How do you know who is truly right for you? With so many voices from family, friends, culture, and even your own emotions, it can be hard to tell the difference between a good option and God’s best. The truth is, not every good person is God’s person for you.
Someone can check all the boxes on paper, but they still may not be the right fit for your purpose. That’s why discernment is so important. It’s not just about what you want, it’s about seeking God’s wisdom and letting Him guide your heart.
What a Relationship from God looks like:
1. It Aligns with God’s Word
God will never bring someone into your life who pulls you away from Him. If a relationship is leading you to compromise your faith, walk in disobedience, or put someone else before God, then it’s not His best. A godly relationship should strengthen your faith, not weaken it.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
2. It Brings Peace, Not Confusion
You may not have all the answers when something is from God, but you will have peace. This doesn’t mean the relationship will be perfect, but it won’t leave you in constant anxiety or emotional chaos.
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33)
3. It’s Rooted in Purpose, Not Just Feelings
Being attracted to your partner is great, but that isn’t enough to sustain a godly relationship. God’s best for you is someone who aligns with your purpose and encourages your growth. A person can be kind, loving, and even a Christian, but if they don’t align with what God has called you to do, they may not be the one.
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
We spend a lot of time praying for the “right person” to come our way, but how often do we ask God to make us the right person ourselves? We have long lists of qualities we want in a life partner, but are we becoming someone who embodies those same qualities?
Finding the right person is only one part of a godly relationship; the other is becoming the kind of person who can sustain it. Instead of worrying about when you’ll meet your future spouse, see this season of singleness as an opportunity for God to shape you into the best version of yourself, spiritually, emotionally, and in every area of life.
How to become the right person:
1. Build a Strong Relationship with God
Before you pursue a relationship, your first priority should be deepening your relationship with God. The truth is, no one can complete you or fill a void that only God was meant to fill.
Have you ever had this thought that “If only I had a relationship, I would be happier”? This is a lie the world tells us. True fulfillment comes from knowing God first. A relationship should complement your life, not complete it because in Christ you are already complete.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
The more you invest in your relationship with God, the more you become the person He created you to be, and the more prepared you’ll be for the right relationship when the time comes.
2. Let God Shape Your Character
To be very honest, no one enters a relationship as a flawless, perfectly put-together person. We all have our struggles, habits, and past wounds that, if left unchecked, can spill over into our relationships. The problem isn’t having flaws, it’s refusing to let God work on them.
A relationship won’t fix insecurity. Marriage won’t heal emotional wounds. A godly partner won’t erase unhealthy patterns. Only God can transform you from the inside out. Instead of waiting for someone to “complete” you, allow God to refine you.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (ESV).
God isn’t asking for perfection, He’s asking for willingness. So, instead of just praying for the right person, pray that “Lord, make me into the person You’ve called me to be.”
3. Grow in Emotional Maturity
Love is more than just an emotion. When things are going well, it’s simple to feel in love, but true love isn’t about fleeting feelings. Love is a choice, a daily decision to be kind, patient, and dedicated even when things aren’t going well
Strong relationships need maturity, self-control, and sacrifice. Feelings alone will not get you through disagreements, or misunderstandings. That’s where commitment comes into play, the determination to stick around, the intentionality to work through problems, and keep choosing the other person.
Maturity is that you know how to apologize, take responsibility, and handle your emotions in a healthy way. It means you’re prepared for love beyond the honeymoon phase, the kind of love that mirrors Christ’s love for us which is unconditional.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)
4. Build yourself
A relationship isn’t some shortcut to wholeness. If you’re not making progress now, marriage won’t magically fix it. So instead of waiting, start building.
“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.” (Proverbs 24:27, ESV)
Before stepping into love, take time to build yourself first. Build your career, and skills, and pursue your goals. your purpose isn’t on hold until marriage. Make progress, develop your gifts, and embrace the season you’re in. In this way, you’re not just waiting for the right person, but becoming the right person.
Conclusion
This season of singleness isn’t a waiting room, it’s an opportunity. So embrace it, grow through it, and trust that when the time is right, God will align you with the right person. Until then, keep becoming the best version of yourself in Christ!
Waiting is never easy. Whether you’re waiting for a job, a breakthrough, the right person, or even clarity on what to do next, it can feel really exhausting. You pray, hope, and wonder when things will finally change. But here’s the truth: God’s goodness isn’t on pause just because you’re in a waiting season. He didn’t bring you this far to just leave you, you are never alone, He’s still with you. He is just as faithful in the process as He is in the promise.
Lamentations 3:25 – The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.
If you’re single and waiting for the right person, it’s easy to feel discouraged, wonder if God sees your desire, or even be tempted to compromise. In this season, the waiting can feel endless and uncertain. But your waiting isn’t wasted. It’s the place where God is shaping you, preparing you, and strengthening your trust in Him. What may feel like a delay is often His way of protecting you or getting you ready for something far better than you can imagine.
The truth is, you can’t rush God’s timing.
Though it may tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3.
If it’s not the appointed time, no amount of force will make it happen, but when the time is right, nothing can stop it. As Isaiah 60:22 says, “I am the Lord; in its time I will do this swiftly.”
So don’t give up in the waiting. Don’t force what isn’t ready. Keep trusting, keep growing, and keep believing because when God moves, it will be worth every moment you waited and more!
The victory of the Cross is not a one-time event but a daily reality for every believer. The scripture reminds us that God’s divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life.
2 Peter 1:3 (NIV) – His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.
To consistently enjoy this victory, we must embrace two fundamental principles:
1. Knowing Who You Are in Christ
Before we can truly celebrate the victory of the Cross, we need to understand our identity in Christ. This revelational knowledge is the key that unlocks our freedom. When you grasp that you are loved, redeemed, and empowered by God, every life’s battle becomes an opportunity to live out that truth.
In our marriages and relationships, this truth comes into play. Instead of seeking approval or validation solely from one another, we learn to ground our worth in who we are in Christ. This mutual understanding transforms conflict into growth and challenges into stepping stones toward a deeper, more resilient love. Just as the Word nourishes our spirit, a clear knowledge of who we are in Christ becomes the sustenance for every aspect of our lives.
2. Faith
Faith is essential to experiencing God’s victory. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith, it is impossible to please God. Our belief in His promises like Romans 8:32, which reminds us that He gave His only Son for us builds an unshakeable foundation. Faith is the anchor that holds us steady when life’s storms arise.
Consider the simple yet crucial question: “What are you feeding your mind?” The thoughts we nurture shape our identity and our destiny. In every relationship and marriage, feeding our minds with the truth of God’s Word and meditating on the scriptures, enables us to overcome difficulties with confidence. Even when challenges seem impossible, faith assures us that Christ has overcome the world.
Victory in Christ isn’t about never facing struggles. It’s about knowing that no matter what comes your way, you’ve already won through Christ. Life will test you in every way possible but don’t lose sight of what the cross secured for you. See yourself with the lens of the cross!
Stop picking up what God has already taken away. It could be fear, doubt, or past mistakes. Keep feeding your mind with His truth, trust His timing, and hold onto faith even when things don’t look like they’re changing.
God’s victory should be your everyday reality. Live in it, walk in it, and never let life convince you otherwise.
There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death.” Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)
Have you ever been in a relationship where everything seems to be okay on the surface, but there is just this little voice inside you that says something is not right? Maybe you have been in it for so long, that everything is going smoothly, and you stopped questioning it.
Have you asked yourself; Is this the person God has for me? It’s so easy to get into the flow and move with it.
A biblical account that beautifully illustrated how God’s choice often defies human expectation was when Samuel thought Eliab was the perfect choice for a king because he had the look, the stature, and the presence. But God saw differently: “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
This story reminds us that good is not always God’s best. Like Samuel, we must learn to trust God’s wisdom over our perceptions. Instead of making decisions based on what seems right, we should seek God’s guidance, knowing that His choice will always be greater than our expectations.
Life has a way of presenting us with this picture-perfect view of choices to make in life. Sometimes, in relationships, friendships, or even career paths, we meet people who often seem to be everything that we would have prayed for: kind, loving, responsible, and even God-fearing. But then, as time unfolds, we really get to find out that just because they are a good person does not make them the right person. The difference is found in the divine alignment.
A good person can have great qualities, but the right person is someone God has specifically aligned with your destiny. The right person won’t just make you happy, they will help you grow into the person God has called you to be (Jeremiah 29:11).
Sometimes, we get caught up in our own checklist of what we think we need, but God’s plan is always bigger and better than our expectations. A good person may be kind and loving, but if they’re not meant to walk your journey with you, they could slow you down instead of helping you move forward. Perhaps the clearest sign of all, while a good person may seem perfect on paper, the right person will bring a deep, unshakable peace in your spirit that only God can give (Colossians 3:15).
Good isn’t always God. Just because something looks perfect doesn’t mean it’s meant for you. What seems right in your eyes may not be what’s best for your future. Instead of chasing what looks good, seek what is God-ordained. Pray, listen, and trust His leading because His choice is always better than yours.
