Becoming the Right Person

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We spend a lot of time praying for the “right person” to come our way, but how often do we ask God to make us the right person ourselves? We have long lists of qualities we want in a life partner, but are we becoming someone who embodies those same qualities?

Finding the right person is only one part of a godly relationship; the other is becoming the kind of person who can sustain it. Instead of worrying about when you’ll meet your future spouse, see this season of singleness as an opportunity for God to shape you into the best version of yourself,  spiritually, emotionally, and in every area of life.

How to become the right person:

1. Build a Strong Relationship with God

Before you pursue a relationship, your first priority should be deepening your relationship with God. The truth is, no one can complete you or fill a void that only God was meant to fill.

Have you ever had this thought that “If only I had a relationship, I would be happier”? This is a lie the world tells us. True fulfillment comes from knowing God first. A relationship should complement your life, not complete it because in Christ you are already complete.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  Matthew 6:33 (ESV)

The more you invest in your relationship with God, the more you become the person He created you to be, and the more prepared you’ll be for the right relationship when the time comes.

2. Let God Shape Your Character

To be very honest, no one enters a relationship as a flawless, perfectly put-together person. We all have our struggles, habits, and past wounds that, if left unchecked, can spill over into our relationships. The problem isn’t having flaws, it’s refusing to let God work on them.

A relationship won’t fix insecurity. Marriage won’t heal emotional wounds. A godly partner won’t erase unhealthy patterns. Only God can transform you from the inside out. Instead of waiting for someone to “complete” you, allow God to refine you.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (ESV).

God isn’t asking for perfection, He’s asking for willingness. So, instead of just praying for the right person, pray that “Lord, make me into the person You’ve called me to be.”

3. Grow in Emotional Maturity

Love is more than just an emotion. When things are going well, it’s simple to feel in love, but true love isn’t about fleeting feelings. Love is a choice, a daily decision to be kind, patient, and dedicated even when things aren’t going well

Strong relationships need maturity, self-control, and sacrifice. Feelings alone will not get you through disagreements, or misunderstandings. That’s where commitment comes into play, the determination to stick around, the intentionality to work through problems, and keep choosing the other person.

Maturity is that you know how to apologize, take responsibility, and handle your emotions in a healthy way. It means you’re prepared for love beyond the honeymoon phase, the kind of love that mirrors Christ’s love for us which is unconditional.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)

4. Build yourself

A relationship isn’t some shortcut to wholeness. If you’re not making progress now, marriage won’t magically fix it. So instead of waiting, start building.              

“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.” (Proverbs 24:27, ESV)

Before stepping into love, take time to build yourself first. Build your career, and skills, and pursue your goals. your purpose isn’t on hold until marriage. Make progress, develop your gifts, and embrace the season you’re in. In this way, you’re not just waiting for the right person, but becoming the right person.

Conclusion

This season of singleness isn’t a waiting room, it’s an opportunity. So embrace it, grow through it, and trust that when the time is right, God will align you with the right person. Until then, keep becoming the best version of yourself in Christ!