Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Yesterday, we considered why love feels heavy. If you missed yesterday’s article, you can read it HERE.
Today, we will take a step further to look at practical things to do when love feels heavy.
1. Don’t fake peace. Be honest with God.
You don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. God already knows how you feel. Share with Him where it hurts and what’s wearing you out. There’s no healing in pretending.
2. Pause, don’t panic.
Feeling pressure doesn’t always mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. Take a moment to reflect. What’s really bothering you? Is it something they did? An unresolved issue within yourself? Or maybe it’s the fear of losing control? Slow down and pinpoint what’s really going on before you misinterpret it.
3. Anchor your peace in God, not the relationship.
You love them, but they aren’t your source of happiness. If your mood hinges on how they treat you, you’ll always feel unstable. You weren’t designed to base your emotional balance on another person. Only God can carry that weight.
4. Ask God for wisdom before you act.
Not knowing what to say or do next is perfectly fine. When you’re confused, take it to God. Ask Him, “Lord, what’s the right thing to do here? Help me respond rather than react.” He promised to provide wisdom to those who seek it (James 1:5). Lean on that promise.
Conclusion
The pressure you’re feeling right now doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or that you’re messing it all up. It might just mean that you’re being refined and that God is teaching you how to love better. You could very well be growing out of emotional immaturity. You’re learning to stay grounded even when your partner isn’t perfect.
So you might feel pressed, but you’re not crushed. Because God isn’t just watching your relationship; He’s in it with you. Supporting you, guiding you, helping you grow, and loving you first so that you can love well.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
There are days when love feels like a lot to handle. Not because your feelings have changed, but because you’re tired. You’re putting in the effort, showing up, trying to communicate, praying, overthinking, making adjustments, and still, there’s this tension. Something feels off, and you can feel it.
This part is not often talked about. When you’re trying to love someone the right way, it stretches you thin. It’s not about a big disagreement or some obvious issue; it’s the emotional toll of striving to be consistent, patient, forgiving, and open all at once. It can start to feel overwhelming.
That’s why this scripture resonates with me so well, it says;
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.” — 2 Corinthians 4:8 (NIV)
Paul wasn’t necessarily addressing relationships here, but this verse really speaks to them. Love can sometimes feel like a heavy load. When you love someone, especially in a way that reflects God’s heart, it will expand what you can handle. And every now and then, it makes you wonder what’s really going on.
So Why Does It Feel This Heavy?
Here are three reasons love feels heavy, even when it’s genuine:
1. God uses love to grow you.
It sounds good in theory, but in real life, it means you’re going to be stretched. To love someone well, you need patience, self-control, humility, and forgiveness, and those qualities don’t just appear out of the blue. They develop through struggles. True love will expose parts of you that might still be selfish, reactive, insecure, or scared. That’s not a failure but a sign of growth.
2. You’re carrying more than just the present.
Often, the pressure isn’t solely about what’s going on right now. It can stir up past experiences. Maybe it’s a fear of being hurt again or a response to something traumatic. Perhaps your need for control is rearing its head. So, the pressure isn’t just emotional, it’s layered.
3. You’re trying to love from your own strength.
We tend to do this more than we realize. When you try to love without refreshing your spirit through God, you often end up feeling drained. What starts as effort can morph into resentment. Care becomes anxiety, and soon your relationship feels more like a burden than a joy.
Tomorrow, I will tell you what to do when love feels heavy. Don’t miss it.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
You know how it feels to think, “This time is different,” only to have it turn out exactly like the last time? Different person, same cycle. You begin with optimism. They look promising. They make the appropriate statements. However, the warning signs appear later on. You feel drained and confused. You begin to wonder once more, asking yourself why you keep ending up here.
Now let’s be honest. It is not that you do not know better. It is not that you are desperate. But if you look closely, you will probably notice a pattern. You keep falling for people who do not choose you the way you deserve to be chosen. People who take from you more than they give. People who feel good in the moment but never bring you peace. And when it keeps happening, you wonder if the problem is you.
Sometimes, it is not that you want the wrong thing. Something deep inside you still responds to what is familiar, not what is healthy. For example, if you grew up never feeling emotionally safe, chaos might feel normal to you. If you never felt seen or affirmed, attention from anyone—even the wrong one—feels like love. And without knowing it, your wounds start picking for you. You are not choosing from a place of wholeness; you are choosing from a place of lack.
Breaking the Pattern in Relationships
There are also spiritual parts to this. Sometimes, the reason the same kind of hurt keeps coming back is because there are still doors open. It might be a soul tie, even if the relationship was not sexual. You gave someone access to your heart, and they still have influence over how you see love. Or maybe you made a quiet vow in your heart after being hurt—something like, “I will never need anybody” or “Love never stays”—and now you unknowingly live from that place. Those things do not just go away on their own. You have to bring them to God and let Him break them off your life.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
Now, here is what to do. First, slow down and ask the hard question: “What in me keeps being drawn to what keeps breaking me?” That question is not about shame—it is about self-awareness. Until you understand the root of your patterns, you will keep blaming the people, but never actually heal. Second, you need to take back your heart from past connections. You do not need a special service or anointing for this. Just sit with God and say it clearly: “God, I give back to you every part of my heart that I gave away. I break every emotional and spiritual tie in Jesus’ name.” Say it even if you do not feel different yet. Freedom starts with obedience, not feelings.
Also, maybe it is time to quit relationships or stop dating while you are still starving for love. A starving heart cannot choose well. Everything looks like a meal when you are hungry. Take time to be with God. Let Him retrain your heart. Learn to recognize what peace feels like. Learn to recognize what healthy love looks like. Just because someone gives you butterflies does not mean they are from God. Peace is not boring. Peace is safe.
Lastly, be honest about your “type.” If your type keeps breaking you, maybe it is time to let God change your taste. You do not need someone who keeps you on edge. You need someone who keeps you grounded. But until you believe that you deserve more, you will keep accepting less.
This is not about getting it perfect. It is about getting honest. God is not mad at you for how many times this has happened. But He is inviting you to pause, reflect, and let Him heal the reason you keep ending up here. You do not have to keep repeating this cycle. You are not too far gone. You are not too damaged. You can learn a new rhythm. And when your heart is healed, your choices will start to look different, too.
Disappointment has a way of lingering. Sometimes you can feel it right there, heavy and obvious. Other times, it just quietly follows you around, sitting somewhere in your chest, showing up how you hesitate, second-guess, and hold back. And when it is time to trust again, whether it is God, someone else, or even yourself, it can feel like you are being asked to jump with your eyes closed.
You might not feel angry anymore. Maybe you’re just careful, a little guarded. You’ve learned to keep moving forward on the outside, but deep down, the weight of what hurt you is still there. It’s not bitterness, it’s just being careful.
And here’s what matters: God gets it.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
He isn’t rushing you. He isn’t frustrated with you for being slow to trust. God isn’t standing far off, waiting for you to “get over it.” Psalm 34:18 reminds us that God draws close to us when we’re hurting. He sees the part of you that still aches, still wonders, still hopes, yet is afraid to hope all the way.
So, how do you even begin to trust again? It doesn’t happen all at once; it’s not by pretending that you are fine or by ignoring what happened. It starts by letting God into those broken places, and letting Him show you that He is still steady even when life isn’t.
1. Be honest with God.
Tell Him the whole truth not just what sounds good. Be real about how it changed you, about what you still don’t understand. Trust actually starts with honesty, and God is the safest place for it.
2. Separate God from what happened.
Disappointment can make us wonder if God let us down, or if we can even trust ourselves anymore. But sometimes, things just don’t work out, and it’s not a sign that God failed. He’s still trustworthy, even when the outcome is not what you wanted.
3. Let trust be something you practice.
It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Sometimes, trust is just making small choices—praying again, hoping again, showing up, even if you’re still a little scared. Trust grows slowly, with repetition.
4. Remember that healing and answers don’t always show up together.
You may not get all the answers you want, but you can still find peace. Sometimes healing is found in letting go of what you can’t figure out, and letting God carry that weight for you.
If you’re still carrying disappointment, remember this:
You are not too broken to trust again.
Being hurt doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human.
God is still with you.
You can trust again, slowly, fully, deeply, because your safety is in Him, not in any outcome.
There are moments in one’s life where nothing is obviously wrong, but everything feels… off. You’re not making reckless choices; you’re showing up, doing your best, and staying faithful. Yet, somehow, beneath all that, something just feels unsettled.
One day you’re steady, the next you’re overwhelmed. Yesterday you felt confident in what God told you, today you’re second-guessing everything. It’s not that you don’t have faith—it’s just that things are shifting, and you notice it.
“I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” – Psalm 16:8 (NIV)
The bible didn’t necessarily promise a quick fix. What it gives us is something solid to hold onto. David didn’t say, “I won’t be shaken because everything’s going my way.” He says, “I have set the Lord always before me.” That’s a deliberate choice, not just a passing feeling. He’s saying, “God, You’re my focus. You’re at the center.”
It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about not letting God fade into the background. Where you set your attention shapes the way you see and respond to everything else.
And don’t skip the second part of the verse: “Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” That right-hand place means God is close—He’s not distant or detached. He’s right beside you, present, ready to keep you steady when life feels off-balance.
That awareness changes everything. Instead of reacting to every emotion or thought, you can pause, reset and not because you have all the answers, but because you know who’s holding your hand.
So, what can you do when life feels a little unsteady?
1. Refocus your attention. Ask yourself honestly: “What have I been putting in front of me lately?” If it’s stress, pressure, or distractions, no wonder you feel unsteady. Look to Jesus—not just because it’s the “right thing to do,” but because it’s what truly works.
2. Slow your pace. We put so much pressure on ourselves to fix everything—fast. But often, feeling shaky comes from moving too quickly. Whether you’re making decisions or just trying to get through the week, pause. Invite God into the space your hurry wants to fill. Clarity usually comes in the quiet, not in the rush.
3. Go back to what God already told you. When life feels unsteady, it’s tempting to look for something new—a new word, a new sign. But revisit what God has already said. He doesn’t change His mind just because you’re having a rough week.
4. Let truth lead, not your emotions. It’s okay to feel deeply. But you don’t have to let feelings run your decisions. Let God’s truth guide you, even when your heart feels loud or uncertain.
Let this sink in: You’re not unstable—you’re just learning to stay grounded. God isn’t far away. He’s close enough to steady you. You don’t have to answer every doubt or fear. Just stay anchored to Him. If God is before you and beside you, you can never fall apart—even if life feels a little unsteady right now.
