As they sat before me in the office, I counseled them and then explained a few things.
1. While you were on campus, you gave access to the devil in your life when you flouted the rules of the fellowship. That deception was the loophole that the devil capitalized on to have an inroad into your life. You see, one degree away from truth is falsehood. When you start telling lies, you are dancing on the terrain of the devil because he is that father of all lies.
2. You had no mentor or pastor over your relationship. There will always be issues you wouldn’t be able to handle alone. Mentors are supposed to save you from the tormentors of life.
3. God is never mocked. All the time you combined ministering with deceptive lifestyle, it was only the mercy of God that kept you alive. You were sowing the wrong seeds that would later haunt you.
4. The compromise you had then has destroyed trust between the two of you. And up till now, that trust is still missing. You now need to do something about it so that you don’t crash your marriage eventually. No marriage will survive without trust.
5. You asked God for forgiveness and He forgave you, but both of you have refused to forgive yourselves.
6. You need to forgive yourselves and allow the trust to be rebuilt again in your life. If you keep on being victims of your past, your past will control you.
7. As a married couple, find someone to mentor both of you.
8. And now, an important point. Consciously build trust again. You do that by constant communication. Never hide anything from each other again. Be open; be naked and not ashamed. Don’t allow secrets to be discovered. That will rupture trust the more. If anybody is disturbing you, open up immediately. If he or she has to discover, then trust is ruptured the more.
9. Pray together regularly. You cannot ignore that.
10. Relax together. Talk a lot. Go on outings together. Spend time together and rebuild that trust!
I see you come out victorious.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of the past arrows
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to heal from wounds of past arrows
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
They were in love with each other the moment they set eyes on each other, and they expressed their love for one another. However, the executives of the fellowship were not allowed to initiate a relationship or be in courtship while in the office unless they have started a relationship before assuming the office. So, they had to keep the relationship secret.
However, they were so much in love, and in no time, they began to get physical. They haven’t gone all the way yet, but it was like they got involved in everything apart from actual penetration.
It wasn’t a good time for them, because they would ask God to forgive them and they would be there again. Eventually, they went all the way and they compromised. It was difficult for them because everybody looked up to them. They began to live in deceit. They needed help but they didn’t know who they can talk to without being seen as the greatest and the most monumental disgrace and disappointment to Christianity!
After a while, the deception went to another level. Bode’s conscience became seared and he believed the lie that God must be overlooking what he was doing since he would still operate under the anointing. Bode would sleep with Terry and then would still preach on fornication. He was a walking error…and he didn’t know.
Terry could not handle that level of deception. Eventually, she went to seek help, and both of them were summoned over the holidays and restored back to their fellowship with God. They stopped from that time on till they eventually got married, but a wrong seed has been sown into the foundation of their marital journey and that is what is haunting them six years after marriage.
Terry believed that Bode would still compromise at any opportunity because he could accommodate deception while he was the president of the fellowship. Bode believed, that since Terry could not stop him then and be strong, she is still probably weak and vulnerable and he keeps searching her phone suspiciously all the time.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of the past.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to heal of the past
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
The home of the Johnson’s has always been tense. Like the humorously wicked characters in Tom and Jerry, they fought constantly. By the way, if you have two boys in the house, don’t allow them to watch Tom and Jerry too often, otherwise, they wouldn’t like themselves!
Bode and Terry Johnson never trusted each other. They were born again, tongue-talking, demon-chasing believers, but they are usually suspicious of each other.
They have been married for six years, yet the issue of trust is still a big deal. The other time Bode traveled out of the country for about three weeks, they still fought on the phone on issues that bothered on trust. They were constantly checking on each other, about who they were with, who visited them, who they visited, and so on until they got on each other’s nerves.
Bode was there, wondering about who his wife might be with at work. Terry too never had peace of mind because she never seemed to know what Bode was capable of doing.
Trust is fundamental to the success of a relationship or marriage, but here they are with their trust for each other in question.
In situations like this, there is usually a source of the fears they have for each other. Something has happened in time past that keeps the trigger of suspicion on all the time.
As they sat to be counseled, I began to probe into their past and beginning from where and how they met each other.
First of all, both of them had come from a home where either of the parents cheated at least once. Whether they agreed or not, they both came into a relationship with some attitude from defective parental examples.
They were both born-again Christians when they met. As a matter of fact, they met in the fellowship. Bode was the president of the fellowship while Terry was the prayer secretary. Both posts were pivotal and they are practically the leaders of the fellowship.
What else did I find out about Bode and Terry?
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of the past.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to heal of the past
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Valentine’s day is here and it will go. But there is a decision you must make, do not let your destiny go with it.
How shall we do Valentine and then life is crystallized into agony afterward. Don’t lose it. You are a child of God, remember that.
Demons of lust, adultery, compromise, and all other sexual perversion are on overdrive today, do not cooperate with them.
Today, the atmosphere would all be set. Your body would literally crave for it. But you would be making the greatest mistake of your life if you listen to your body.
A strong desire does not authenticate that which is desired. The voice of your body is not superior to the voice of your spirit. The spirit ought to take ascendancy and not the body.
This is what Apostle Paul was saying here
But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. – 1Co 9:27 (KJV)
Your body would scream for compromise, but don’t listen to it, for decisions taken in the flesh will always lead to some form of death.
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. – Rom 8:6 (KJV)
The amplified version expatiate further
Now the mind of the flesh [ which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit ] is death [ death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter ]. But the mind of the [ Holy ] Spirit is life and [ soul ] peace [ both now and forever ]. – Rom 8:6 (AMPC)
Don’t go to areas that are already set to trap you. Evening parties, clubs, guest houses, love gardens, and hotels. Any meeting in such places today would end in regrets.
On the other hand, while at home, do not stay behind closed doors with a lover or intending lover. It takes a closed-door to close up your destiny.
Don’t drink. Things happen when you drink.
Don’t be deceived by that deceptive statement, let’s just touch ourselves, we won’t do much! Dry humping each other will end in some wet humping and could drown you.
Be vigilant. Stay close to God’s word.
Whether you have a Val or not, find an evening church program and attend.
Thankfully, today at Shouts of Grace Center in Ibadan, if you are around, you can join us as we take a dive into teachings on sex and relationships. Also, we have a valentine’s dinner for singles. You can check HERE for more information.
Stay with God, you will have the victory and the last laugh.
Let me end my admonition with this scripture in The Message Translation:
Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. – 1Pe 5:8-11 (MSG)
Be blessed. Be safe. Stay spiritual!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s day. There are so many stories about who valentine actually was. Here is one of the prominent stories.
He was a Roman priest during the 3rd century A.D. when Emperor Claudius II was the king at the time. He decided to ban marriage, because of the notion that unmarried soldiers fought better than married soldiers. Valentine secretly officiated marriages.
He was eventually found out arrested and imprisoned. He was then beheaded and he became a martyr by the Church because he gave up his life to perform the institution of marriage.
By the 5th Century, Pope Gelasius declared 14th of February to be Valentine’s day!
Well, Valentine’s day is no longer a sacred day as it were! In the lives of some ladies, that day would probably be saddest days of their lives.
To some others, it would be the day they would be introduced into the world of sexual compromise!
A lot more have penciled the day as the day they would desecrate the one they profess they love.
It is not so much of celebration of love again but a celebration of iniquity, a validation of Jeru trip and a total affront on the injunctions of God in the areas of marriage!
Here are few things to note:
1. Be extremely careful. Sin is glorified in a day like this and it is democratized.
2. Do not go to places where you are not supposed to go to because you want to celebrate Valentine. Watch your legs.
3. Do not go to nightclubs and do not stay with him or her alone! You already know what they do in night clubs. It’s not prayer vigil!
4. If you are alone, the mood in the air might set your already fired up emotions and push you into the dangerous terrain of sexual adventures.
5. Don’t allow gifts, chocolates, ice cream and things like that to buy your resolve. A virtuous woman cannot be bought because the scripture says her price is far above rubies.
6. Do not make the mistake of passing the night with the one you are not married to. If you try it, something you will regret later might happen. It’s as sure as you see your palms that something will happen.
7. Don’t take alcohol. Things happen when you get tipsy. Don’t take drinks from strangers or somebody you met two hours ago in the name of Valentine.
Alcohol is for people who are dying, for those who are in misery. – Pro 31:6 (GNB)
8. Don’t allow him or her to talk you into sexual compromise and disobedience saying, it’s just one day! The devil doesn’t need more than one day to rupture your destiny! That will not be your portion!
9. There are things you do for seven minutes and you regret for seven years. There are people you kiss for a second and your destiny is crucified. There are strange hands you allow in your blouse or skirt and your life is messed up! Be careful!
10. All in all, stay on the God side and you will be good!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be distracted on Valentine’s day
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Celebrate Valentine’s day well
Betty: Then start working on yourself. Marriage is made up of two real people with their different opinions and perspectives, and if it must last, they must be quick forgivers.
Angie: I have a problem with forgiving people. I am usually deeply hurt.
Betty: Anybody can be hurt, but love is supposed to cover a multitude of mistakes. You have to learn that if you are going to have a good marriage.
Angie: Must I be the one that will be forgiving all the time? Won’t that crush my esteem?
Betty: Which is why you don’t want to marry just anybody because of pressures. You want to marry someone you know that both of you are on the same page in terms of beliefs, serving God, and loving God
Angie: God help me
Betty: When you marry a man that really fears God, it becomes much more easier.
Angie: God, give me a man that loves you
Betty: Wrong prayer
Angie: Eeeeeh! …so what is the right prayer?
Betty: Lord, make me a woman that loves you.
Angie: Ok, Auntie…thank you so much
Betty: You are welcome.
Angie: I have to go now, to think about all you’ve said and see how to apply them.
Betty: Ok, my dear. Always remember that God has a plan for you and that staying close to Him helps you to actualize that plan.
Angie: God will help me.
Betty: You must help yourself first…by your obedience…that will now unlock His help and blessings.
Angie: I hear! I need to go and call this man that wants to sleep in my house tonight. I want to tell him not to bother. We are not married! I want to do it God’s way and I don’t want to delay myself again.
Betty: Good girl!
Angie: Bye, Auntie.
Betty: Bye, I will see you later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage. I am led of God in finding the right person.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in my journey of finding the right person
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Allow God do the finding for you.
Betty: Because guys are logical. When you easily compromise, they are wondering how many men you are doing that with. They will eventually go for a lady that they perceive as a ‘good girl.’ They can even go to church to look for one, but that is also a mistake on their part.
Angie: God punish them!
Betty: Why curse now? You see, guys who don’t have a relationship with God are able to identify very needy ladies and those with low self-esteem. So they capitalize on that, use them and dump them, and eventually go and marry those they think are more confident.
Angie: My God!
Betty: That is why you must make up your mind never to compromise because of some pressures.
Angie: I am trying.
Betty: Trying is not what God says. You must make up your mind. Do you want God’s plan concerning marriage to be a reality in your life?
Angie: Yes o
Betty: Then you must stop compromising. You cannot eat your cake and have it.
Angie: Auntie, I can’t wait to get married. All my problems will fly away.
Betty: There you go again. Marriage will not solve problems. In fact, if you are unprepared, it brings more problems.
Angie: Not if we really love ourselves
Betty: Loving yourselves does not eliminate quarrels and offenses. It just helps you to handle them the right way.
Angie: Auntie, what do you quarrel about?
Betty: (Smiles) Our first quarrel was during our honeymoon. There was the moon, but no honey.
Angie: What did Uncle do? Auntie, you must be tough.
Betty: He left me alone during our honeymoon and started working on his laptop. He just ignored me. I was angry. Our last quarrel was three days ago. But in all of that, you know what, we forgive each other quickly and move on because if we don’t, there won’t be a marriage.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Betty: You are not reading your Bible well. It says, a merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance. In order words, when you trust God, your heart will be merry because you know God will do it. If your heart is merry, it will show on your face! Shikena! (Period!)
Angie: So my face is driving men away?
Betty: Yes, men are moved by sight firstly before they are moved by your heart. The moment you turn your beautiful face to that of a masquerade, like every problem in the world is on you, guys don’t wait to confirm what is in your heart before they take off.
Angie: But some are still interested in me like this
Betty: So why are you not married?
Angie: I wonder o…
Betty: You don’t need to go to wonderland; did you not say the other time that all the people that come your way are asking for sex?
Angie: Yes
Betty: Because they are not ready for commitment, all they want is fun, so they don’t mind the way you look as long their lust is satisfied.
Angie: Many of them like that
Betty: And that is how you also delay yourself
Angie: How, Auntie?
Betty: By consenting to give them what they ask for, you think you are securing them, but in essence, they will never marry you like that.
Angie: Why are men so wicked?
Betty: It is not about being wicked, it is because they don’t have fear of God.
Angie: Na the same thing joor! (It is the same thing)
Betty: Guys that don’t have the fear of God will try and persuade you to compromise with them, and when you do, they eventually won’t marry you.
Angie: Why would they do that?
To be continued tomorrow
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Angie is a single lady of twenty-nine while Betty is a married woman of about thirty-seven years of age. Angie visits Betty who is her mentor.
Angie: Hullo Auntie
Betty: How are you, Angie?
Angie: I am fine
Betty: No, you are not fine. Why is your face like this? (Looking at her intently)
Angie: That is how my face is Auntie; I like frowning.
Betty: No, that is not your face, something is definitely wrong.
Angie: Ok, Auntie, if I tell you, hope you will not laugh at me?
Betty: No, trust me now?
Angie: Ok, Auntie, na husband wahala o! (It is the issue of marriage)
Betty: (laughing)
Angie: You promised you won’t laugh o
Betty: Ok…but seriously, is that the only issue?
Angie: Yes now, Auntie, or won’t I marry?
Betty: But this frown on your face doesn’t solve it
Angie: It is not easy, I am just depressed about it all
Betty: This your face, if I am the man and I see this face, honestly I will take off
Angie: What happened to my face?
Betty: Take a look at the mirror
Angie: Auntie, it is not that bad, it is just the way I feel
Betty: You don’t get it. You want a husband, and now you put up an attitude that will discourage the exact thing you are looking for. Can’t you see that the purpose is defeated?
Angie: It is not easy, and that is how I feel
Betty: You cannot live by your feelings because feelings are fickle, and they don’t represent well. You have to learn to trust God that He will not disappoint you.
Angie: I trust God, I am even praying and fasting
Betty: I disagree with you on that
Angie: But God knows I trust him o…God looks in the heart, not my face.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
This is how to change your cycles and break into new ones. The social media is unpleasant and caustic to issues that has to do with giving, tithing, first fruits and so on.
Understandably so, there have been charlatans who have manipulated God’s people for their selfish end.
On the other side, the generation of Ishmael will always mock Isaac. It is Isaac who has to make us mind to be unmoved and stand his ground in following God and obeying eternal truths.
This season is when people are supposed to honor God with their first-fruits as well laid out in the scriptures.
Pro 3:9 (ERV) Honor the LORD with your wealth and the first part of your harvest.
So there is honor here, and your first fruit becomes a measure of your value to God in terms of its quality and quantity.
The Bible also clearly says you can enter into a covenant with God by your firstfruits which should be a sacrifice.
Psa 50:5 (AMPC) Gather together to Me My saints [those who have found grace in My sight], those who have made a covenant with Me by sacrifice.
With your sacrifice or first fruits, you can enter into a covenant with God concerning how you want this year to be and also use the same to change a persistent cycle in your life and break into another.
All through scriptures, from Abraham, to Isaac, to David, to Samuel, they forcefully barged into their next levels by sacrifice.
Even God, in wanting to get us back and to Himself, had to offer His best, Jesus as a first fruit!. The son of God became the son of man so that He can brings us as sons back to God.
We were saved through sacrifice!
The earlier you understand these principles and apply them, the quicker you break out of persistent yokes and become high flier by covenant!
Also, important are the laws of value and productivity, which opines that you must turn your value into a product, so that after paying your first fruit, you give God an avenue to bless the work of your hand and increase you and said in the scriptures.
In today’ edition of devotionals for Married Couples, I explained a little what first-fruit would do specifically. You can read HERE
You can also listen to Audio Messages (The Economy of Heaven And Your Prosperity Parts 1 & 2) I taught on this topic HERE. You will also be able to pray the prayers over your sacrifices.
May God give you understanding and strength to obey His voice!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I break every cycle of lack and insufficiency
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding to see truths from your word that will set me free
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 3:9 (MSG) Honor GOD with everything you own; give him the first and the best.
Don’t trap yourself. You are praying together in the night in his room and electricity fails and you are still looking for a candle? That is the time to escape for your life. It is not about the fact that he is a Christian or the prayer leader; it is about the fact that he is a man and he is human.
All those prayers you do while you are wearing something seductive, you are finishing the guy slowly. His eyes are red, the tongues are changing and you think it is the anointing? No, the guy is on fire! And the bible says you cannot carry fire in your bosom and not be burnt!
5. Give her gifts, no matter how small
She likes that a lot. However, the gift may not make any meaning to her if she has been hurt severally.
6. Never shut her up or shout at her, correct in love
God used the finest bones by the sides of a man in creating a woman to indicate that he wants your wife by your side!
God didn’t use the bones by the feet because your wife is not your doormat, whose emotions and person is to be trampled upon!
7. Forgive her quickly
Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. Not forgiving her can block your prayers. So says the scripture!
8. Major on her good points, overlook her mistakes.
That is the way to go if you want your courtship or marriage to last.
9. Never abuse her or disrespect her in the presence of others.
10. Be sensitive to her needs, moods, and fears. Be there for her.
11. Call her pet names. Let her know at every opportunity that you appreciate her.
12. Seek to understand her more so you can love her more. Women are complex. Men should learn and keep learning.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
You wouldn’t imagine how important this is to women. They want to hear it all the time! A man wonders why he should keep saying that because he is logical.
A woman thinks if you don’t say it often, with emotion, eyeball to eyeball, you don’t really love her!
For singles, It is okay to express your love to your fiancée but you must not allow verbal expression to lead to physical aggression. You sure know what I am talking about!
2. Tell her she is beautiful.
Women have issues with their bodies especially after giving birth. She worries about her shape, her belly, her face and more. It goes a long way when you tell her and keep telling her that she is beautiful. I say this to my wife all the time and she would still blush and smile like she is hearing that for the first time.
If your fiancé or husband never says that to you, ask him directly how you look in a dress.
Ladies who are not yet in a relationship, understand that you will not appear beautiful to everybody. If somebody says you are ugly, that is a personal opinion. You will be beautiful to your spouse!
The scripture says you are ‘fearfully’ and ‘wonderfully’ made. So it is okay to be ‘fearful’ to some people. Beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When your spouse sees you, you will be the most beautiful woman on earth. So stop worrying yourself unnecessarily.
3. Listen to her when she talks, give her attention, and don’t ignore her presence.
This is very important to both singles and married couples. It is important you listen well. In a particular country, women pay listeners per hour to just listen to them talk. If a woman finds a listener in her colleague, an emotional affair is knocking on the door. Ever wondered how respectable women end up sleeping with their cooks or drivers?
They were neglected by their husbands and they found a companion elsewhere!
The highest form of listening is empathic listening and this is what your fiancee requires. It involves a guy putting himself in her shoes as he listens with compassion.
Give her your time and attention. Don’t let her compete with laptops, blackberries, ipods, ipads and other ‘toys’
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust your timing.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Fall in love with your common sense! Don’t fall in love with a married man or woman!
He tells you that you are the one he loves. That is a lie! He loves his wife at home; they might just have issues.
Why fall in love and play the second fiddle? Why fall in love with a man that visits twice a week in a house he rented for you? What kind of life is that?
God has got your own spouse for you, but you will keep on delaying what God wants to do when you are busy carrying out your own agenda. Be wise!
A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. (Proverbs 9:13 KJV)
5. Don’t fall in love with a stranger
Don’t fall in love with somebody you don’t know. There is nothing like love at first sight, only with foresight. There may be a ‘knowing’ at first sight, but it is never love at first sight. Why? You cannot fall in love with somebody you don’t know!
The rush of adrenaline in your body does not translate into love! Body chemistry is not love!
Infatuation is not love. Lust is not love. Love is a deeper ‘sensing’ and knowing, more than a feeling, it is an assurance, and it is deep-seated in the heart. It’s not something that happens with a stranger.
Fall in love with a friend, not with a stranger, so that strange things will not happen to you! You don’t’ even know her name, and you are saying you are in love!
For married people, never get tired of your spouse. You have to keep falling in love over and over again. Wives, learn to dress for your hubby at home, he is moved by sight, so stop tying wrappers all the time unless that is what your husband wants. Go get some lingerie and learn to fire up his blood. It is a holy thing to do, for your husband!
I pray that God will grant more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
When you are falling in love, fall in love with some life! Don’t fall in love with a profile on social media. You may be disappointed. Don’t fall in love with a picture! You never know who you are dealing with!
Before you give your heart out, be sure you see the person you are dealing with, or else your heart can be wrenched apart!
“Pastor, it is not just a profile, I heard his voice!” It is still the same hopelessness, falling in love with a voice. Who owns the voice?
The rule of thumb is simple, never give any commitment to someone you have not seen.
If he is not committed to travel down to where you are, or he doesn’t have enough money to come or he doesn’t have the time, then he is not ready for marriage.
I know there can be situations when the persons are far away, probably in another country, then get family members who are around involved.
You cannot just fix a wedding date with somebody in Brazil and then travel there. I cannot recount how many have called me to talk about the greatest disappointments of their lives upon emptying their accounts and resigning from work to go and meet a guy somewhere who eventually turns out to be mentally imbalanced. A word is enough for the wise.
3. Don’t fall in love carelessly.
Don’t fall in love carelessly.
You met two hours ago. Now you are in bed! That is not love! That is lust and you are going to be dropped soonest like hot potatoes! The principles of God are being violated like that and you are not going to have His support.
The purpose of falling in love is not to take somebody to bed; it is to take somebody down the aisle. Jeru trap with someone will never be able to prove your love. They are just not the same, otherwise, the prostitute will fall in love with all her clients, but it never happens that way. Fall in love with care and caution!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Falling in love is a special experience, or so it is intended to be. But there are ways to fall in love. The foundation to falling in love the right way is to fall in love with God first. God, Himself is love and when you fall in love with Him, He will teach you and help you to understand what real love is.
God is the lover of your soul and He is your first true lover! Any attempt to ignore Him is at your own peril to your eventual love life. Without Him, you will never be able to know how to love and how to be loved. Here are a few ways not to fall in love.
1. Don’t fall in love secretly.
I have said it many times; a godly relationship is not a secret cult. It is not a fraternity between two people. If you like yourself and you will like to protect yourself, heed my advice this day by the Spirit of God; don’t fall in love with a closed-up person.
Let your friends know about it. Let your Pastor know about it. The moment he or she insists that nobody should know, that should be a red light for you. Why hide something that is meant to be good news?
When I asked my wife out while we were students at Ogun State University (now Olabisi Onabanjo University) and she said ‘Yes,’ I announced to all that cared to listen! It was a joyful experience for me as a twenty-four-year-old chap!
I later got married at twenty-seven years of age some three years later in 1999.
Are you in a relationship where nobody knows except the two of you? Why would that be? The risks are high! The first sign of commitment in a relationship that is intended to lead to marriage is that the authority figures in your life will be involved. While this may not totally ensure the success of the relationship, it goes a long way to validate the relationship.
For those who are married, ensure that you are accountable to a particular authority figure for counsel and wisdom as you navigate the terrain of the marital journey.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will fall in love rightly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to get it right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t fall in love secretly
This is the concluding part of this series. If you missed any of the devotionals, go HERE
6. Deceptive Lovers
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious.
They are unapproachable and unreachable. Their self-deception becomes a wall that fences up their destinies.
But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Unforgiving Lovers
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker.
If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including the children defiled.
The way out! So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate.
Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home.
Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments.
They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
They would make wrong decisions that are not founded on God’s word and of course, those decisions would not endure. They can also lose money based on their sentimental investments.
Sticking to God’s principles is difficult for these kinds of couples. They are unable to set their faces like a flint. They easily compromise based on their sentimental leanings.
To them, everything can be compromised as long as it appeals to their emotions.
5. Angry Lovers
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
There were two brothers in the Bible who were both given to anger. Their story did not end well.
Simeon and Levi are brothers; tools of violence are their weapons. [6] Oh my soul, do not come into their secret. Let not my honor be united with their assembly. For in their anger they killed a man, and in their self-will they hamstrung a bull. – Gen 49:5-6 (MKJV)
Their father placed a curse on them as a result!
Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce, and their wrath, for it was cruel. I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel. – Gen 49:7 (AMPC)
That is where anger ends. Scattering! Division!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
The second group is made up of those who may be believers but whose minds are not renewed. The only thing is that they already have a relationship with God, but apart from that, they are still carnal.
They still do their stuff like unbelievers would do. They still want to have fun in forbidden areas and they still want to explore the perverse, which would often come with dire consequences.
My advice for couples in this group is that they seek help as soon as possible.
They don’t see anything wrong with pornography, masturbation, and sleeping with each other. They believe some grace will cover their habitual sexual sins.
They go to church and profess to be born again but their lifestyles and actions are an embarrassment to Christ that they profess.
A carnal brother will beat his wife and justify it with scriptures. A carnal sister will dabble into affairs, especially emotional affairs which may be taken to the next level.
Don’t walk down the aisle with a carnal believer. There will be too many things to manage to the point you would even wish you had married an unbeliever instead!
3. Unbelieving and believing Lovers
Here is another scenario that doesn’t always play out well, except with a lot of patience, prayers, and perseverance. I always advise singles, don’t think of getting married to someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God. It would always be filled with challenges that you might have to fight alone because you are not agreed with your choice of weapons.
You want to pray, but he or she thinks you are just being fanatical. That can be very disconcerting, to say the least. It is always a good combo when both are agreed and are going in the same direction in terms of belief systems and practices.
Your greatest influence is always your spouse. An unbeliever doesn’t see anything wrong in doing drugs, cheating, stealing, violence, and some other ills. How would all these be handled?
The believer who is married to an unbeliever and who cannot persevere or be patient or prayerful will end up frustrated and a loser in that relationship.
The believer can even end up in an adulterous mess in his or her bid to retaliate or get back at the unbelieving lover who is full of atrocities.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
There are couples that are sitting on a keg of powder
As singles and married couples, you are to deliberately work things out in your relationship or marriage and with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Here is what the scripture says:
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12 KJV)
In a relationship and or marriage, you are to work things out. A relationship or courtship does not lead to marriage automatically. You are to work things out in your disposition, attitude, and reactions.
A marriage does not just succeed; you are to work things out between yourselves.
Now there are some couple combinations that are sure to crack along the way. When you find yourself in these spots, you need to seek help prayerfully and with a lot of wisdom to address the lurking issues. Here are those combinations:
1. Unbelieving Lovers
Two people who are unbelievers may love themselves, may be committed to each other, but when the storms of life come, they will fight their battles alone and you know, some of those battles can be very fierce. They will not have God’s support since they don’t have a relationship with God. They will not have the benefit of sonship and it can be very intense!
They need to connect with God!
Do not fall in love with an unbeliever! The consequences may be debilitating.
Who will they consult in the day of trouble? They will try herbalists and the occult which would plunge them further into the abyss.
Their options are many but shallow. God is the unfathomable one in whom all possibilities lie. He is the merciful God that shields, protect, directs, instructs, heals, and does so many things. A life, marriage, and home devoid of God will dissipate into nothingness in no time.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
“Pray for God’s will. Pray for God’s perfect will for you. God’s perfect will is not always a Mr. Perfect!”
“What if he doesn’t look handsome enough?”
“What if he looks dashing and handsome and after the wedding, after you have fed him well, he departs from your definition of handsome and six-packs become amusement park? Will you divorce him?”
“So, how do I choose now?”
“First, know that God will never lead you wrong.”
“Secondly, it is only God that knows the one you will love now and will still love in another fifty years.”
“Thirdly, your brain is not designed to know the best spouse for you, Only God can help you decide who is the best person that is not only physically dashing but also spiritually prepared for your destiny.”
“Fourthly, stop looking for inadequacies, look out for God’s direction.”
“Fifthly, if he is born again and filled with the Holy Spirit, with no character flaws or habitual sins, the only thing that remains is God’s leading.”
“So, ask God to lead you. Ask him to help you. Ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is the helper. He knows the best for you.
“Wow!”
“Stop using your brain to judge!”
“What if God shows someone to me and he is not physically attractive?”
“God is intelligent. He is not an author of confusion. God is love and He will never lead you to someone you hate and loathe. On the contrary, it is your feelings that can deceive you that you are in love with someone that you will really hate tomorrow!”
“I understand now!
“So I could have missed my man?”
“Possibly, but all hope is not lost. You just need to get back in God, trust His direction and He will have mercy on you!“
“But in all of these, know that an unbeliever or a believer with habitual sins/character issues is a no-go-area.”
“Thanks, Joy! I’m blessed!”
“I pray that God will lead you indeed!”
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to the realities of life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 14:17 [KJV]For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
