In today’s devotional,we’re looking at how we as couples can respond to God’s training. Marriage is an institution, the first institution God created.
In institutions, we go to learn. In effect, marriage is a school, a major one at that.
It is probably the only institution where you get your certificate before the learning begins. On the wedding day, you get to receive your wedding certificate, and then the real school begins.
Especially as it concerns male and female differences, a lot of couples are in for a rude shock.
There will be mistakes that are done in marriage as a result of our opinions, as a result of habits, as a result of mindsets.
God in His wisdom, will start dislodging those mindsets through various circumstances and happenstances.
Your best bet will be to listen and learn from what God is trying to say.
For you to hear God and learn from the discipline, you need to have an understanding that God’s discipline is not punishment, but training.
When you see it as training, then the discipline of God becomes effective in your life.
See what the Bible says
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training,
Heb 12:6 – 7 (MSG)
I love what it says. The one that God loves is the one that He disciplines. And the Message Translation says God is simply educating you.
This education will advance your marriage and give you the needed lessons to move higher in your marriage.
Don’t drop out of it. Stay with it and learn all you can learn.
As you cooperate with God’s discipline as husband and wife, you will see your marriage get better in God and fulfilling God’s plan for you as a couple.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I respond well to God’s training
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for grace to receive the training with a humble heart.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Hebrews 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go through the training patiently
It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. The value of friendship is known in hard and tough times. Nothing is as soothing as when a friend speaks to you in your down moments. When his or her words are like cold water to a thirsty soul.
If the effect of a friend could be that felt, how much more is the effect of a spouse. Of course, our spouse is supposed to be our best friend with who we are vulnerable, with who we can share the joy and the privilege of being naked and not ashamed.
I think every spouse should ask themselves this question. “Am I a friend to my spouse?” “Can my spouse confidently say, he/she can find a friend in me?” “Does my spouse find me easy to talk with?”
Every spouse should ask these soul-searching questions and try to find answers to these questions.
It is easier to point accusing fingers at your spouse. Quit playing the blame game and face reality, walk and work together.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Amos 3:3 KJV
Come in agreement with each other. Forgive every hurt and pain. For marriage is where we hurt deeply.
Some spouses are so hurt they vowed never to forgive. If you have any knotty situation, talk things over with your mentors. Sometimes, the issues in marriage require the authority of someone higher than you. Just a word, a prayer or a prophetic utterance can solve such issues.
Some people have destroyed their marriage because of staying on their viewpoint of being right. In marriage, it is not always about who is right or wrong, but our willingness to allow God’s purpose to be done.
Jesus, our model didn’t insist on being right. He willingly suffered for us, the righteous for the unrighteous. He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us so we can be made sons of God.
The mandate on our marriage must be fulfilled. Let’s get over all forms of bitterness, malice, and unforgiveness. These are toxic to our being best of friends with our spouse.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 KJV
This scripture is very profound. You must show yourself friendly to have your spouse as your friend.
The question is some of us don’t even know to be friends. We must aim at being friends with our spouses. I believe the Holy Spirit, the spirit of truth and revelation will help us if we ask Him to.
Some ways to being friends with your spouse
1. Maintaining the right attitude and positive disposition is important. 2. Kind words and loving words. Every human being responds to love. 3. Believing the best of each other. 4. Being fun to be with. 5. Not pointing attention to the weak areas of your spouse. 6. Encouraging our spouse. 7. Avoiding criticism, accusation, and blaming. 8. Being very understanding.
These are few tips for being there for your spouse.
God help us indeed.
May God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be there for my spouse always.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:24 (CEV)Some friends don’t help, but a true friend is closer than your own family.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be friends with your spouse
Before we cantalk of keeping love ablaze, we have to talk of couples living true to their covenant responsibilities.
First, we should know that our marriages have certain mandate in the heart of God to fulfill.
And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. Malachi 2:13 – 15 MSG
Let’s see how the scripture goes in the Amplified version.
Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. Malachi 2:14 AMPC
So God takes our marriage vows seriously.
Our marriage vows is not just some cute words spoken on our wedding day, it is a promise before God and then to our spouse.
It is this understanding that will help us to see the reason why love must be kept ablaze.
It is a life long work. We have to keep at it at good times and not so good times.
A man of God said, and I quote, “In Covenant of marriage, get it right. Marriage is one area of vulnerability in the Covenant. Don’t allow the arrow of the enemy to pierce you there. Get it right. If the arrow of the enemy pierces you in marriage, you will be struggling to sustain the Covenant”.
If we don’t understand the covenant of marriage, the devil will cause alot of struggles for us in life. Love is not the only ingredient needed in marriage. It’s like cooking a meal. You need a combination of many ingredients in the right proportions, to make a good meal and the skills of the person cooking.
Let’s take a look at what love is from Gods view point
Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7 AMP
We need to remind ourselves often that we are called to love one another for God is love. We are born of God so we have Gods nature in us. We just have to be conscious of it and walk in it. We have to respond to the nature of God that we carry.
Our aim should be to love. The bible says we should love our enemies how much more our spouses. We are to consciously and intentionally love our spouse.
This is what we have been called to.
May God help us in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work in Jesus name.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us to do things that will draw us closer to each other.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Have you seen couples married for over 15 years? One thing that strikes you is that they begin to look alike. There’s just something that makes them closer and begins to look alike. Well, it’s not a fast and hard rule that couples who have been together for years should look alike.
I guess that is the reason why the bible says, the two shall become one flesh. I guess they truly become one flesh in the real sense of the word. The truth is that, if you want to remain close and knitted together, there are some things you should be doing on a regular basis. It keeps you together.
I would try and mention 10 of those things. You can add up to this list but just make sure in your own relationship you have found what it is that draws you closer to each other.
1. Eat together on one plate or on the dinner table. This may not be suitable for every couple. Some may not like it, but this has helped keep couples together.
2. Go to church together in the same car. It may be a time of bonding for couples who may have been busy throughout the week and have more than 1 car.
3. Go to the same church and have the same pastor and mentor. They hear and drink from the same spiritual source and hear the same instructions about fasting, giving which normally could cause discord in marriage.
4. Have same friends, go to the same functions and ceremonies together. Couples stay closer when they unwind together by having the same friends and attend parties together.
5. They sleep in the same room on the same bed. Couples are known to look alike the more they sleep together and share the same room.
6. They have regular intercourse together. This is known to bind them together and is the real thing that makes them get closer and look alike.
7. They Laugh, dance, sing and play games together. The more couples recreate together, the more the bond between them gets stronger.
8. They overcome their challenges together. When couples face problems and pass through challenging situations together, it draws them closer to each other.
9. When couples bathe together. It is a form of being naked and not ashamed, it draws couples together.
10. Study their bibles together and pray together. When couples do spiritual activities together they tend to grow fond of each other and grow to look alike.
It is like the triangle of marriage. God is at the tip or top, husband and wife are at the two sides. The more they go after God, the closer they become. The more they draw away from God, the more they grow apart.
Make God or godly principles your priority and you will grow closer as a couple.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY As couples, we grow closer as the day goes by.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us to do things that will draw us closer to each other.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 2:25 ‘And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.”
Its possible to enjoy your marriage. In marriage, there are pressures. Pressures of raising a family, of taking care of your spouse, of taking care of the children, of paying bills, and many more. All these are coupled with pressures from work and career. If one is not careful, marriage will be one strenuous, stressful and tiring adventure.
It is deliberately then, that you have to decide to live life to the fullest. You just have to make up your mind that in the midst of all the pressures, there will be pleasures. It is a decision to remain joyful irrespective of whatever situation you might be going through. You simply make up your mind to defuse pressures with laughter, for laughter doeth well like medicine
Pro 17:22 (MSG) A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.
Having a depressing disposition, unhappy tendencies, habitual despondency, uncontrollably bad moods are enough to leave the bones tired.
Since you have to cook anyway, why not decide to cook while enjoying yourself
Since you are going to wash the car, decide to wash while having a nice time.
Since the kids would always be around and going nowhere, enjoy yourselves and let them enjoy themselves too.
Doing things grumbling, complaining, and being unhappy in marriage is self-punishment. Decide to enjoy yourselves as a couple. Satisfy each other right into the bedroom!
I pray for your marriage, God will help you indeed in Jesus name. At every point of pressure, God will bring succor, His healing balm, and restore you in Jesus name.
Your marriage is blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to enjoy my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, take away every foolishness from our home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 1:9 (KJV)And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;
What do you do when things seem tough? There are times when everything just seems okay. Life is just good. You look at your bank account and smile. There are cars in the garage. The children are doing well, nice school. Your spouse is just so nice. The money keeps rolling into your account. No stress.
During weekends you have all the time with your family. During holidays, you and the family get to travel out of the country.
Your wife comes home on time, prepares a good meal. Your house is really yours and it is fine. It has all things set. The generator, fridge, freezer, microwave oven, dishwasher, washing machine, everything is set.
You look around and you are so grateful and fulfilled, not asking for anything. This looks like that perfect life everybody prays for. Everything is just working right. You have no prayer points except that God should bless your friends and neighbors.
Well, many of us are not there yet. In fact, many are still far from there. Many are at the stage where they are trusting God, praying to God for one thing or another, where they don’t have it all together. In fact, they are at the opposite of life is good.
At such times, one has to hold on, be patient, Be thankful and grateful, keep at what you know works, and give God praise. Be a God praiser. Of all the things that would have made you complain, praise God instead.
Turn it into a praise report. Let your voice be loud and clear in praises. It is when joy withers that prosperity and testimony withers.
When as a married couple, your home seems like nothing is happening. It’s time to turn on the volume of your praise and thanksgiving.
Jesus got to the tomb of Lazarus, he was met with an impossible situation. He gave thanks and rejoiced. In the feeding of the 4,000 where he only had a lad’s supper, he gave thanks.
When the going gets rough, it’s time to get to thanks and praise. You have enough to complain about. Things are not working but give thanks. When you give thanks, things will begin to open up and yield their abundance.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give thanks, no matter what happens.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let me see that despite every thing you can work a miracle of provision
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 4:19 (KJV) But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be thankful. Be praise-ful
This is the scripture I used in our OIL FOR TODAY prayer time, and when I asked my husband what to write on today, he just pointed out this scripture. I want you to pause and say this to yourself “God is restoring my dignity in marriage”
So I will be bringing out some salient points from this scripture.
I Sam2:8 MSG He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun! For the structures of earth are God ’s; he has laid out his operations on a firm foundation.
I will like to address the wives, using this portion of scripture. You can stand on it, meditate on it and pray it into your life. It is a promise you can claim.
God is able to restore dignity and respect to you as a wife.
In so many marriages, wives don’t have any dignity or respect. Their husbands treat them like they are of little value, (of cause to the detriment of the husband that does so).
The bible says male and female He created them and He blessed them.
God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, And, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.” God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.” Genesis 1:26 – 28 MSG
If you are born again, you are in the image and likeness of God. You reflect God. You are a piece of the Master, a masterpiece. Any husband that treats you less than that is abusing you as a wife
Every husband must seek to push their wives to be all that God created them to be. Your wife should become better, bigger, smarter, now that she is joined to you.
We see husbands pitting their wives down, talking down on them. God is restoring dignity and respect into your life and calling as a wife.
You are meant to be a helpmeet to your husband. No husband is better than his wife in the sight of God. But positionally, the husband is the head of the union. The wife stoops for him to take the lead because that is the order of God. That is what God recognizes and honors.
The husband and wife are co-laborers and joint-heirs with God. When God calls the man, he calls the woman too to assist him.
Some wives respect and dignity have been eroded. Their words are not respected. Their wisdom is not respected. They cannot advise. I feel one way to show respect to wives is to listen and trust God to always put His wisdom into their hearts.
When husbands maintain this attitude, it will even make the wives more sensitive in the Spirit because they will know that demand is been laid upon them by their husband to be spiritually sensitive.
I first heard this from Kenneth Hagin. As spiritual as he was, with several visions of Jesus Christ, he will always check with his wife before he takes any major step. I mean that is humility. Some husbands prefer to spend hours talking to some friends as against talking to their wives.
Whatever has taken away your dignity and respect in your marriage and home, God is restoring it in the mighty name of Jesus.
Restoring wealth is one major way God restore dignity and respect. Even the bible says the wisdom of the poor man was despised because of his poverty.
God will give wives voice and wealth. Mama Adejumo said not every wife can be slapped and sent packing, a husband is gentle when the wife brings in a 6 digit income every month.
I see God restoring every wives’ dignity and respect in Jesus mighty name.
Every wife should develop themself so much that before anything happens in the home, they know. Their words carry weight and God the Holy Spirit uses them.
As a wife, you cannot be respected if you still engage in lying, stealing, you have no integrity, et cetera. You have to exercise the fruit of the spirit as recorded in Gal 5:22
Let God fight and defend you. Hold your peace.
God bless our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is restoring honor and dignity to my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, restore unto me all that I have lost.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Sam 2:8 (CEV)You lift the poor and homeless out of the garbage dump and give them places of honor in royal palaces. You set the world on foundations, and they belong to you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘restoration’
We startedlooking at this all-important topic yesterday. “How to relate with in-laws without strife” We looked at 2 scenarios and we will look at more scenarios today.
It is impossible to deal with all possible scenarios but this is just to help you draw wisdom from them and know that you are not alone.
There are no custom-made problems. You just have to draw the needed wisdom and handle your own situation.
Scenario 3 Ronke’s mother-in-law is a good woman and she has heard a lot of good reports from her husband about how she single-handedly raised her son and sent him to the University against all odds. So, naturally, Ronke was happy when Tunji announced that mama was coming to spend the rest of her life with them in the city. Unknown to Ronke was that mama was very petty.
They were all excited to welcome mama to her new home and she loved it in the city. Mama would always express her view and air her opinion which Ronke didn’t mind until it was getting too much.
Ronke likes flowers and would always buy flowers for decorating the sitting room. Mama would ask how much she bought them and would complain that they were too expensive since it was not food. Mama would complain whenever Ronke went to the stores and came home with nylons of household needs. She would ask how much each item cost and Ronke would tell her only for mama to scream of wastage.
Tunji would always wake up early to prepare breakfast because the nature of her job is quite strenuous and need extra sleep to be refreshed of the next day’s job. This mama frowned at seriously and even took offense at.
In other for her son not to do this, mama will wake up early to prepare breakfast. During breakfast, mama would look at her with displeasure and this continued until Ronke decided to be eating out. Tunji noticed this and called his wife to order.
Mama too noticed and all the time something went wrong between mama and Ronke, mama would go inside her room and sob. This was getting on Ronke’s nerves and Tunji was in a dilemma.
What should be done?
To ask a parent-in-law to stay with you has a lot of disadvantages especially a long-term stay. Before they come, the husband and wife should be in agreement. The husband must promise to protect the wife. After much discussion, if there is no other option, she might come to stay, but not after all options have been exhausted. They might look at the option of sending money to her regularly, get her a house help etc
If she would eventually stay, the husband must always be ready to defend his wife at the slightest opportunity. She must not come in between them. She must be made to mind her business and know that this is her son’s matrimonial house.
The husband and wife must be very prayerful and patient to accept her and her excesses.
Scenario 4 Bode’s father-in-law is in a cult. At first, they didn’t know but just felt he was unnecessarily hard on Bode. He showed little or no compassion for them when they first got married and had financial crisis. He had the money but was not just disposed to helping them.
Bode first noticed that each time they took the children for a visit to see grandpa outside town, they will be down with fever. Each time he also comes visiting the same thing happens.
It was difficult for them to stop visiting. Kemi was not happy especially because it would mean not seeing her mother who was more than an angel to them. They also noticed that the father-in-law would always give the children money.
After such gift of money, they would notice a financial hardship at that period. This would last for a while and go after they have prayed. This went on for a while and this usually caused conflict between them.
What should be done?
They should reduce their visits and if confronted for not visiting, they should say they are very busy. They should minimize their visits to only important occasions and should not sleepover. The children should be protected and once given money, it should be given away.
The wife should find other means of communicating with her mum especially since she had been good to them.
The husband should be very prayerful, avoid quarrels with his wife and understand her sentiments. He should try and get his wife to his side on every decision.
They should both pray for divine intervention.
You will always find different situations in different homes. No two situations are exactly the same but may have similar situations. Follow through with wisdom, be patient, mature, and godly.
Remember, you too will be a parent-in-law someday. Every action is a seed.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I am wise as regards all in-law issues.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me your ways as regards my in-law issues
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his own wife.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to handle every in-law issues in your marriage with God’s wisdom
There are a lot of questionsabout in-laws that some of us might need answers to. An In-law issue is a very complicated one that one needs a lot of wisdom to address. You love your spouse very much, you don’t want to hurt or offend them, and yet there are issues with his/her parents.
They have been the ones taking care of your spouse before your spouse met you, so they cannot be wrong. They are flawless. They are saints, so does your spouse see them. How do you handle them in such a way that it doesn’t cause frictions? We will try and look into some of these issues.
Scenario 1 She grew up with her mum in Kaduna, who has been taking care of her ever since her dad traveled to South Africa when she was 12 years old. She is the firstborn and has been very close to her mum since then. Now she is married. Her mother does not understand that she is married. They live close to each other and their mum visits them every day. The husband is infuriated and irritated each time he sees her. She even passes the night and spends weeks with them.
Initially, she helps with the daughter. The husband complains a lot about this but the wife feels he is taking things too seriously. The wife, who is a Medical Doctor, is sure divided between her mum and her husband. Her time is divided, her attention, her finances, her care, she is divided in spirit, soul, and body.
Her mum will often take her time talking with her. She enters their room and she has no boundaries whatsoever. She gets on the husband’s nerve so much that they often have open confrontations. Instead of the mother seeing that she is intruding, she sees it as enemies not wanting her to stay with her daughter. The husband has instructed his wife a number of times about her mother but only falls on deaf ears. She claims ‘will I send my mother away?’
What should be done?
This is a clear case of over-familiarity. The bond between the mother and her daughter is so close, more so that she is more or less separated from her husband who has not been home for many years.
The husband should be patient and use a lot of wisdom while being firm. While they are looking for another accommodation far away from where the mother lives, the husband should try and reduce their dependency on her.
The husband should be very strict and put certain instructions and rules in place. The husband should also be very prayerful and very patient. No matter what, he should not allow himself to be provoked.
Scenario 2 The husband is the first born and lived with his parents before he got married. He was to get a house after the wedding but one week became six months.
The wife is not finding it funny but she tries her very best to be a good daughter in-law. The wife leaves her job as a Pharmacist in Abuja to stay with her husband in Ogun state where he leaves with his parents.
The wife doesn’t have a job yet in the new place and she is frustrated. They fight, quarrel and the husband concludes she’s not been patient enough. The husband’s job is not that stable so he doesn’t know whether he will settle in Ogun state, Abuja or outside the country.
The problem is with the mother in-law. She is so attached to the son. Her body language is that they should stay and keep living with them.She behaves like her son’s wife. She takes care of him, asks what he will eat as though the wife does not exist. She competes with the wife over him and for his attention
What should be done?
The husband has to try as much as possible and get a house in where he plans to settle down. Even if it is a room, he needs to take a drastic decision because it is obvious his wife is running out of patience. With that distance, they can reduce their proximity to the mother. They will still remain in touch through regular calls.
The wife should be full of prayers and very patient at this time not to do anything she will later regret. She should be calm and try harder to endure till it’s over.
They also need counsel and should be guided all the way.
Tomorrow, we will consider more scenarios and pick out lessons from them.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to handle all in-law issues.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, give me wisdom and discernment to handle all in law issues.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his own wife.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to handle every in-law issues in your marriage with God’s wisdom
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 2 Chronicles 28; 2 Kings 16-17
Today’s topic is very important, And I want you to give it rapt attention, “Don’t let joy wither from your marriage”. I know youare a perfectionist. You like to fix everything and everybody. You don’t like things out of order. You feel the compulsion to fix your spouse. They have to be in a certain way. Eat in a certain way, laugh a certain way, or talk in a certain way. Oga, free yourself! You are not the Holy Ghost. You cannot change anybody so don’t kill yourself trying.
You are sensitive. If things don’t go the way you want, your day or week is spoilt.
It is good to demand high standards from our spouse and children lest we become mediocre. We have to understand that we can only influence people to change.
Most of our frustrations in marriage is because we are trying too hard to fix our spouse. Don’t forget we are only privileged to be married to our spouse. They are as much individuals just as we are. They have their own opinions, view points, ideologies and standards.
Even your babies are individuals and must be treated with respect. We should respect the fact that they are separate entities. How much more should you respect your spouse!
If you become too forcy about trying to have things done your way, first you won’t get the best of your spouse. They will be living under your shadow, not expressing their individuality. Things will be boring around you. You want to force people to be and do exactly like you want?
Learn to be joyful. Be happy. Be someone with gladness all the time. Let your spouse be happy around you. Give room for expression of their individuality.
Don’t let joy wither from your home and marriage. Celebrate your wins. Celebrate small victories as though they are big wins and eventually the big wins will come.
Things dry up because you allow joy to dry up. Finances, testimonies, breakthrough are all a response to our joy.
The meat offering and the drink offering is cut off from the house of the Lord ; the priests, the Lord’s ministers, mourn. The field is wasted, the land mourneth; for the corn is wasted: the new wine is dried up, the oil languisheth. Be ye ashamed, O ye husbandmen; howl, O ye vinedressers, for the wheat and for the barley; because the harvest of the field is perished. The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the sons of men. Joel 1:9 – 12 KJV
Things dry up when we allow joy to dry up. Let nothing steal your joy.
As couples, consciously and intentionally make room for joy. Learn being cheerful. Practise it. It is a command from God.
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4 KJV
God won’t ask us to do what He knows we can’t do. He asked us to rejoice. It is not a suggestion. It is not based on our situation. The word is the same under favorable and unfavourable situations.
Rejoice in your home. Rejoice in your marriage. Rejoice ever more.
We have to consciously respond to the joy in our spirit. That joy is in us. It is in our recreated human spirit.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22 – 23 KJV
As a wife, the tempo and atmosphere of the marriage and home depends largely on you. So maintain your joy. If the devil cannot steal your joy he can’t have your goods. He can’t have your marriage. Your marriage and home belongs to God.
Whatever you are trusting God for, rejoice, celebrate and be thankful, sing songs of joy.
All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15 KJV
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am joyful always.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for the spirit of joy in your home.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4 KJV
One of the most difficult things to do is to try and maintain the spiritual glow now that you are married. Before marriage, my husband would read about 40 chapters of the bible, pray in tongues for hours and practice the presence of God. Apart from the fact that he is a pastor and must study and pray, all those times given to reading 40 chapters are no longer there.
When you are a married couple your time just seemed to be shared. It is no longer your time. The home is there, the kids are there to take care, responsibilities keep piling up and you just have your 24 hours in a day to maintain all that balance.
With maturity comes the ability to do a lot of things together at once, it is called multitasking.
As a mother, if you don’t know how to multitask, you have not yet started, especially if you are a career woman. If you have a job you do, I mean 8am to 6pm job like I used to do, and you don’t have a maid, and you have a ministry and God’s people to oversee, you had better know how to multitask, because multitasking is a must skill.
You have to learn to continually maintain the spiritual tempo not only of yourself but of the home. I am not there yet and I have to repent sometimes of not doing what I should be doing in terms of spiritual activities. I just come to terms that what has to be done must be done. So my daily reading of God’s word, my daily prayers, my daily confessions must be observed no matter what.
So, you must make a quality decision to make your spiritual glow a priority.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY We are strengthened
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Sa 22:33 (KJV) God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect.
I am continuingfrom where I stopped yesterday. We started on the topic how to experience fruitfulness is marriage
Now, in the natural, there is a God-ordained way for a woman to go before her womb will carry a child. There must be intercourse with a man. So if you want your womb to be fruitful here are 4 God-ordained way to go about it.
1. Have a relationship with God.
Here I don’t mean a casual church service relationship with God. I mean love Him, with the whole of your heart. Love him with your life. Decide to marry this gracious God. Seek after him. Be a God chaser. Go after him. Let your heart long for him. Reach out to know the God that so love you and have good plans for your destiny.
2. Have intercourse with God’s spirit.
Just like there is no conception without intercourse, there is no birthing of your glorious destiny without fellowshipping with the Spirit of God. Get filled with the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. Spend time with the Holy Spirit. You cannot be “gisting” with your friends all day long and expect a conception from the Holy Spirit. There are no postage conception, you have to be physically available.
3. Make God’s word your greatest treasure.
God’s word contains His mind and thoughts. Give attention to God’s word. His word has transforming powers. It changes us from one level of Glory to another.
4. Let your life be so full of thanksgiving and praise.
Let no evil come from your mouth except praises and thanksgiving. Learn it. Every mother had to learn the act of motherhood. You can adjust and learn to be a God praiser. Learn to be a gracious talker. Saying the great things God has promised you in His word rather than your present situation. If it looks like your life is barren, begin to prophesy to yourself, ‘ I am fruitful. My womb shall not be empty.’ And indeed, you shall indeed have what you say.
I pray for you once again, like every pregnant woman, who will carry her child till full term before delivery, you will carry your destiny to full term. You will not suffer an abortion of glory and destiny.
You will learn delayed gratification. You will learn to follow God all the way. You will enjoy the Grace of God over your life. Your life and destiny will be colourful and sweet. Your helpers of destiny will arise on your behalf. They will help you deliver your miracle child in Jesus name. Your womb will have fruits to show God’s faithfulness.
The womb of your marriage shall not know regrets in Jesus Name. Where there have been disappointment, there shall be restoration. Double for your trouble. Beauty for your ashes and songs of praise for your times of mourning. God will give Grace and Glory and no good thing will He with hold from you.
In your career, business and health, God will meet you at the point of your needs. He will order your steps and lead you in the way you should go with His eyes upon you. You will not be a misfired arrow in life in Jesus Name. May you major in the major and minor in the minor. May you continually choose that which is beneficial to you destiny.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am fruitful. I will conceive
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive the grace to be fruitful in all areas
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “You’re here to bear fruit, reproduce, lavish life on the Earth, live bountifully!”” (Gen 9:7, MSG)
This morning I prophesy to you, the womb of your life shall not be empty. Receive the power to experience fruitfulness in your marriage in the name of Jesus
This prayer is not just for married women only looking for the fruit of the womb but for every man and woman who wants to be fruitful, to multiply and to fulfill destiny in life. God abhors fruitlessness and you will see God in scriptures opening wombs and causing them to conceive and bear children.
I am persuaded this morning that if you are trusting God for your own miracle child, just hold on to God. He is ever faithful to do that which He has promised.
Every womb is destined to carry babies, that is God’s intention, so for the womb not to fulfill that purpose is an error. Now, your womb is that part of you that makes you function in the class of God.
Your womb is that God ordained part of you where you conceive God given ideas, where your brain child is nurtured and ready to be birthed. It is that part of you that connects you to divinity making you relevant and a celebrity on earth. Your womb is that place where the greatest miracle of all time takes place. It is a part of you God has access to, where you share in His ability to create.
Your womb shall not be barren or empty. God’s blessing and favor will come upon your life and you will accomplish all your heart desires. You will fulfill life and destiny. Your life will turn out beautiful. You will be celebrated and relevant in this life. Generations after you will refer to you.
You will reach the zenith of your life. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. Like Esau, you will not trade your glory for a morsel of bread. You will not offer your glory on the altar of pleasure.
So shall it be for you and yours.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am fruitful. I will conceive
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, I receive the grace to be fruitful in all areas
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
“You’re here to bear fruit, reproduce, lavish life on the Earth, live bountifully!”” (Gen 9:7, MSG)
Many of us have some unpleasant things going on in our marriages. We may have been praying for a long time for God to answer our prayers. We may be frustrated about God not answering our prayers.
I don’t know if you have been there before. A friend came to visit me and she told me when discussing that it’s a man’s world.
For wives, in our marriage, we always feel that way. We have to go through God in prayers for God to speak to our husbands before we have some of our desires. That is the process for every God-fearing woman to take when it comes to dealing with our husbands in marriage
There is a very powerful scripture that tells us that God is so concerned about us and had given us all things
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: Ephesians 1:3 KJV
God has blessed every man, woman, couple, boy, and girl with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places.
He has already blessed us with peace in our home, joy in our marriages, health in our bodies, soundness of mind, favor, material blessings, possessions, et cetera, all spiritual blessings.
These blessings are spiritual in nature and in heavenly places. You may ask why? It is because our God is a spirit and a spirit can only give spiritual blessings. The blessings are in heavenly places because that is the best place for them to be kept safe from Satan.
God gives us all things to richly enjoy. He gave us all things because we are the object of His love. God loves you so much. You have to receive and accept that by faith.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 KJV
God has already given us everything we need. All we have to do is receive them. Every believer must be a Receiver. Our faith does not change God. Our faith makes us receive all that God had for us.
God has His ATM of blessings. We have to learn to withdraw from it. The blessings are limitless. There is no boundaries, no limits.
The moment you believe you received, you have those things. Believe in your heart those things you desire are already yours. No doubts in your heart
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. James 1:5 – 7 KJV
Go ahead and receive your joy, peace, understanding, love, unity, oneness etc. Remember they are already yours.
Therefore let no man glory in men. For all things are yours; 1 Corinthians 3:21 KJV
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive all that God has for me
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: Ephesians 1:3 KJV
Imagine two love birdsintending to get married. They are so much in love. And then comes a time, when the parents of the bride wants to know where the intending groom lives, and as a consequence where their daughter will be domiciled.
And then he proudly leads them to his house, a makeshift shaft, tent-like material supported with tiny sticks which can collapse anytime.
Right there and then, the parents will change their mind.
Jesus spoke about a house built on sand and the other built on the rock. If you were to choose one, which will you choose?
In a deliberate manner, every couple must decide to build their marriage with Cedars and not just some fancy sticks that will give way to irreconcilable differences.
The scripture that inspired my write up today is found in
Son 1:17 (KJV) The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.
A cedar is pleasing to the eye and smell, hard, and never eaten by worms. It is combined habits and practices with which you build your marriage.
Never allow your marriage to be built with materials of carelessness, indecisiveness, mediocrity, laziness and visionless leadership.
Rather, surround yourselves with regularized prayer life, confession laden marriage, strife free zone, and a perpetual giving lifestyle.
These are what will birth cedars with which a great marriage is built.
Take communion regularly, don’t wait till Sunday. Be open to each other and be extremely honest, naked and not ashamed.
Let the husband love his wife as Christ love the church by laying down his life, and let the wife see that she honour her husband, giving him all the honour and respect that he deserves.
Let the love of God be shed abroad in your hearts, forgiving quickly and loving each other with God’s love.
Dear husband, dear wife, have a great and fulfilling day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is built with the right resources.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God for the builder’s wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Song 1:17 (AMP)The beams of our house are cedars, and our rafters and panels are cypresses or pines.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be deliberate about your building materials
So today, let’s ask ourselves what did God say about our marriage? Do we see anything in our marriage right now that is not meant to be so? Are there things in our marriage that are aberration to what God said in the beginning?
Hear what is written concerning you and your marriage from the beginning:
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:18 , 24 – 25 KJV
Let’s glean from the above scriptures what God said about my marriage and your marriage.
Before that which was written about our marriage can find expression in our lives, we need to give attention to the Word
My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Proverbs 4:20 KJV
We have to be able to see the Word, behold it and then handle it, before finding expression in our lives. Our marriage must be what God spoke it to be, Amen. Anything short of that is not acceptable.
The process of ‘Seeing’ the Word is also the process of faith.
That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands Have handled, of the Word of life; (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;) 1 John 1:1 – 2 KJV
There is a process of faith. The process of calling the things that be not as though they are.
You have to call your marriage blessed. Call it good. Declare my husband is amazing, but you have to ‘see’ it first.
Lessons from 1John 1:1
1. You have to hear the word first 2. See the Word working in your life and marriage 3. Behold it, conceive it, through meditation and declaration 4. Handle it by focusing on the word and having a clear vision of what the Word says. 5. The Word will manifest in your life, it will become flesh.
That’s the faith process.
God’s word concerning your marriage will be fulfilled in Jesus name. Your marriage will be what God says it will be. Keep declaring the word and it shall come to pass.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow the faith process.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to follow the faith process
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands Have handled, of the Word of life;
This is a particularstatement “In the beginning, it was not so” was declared by Jesus Christ our Lord, when He was asked if husbands could put away their wives, treat them anyhow, or not be compassionate to them.
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. Matthew 19:8 KJV
Jesus was and is qualified to talk about the beginning because He was there at the beginning of all things. He was there when the heavens and the earth were being formed.
He was there when the foundations of everything started. He was there with the father. He was there when God instituted marriage as a covenant. He was there when God spoke into man. He knew what God spoke to you and me. He was there. So He is qualified to answer this question the right way.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. John 1:1 – 5 KJV
He was there in the beginning. All things were made by Him. If this is so, then we need to listen to what He that was from the beginning has to say.
We will continue tomorrow by God grace.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I align my marriage to God’s original intention
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, restore my marriage to the original plan that you had for man in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. Matthew 19:8 KJV
God’s first wordsto Adam and all of humanity, encapsulated in the loins of Adam is “Be Fruitful!” How encouraging and strengthening that is!
Let your imagination run free! Adam, in his huge frame stood before the Almighty! God in his divinely amplified voice, (I guess it will be loud and soothing at the same time) massively reverberating to the very core of Eden, proclaimed over Adam and in effect over you and I “Be Fruitful!
Hey! Your marriage is blessed! Irrespective of the antics and attacks of the enemy of our soul, God’s voice is a resolute and firm. It’s a mandate of Fruitfulness!
You know what I am excited about? It’s the unchangeability of His words and voice! His voce never changes!
Gen 1:28 (MKJV) And God blessed them. And God said to them, BE FRUITFUL, and multiply and fill the earth, and subdue it. And have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the heavens, and all animals that move upon the earth.
Nothing less. In terms of finances, fruit of the womb, job opportunities, career, job, health, the list is endless, the mandate is fruitfulness.
Do not allow the devil to negotiate you out of this blessing. Oh, yeah, that’s his tool of trade! You must be resolute, believing and trusting about what God said about you!
I pray for you this day, fruitfulness in every area of your marriage in Jesus name! We come against every plan of the devil and we cancel and nullify them in Jesus name!
So shall it be for you and your family in Jesus name!
Don’t forget to join us daily for a daily Encounter in prayer on “Oil For Today” by 5.30am on Mixlr (khcglobal) and on Instagram (pastordunamis). If you miss that time, we are still live daily on YouTube by 6.00am (Dunamis Tunde Okunowo)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will fulfill the mandate of God over my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to fulfill the mandate
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 1:27 (MKJV) And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him. He created THEM male and female.
In today’s devotionalwe are looking at loving your spouse with the original plan. We sit at the feet of our master, Jesus this morning as we glean directly from His words and bring light to dark areas of our marriage.
Mat 19:7-8 (MSG) They shot back in rebuttal, “If that’s so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?” [8] Jesus said, “Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan.
The reality sets in. Whatever you see in your marriage, is not to be swallowed hook, line and sinker. The question, like a powerful beam light, must be shone upon that situation with all intensity;
Is this part of the original plan?
Before you accept that situation as part of the norm, or as your cross to carry and as something you must live with, can we ask that question again and again?
Is it part of that God’s original plan? Is this what God has in mind for me? Could the situation I am in with my spouse be what God wanted? How do you even know what God wanted for you?
God will not tempt you with evil. God will not punish you. God will not bring you an irresponsible spouse or someone that brings you heartache all day.
Whatever does not look like God’s original plan must be refused with every fibre of your being. It must be refuted and resisted.
Don’t ever allow the devil to push you into accepting what doesn’t not belong to you.
This is why you should be conversant with His word and know what He wants for you. It is now what you want that must be enforced.
What is not in the original plan should be rejected. No wonder the Bible says:
Mat 7:19 (GNB) And any tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown in the fire.
Every tree God has not planted, that is not in His original plan for you is uprooted in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse every wrong trend in my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, show me the original plan you had for my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 7:19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go back to the bible and search for the original plan.
The messageof faith is fast giving way to other popular messages especially now. I think in my own opinion that we heard more ‘how to live by faith’ messages than we do now, yet, it comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God.
As a single lady when I was in the university, we were taught how to trust and believe God for stuff. Then we listened to Papa Kenneth Hagin, the Copelands, Creflo and Taffi Dollars, Jerry Savel, Jesse Duplantis, Bishop Oyedepo, and a host of others. We saw living by faith as a necessity and we had no options but to do so.
It seems to me that as we got married and life began to happen to us, we allowed the message of faith to slip by. We are now working-class people, so we don’t believe God for stuff as much as we did before. We simply wait for the next paycheck.
When we feel symptoms in our bodies, we simply notify our HMO, and we get free access to health care. We even feel it is our right to use the hospital since it is deducted from our salaries. The problem is that we are gradually losing our cutting edge in exercising our faith.
As believers, whether we are singles or working-class we need to exercise our faith daily.
For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. Romans 1:17 KJV
To live a righteous life, to live victorious over fear, diseases, attacks of the enemy and much more, requires faith.
We can never graduate from the school of faith. That is how we live. That is how we exist. That is how we get answers to our prayers. There are some issues that will happen in marriage that your way to experience victory will be only when you learn to exercise it.
For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Mark 11:23 KJV
Let’s look at this scripture well. We will see that process. Whether you are believing God for babies, contract, prosperity, or general wellbeing, the process of faith must be completed.
Let me analyse the process here.
1. You must speak to your mountain. Don’t speak about it, speak to it. Address it because you have authority.
2. Speak and give direction to the mountain.
3. Don’t allow doubt in your heart.
4. Believe that you have what you SAY.
5. Then, You will have what you say.
6. Thank God in advance. The faith process is not complete until you thank God by faith for your answers.
The big question is, what are you saying about the situation you are trusting God to see changes? Do you pray, declare God’s word, and then begin to worry?
It’s time as believers to begin to exercise our faith against the attacks of the enemy. Any issue the enemy brings our way is an attack on it. We can deal with the enemy by exercising it.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16 KJV
With our shield of faith, we quench every fiery darts the wicked one throws at us.
When we have issues in our marriage, issues with our spouse, our in-laws, it is not the person that is the issue. It is the wicked one stirring up issues to steal your joy, peace, prosperity, and health. Rise up in the authority of the Lord and hold up the shield of faith against the fiery darts of the wicked one.
God bless your marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My faith process is strong.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help my unbelief.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start believing God for the supernatural
