As sister Sube walked down the road, her mind was stormy and depressed. This is in contrast with the calm and unusual tranquil weather. Without was so peaceful, but within were rumblings of the murky waters of despondency!
Every step she took down the road was punctuated with deep-seated sighs. What is her problem? She feels something is wrong with her because nobody is proposing to her and age is no longer on her side!
On the other hand, Brother Zerubabbel too is so worried that he is almost bending over. What is his problem? Brother Zeru is angry with all the so-called sisters because he has proposed to thirteen sisters in the same church and each of them gave him a nail.
The nails, sorry, the spikes were so painful. It was as if the sisters all had a meeting on him, actually, they did.
The above scenarios are issues that bother on cultivating friendship the right and healthy way.
Never forget that how to get a friend is more important than how to get a lover. Lovers don’t drop from the sky; they are made from friendship as the foundation.
Loving is a process that should start with friendship. Don’t fall in love with someone who is not your friend. It is not advisable to toe the line of ‘love at first sight.’ Why? You can only love who you know! You might have some body chemistry at first sight, but certainly, it is not falling in love like we normally allude.
Love is a spiritual entity that happens not just in the intellectual realm but in the emotional and spiritual realms as well. When you have a one–night stand with a stranger, it is nothing but lust and lack of discipline. You don’t even know the person and yet the moment you are sexually involved, your histories become intertwined, afflictions and demonic influences are exchanged and dangerous habits creep into your life after such reckless sexual encounters.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
We started this instructive devotional yesterday. If we will be successful, get it right and gain speed in 2022, we need to take these points seriously.
Not striving to be super couples only slows us down. We move in circles and we achieve very little. Whereas, God’s intention for us is to multiply grace and do ten times our normal capacity.
We looked at the following yesterday:
1. Worship 2. Understand your spouse 3. Excellence
Today, we will continue from where we stopped.
4. Forgiveness
If you can’t forgive, don’t bother getting married. Forgiving in marriage is a compulsory course. You only slow yourselves down if you find it difficult to forgive.
Some couples hold their spouse and refuse to forgive because they feel their spouse doesn’t deserve the luxury of their forgiveness. They want to hold on to wrong because they feel they are punishing their spouse.
How humorous that is. I have always said it. Not forgiving is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. You cannot afford it.
Be like a duck that water doesn’t stay on its back. Let nonforgiveness fall off your back like a duck.
Deal with every form of hurt, malice, bitterness, strife et cetera. These are Satan’s most common arsenal.
Forgive because God says to forgive and trust God to reward you.
And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. – Mat 18:34-35
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. Fun
Be fun-loving. Don’t be too serious. Have a child-like approach to life and cast all your care upon the Lord once and for all.
Casting your care is like throwing your care on God. Don’t pick it back, drop them and leave them with the Double-breasted one.
Laugh, make jest of yourselves, play like clowns, behave like little children, pull your husband beards, do funny faces, and so on. Be creative with fun. By all means, play.
I know you are busy, but out of no time, create time. If you were told if you don’t play, you will not live past 2 months, you will take playing seriously.
It takes away the boredom and monotony out of your marriage. It even helps you to forgive better. If you have to pray for God to make you playful, do. Some of us are not naturally playful. We need the Holy Spirit’s help.
Fun in marriage is not complete without doses of intercourse. Let it be regular, spontaneous, creative, and pleasurable.
6. Be the best
This is simply being your spouse’s best friend. Remember when you were younger, how you did with your best friend. Bring the same into your marriage.
Cherish your time with your spouse. Talk about everything with the exception of nothing. Talk, talk, talk, and listen, listen and listen. Be concerned and truly care from your heart.
Think of ways to outdo yourself in being kind.
Being the best spouse to your own husband or wife entails looking into your marriage and finding out the ingredients that are missing.
Remember, you cannot change your spouse. Love your spouse without trying to make him/her conform to your own standard. Who told you your standard is the best?
Best friends never attempt to change one another. At best, they seek to lovingly influence the other person.
Do the above things, and you will be on your way to becoming a super couple. It is the doer that God promises to be blessed in his ways. Don’t just read, be a doer.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I get it right in my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for the spirit of excellence
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 6:33 [KJV] But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
The temperature of our marriage must be kept hot always. To achieve that takes a whole lot of work and attention. Our marriage is like a garden that needs constant touch and tending. Not so much of hard labour but those everyday tending, that is what will make affection increase in our marriage.
Here are some practical ways to increase affection in your marriage
1. Give undivided attention to your spouse It is disheartening when your spouse gives you little or no attention at all. You feel you don’t matter and your person is not relevant to your spouses’ life. You feel they can do without you and your input doesn’t count. This is not a good feeling and must be avoided if your marriage must work.
Learn to give your spouse your undivided attention. The best way to do this is by listening to what they have to say and looking at them eyeball to eyeball.
2. Take time to recreate together. My husband is a very busy man and I am grateful to God for his multidimensional ability in painstakingly using his initiative at his work. It is translating to food on the table. Despite his busyness, he still finds time daily to play and make us laugh.
When you are with someone you love, you should make the atmosphere lively and environment conducive to laughing, Playing, joking, making jests, telling stories, playing games together, etc. Just find something to do together.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Respect each other’s space You have to respect each other’s space. Let your spouse be. During the lockdown, my husband was quite busy putting our services online and doing other ministry stuff to meet a particular schedule. Then he finished his work and all the tension seem to have disappeared, so he wanted to play. It was however a wrong time for me to play. I was praying and studying. He did play for some time but he respected my time to study and pray. We respected each other’s space and were willing to understand and help each other grow.
4. Be each other friend Being each other’s friend has to do with everything including being gist partners, cheerleader, number 1 fan, critic, prayer partner, jester, teaser, confidant, gossip, teacher, mentor, leader, you just name it. Just focus on each other. Do things that please each other. Follow the guiding words of 1 Corinthians 13. Love each other genuinely.
5. Be your unique self Your uniqueness remains your best selling point that endears you to your spouse. Of course, try to be an improvement of who you are but don’t loss your flavor. Your flavor is the taste your spouse can never get anywhere else. Do things that your spouse can remember with only you.
Avoid nagging, being unfriendly, cold, harsh, or abusive. Try also not to be lazy, it takes hard work to build a marriage.
6. Make Jeru trip a priority What Jeru trip does in marriage is that it cements the bonds between the couples together. It helps to reduce stress and tension in the marriage. If you know how to utilize this gift very well to your advantage, it can eliminate strife completely.
For some couples, after a good Jeru trip is the best time to discuss pressing issues. This is when your husband will listen to you well and give your his undivided attention. It is foolishness for any woman to deprive (or man, as the case may be) her husband Jeru trip. Denying him is not the solution rather it will complicate matters.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the grace to show affection to my spouse
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you give me wisdom and understanding in my marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 11:29 (GW) Whoever brings trouble upon his family inherits only wind, and that stubborn fool becomes a slave to the wise in heart.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today
1. A wife, not a knife There is a difference between a wife and a knife. A knife cuts and lacerates. Such is Job’s wife who looked at him in the height of his crisis and pain and told him to curse God and die!
A wife does not give up. A good wife stays there and believes the best for her husband and home.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
2. A companion, not a competitor A man wants a companion in his wife. There is a difference between championship and companionship. A home is not a WWE arena. No man will feel good who thinks his wife is out to compete with him.
Competitive spirit between a couple defeats the very reason for marriage.
3. A help; not a hell You tell some men to repent of their sins or else they will go to hell. They simply laugh and tell you there is no hell hotter than the ones their wives are giving them at home. Sounds humorous, but is actually sad to hear.
Every man needs genuine help. He may not own up to it if he is overly egocentric, but the truth remains he needs help.
A woman was created to help the man. But when she decides to give him hell at home, all will not be well.
Sometimes, it is the man that pushes the woman to this point, but it is not always a good place to be in.
A joke was told of the devil invading a particular club and everybody ran away including the club owner except one man.
The devil was surprised. So he asked him,
“Are you not scared? Everybody is running from me and you are just sitting there?” The man sips his drink and calmly replied, “I am not scared of you. What can you do? I have been married to your sister for seven years, what else can you do that she has not done?
4. A friend, not a fraud Every man needs a friend. A friend is always there for you. A friend loves genuinely. Friends talk and communicate. Friends cover each other’s back. Friends want to be around each other. Friends look forward to being together.
There is no point getting married to somebody whose guts you hate.
Are you still your husband’s friend? If not, do all you can to become friends again.
If there is a courtship or marriage where the couple is no longer friends, crisis is in the corner.
5. A playmate, not a co-tenant Every man loves to play. There is a recreational tendency in every man. If he doesn’t see it in his wife, he would hang around the boys in town!
Ever wondered why your husband would leave a large LCD, curved Samsung TV at home to go and watch football in a club on a smaller TV? It is the ‘play” in the watching, the comments, the laughter, the conversations that ensues while the game is going on.
It is not wise to get so busy and leave him all alone to watch his football. Get interested; learn the names…and you will be amazed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a wife indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
Distractions will come at you as you plan to manage your time well. They come straight at you, heavy and unrelenting. You have to learn how to identify and stop them if you want to make good use of your time. You have to learn to remove distractions.
Distractions could be from friends, family and even you. There will be good distractions that look pleasing and reasonable but are not pushing you forward.
For instance, you want to study your bible for the evening and a friend visits and asks that you both study for a test tomorrow.
It’s a good thing – studying for a test, but is it in your plan? No. You have to learn to remove distractions. Rather than study or tell your friend you can’t study with him because of bible study, ask him to join you for bible study. After that, you can both study for the test.
Ensure you explain to him first what you are planning to do and if he agrees to wait or join you, fine. And if he refuses, well you can try to further explain to him. But you have to learn to remove distractions.
I’m sure he will agree. If he doesn’t, well, it’s not your fault, you just have to stick to your plan.
Remember, there’s a time for everything under the sun.
There is a powerful concept of time that you should know – time lost can never be recovered. It’s not a piece of paper that can be found or a missing person. It goes away and becomes history to you. So you have to learn to remove distractions.
Always put this thought before you as you do things. Ask yourself ‘What I am doing now, is it what I should be doing?’
May God grant you more insight about the concept of time. Amen.
Action plan: Lord, give me the strength and wisdom to handle any distraction that comes my way. Teach me how to remove distractions. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Action plan: Stay firm in how you manage your time.
