screen. It was one of her boyfriends, the one that was not caring, but gives her a lot of money.
“I beg, make I pick important call, my foodstuff don nearly finish!”
As she chatted away, Angie sat down on the edge of her bed and ruminated. She prayed silently to God to help her communicate and help her friend who is obviously dancing with imminent disappointments.
She knew what she was doing wouldn’t work. It was simply not God’s order. She wondered at how her roommate had trivialized what is clearly a sin, how she kind of mocked God with her attitude to life.
She seemed to be enjoying it now and she prayed for her silently as the scripture came to her mind:
Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow. – Isa 50:11
She knew all Nancy was reveling in were sparks…and she prayed to God to send light her way, before the night time, when her bed would have been decked up with sorrow!
Despite all she is doing, she knows God loves her deeply, but that is not enough, she needs to love the Lord too and that is where the real blessing is!
When she sees the light, then she would realize she has been living in the sparks!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to stay faithful in a perverse world
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
“Thank you, sister Angel. I love my boyfriend and he loves me. When we are married, we will go to church.”
“Who told you that you will get married to him?”
“I know! He told me we will.”
“And who told you that you are the only one he is promising?” Angie said.
“Yes, I may not be the only one, but I am the first on his list”
“List? Nancy, why go through this humiliation?
“Which one is humiliation there now? Is there any man out there that can be faithful?”
“You always get what you expect! I will be married to a man who not only loves me but also loves the Lord,”
“Such men are all dead, I beg!”
“No, they are still alive.”
“You are simply inexperienced. You don’t know guys. I currently have three boyfriends and my back is covered. If one fails, I will latch unto another.”
“Your back is not covered.” You are toying with your life and destiny.”
“There you go again, pastoress.”
“But candidly, it is not like God doesn’t want you to have a boyfriend, but He wants everything done His own way.”
“What’s His own way?”
“No sex.”
“That is not possible”
“It is possible. I am an example.” Angie said.
“So, I will not test wetin I go buy for market? Nancy said shaking her head.
“How many times have you been sexually involved with your boyfriend?
“Which of them?
“See your life?”
“I can’t count o… Am I supposed to be recording that? I be secretary?”
“Ok, let’s just say twenty times… So you have been testing? For how long will you test in the market? Will you ever get home? Is the market not your home now?”
“Leave that one, I dey enjoy am, plus lots of bucks.”
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to stay faithful in a perverse world
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
The day has been a hectic one. Having six lectures back to back was not an easy task. Angie and Nancy are two of a kind. They were roommates in one of the private Universities. As they walked back to their hall, they struck a conversation. It was more than a conversation. It was a state of their hearts.
Welcome to the world of Angie and Nancy.
“There is only one thing on my mind now, can you guess?” Angie asked.
“What else will it be, other than to go and eat and sleep off?” Replied Nancy.
“Waoh! You are in the Spirit, you got it. Flesh and blood hath not revealed that unto you.”
“What about me, guess what’s rolling on my mind?” Nancy asked.
“Same thing now, are you not hungry and tired?”
“Yes, I am hungry and tired, but it is not food and sleep that will appease the goddess now”
“Ok o, Miss goddess, what is on your mind?” Asked Angie?
“What’s on my mind? It’s more than Facebook status o…”
“Ok, na Twitter, abi?”
“You sure don’t want to know, Nancy said giggling.”
“Your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Nancy said, almost screaming, and eyes bulging. “I want to be wrapped in my boyfriend’s arms.”
“Wrap? You be foo-foo, abi? You don’t know more than that, Jesus is coming soon o!
“Please, can’t we have a decent conversation without you sermonizing me?” Nancy said with a slight hiss.
“Oh oh…why the beef now? And where is the sermon? I have not even quoted a scripture. I have not even told you that the soul that sinneth shall die!”
“Please! All of us are sinners. It is God that knows who is serving Him!”
Calmly, Angie said, “I disagree with that. It is not only God that knows. Those who are serving Him also know. I spoke to Him this morning!”
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the Grace to stay faithful in a perverse world
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
We are still on things that are popular and prevalent but not necessarily of God.
4. We have to seek Prophet’s consent
This is another nonsensical pursuit. It is a waste of time. What you need to know is that there are prophets for profit. They are hungry and they need to eat, so they will always see something. These fake prophets have obfuscated the real and original prophets because people are readily drawn to deception.
Even when you give them three non-existent names, they will still see something! That spirit in them will not be able to identify that those are non-existent names.
In the Old Testament, the people will consult the prophet for direction because the Holy Spirit is only upon these prophets. But in the New Testament, the primary function of the prophet has moved from foretelling to forth-telling.
The Holy Spirit is now upon all believers, and you are supposed to be led by the Spirit of God individually. If your prophet or pastor confirms what is already in your heart, that is okay. I have done that for a lot of people, but pastors or prophets are not to be sought for direction on who to marry!
You are to decide, they can confirm! If a pastor insists you must marry somebody you dislike and you are not in love with, that is nothing more than emotionalism and manipulation!
5. I don’t really love him or her, but I need the citizenship
This is another wrong reason to get married. Getting married to an older person to get some papers? Don’t be that desperate; allow God to do what He wants to do in your life.
What if you are not supposed to be in that place according to God’s direction for your life? You would have sentenced yourself to a life of non-fulfillment and dissatisfaction.
You might end up having some Dollars or Pounds, but you will never have the peace of mind that way, and there is all likelihood that such marriages will not last!
You don’t have God’s support when you venture into such deals.
May God grant more understanding!
I pray for you, you will not miss it. God will surround you with His mercy!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow God all the way. I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you stay true till the end
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
Yesterday, I started writing on things that are popular and prevalent but not necessarily of God.
2. He has to be ‘mobile’ (He‘s got to have a car!)
Well, this is good! Who doesn’t want the best of things and who wants to ‘suffer’ first? If your fiancée has a good car before marriage, great! You are blessed!
But to make this a criterion will be a great error. The important thing is to find out God’s plan for your life. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil!
Are you marrying the car or the guy? What if something happens to the car? There are seemingly rich guys today who are on their way to being massively broke. But there are also guys who are seemingly broke today but are on their way to being unrepentantly rich!
As a lady, you need to follow your heart and you have to be able to “perceive!”
3. We have to be compatible in bed
You just want to satisfy your lust, simple! How do you measure this compatibility in bed? What would he or she do that will give a pass mark?
And if he or she is not compatible according to your judgment, what happens? Look for the next available person and jump in bed to measure compatibility? Compatibility in bed is a figment of the imagination, and that is why you keep measuring after the first “measurement”
It is high time we stop that deception. It is high times ladies woke up and stop being easily deceived.
If the lady was good in bed, you’ll say she is too exposed; she has slept with too many people. If she is naïve in bed, you’ll say she is Mummy’s girl! So, exactly what are you up to?
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow God all the way. I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you stay true till the end
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
This morning, we would like to set some things straight. There has been so much ignorance and wrong counsel.
There are things that are popular and prevalent but not necessarily of God. That something is nearly ubiquitous does not validate it. The voice of the people is sometimes reverberations and echoes of hell!
The voice of God is what stands any day, any time. The voice of man and the principles of man are often fraught with errors and casualties.
In God, there is nothing like Democracy, it is Theocracy. All of God or none of Him!
There are things that have been defined by the media and societal inclination; but as long as they are not founded in the word, they are as fickle as a flower that blossoms today and withers tomorrow.
You cannot build your life on such, or else when the storm rages; the wind blows and the rain falls, great will be the ruin of such building.
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 3:11 KJV)
So, what are some of those things?
1. She Has To Get Pregnant Before Marriage
Some families will insist on this before they agree on any marriage. They want to be sure that the daughter they are bringing into the family is fertile or the guy that wants to marry their daughter is not impotent.
No matter how logical this looks, it contradicts the principle of God in terms of making the marriage bed undefiled.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4 KJV)
However you want to see it, what is wrong is wrong. When your marriage is therefore founded on disobedience, it cuts short the blessings of God. It is not the ‘fertility’ of the lady or the potency of the man that will guarantee the next pregnancy after marriage.
There are couples who are very okay and have nothing wrong with their bodies and yet it takes a while to get pregnant. So how many times will the poor lady be subjected to some sexual rendezvous all in a bid to get her pregnant? And if she doesn’t get pregnant, she waits for another man, while she is discarded like an unwanted element?
How about her self-esteem? Self-worth? And who says the woman is always the issue in the event of no pregnancy?
This idea is definitely not of God and not from God!
Don’t allow yourself to be subjected to such affliction! Learn to trust God because God cannot lead wrong! He may lead you round, but He will never lead you wrong.
May God grant more understanding!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow God all the way. I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you stay true till the end
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
